you know what? yeah! fuck this. fuck that. fuck everything. first of all, fuck bat. fuck her for leaving him on purpose. fuck mom and dad for leaving him on purpose. fuck niamh, for chasing out easy... and then for leaving him. fuck clover for treating him like absolute garbo. fuck everyone. fuck towhee, even. for no good reason except tegan assumed she probably knew about the whole bat thing -- may not, maybe he'd gotten ahead of himself. but either way, fuck towhee.
quixote was right, he thought as he made east, he wasn't stable enough to be a beta at all. and good riddance, who the fuck wants to lead a pack of good for nothing dumbasses who just up and fuckin leave? he was going elsewhere. somewhere better. where was better? fuck if i know.
actually, i do know, because i'm the narrator, but you don't get to know.
so as tegan made east, bailing on every wolf that had first bailed on him, he felt a little bit more whole.
"Tegan...?"
Bee would blink at the familiar boy, stomping around almost out of her view. she would pause mid-step, one limb raised curiously. wondering if she should go near him. he looked a bit upset. their last encounter had been pleasant enough, and she counted him as one of her budding friends in the Teekons. she was sure it was him. it had to be. though she had hoped she'd see him again, hoping was a strong suit of hers, she didn't expect to so soon.
her acceptance into Moonspear and come and gone. she now had a pack to call home. hopefully. she was still a total newbie. still didn't know many people aside from Revui, Hydra, and Charon. and even then, she didn't know them at all. her tail would sway behind her, wagging thoughtfully at Tegan's appearance. was he on another super mission? as it was, she was still a few paces away. hopefully, her voice had carried to him. maybe she was easy to miss.
oh motherfucker. tegan almost whipped around and bit some heads off, expecting to see like... i dunno, someone from the redhawks. like, just a total coincidence but now they were like 'why are you way out here?!' kind of deal.
whatever.
but either way, when he turned -- cool and collected -- he saw not towhee, but bee! from the other way! "no fuckin way!" he chirped, excited to see a friendly face -- and a pretty one, at that. "are you stalking me?" he then asked in bold, teasing accusation... all for good fun though. the look on his face was incredibly playful, a happy, lopsided smirk, tail wagging.
it really was Tegan. Willoughby would grin broadly, approaching the equally friendly face. she wanted to press her nose against his shoulder in welcome but stopped herself just in time. she still didn't know him well enough, and she always thought people thought it was rude to do such a thing. "oh, I just live here now!" what was stalking? the word was unfamiliar to her. she jerked her head toward where the pack was. "Moonspear took me in."
her head leaned forward, eagerness reaching her blue gaze. "are you here on a super cool mission?" the world's best scout had to be! Bee was ignorant of how he had left his own pack and until he told her (if he did) she would assume he was still a part of it. "ooh, are you going to Moonspear?" if he was, she was going to give him the best escort there! her own tail wagged happily, keen on showing her new friend her new home.
his ears pricked at the mention of moonskpear. "oh," he said with general surprise, "our packs are allies -- i'm part of the redhawks." was part of the redhawks. but tegan didn't bother mentioning that.
super cool mission? oh, fuck, right... he had been on a super cool mission last time he'd seen her. and now he was jumping ship like a fuckin pussy. "nah," tegan said with a small smile, tail waving, "just exploring, ya know, gotta keep my tracking skills sharp." even at the mention of moonspear, tegan shrugged, he didn't need to go there for any reason.. not anymore. "how's hydra?" he decided to ask, knowing damn well hydra was probably doing fine because she was a hot piece of ass and any wolf that good looking was always fairing well.
"that's a cool name!" Bee would reply with another wag of her tail. Tegan of the Redhawks... it had a nice ring to it. she was ignorant of him leaving the pack though. she'd always assume he was part of it until he told her otherwise. "and they are? good! that means I can come to visit sometimes. I-I mean... unless you want me too." she'd add shyly.
Hydra... Hydra... oh, that lady at her joining! she remembered her now. "I just met her actually" the girl would respond honestly "she looks fine to me. healthy, able to talk" so that was 'good' in her books. Bee's head tilted. "are you friends with her? should I say 'hi' next time I see her for you?" she was always able to go deliver a message! she wanted to try her hand at being a scout too. Tegan had an exciting life!
tegan grinned at the compliment of the redhawks. despite the fact that he totally was no longer affiliated with them, it had been his namesake for quite some time. anyhoo. her next comment kind of caught him off guard, mostly because he totally wasn't trying to do anything here but... her shyness kind of caught his attention. did that mean... what he thought it meant?
he shot her a broad smile, tail waving. "yeah, b, you should definitely come visit me sometime, i'll give ya a grand tour," he told her with a tilt of his chin upwards.
tegan chuckled then, quickly shaking his head. "she saved me once a while back when i got a bad concussion on another mission. she's real cool, but we're not pals or anything," he explain, and then added, "glad she's doing well."
"how do you like it?" he decided to ask, not often one to ask about the wellbeing of strangers too often.
Bee gave a whoop at his acceptance of visiting. she even pressed off against the ground with her front paws, doing a quick little jump. she hadn't met many wolves she'd like to meet again, but Tegan was definitely one she liked. "yay! I promise to behave!" she giggled, wanting no trouble for the Redhawks. she wouldn't even eat their food from their cache when she came to see him. nope, that was their food. not her's. even if she was asked to share... well... maybe if she was sharing with Tegan.
he'd go on to say that Hydra was a cool person, giving Bee time to nod. she thought she was too. so much more important than Little Bee in Moonspear and so much more valuable to the pack. like anyone, she wanted to be friends. the girl would remind herself of her encounter with Revui as she patrolled, how busy he had seemed. then Jarilo and his patrol. heck, everyone was working. "it's... a bit lonely" but she had to be truthful "everyone is doing lots of work and I sorta don't know what to do."
she felt she was in the way more often than not. however, she'd grin. "but I'm trying my best!" she didn't want Tegan to worry.
at her comment about behaving, tegan merely gave an amused scoff. "i don't even behave," he chimed in return, granted, it was probably different for him than anyone else since he was pretty much prince of the pack. not that anyone fuckin treated him that way...
and then, surprisingly, tegan found he was a little worried. none of that sounded very good... she said she was trying her best! but tegan wasn't really sure what all that accounted for. especially since, well, you know, he too had been trying his best and he was still pretty unhappy. he knew how it went.
"well, hey, you just joined," tegan offered with as much encouragement as he could manage, reaching out to nudge her cheek in a friendly sort of manner, "and if you ever decide it's not for you, you should pop by the redhawks." he added that with a hefty grin, but... jeez. tegan wouldn't even be there, would he? good thing his plans changed in the next few threads.
Bee's face went into a little 'oh' at his admission he didn't behave himself. she'd giggle shortly after that, clearly amused. she said nothing to that, trying to think of what to say to that. she didn't want to be mean or rude, insult the Redhawks or Tegan. but before she could say anything more, he had offered encouragement before leaning in to rub his nose against her cheek. the gesture was well-meaning and friendly enough, even if her heart did a little ba-bump.
flustered, she'd focus on his offer to join the Redhawks. "sure!" she'd blurt out with an easy grin. it would help to have at least one friendly face in a pack she was in. but she promised to do her best for Moonspear and try. she wasn't going to give up so easily. "either way, I'm definitely going to, like, visit your pack" she surprised herself as she adopted naturally Tegan's way of speaking. "who leads the Redhawks?" Bee would ask.
"bet," said tegan with a few wags of his tail. and to her next question, felt a little drum against his own heart -- not the flutter of butterfly wings though, more like the cold hard hammer of failure and betrayal. whoops.
"well, this guy named quixote is our alpha. he's dope. and then my sister towhee and i are both beta's, but i'm thinking about stepping down. not really for me," he said with a shrug, trying to downplay the fact that he was totally in charge and totally doing some bad things. she didn't know. but he knew. and ouch it kinda hurt to think about.
"okay! I'll let them know when I come visiting" and if he was looking for her to coddle him, she wouldn't. Tegan knew his own limitations and she would support her new friend with whatever he decided. rank meant little to Willoughby. she had no concept of responsibility outside of simple things like patrolling and hunting. she really didn't want a higher rank. it meant less time to do what she wanted to do.
so no, she didn't blame him for his decision. "you do what you think is best!" she'd encourage instead with a smile "nobody will fault you if you step down" hopefully not "cause it means you're mature enough to make that decision." for a brief moment there was some inner wisdom among her casual nature. could she be smarter than she let on? maybe. possibly. who really knew?