Wolf RPG

Full Version: he said, 'my boy you've got to run,'
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*rubs hands together* sry fam

the news had been broken; revui was now beta.

arcturus had stepped from his brother's company to stew over the news, fearing he could hold his composure no longer. learning of revui's ascension, arcturus primarily felt betrayed.. less-than... ignored. why hadn't he been good enough for his father? what made revui better?

they were of the same age, two peas in a pod -- if revui had been suitable for leadership, why hadn't he?

he wanted to feel proud of his brother, and he did. a big part of him knew his brother was a strong wolf, and would make a fearsome leader -- but did that always equal good? again, those needling thoughts of bitterness and self-doubt plagued him -- if revui's name was in the ring, why wasn't his?

he had sworn he would not make a fuss of it. he had sworn he would go on with life, unaffected by this upheaval. he had sworn he wouldn't throw a tantrum, or call attention to his sour grapes...

and then he did exactly what he swore he would not do. in a howl so furious, so wounded and full of hurt, arcturus threw back his head and demanded the presence of his parents for an explanation; @Amekaze for overlooking what had been under her nose faithfully since the day he was born, and @Charon for forgetting that it had been arcturus, not revui, that had done everything he had asked without him ever requiring to ask in the first place; be the son that never strayed or went wayward, and never once did something that cost the family greatly.
Summoned quite ferociously, she slid forth from the forested slopes to answer with her presence. Given the timing being not exactly ideal all things considered, even if they were all inevitable, she knew she had needed to expect this. Thankfully it was not the worst thing she had faced lately, so steady in her progress, she went striding to where Arcturus waited.

What she hoped was that her son could be patient (very unlike his father), and know that she saw. There was.. a lot right now. Many hurdles, and very turbulent seas. Keeping her nose above them all was not done easily, or alone--she knew he was there, too.

Ame chuffed for him, noting she did not see Charon yet, but passed a glance over Arcturus that hinted at her worry. She would let him say his share first. He had demanded she come, after all, and she certainly needed to hear more.
amekaze was first to arrive, her soft gaze gliding over him as if to assess him with worry. arcturus bristled under her motherly glance, feeling still the sharp blade of betrayal. he did not know if she too had wished for revui’s ascension, but as a parent and a leader, arcturus assumed her complicit. 

mother, arcturus greeted her, his voice unusually cold. revui is beta. the statement fell from his tongue, a dry, empty remark. his gaze lifted, and the betrayal he felt was plain in his usually sunny eyes, which now were tinged dark with hurt. why? by why, of course he meant ‘why not me, too?’
Ice cold, she thought. He is, she confirmed with a slow nod, and swallowed down her tiredness before she went on. He completed the tasks your father set out in order for him to earn it, she explained, although he likely knew this already. Although it went unsaid, as she had not disagreed with the outcome when they needed some weight to counterbalance all their tumult lately, Charon had probably rushed it a touch--or let Revui rush him, perhaps. That one inkling of a possibility made her suspicious, and maybe if it was so insidious, her knowing to be careful could be worthwhile. Plus he has to prove that he deserves it and that he can in the weeks to come should he intend to keep it that way, she added, for good measure, and in these times of high stress it would be especially pivotal. There was always this stipulation for her. She could strip him of the title just as quickly as he had been given it if pushed.. but he was not her main concern right now, even if this timing was not her favorite.

And you are bothered by this? which was obvious enough as she looked at him, her own ears slanted back. His hurt was palpable, however, and this bothered her. He had done no harm, as well as she knew, and very much the opposite. Perhaps been caught in the crossfires more than he ought to, but who wasn't lately. She sought to understand if this went deeper than some good old Ostrega impatience first.
arcturus did not want his mother’s rationalization, or her explanations. On second thought, he didn’t know what he wanted... maybe to feel as if this had never happened? or, to hear that maybe things were in the works, or that he had not been overlooked or forgotten..

because at the end of the day, no matter what was said or promised, arcturus realized none of it would make it better. none of it would reverse what had happened. he would still be second best — not that it bothered him; truth be told he could have always lived under the thumb of his brother, so long as he felt it was justified..

but in this case, he couldn’t understand it. revui had scarcely been back more than a month, after a long and unexplained absence.. but arcturus had always been here for his family, and to see that his family rewarded that by disregarding him.. of course it stung. 

his mother’s words challenged his irrationality, laying bare that there was still yet much for revui to prove. it did not slake arcturus’ injured sense of self. of course i am bothered. arcturus retorted, feeling he had already lost in some way and that no matter what he said, he had little hope of showing his mother his perspective. 

why wasn’t i good enough? he had a thousand things to say — how he had stayed even when hydra and revui both had disappeared; how he had never strayed once from the mountain or caused his family upset; how he had done everything in his power to be a good brother, a good son, a good packmate — but the power to elucidate his view point faded from him out of pure frustration. instead of eloquence, arcturus suddenly was seized by silence. no matter what he said, he would not win. 

so why even bother?
Of course, she nodded deeply. To a degree, she hoped she understood what it looked like to him. That is not it, she shook her head. He was plenty good--she cherished him deeply, and appreciated aspects about him that she couldn't find in her other sons. This time, Revui simply bit hardest first, she sighed. He probably would not like to hear it, she guessed, but that was the truth of the matter.

Several of her offspring could have made the claim for their newest second (they were all just as entitled as the others, circumstances depending), but as well as she knew, none others but him had made that interest clear yet. Jarilo might have the skills if he ever focused, Lyra's cunning was not to be ignored, and maybe once Vela could have been in contention for a role with the proper grooming.. just to begin there. Arcturus had been a very diligent son and done nothing to slight her, and as far as she was concerned, not forgotten and not overlooked. But be patient, please. It may pay off greater than you realize, the mother said. Not everything had to be done in a hurry. A lot is going on right now, and do not treat it like some end.. she urged him. This was a new potential rift between the brothers that they did not need right now.
be patient, his mother pleaded — but it fell on deaf ears. arcturus was too young to be patient, too full of that juvenile fire to have learned that in nearly all situations, one could usually afford to wait. arcturus was not waiting; the clock strike had fallen, and with it arcturus’ impressions of what his family thought of him. 

he had little else to say; his mind was a whirlwind of unspoken curses and fits, rational speech and slurred words at once — words that would never be uttered because in this moment arcturus’ measured composure had fell away for something hot and flustered. he had already seen how loyalty and service above self paid off; it didn’t. 

with a huff, the boy shook out his dark coat and turned to storm off, much like a teen would steal to their room (and of course slam the door) after an altercation with their parents. frustrated, hurt, and beyond consolation, arcturus believed it his only recourse.
She kept the expectations open-ended, having faced all manner of attitude in her days lately. Here patience was in dramatically short supply for all of them, she knew it was asking a lot, and that he wasn't going to like hearing it now that it was said and done. But, he didn't explode into thousand pieces yet, and didn't launch into the misunderstandings that were also so common here. Not blatantly, and not against her at the very least, but he still wasn't happy--he made that crystal clear, and her heart hurt to see him ache like this when she didn't believe he should feel so down and out. Now if only she could make him understand that.

As he turned away, a storm cloud on his shoulders, she rumbled low back and thought to go after him and force any semblance of an understanding down his throat. But, sensing that he was far too troubled right now to weather such a thing without catastrophe, she stopped after but one step in his direction and watched him go.

Trust me, she willed him, silently, through the grimace she ground her teeth into.. although doubted it was of any real use by now. In the midst of all this chaos, which they really had to get beyond if they all wanted any normalcy to return, this was her only offering. She needed time to make the rest tangible, anyway, and he needed time to cool down his nerves. If they were this frayed over his brother's promotion, then that itself was another danger to navigate--the last thing she wanted.

Quietly simmering herself, she turned away and went back the way she came.