She watched the water come down, still enraptured by its thunderous beauty.
The willows would be special to her children. They would call it home. Their only home, at least until (or if!) they moved away. For Lily, she was a transplant here, and while she felt at ease within the forest, it did not solely claim the definition of "home." That was split among several places.
Would they find it as beautiful as she did? Or would they grow used to it, bored of it, and seek other vistas elsewhere? She found herself musing over these thoughts and more as she sat by the waterfall, pondering the future. The failed interactions with Mali still tumbled through her mind.
She was more certain than anything else that her children would get the love and care that Delight's had lacked throughout their life. But what if something were to happen? If Elysium underwent a crisis and their parents perished, along with the others, and they were left alone? Would they grow resentful and sullen, passed on to those who might not care for them as much? Would they be irreparably broken?
No use mulling over hypotheticals, she knew. But this late in the game, when she was so pregnant that any physical activities much beyond eating and sleeping were out of the question, hypotheticals were what kept her up at night.
More on the mend by the day, and invigorated by the true hints of spring on the winds, Silas stepped down the path that he hoped would lead him to Lily with a fresh rabbit slack in his teeth. It hadn't been the original intention in catching it, but opportunity presented itself and he may as well offer. After laying low during the festivities weeks back, and keeping to his own self alongside Qilaq deep in the willows in the meantime, it was hard to sociable most days, but he was on the upswing, contrary to what his socializing may suggest—and he did want her to know he had all of their, and Elysium's, best interests at heart. His head no longer felt so frantic, his sleeps were restful, and with a little more meat on his narrow bones to boot, it did a lot for overall well-being; he only had Elysium to thank for this.
With a little time to fine-tune where his nose led him, he did find her, but as he saw her dark furs, he had to wonder if he may be intruding on something peacefully private. Imbued with a measure of caution, he gently stepped closer—but not too close, and carefully he set the kill at his paws. Lily.. hi,
he chuffed, unsure how else to break the waters of conversation here, not when the scene was set so picturesque without him. If I'm interrupting.. I can go, but I was passing by. Wanted to stop, say hello...
he explained, almost haltingly towards the end, but these were nuances that were gradually coming back around for him and he tried not to feel nervous. Old habits were hard, and he was doing better. So, to fill his blank, he nudged the crumpled rabbit with a paw in silent offer. Silas suspected her pups to be getting close (though he didn't know how close), and well, maybe her appetite grew with them too.
She caught sight of someone approaching and lifted her chin, beginning to stand, only to relax when she realized who it was. Hallo, Silas,
Lily chirped, smiling. You're not interrupting a thing. Come, do sit down—I need something to occupy my mind. Right now, I'm just worrying over nothing.
The Satori nodded to the rabbit he'd brought. Well caught,
she remarked warmly. She was happy to see that he was contributing. Not that she hadn't expected it, not at all. . .she was always glad to see wolves doing their part here. She really didn't ask for a whole lot. How are you settling in? How's Qilaq?
Lily hadn't seen much of Qilaq lately, although the shadow was still quite wary. Still, she had noticeably bloomed since Silas' return. Who wouldn't, in her paws? Her love had returned.
After his pause came her invitation, so with a sheepish splay to his ears, he dipped his head to pick the kill up and stepped closer slowly, and carefully too. He hoped that her worries truly were nothing to worry about, but he didn't have the right words to offer his condolences over that, if they were. He was, however, glad for her chipper attitude in seeing him, despite whatever busied her mind exactly, so he kept his sympathies unspoken enough.
Ah thank you. You can have it.. if you'd like,
he said, nosing it gently. I do plan to catch another,
he smiled softly because there was plenty of day left and he was far from starved comfortable beneath these willows. It was very different for him but all was well. It's.. it's going good, she's great,
he said, tail swishing softly with a fond look about him. In his settling in, he had cleared his mind and understood, gradually, what fate had done once he had finally tried to relax even a bit. I realized I do remember these woods from before.. but I was very young, and, uh, circumstance was very different last time I was here.
He remembered them in the worst cold he had ever known, months after tailing his mother and father in desperation to their sanctuary even then after the Hollow left them no love. It had begun in a weird, familiar sense of deja vu that he wasn't sure if he could place or not, and walking around with Qilaq familiarizing himself had helped him really solidify the feeling that it was more than that.
This was where the Keep had abandoned him, and where he had wanted to wait for his family to not return to him, as naively as that had been before winter bore down. He could almost marvel that he had come full circle like that, but this time, different--better, he preferred to believe.
His gift was received with a smile of gratitude, and she placed a paw gently over its still form. Thank you, Silas!
Lily said. I'll definitely take it. Maybe bring some to Khali, too.
Her eyes glowed with appreciation as she stared at the young man, tail wagging behind her.
Qilaq was brought up only briefly, and then he segued to a different topic altogether—one that had the smile on her face dimming a little, as she realized the somber turn. Different as in. . .not so good?
she pried gently, canting her head in inquiry. She wouldn't push him too hard, but if he didn't want to talk about it, he wouldn't have broached the subject. . .right?
And if Qilaq had been with him then, too, it would be beneficial to know to learn more about the both of them, and why Qilaq was so withdrawn, so timid. Silas had a lot of that way about him, too. . .but not to the extent of the dark-furred girl.
His cheeks warmed subtly beneath his furs, and he dipped his head in a grateful little nod to her thanks. His greatest strengths lie in what he could help provide, so to find them well-received, either by her, her mate, or any of the other pack mates, he gleaned his satisfaction in these simple moments of giving--even if they did not seem like all that much and often it could go without saying as he stocked and stored extras. He knew to value the small things, of course, but face to face, it was difficult to not. You are very welcome, feel free,
he said, although his voice was small, his eyes were bright--happy, good, and the rest of his body was relearning to reflect this as well.
Oh, different in.. I was young enough to still be with my family,
he said, trying to place the best way to summarize this neatly when he could only recall the major, key points to this day. He had not known Qilaq yet (although he probably only met her because they moved to the willows--he couldn't imagine her so far inland as the Hollow), and had been bookmarked by both his siblings still with both parents in his life, all unmarred by great tragedy in his lifetime at least. He had been too young and naive to fully grasp their struggles, and bad luck. Different in that way as well, he supposed. Famine came to my birthplace, then.. there was a cougar, so my parents took us elsewhere and my mother.. she met the leader, who offered us space and a home here--Marauder's Keep, then.
So even years back and beneath another name and leader, it had been a sanctuary to them and the healing quality of these woods difficult to deny for someone who had experienced it twice over now. He found something almost poetic in this, though couldn't say exactly what it was beside a feeling.
By winter.. ah, they had all scattered though. Only me and another yearling were left and.. we had to go,
he said lowly, almost shrinking his voice more as this was what had truly opened the floodgates on his real, adultlife struggles where they had only trickled in before. Had it not been for the season, or the abandonment he didn't feel deserving of, he might have stayed much longer--might have being key. It is amazing to me that Qilaq found this place, and you all here too.
I'm lucky, he could finally say about something.
She was relieved to hear that it wasn't necessarily bad memories that came to his mind, just ones that were different. Lily listened intently, drinking up the history of once was. Marauder's Keep. She mouthed the name to herself, thinking it sounded like some kind of warriors' pack, more brutal and closed-off than Elysium could ever dream to be. Maybe she was being too cynical, though.
It's amazing to me that any of us find each other,
the blackbird said with a warm smile. What are the odds? Take one step a different direction and everything could be different.
She thought about that quite often. How she had been the master of her own fate, and yet—it had all been quite unconscious, hadn't it?
Lily cocked her head. So you are happy here?
she inquired, less of a question and more of an affirmation. If he wasn't. . .well, he wouldn't say so now, right? But she didn't think so. She hoped that all the contentment she saw in the lithe young man was for Elysium and his reunion with Qilaq.
I believe that, too..
he said quietly, still awed that it had happened this way, and that life's twists and turns saw fit to guide this course. It was amazing.. maybe even more than that. For one of the few times in his life, he felt lucky. Right? I think about.. all the roads I traveled and saw, turns I made.. this instead of a that.
With only the right one being different, none of this might even be possible at all. He could still be wandering, lost, feeling hopeless--or maybe even worse, and dead somewhere with Qilaq to never know what became of his fate.
But no. None of that, and he was doing better than he had been in moons. With a soft tilt to his head back to hers, he soon nodded despite having his guesses as to why she asked. Happy was an easy way to put it, although he hoped he could be more than that as well. Happy, well-adjusted, useful. He wanted to mend and find his real strength again, mental and physical. I would say that I am, yes,
he replied, though still kept his voice low and thoughtful. The willows were good to him and he hoped to see this continue on, going forward.
Her eyes grew round and soft with wonder as Silas spoke. It really was a wonderful way to look at life and the world around them. She was glad he saw it the same, and that he could articulate it, as well. It made the ground beneath her paws feel that much more solid.
I'm so very glad to hear it,
Lily answered, quiet but fervent. You—and Qilaq—have a home here for as long as you like. I consider you two part of the family, now,
she added, her gaze glowing sincere. Even if they one day departed, she would hold them in her heart. Always.
The scent of the rabbit brought her out of her reverie, and she smiled, the expression growing sheepish as her stomach rumbled quite audibly. I'm going to go take this back to my den, knock it back, and perhaps nap for three days,
she giggled. It was good to speak with you, Silas. . .and don't be a stranger. Stop by anytime, especially after the pups are born.
After farewells were exchanged, she stooped to seize the kill and padded away from the rush of the water, into the sanctum of the willows. Feeling much better than she had before—
For even if she perished, if Khali perished. . .as long as Elysium lived on, and wolves like Silas roamed these trees, her children would grow up surrounded by love. And that was enough.