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Red had scented Fang standing on the outcropping nearby, and, without a good plan of how to approach him now that things were a bit awkward between them, she decided to circle around him at first, giving herself time to figure out what to say to him. She had gotten lucky, it seemed, because no sooner was she a bit farther on then she had found a rabbit nibbling on a patch of weeds poking up through the Sunspire’s rocky surface. She dropped down to her belly so she wouldn’t scare it off, crept up as close as she dared, and pounced…
A minute or so later, with a dead rabbit now dangling from her jaws, she made her way towards Fang and his low, baying howl of greeting. From the sounds of it, he obviously hadn’t figured out it was her, and she was halfway glad for that. She could surprise him now, and she was carrying a gift, even. She wasn’t hungry, after all, and couldn’t let a perfectly good rabbit go to waste like that. She stepped up out of the shadows of the night to stand directly in front of Fang. She gave a muffled woof in greeting, and then came forward a bit more and dropped the animal at his feet. Then she backed up a little.
For you,
she said quietly, giving him a shy smile.
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Red breathed in slowly as Fang nuzzled her neck. She buried her muzzle into his shoulder to return the gesture, and had to keep herself from whining when he pulled away. She had missed him a lot during his leave, which only solidified in her mind the fact that she loved him. She watched his face when he pulled away. He seemed bothered about something and she wanted to know what, but she also didn’t want to push him. He would tell her if and when he was ready. Which, it seemed, was now.
He explained briefly that he and Ferdie had had some kind of disagreement, which immediately put the coywolf on edge. She brushed his kiss off for the moment, and sniffed at him, walking around him in a slow circle to check for wounds. But there was nothing; he seemed physically healthy. Red sighed in relief and then came up and returned his kiss, licking him on the cheek. She looked into his eyes and whined happily, to say, I missed you, too.
Then she pulled pack and looked at him seriously, asking, What kind of disagreement?
If Ferdie had threatened Fang, also, Red was going to come down hard on his ass. She was tired of this whole thing about wanting to leave hanging over her head and she didn’t need him dragging anyone else into it.
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Fang’s words did not really surprise Red. She sat when he did and listened as he told a story that she had been afraid she might hear. So he had told Ferdie to lay off her. While she appreciated the sentiment, she was afraid it might get him in trouble later on, though she said nothing about it. The only thing in his words that she did not really get was when he mentioned that Ferdie had spoken of a “broken heart”.
Eloquently, she said, What the fuck? He told you I had broken his heart?
(This wasn’t actually what Fang had told her that Ferdie had said, but Red had decided to jump to conclusions). I hardly know him! We’ve only spoken three or four times at length since I joined the Sunspire!
Now, of course, Red had no idea how much of a hypocrite she was, as the same was true for Fang and herself. But if anyone had ever bothered to point that out, she would have, like a teenager, said something along the lines of, “It’s different for Fang and me. You just don’t understand.”
She got up, no longer comfortable with sitting, and began to pace. I’m going to have to go set some things straight with that — … with him,
she said. Clearly he doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing, especially if he thinks that I love him in any way, shape, or form. Does he not know that we’re together? Because—
And this is where she awkwardly cut herself off and then turned her head slightly to stare at Fang. She hesitated for a moment, cleared her throat, and then said, I mean… we are together… aren’t we?
It seemed, for the moment, that the coywolf was done ranting.
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Fang’s reaction to her question was not how she had imagined it would be. She had been expecting a resounding “Of course we are.” What she had gotten instead left much to be desired. But then she realized something that made her both want to laugh and cry at the same time. She sat down and gave a single laugh, shaking her head. She looked away, up at the sky, and said absentmindedly, Oh God. I’m just as bad as Ferdie is, aren’t I?
Without letting Fang give an answer, she continued. Ferdie assumed he and I were together just because I let him groom me and I was nice to him. I’ve… done the same thing here, right? You - you don’t… you don’t love me. I mean, you like me, and we’re friends. But you don’t like me the way I like you… do you?
She took a deep breath, and seemed to rouse from slumber. She looked at him and gave him a crooked smile, though she felt empty inside — drained of emotion. It’s fine. I’m not gonna do what he did and be a jerk to you just because you don’t like me. I mean, we’re still gonna be friends, right? That’s good enough, I guess.
She turned away again. If wolves could cry, she probably would be right now without realizing it. Fang had never actually said that he loved her. She knew that — well, she realized it now. And she realized she’d been a fool for assuming it of him.
For the second time when discussing her emotions towards him, Red said softly, I’m sorry.
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Red jumped a bit when Fang came and sat next to her so closely that he was nearly sitting on her. She listened to his words silently, and said nothing in return, though what he had said plastered a large smile on her face. She leaned against him, nuzzling her snout into his fur, and then looked up at the stars. She was quiet and still like this for a time, and then a thought occurred to her. She didn’t know how Fang would take it, but there no way she could be sure of his response until she asked.
Clearing her throat and swallowing to try and give herself some time to think of how to word it, she finally spoke. So… does this make us mates?
Here, the coywolf hesitated for a moment, afraid he would shy away from that word. Mates. I mean, I know you have a hard time expressing your feelings, but that’s what we are, I think. We might as well be. That doesn’t mean we have to actually mate. I’m too young to bear pups right now, anyways. But…
At this point, she was feeling much too embarrassed to continue, and didn’t know why. Normally, she was quite instinctive, so talking about being mates and mating shouldn’t have affected her the way it was. But it did. And she didn’t know how to stop it. So she just waited. There was nothing else to do at this point, after all…
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