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For @Sarah - but always open.


A howl rose from the forest — Ibis hadn't heard many of the wolves of the Hollow use their voices like that, but she thought she recognized it as Rannoch; he sounded distressed and it sent a nervous thrill along her spine. Wondering what was up, Ibis began to plot a course through the woods. When she came upon the edge of the creek she was briefly distracted, and then began to follow along its irregular bank - but by the time she remembered what she was looking for she'd lost the trail. With a huff she planted her rear end down in the dirt and, sighing dejectedly, felt a swarm of doubts and confusing emotions buzzing in her mind like a wasp's nest.
Odd, how you can share the same apartment with several people for months and never really learn their names or befriend them. But Sarah had just won a gold medal at it. Six months - one friend and two acquaintances. Basta. Therefore to her Rannoch's howl was just a howl, needless to say that she was quite unaware of the dark cloud of looming troubles brewing right above her head. 

On her way to Terance's to see, if she could be of any assistance to him and his family, she happened to cross paths with Ibis. "Hello," she greeted her quietly, approaching the girl from behind.
What was going on? She knew that Rannoch and Liffey had gone on a trip, but nobody really told Ibis anything ever, so she wasn't sure how long they'd been away or where they'd been, nor that they'd arrived home recently. And why would he be so irate? Had something happened? Should she have been more aware of the goings-on of her pack instead of focusing on herself? The thoughts swirled and multipled, and she almost missed the greeting from her friend Sarah as she approached.

Hello, the woman's voice cut through the din of introspection and Ibis shivered, not quite jumping out of her skin but clearly not as attentive as she needed to be. She turned and saw Sarah and slowly, a thin smile dawned upon her pale face. Hi Sarah.

Do you know what's going on? She asked, a worried look swiftly replacing the attempted smile upon her face. It feels like something is wrong, but nobody tells me anything - oh, maybe she was just being too sensitive again. Her ears flattened upon her head and she huffed a little sigh again. Or I'm being weird and sensitive again. I wish I was more like... Like Gannet, or my brother. Hmm.
Now that Ibis told of her suspicions, Sarah could relate to her - she had no idea, what was going on either. Except with the experience that came with age and a long standing leader position, she had learned not to express outright, that she did not know something. On the contrary - she mustered up a face of a person, who is in the process of solving a problem.

As for the second Ibis's inquiry, she half-smiled and for a moment there was a flash of jovial amusement in her eyes. Did the girl have doubts about that? But again - she did not comment on it, because 99.99 times out of 100 people, who ask these kinds of questions, do not wish to hear an honest answer. Quite the contrary - they need someone to lie to soothe their insecurities. Clever and tricky, eh?

"Well, we can always find Terance and get the news from the source?" she suggested. "If anyone's is on top of comings and goings and happenings here, he is our man."
Her suggestion to seek out dad was a good one, but Ibis was nervous to do that. She didn't want to draw too much attention to herself or cause her father to doubt her — who knows how much doubt he held for her now that she was planning on leaving, how hurt he might be feeling, or what Treason might've convinced him to think about her. Ibis wanted to be a proper adult with all the fixings: pride in herself, respect from all the adults, and the love of her parents. It was trickier because Ibis did not consider her step-mother to be her parent; rather, more of a nuisance and a bully.

I... I should find him to apologize, she spoke without thinking, revealing a small amount of her insecurity's source. Sarah probably knew nothing about the little flare-up of attitude that Ibis had displayed nor the argument the little family had. Probably better off if she didn't know, but, Ibis needed comfort - so she sought it within her aunt. When we got back from the trip, I went to tell dad all the news from the packs and -- and sort of got side-tracked. I kind-of blew up on him without meaning to. I.. I don't think he wants to talk to me right now. Her little ears slicked back, then sideways, looking every bit as awkward as she felt.
Sarah listened in silence, giving her full attention to her niece. She wondered, what the argument had been about, knowing only vague facts of her brother's previous marriage that had not ended well, and failing to put two and two together in order to realize that the ghost of that relationship was still haunting him and his children. Perhaps, this was an advantage for her, she could take an objective look at the situation. 

"And I think he is grown up and mature enough to see past honest mistakes made by people, he loves," Sarah replied with the unshaken confidence of a once very devoted sister, who had known her brother well. They were estranged now, but she firmly believed that Terance's good heart had not changed. "Apologize you should though," she added. "It might not come easily, but one apology more will mend more things than one less."
Ibis nodded as she listened to Sarah, her worries not entirely vanishing but at least abating a little. A thin smile perched itself on her face as the conversation focused on her necessary apology and the girl sighed softly, knowing that Sarah was right. It didn't feel like the right time to seek her father out just yet but Ibis would, eventually, and do her best to mend things. The last thing she wanted was to depart the Hollow while her father was still wounded by her words — her mothers had taught Ibis better than that, or so she believed. It had been wrong to go off on Terance the way she did; she was hurt too, and needed to learn how to temper herself, perhaps be more like Treason or -- and this thought was immediately surprising to her -- more like Sarah, who seemed eternally level-headed as well as kind.

You're right, Ibis agrees with another little sigh to punctuate the weight she feels. He is my dad and I love him, and he deserves more than... The overflowing emotion I keep throttling him with. Still, I wish I was better. Colder, maybe. Not so quick to emote, not so easily overwhelmed by the roundabout thoughts in her head. Ibis watched Sarah as she asked, More like you, maybe. You seem so calm all the time, like nothing bothers you. How do you keep your emotions under control? Maybe I'm just young and stupid as well as sensitive - maybe I'll never be able to. I'm, I dunno... More like my mother that way, I guess... Thinking of Seabreeze sobered her up pretty quickly, and Ibis found her thin smile fading to a blank, but somehow grim, expression. She missed her mother so much in that moment.
Sarah did not think that she was worthy of Ibis's praise, but it was nice to feel appreciated. That she had left some sort of impression on the girl and it was almost a positive one. The only thing that smirched that light was the fact that the girl's aunt was aware of, what was going on inside her mind and that this stoic and calm demeanor of hers was not only a personality trait, but also a way to keep herself together. It was a fragile middle ground, which she did not dare to venture far from. 

"You can't change, who you are," Sarah replied. "You will be emotional, you will be sensitive, you will make stupid mistakes and age will have nothing to do with it," she listed the facts, but there was no harshness in her voice. "However, you have taken the first step towards wisdom by admitting that you have flaws. There are many fools in this world, who live out their lives, believing they are god's given gifts, when they are simply pains in the... well, never mind," she had got carried away, though she had a lot more to say on this subject.
You can't change who you are. It sounded so final. At first Ibis was depressed by the pronouncement, but as she listened to Sarah she realized the older wolf was actually making a very valid argument, and it wasn't sad at all. It was sort-of uplifting. Ibis didn't want to think about all of her flaws; she didn't know what parts of her personality were flaws to start with, except that Treason hated her for unknown reasons which Ibis attributed to their differences - and if Treason was stern, serious, business-oriented and some kind of warrior, she likely didn't see any value in Ibis' more passive nature, or her youth, or her imaginative - perhaps airheaded - behavior. If Ibis wanted to be accepted by her step-mother she'd have to change too much, which Sarah said was impossible. It meant they would probably never see eye-to-eye or get along and in knowing that, Ibis felt a little better. She wouldn't have to try so hard.

Ibis smiled to Sarah as she concluded her explanation, giggling softly as she made an implication but didn't finish the thought aloud. The girl understood, and was greatful for the advice. You're right. I have a lot of growing to do. Being on the road with Okeanos will be good for both of us, I think. Thank you Sarah, you're very wise.
Hate was probably a too strong word to describe Treason's attitude to Ibis - Sarah's best guess would have been (if she had known the strained relationship between the step-daughter and Terance's new mate) - that the two were simply too different to have anything in common. With the added weight that the current alpha female had known the girl's mother and had not had a particularly high opinion of her. Come to think of it - Sarah did not understand Ibis much either - and had she not been a member of the family, she would not even have attempted to get to know the girl closer. However, that scouting trip had changed some things - for once - given Sarah a purpose in life again and reminded her that she had once been a guardian and could be such again. Skills had not gone anywhere. 

"Don't mention it," Sarah dismissed the gratitude, feeling that she had not said or done anything spectacular or worth the praise. "You are leaving then? For how long?" she asked under a belief that this was a temporary thing and that she would see her niece again.
Ibis nodded. I am, but... Not sure how long. I'm not really sure when we're going to leave either, but, that would be up to Okeanos. Thinking of her brother, Ibis' mind clicked over to thoughts of her family again and she asked, Have you met him -er, Okeanos? He's gotten very big since I last saw him, and looks a lot like Terance. He's very tall and dark, but not as dark as you are. It occurred to her that Terance was quite a dark fellow, but so was Sarah, which meant that it was Ibis that was the odd-one-out; would her new siblings all be some shade of black too? Or a mottled brown? Treason was pretty pale in spots, hmm. These thoughts caused her to go quiet for a bit, giving Sarah a chance to reply.
"No, I have not," Sarah shook her head. If the nephew was just as fairies-rainbows-unicorns as Ibis, then she had no interest in meeting him. One kid of his brother's, who was walking few feet above the ground with her head in the clouds, was enough. On the other hand, she would like to see him just once, in order to see any resemblance to any of her nuclear family. 

"What is he like?" she asked then in order to reassure herself that Ibis was leaving with a sensible person and not an idiot.

They spoke for a while, then they found Terance and Sarah excused herself hurriedly. This was the last time she saw and met Ibis.