For a short time, the Redleaf-DiSarinno youth had gone through a few of the stages of grief. Denial had come first, and then rage—she remembered with some humiliation the way she had freaked out at Blue and Ty—and then something resembling delirium. The youth had imagined so clearly that Junior was beside her, a friend of her imagination, that for a time she lost her grip on the real world.
That, too, had passed. No longer did Saēna imagine Junior. She had been forced by the passage of time to accept that the Alpha pup was no longer alive, and would never be returning to the Plateau. She hadn't made amends with Blue Willow yet and, despite herself, she was frightened of Tytonidae's spacey attitude about things. Even though she was old enough now to know right from wrong and to feel guilt for her actions, Saēna continued avoiding them.
She avoided others as well. She avoided the rendezvous site fervently, and therefore managed to keep away from Pura and Peregrine and Hawkeye. Any who came across her often looked at her with pity, but she didn't notice it. She often left their presences immediately, and went into hiding again.
Today, with rain pelting the plateau relentlessly, was one of the first days Saēna ventured out. She was lonely in her subconscious, whether or not she herself admitted it, and needed the company and comfort of her family and her peers. She paced around the edge of the rendezvous site, a picture of grace, for despite her youth, she was already beginning to very closely resemble her deceased mother.
Blue watched from a distance always over the little children that she had come to care for. Her own little lovelings that flittered and skittered around the haze of the grief filled plateau. She saw the way some of them took to the death Pura with indifference, Ty with fantasy and poor little Saena with a little bit of all 3. She had been angry and sad and then fantasy and lost to them for a short time. But much like Perry she had begun to slowly unfurl from that terrible self crippling demise.
Blue Willow did not blame the child for screaming at her the day she found the bones. She could not imaging the soul crushing grief the child must have felt, being both a sister and a subordinate. having a worship hate love relationship with the princess of the plateau. However, it had cut Blue to the quick, but she had kept it quiet suffering in silence she did not wish to add more to the already burdened child or Perry.
Blue stopped by the rendezvous site. She saw Saena passing as small rain drizzled down as if to wipe the land free of sin. She sat down a little ways away, but did not speak. She would let Saena come to her on her own if she wanted, or she would let her hide again if she wished too.
She walked laps around the rendezvous site without end, sometimes pausing for a brief instant to gaze outward as though she might break away and run until her legs stopped moving and she was as lost as Junior was. She had never felt a temptation so strong, yet she was tethered to the plateau, and even the thought of crossing over that threshold and fleeing from it all made her heart skip a beat. She would die if she did that, and though she was still quite young, Saēna was coming to intimately understand the limitations of death.
As she made a pass around where the others were hanging out, her eyes snagged on Blue Willow, sitting some short distance away and watching her. If one or the other spoke, they would likely be heard, but the intimacy was not there. The mottled cub stopped her walk, maintaining her distance from the Alpha female and staring blankly back. It wasn't meant to be a cold expression, yet it seemed that way.
At length, she came back to the very issue that had prompted her to scream at Blue Willow the other day. “Why did you take her side,” she flatly asked, sounding much older than she really was in light of the grief and torment they had all been through lately. The emphasis was sharp and pointed, and the word tainted with a recently discovered distaste, leaving no doubt who Saēna was referring to.
blue's heart tightened and fell a little bit at the girls gaze. It was not cold or crass, but it was devoid of emotion and that within itself broke her heart a little bit. She did not want the sweet child to hate her, but it seemed at least to her that was how it was. She sighed softly and blinked quickly to hide the tears that threatened to fall, she had not meant to hurt her feelings and it bothered her that she had caused harm rather than healing.
Blue blinked and spoke softly But Saena i didn't I simply told her that we had to bring Junior back and that yes we had been lookign for Junior surely not that she was alive. Everyone has their own way of dealing with grief and we must remember that. Ty's way is to pretend it isn't there. Blue hoped she could convey the understand to the girl, she had no prior experience to base this conversation on.
When Blue Willow claimed she didn't take Tytonidae's side, Saēna's face puckered. The girl had heard what she'd heard, and what she'd heard was that the Alpha female had undeniably supported Ty's lunacy. She had been berated for trying to put Ty in her place... Where so many times, Blue Willow hadn't bothered stepping in when the other pups did the same thing to her. It was irrefutable proof that the Alpha female hated her, in her immature eyes.
“She lied!” shrieked Saēna, who had always been told that lying was not right. Ty had lied, at least in her mind, and Blue Willow had gone ahead and validated that lie. She was too young to understand that sometimes, wolves needed to lie for various reasons, and that in Ty's case it was unintentionally done. She saw only her sister being a huge liar, and Blue Willow letting her.
“You let them hit me all the time,” she accused suddenly with burning eyes, referring to all the other pups, who had for her entire life constantly put her in her place, “then got mad at me when I hit her!”
I will weep for blue if saena hates her
Blue saw the look and she wanted to cry, she bowed her head working hard to explain to her what she could and then she spoke softly Sometimes saena you cannot argue with someone else about something like death, it can cause even more pain than they already have. I did what i had to do at the time and I am sorry that it upset you. She sighed then her heart hurting.
Blue looked at Saena in rebuke and she spoke sharply, I did not let them hit you Saena, I did not think it was my place to correct anyone since I am merely an aunt. I told Peregrine about it and there were times that I separated you if you remember, and usually Saena they hit you when i was not there, it was not my fault i never caught them, but I would never let anyone hit you if i knew it was happening. And if she had known the extent of the bullying she owuld have intervened, but the simple fact was she hadn't been there all the time, she had merely been there at other times and didn't see how bad it really was. I'm sorry Saena that I wasn't there when you needed me. Most of what she said would probably be too hard for the girl to grasp, but she didn't know how to make it anymore simplistic.
She'll get over it someday. She's just throwing a hissy fit.
Blue Willow said her name and, in accordance with her usual melodramatic attitude, she took it to mean she was about to be lectured. Which, naturally, she was. The girl heaved a very loud and obnoxious sigh, rolling her eyes and glaring at the ground. The Alpha female wasn't even listening to her, and just kept justifying the way she'd acted, which was wrong in Saēna's world.
You let her lie and you told her she was right,
the indignant child repeated, turning her glare on the Alpha. You're a big fat liar just like her!
Any semblance of respect for a leader was gone, but then, she was only nearing her fourth month of age, and couldn't be expected to follow the rules all the time. As far as she was concerned, Blue Willow had brought this on herself.
The straw broke when Blue Willow claimed it wasn't her right to step in. Saēna puffed up like a pissed off cat. After all, it wasn't really about the way she'd been treated by her peers, but rather, about the backlash she'd received for lashing out just once, as if somehow she was less privileged than the others. You don't do it to anyone else because you're unfair!
she accused in a scream, lashing her tail. If you can't tell them to stop then you can't tell me to either!
She knew—or believed she did, even if she really didn't—that if the roles had been reversed, and Ty had come along and hit her for being a moron, Blue Willow wouldn't have done a damn thing.
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I had a hard time answering this one, and I still am not happy with my reply, but I wasn't sure how Blue would react being that she wouldn't want to upset the girls already delicate disposition but she also would not go for the blatant disrespect :(
Blue saw the girls attitude and something in the black colored woman broke. She was tired of this nonsense from all the children. Yes they were young, but all of them acted with the exception of frankly Pura and Ty who were both so spacy she honestly didn’t know if they could even act entitled. But Junior and Saena certainly did and she was sad and she was tired and now she was angry and she just had enough.
Blue reared up on all four paws and looked down at Saena and spoke sharply but quietly Saēna Virtúte that is enough! I did not allow her to lie, we were looking for junior we were and that is what she said. I am sorry that you think I was being unfair but now you are, and I will not have it! Blue strode forward and looked down at the girl furious and hurt.
You sit there Saena and tell me I am unfair for not stepping in when I was needed, when I didn’t know it was happening except from what I saw. I understand that you are hurt and you feel that I have treated you unfairly, but that does not give you the right or even the fortitude to treat me as badly as you are. You need to mind your manners child or I will mind them for you. She let loose a small growl, letting the girl know she meant business. I will stop them if I see it, but if I do not see it Saena I can do nothing about it. Now stop this arguing and your sulking it is extremely unbecoming.
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“You saw it lots,” she accused, her eyes burning with agitation. Saēna wasn't wrong—there had been many instances where Junior scapegoated her and put her in her place, even though she hadn't done anything to deserve a reminder of it, and Blue had even been there some of those times. At the time, the young daughter of Pied hadn't known that Peregrine, Hawkeye, Atticus, and Blue Willow all called it “the way of things” and didn't consider it hitting at all, so Blue Willow's response only solidified Saēna's sudden strong belief that the Alpha was nothing but a massive liar.
“You are 'sposed to be a teacher and teach us the right stuff,” she said hotly, drawing on a mixture of impressive innate knowledge for a three month old as well as her own immature anger, “you were 'sposed to tell Ty she's dead because she is but you didn't, you pra-eesed her for being stupid.” Blue Willow was playing it off as though what Saēna was talking about was their search for Junior, in her opinion. It was likely in an attempt to circumvent the youth's impending explosion, but intelligence was all that Saēna had to her name. She knew she was talking about Ty referencing Osprey Jr. being alive, and not the fact that they were looking for her, and having to clarify that made her even angrier.
Before Blue Willow could physically punish her for her insolence and disobedience, something that would undoubtedly last for the rest of Blue Willow's reign seeing as she would shortly pass her title to another, Saēna turned on her heel and ran. She ran hard, that the Alpha could not catch her and force her into submission like everyone else always had.
Blue willow stood in surprised and sad silence, unsure how to proceed, but before she even could think of what to say or heal the hurt she had unknowingly caused Saena ran. She watched as she ran, her long little legs tearing up the ground and Blue sat down with a thump and bowed her head. And for the first time in her life, she thought perhaps she shouldn’t have children. She may ruin their life, just as she apparently ruined the young girls now running fast away from her.
Blue sighed and stood swiftly to her feet, shaking her large head to get rid of the thoughts that threatened to cripple her. She remembered a few times she had run from her parents in upset or anger and even fear, but they had been good parents and she supposed it was a way of things, and besides why worry about things that may never happen anyway.
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