Wolf RPG

Full Version: But if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?
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His patrol was hard to get through this morning as the weight of everything sat heavy on his chest. He didn't know what Rosalie's presence here would mean for him, and it only added to his ever-present anxiety. He couldn't help but be scared that @Alessia would take off, children still inside, and disappear with her best friend; it was a fear he felt he had no right to have, but that didn't stop it from making its way into his thoughts any chance it got. He tried to reason with himself--tell his brain that she wouldn't do that, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop the intrusive flashes of an empty den and a fruitless search leaving him utterly alone and even more broken than he already was. 

He sighed heavily and shook out his coat, wanting desperately to shake out the awful thoughts like they were just dirt in his inky fur; if only it were that easy. He started walking again, too distracted by now to even try to mark anything or inspect scents. He was just going through the motions, hoping to find something to take his mind off things.
She hasn't made much of a habit of seeking out her mate, but today she finds herself wanting his company. It isn't purely her own desire for his presence that drives her to him, though. His recent tension is difficult to miss, and she can't help but worry that it has something to do with Rosalie's presence. She hides her anxiety well when she finds him, though, tail swishing when she catches sight of the familiar dark figure. Kavik, She calls softly, offering him a smile when she's gotten his attention. She greets him with a gentle, affectionate nudge as she draws closer, gaze warm but solemn as she glances to him. He seems... tense, and she can't stop the concerned question from finally spilling from her. Is everything alright?
His silent fretting was eventually interrupted by the sound of his name from the object of his anxiety, and he was met with her smile as he turned. Kavik stopped walking as she approached and offered him a affectionate nudge in greeting, her question following soon after. He wasn't surprised she had noticed something was up; he was never very good at hiding when something was bothering him. He returned her affection, offering an gentle touch of his nose to her cheek before he started walking again, not answering her question at first. He didn't want to upset or worry her when she already had so much going on. Plus, he normally kept these kinds of things to himself, attempting to work through them on his own and decide if his anxiety was warranted or was just something created in the part of his brain that told him he wasn't worthy of any kind of happiness. But his way of dealing with things had caused problems between him and Liri, and he wondered if maybe he should tell his mate how he was feeling. They had talked about things before, and even if they weren't ever really about his demons, he thought maybe talking might help him put his mind at ease--or end his suffering and make his fears reality. Either way, he made up his mind, drawing in a deep breath as he prepared to bring up what was bothering him. Um, well, Kavik began a little awkwardly, not very good at expressing these kinds of things. I guess I've been a little worried about what Rosalie's presence will mean for...well me, he continued. I'm glad you have someone around that you trust, but-- He paused for a few seconds, unsure how to say what he wanted to say. I've just been afraid that you might take the children and leave with her, he finally finished, unable to look in Alessia's direction. I...don't want you or the children to go anywhere, he added quietly, gaze flicking to her face briefly before focusing back on the snowy ground in front of them. He didn't just want her to stay for the children, he wanted her to stay because he had grown to care about her, and he genuinely enjoyed her presence in his life. He was afraid to admit that part just yet, afraid of her reaction and afraid that saying it out loud might tempt the curse to find some way to rip his family from him like it had taken his pack and the plateau.
The moment of silence worries her, but she waits for Kavik to speak. She's a little surprised by how guilty she feels as he finishes his admission. Her gaze flits to him just as he looks away from her, and the guilt intensifies. Kavik, I wouldn't leave you, She starts, knowing it's not entirely true — or maybe it is? She swallows hard before she continues. I love Rosalie, and I don't intend to let anything keep us apart again — but I made a commitment to you, too. I won't take your children from you, or you from them. She pauses, contemplating her next words for a few beats. When she finally speaks again, her words are quieter and perhaps a little rushed. And I do care about you, despite what you may think.
His shoulders dropped a little at her words, relief loosening the knot of tension in his chest. It was good to hear that she hadn't considered leaving him even now that Rosalie had found her. But it didn't sounds like Rosalie was going anywhere, not that he thought she would, but it still left him with the question of what would come next. Her admission slowed his steps some, and he turned so that their gazes could meet. It was like she read his thoughts, and he wanted to reciprocate the sentiment, but fear held him back. Instead, his expression turned sad, and he shook his head. You shouldn't care about me, he said, his tone defeated. It would only bring her bad luck. Besides, he was the reason she was in this mess in the first place; it just didn't seem fair that she forgave him so easily, especially now that she had apparently forgiven him enough to care for him. I'm sorry, he said after a few seconds, turning away again. It's just that...bad things seem to happen to those who care about me. He couldn't bear the thought of something happening to Alessia because of him.