update: she was... she was trying to eat my bed frame...
bhediya paced frantically between the aspens. there was too much (
too much!) and yet not enough; too many options, she thought, but none of them viable. concern was clear on her face as she marched from one spot to the next, that familiar ball of emotion growing in her throat.
not now, not now.
she reminded herself of where she was.
home. bhe counted each step that she took in an effort to ground herself, to stabalize her mind. the sun was shining high above but all that she could see was her failure.
-2°C, currently it is snowing and set during the day. Located in Rising Sun Valley, emberwood | ooc notes: this one only made sense since their last thread's ending lmao i also loved your cat updates with every new thread xD
Winter had finally come! The snow was sticking to the ground and it lifted the young girl's spirits. She had covered the herb den once more before leaving to keep the things as dry as possible and headed out for a walk in the snow. There was only a thin layer upon the ground but as the scenery slowly filled with white, it equally filled her heart with joy.
But a sight had turned her smile to something with a little more concern. Bhediya looked like she was in a state, the stress clear on her face as the pacing was alarming enough already!
Lady Bhediya, is everything alright?
She approached the dark woman cautiously, calmly, gingerly with every care she could muster.
reiko's words were muffled and consequently ignored. bhediya continued on her path from left-tree to right, right-tree to left, left-tree...
although her nostrils were flared and breaths frequent, it took a moment to detect the medic's scent. bhe looked up, still moving, but stopped once she processed the girl's question. is everything alright? she'd asked.
maintaining her silence (and a discreet jig) bhe looked helplessly at her companion.
Her words didn't seem to go through - Bhediya just held onto that same look in her eye, the way she stood and acted. She couldn't be certain without some communication, but she took a wild guess. A panic attack perhaps? Chamomile and lavender had died long ago in summer, same with passionflower and all kinds of other flowers and herbs that were her usual remedy for these things... she had to work with what she had.
Stay here.
Trying to level her eyes with Bhediya's, she tried to communicate with her to stay right there whether she could hear the medic or not. Running off, Reiko turned back a couple of times to try and make sure the woman did as instructed and ran off to her little stash to take a look at what she had.
No... No... No... Ah ha!
Mint! It was one of the few that could calm tense muscles, it was the best she had for the moment.
Quickly with some leaves softly held in her teeth, she went to find the dark woman again... hopefully, she stayed as told. Noki is going to assume she did just because otherwise, Bhed's writer won't have much to use for a reply. She can always change the post later if not! Here, chew on this.
She offered, trying to poke at the dark woman's mouth with the tip of the leaves. It was a little intimate, but she couldn't be certain Bhed would listen to those instructions.
bhediya didn't realize that she'd forgotten to breathe until finding reprieve with an inhale. the quivering was constant, as was the tingling around her mouth. the tunnel vision was beginning to fade, though she found that the world was still a blurred mess.
yes, she stood still, but not by her own volition. reiko left and bhe's body froze in response, completely unable to move despite her efforts. this...panic, it was unfamiliar and uncomfortable. one could only guess how long she'd been stuck.
without protest, bhediya opened her mouth and accepted reiko's offering. she was beginning to feel light-headed but managed to stay upright, finding the girl's presence to be as helpful as any. still unable to speak, she stared and waited.
Still, Bhediya was silent, she at least began to chew on the herb which was a good sign! A great sight! It wouldn't do as much as something more suitable for panic, but it would work for now with some support. Lay down. We don't need you falling over.
She moved around Bhediya to try and press her nose against her hips and eventually her forelimbs to try and coax her into laying down. Most wound up light-headed and confused during an attack, or even after once the adrenalin had ceased.
She would simply keep trying to gently encourage the black woman to lay down without forcefully doing so, should it all fail, she would simply press herself up against her as physical support. It was better than nothing at least. How are you feeling now?
She would ask, hoping for a response this time to see if Bhediya was finally finding her senses or if she needed just a little longer.
One thing was certain, she wouldn't bombard her with questions for now. There was no need to confuse or crowd her thoughts further by trying to answer anything other than one at a time, simple "how are you doing" questions.
it was as though this body belonged to someone else and bhediya was being forced to play the part of bystander. she was on the verge of unconsciousness; reiko came to urge her onto the ground, but ended up being used as a support beam. the toppling was sloppy, disorganized, and soon enough, bhe had completely collapsed onto the earth.
there hadn't been enough oxygen getting to her brain. bhe wouldn't (and couldn't) have known this, but that's what it was. having held her breath for so long sent her body into shut-down mode.
so, it took a moment for her to wake back up. bhediya's eyes fluttered open. the faint tingling remained around her mouth and paw pads. there was no more tunnel vision, but the scene was still groggy and almost incomprehensible. there was reiko, her voice like that of a ghost — how are you feeling now? — being the last thing bhe heard before drifting out of consciousness once more.
after the second time, she was awake. her heart felt heavy against the walls of her chest, beating slowly but with an unfamiliar force. she opened her mouth to speak but said nothing; what could she have said?
It seemed her assumptions were true, she could feel the small woman's body begin to falter and eventually fall. All Reiko could do was try to make the fall as gentle as possible so she didn't hit her head or cause physical wounds to deal with on top of whatever was going on behind the scenes. Once Bhediya was on the ground, Reiko laid at her side. Watchful of both their surroundings and on the dark woman herself. She would simply lay there quietly, offering her own body for warmth and comfort until the woman would regain consciousness.
She wasn't even aware that Bhediya had quickly regained her consciousness. Being in no rush, she simply remained and would continue to do so patiently. What would she tell someone should they walk by and see the scene? A group nap maybe? A companion for naptime? Maybe she could lie and say Bhediya was just having trouble sleeping and herbs helped sooth that. Never the less, Reiko simply waited until Bhediya was ready, listening to the chickadees in the distance as they enjoyed the snow themselves.
bhediya wished that she'd been alone. don't tell anyone
, she whispered, knowing that reiko would hear. it was harder to keep a secret with more than one mouth to control.
worrying ibis was her main concern. she'd become like a daughter to the scout; keeping her happy, allowing her to flourish, that's what she wanted. thinking about pygmalion and what he might do, well, bhediya simply chose not to.
thank you, though.
she felt reiko's heart beat rhythmically against her back.
Finally, Bhediya spoke. Tall ears shifted to meet her words, only to be met with the bright cyan eyes and a simple curve of the lips. Tell them what? We were just talking, between us girls.
She said as her smile grew with every word, brushing off the event just as Bhediya wanted judging by her request.
We don't need to talk about it, but I am always here if you want to talk, okay?
and she left it at that. For now, she would just simply remain as some kind of companion, if Bhediya decided to walk away then the session would be over; but she would not turn her back on Bhediya until the scout felt it was time to move on.
Perhaps eventually Bhediya would understand Reiko's honesty in that sentiment, that they didn't have to be strangers and that her ears were always open to listen. But she would never pry, perhaps that was her downfault, feeling as if asking as imposing and forcing herself on others - maybe that is why she felt so lonely ever since leaving the North.
for a moment, bhediya's brow was furrowed with offense. reiko likely meant no harm by the offer of consolation, but it still rubbed her the wrong way. it made her feel incompetent, as though a counselor was not prone to the same ailments as their patient and the very insinuation of such was a question of her position.
but bhediya knew that that wasn't what reiko meant, so she replied with a simple, okay.
by then, she'd garnered enough strength to pull herself onto all fours. a wobble, but then she stood straight, tail wagging slowly behind her. i should get back to work
, she whispered. bhe turned her eyes to the ground and made her exit.
For a moment she felt as if she did good! She was helpful even! But as the woman spoke, her tone, the way she walked away - it left the young woman feeling rather empty, as if what she did or said was wrong. Something went wrong, she could feel it in her stomach. She felt a smile on her face while watching Bhediya walk away, only for it to immediately fade once left alone.
Her posture fell, curving slightly while a sigh escaped her. Even her ears fell softly, no longer standing at attention. With a pit forming in her stomach, the young medic got up and walked herself back to her herbs - this pack feeling less and less like that of Kaistleoki and while everyone else seemed to be mingling well, making friends, Reiko felt as though she was falling through the cracks. It was simply one encounter, perhaps it was all in her head - and yet, that feeling grew. Festered.
Like an infection.