Wolf RPG

For the second time that day, the little red wolf woke up with a start. When she turned to look up at the skies, she saw that they were dark. It was still night, but the faint fingertips of morning reached out among the clouds, touching the skies with majestic purples and reds.

Yawning aloud, she picked herself up and was determined to continue her search when she realized where she was. This was no longer Rising Sun Valley but rather a different paradise altogether. The earth felt different here. Even the air had changed. Surveying the land, she could see pools of water shimmering with what little light reached the ground. There in between all the pools was a giant snake of a creek. It waters were like precious stones, and she found her dry mouth allured by the promise of relief.

Momentarily forgetting her search for the big, black wolf, she brought herself close to the edge and dipped her head in for a drink. Her coat gleamed a vibrant red, which seemed to upset the dominant silver in the area. She did not care. She wanted to be found.

Lapping up the cool waters, she lifted her head much as a deer would when something dark streaked through her vision. Turning to see if it was him, she found her heart pound as she confirmed it was--and he was coming right towards her!

Flinching for what she believed to be imminent impact, she was relieved when no such thing happen. For a moment, she wanted to pounce on the wolf but realized that she was actually very, very upset with him. But she did not have the energy to play their typical games. She raised herself up and sat down and only barely managed to suppress a ferocious yawn. A small tear formed in the corner of her eye, which she brushed off with the tip of her bushy tail. "You know how I am and why I'm here," she said with a snap.

Immediately regretting this break in temper, she recomposed herself by sipping in a deep breath and exhaling with a sigh. "Big Black Wolf," she said, not willing to use the name she had already repeated to herself a thousand times, "Does it have to be like this? It feels like, like..." Her words left her, and she scrambled around in her mind trying to describe this feeling of wanting to be so close to someone, but knowing it would bring certain consequences and even death, but wanting it anyways. Wanting it so bad. "Like something bad." Her eloquent conclusion.

In that sense they were the same, hurting others when they did not intend to. The wounds the little red wolf tended to inflict were more inward than outward, however. If he and she were ever to find themselves in a physical altercation, it would be easy to wager who the winner would be. Even so, she would not go down without leaving a few deep wounds of her own; and if she were still alive, she would ensure that scabs were always picked, healing prevented.

The tear was merely from her yawning, but he attempted to comfort her all the same, and she felt a now familiar prickling of her heart. She did not know why these feelings were present, having never truly experienced them before, and she was not sure whether she liked them. His boyish grin was marred with something quite unpleasant, and it ended up making him look rather wicked. She wanted to laugh, for if there was anything she had not yet experienced from Jace, it was that he was an evil wolf. Yes, he always argued with her otherwise, but his actions told otherwise.

"...but I know why I would like you to be here." She did not understand these words, but that and the way he moved brought a chill up her spine all the same.

Not smiling as he once more said his name, she felt her uneasiness increase as his own facial expressions were almost frenetic in how often they changed. Maybe he was picking up on her own tendency to be emotional, though before meeting him she had not known this about herself. He spoke, and he spoke too much truth. The thought of being ostracized scared her, and she knew that her fiery sprite of an Alpha would not be slow in discipline. After all, she was still a nobody. She had moved up higher in the ranks but was in the lower tier and had not quite proved herself. Her attempts to collect game were earnest but weak, and a recent pack hunt had proved this as well. Moreover, she seemed to have more interactions with members of The Sunspire than she did her own pack, but this fact did not mystify her as it should have. As he sat down, she looked up at him and knew he was the reason.

She had never confronted Fox about her budding friendship with Jace and honestly was afraid to. Not saying anything for a long while, she felt the urge to rest her head upon his shoulder. But she resisted, somehow knowing it was inappropriate. More time passed until the silence almost seemed impenetrable.

"T-tell me to go away," she said, verbalizing what he had not had the heart to say aloud. "Tell me, tell me to never come back. Tell me I'm nothing but an acquaintance to you and that it's time for us to part ways." Once more, a tear formed at the corner of her eye, then another one, then another one, though this time they were not from fatigue. She allowed it to gloss her pale green eyes and stubbornly refused to bat them away, even at they began to sting.

What she loved most about him was his laugh. Yes, she was captivated by the cold blueness of his eyes, but there was something about his laugh that soothed her. It wrapped her in a blue darkness and quieted the hot red noise in her heart--and more yet, forced her to think beyond herself.

Feeling her own facial features tigthen as he admonished her once more for crying, she stubbornly refused to bat away the tears that had begun to streak down her cheeks and collected on the tip of her chin. He once more proclaimed that he was an "honest wolf," but she could only shake her head at the deceit. Honest. Yes, he was saying what he frankly felt, but there was so much that he held back. She could feel it, an impenetrable wall forcing it way through the darkness. It separated her from him.

As she lost sight of him, he became more and more of a shadow. His last words seemed to her like a wisp, and in that same instant, it vanished. Choked out of existence. She rebelled against his so-called freedom. He was not being honest. This was not freedom. It was a shucking of responsibilities.

Pale green eyes now glossy but tearless, the little red wolf spoke: "You may be honest, but it means nothing when you don't do anything about it." If it would have been dishonest of him to tell her to go away, then he should have been honest and told her he wanted her to stay--and to keep her. Instead, he gave her some silly choice, as if it were a choice at all. For if he were not willing to pursue her, then what more was there to decide? She was not worthy enough of his pursuit and unwanted.

With an ugly frown that wrinkled her face, she suppressed it with a smile. "Go away. We are nothing more than shadows to each other. Never look for me. This 'pretty face' will never cry for you again." Even though she was no longer shouting, she felt her heart feeding on her bitterness, and she knew that it was wrong. But she could not help it, or so she believed, and so she continued to feed until she was gorged on this hatred

"Go!" she urged as tears once more threatened her eyes. She was also honest and would not break her promise to never show weakness to him again. But inside, she lied. Inside, she wept.

If the little red wolf had been more experienced, she might have been more aware of the games she was playing with the big, black wolf. But unfortunately, she felt blameless. Part of her realized that she was being rather influential--manipulative was a term she was not yet ready to admit--but part of her felt as if she were being logical and part of her felt so right. She was all parts, pieces if you will. Like a broken mirror that had never had a chance to pull itself together again. Forever fragmented.

If the little red wolf had been more patient, she might have entertained his tirade. Or even bothered to listen. But instead, it was lost in the heat of her own emotions. His anger both hurt her and gave her more energy to fight and to kick and to scream. However, it was his care for her that infuritated her the most. Not because she did not want him to care for her--oh, she wanted it, and so very, very badly--but because it reminded her of how great the distance was between them. It was a chasm that could not be crossed without some divine intervention.

If the little red wolf had been more brave, she would have embraced what she slowly began to realize sentence by sentence. He was falling in love with her. It was a strange thought, one she was unfamiliar with, and it scared her. Not knowing what to do, she could only maintain her vanity and pride. When he looked straight at her, she felt herself freeze, but her face also froze without changing into something softer, something more reflective of what she felt inside.

So he left without further complaint. His offer for further assistance lingered with her and surrounded her, threatening to suffocate her. Who knew that love could feel so much like death? "Don't leave me," she whispered, but it was far too soft for anybody but herself to hear. His big, black form eventually receded into the shadows of the mountain, and she was left alone. She had everything she had asked for and more, but never had she felt more dissatisfied.

The tears came easily once she had solitude, and they felt ran hot across her cheeks but became cool once they reached her chest and heart.