The bushes slowly parted to reveal the reason she came back; all the thoughts and feelings she wanted to share with her vanished. Oh, but how beautiful her pale fur shone under the moonlight! Was she a moonstone from the quarry, or was she a true living being in front of her? Golden gaze lingered on her as the duck entered the clearing with the skin she carries around.
Agana did not move an inch when Kukutux approached her. Her small, frail body carried not only the skin, but some other objects she was unaware of. Did she think of redecorating? Golden gaze glanced at her, but did not dare to speak. When she lifted her jadestone gaze to face her, she remained, once again, speechless.
She couldn’t speak; words stung her neck to fly out, but she did not dare open her jaws. Of course, she did not think this out too well; now she is here, and what will she say to her? After all the duck was the one that leaned onto her, but was it wrong that she accepted it? Maybe she shouldn’t have, maybe it was wrong. Golden gaze could no longer keep up to hers, so she glanced down, ashamed.
they said nothing to one another; gold capitulated first, and in it kukutux felt she had her answer.
heart ached as she stepped past agana into the den, leaving the pelt at the door. she busied herself preparing a meal for both of them from their meager stores.
tears threatened to sting her eyes, but the duck willed them back through fierce will and brought agana the leg of a pheasant that still sparkled with ice crystals.
"i go out into the mountains to pray tomorrow," kukutux murmured, head bowed over her own meal. she was desperate for anything to fill the silence between them, even the emptiness of words that she could just as well leave unsaid. agana would not mind that she meant to leave again; had not the mink avoided her this long?
The sound of her voice was music to her ears. How ashamed she was for not making the first step; she stood there, and did nothing but consume the air, like a coward she was. She wanted to scream and shout, and scream, and shout, from the bottom of her lungs, but all she made out was another icy breath, that made her look as a cloud-breathing dragon.
The duck left into the den and bought her some food, which she immediately began chewing on. Covered in ice crystals, it did not make her job any easier, so she raised her head and decided to let it for a while. Golden gaze turned to the duck; but she did not like to refer her as ‘a duck’; she was a rare pearl from the seas, a precious moonstone that shone brighter than the moon herself.
“May I…” she began, almost a whisper, “join you?” Agana was not aware of her customs, or the way they prayed, but would do anything to spend more time with her. But praying was not the reason she came here; and to prove to herself she was not a coward, she leaned a little onto her direction, golden faze focused on her jadestone eyes.
“This is not why I came here,” she spoke, heavily breathing, heart racing like the rapids of the Gorge she saved her from not long ago, but her lips pursed before she could say anything else. She stood, waiting for her to speak as she glanced to the meal she bought to her.
she swallowed, coughed a bit in surprise as agana asked after coming with her. kukutux had meant to be alone, to mourn her dead in solitude for a day of fasting and silence.
she was not certain how she might convey this to her companion, but was summarily distracted by the intensity of the sungilded gaze that sought her own.
the duck could not find proper words; her eyes drew away, then climbed back to those of her denmate. something unspoken hovering between them, something she had begun to kill, to puncture with bone knives, to deflate.
she needed a husband, one as gentle and traditional as the seal-killer had been. then perhaps these feelings might subside; with children to suckle and a man to please, kukutux, surely, could be content with her purpose.
she bit her lip.
"why have you come?" she must know, she must, she must.
apologies for messy and late response !
warning: prepear to have your heart broken.
No answer to her question; Agana knew very well it was an absolute no, but it was worth a try. And she knew, no matter how right it felt, how lovely her touch was, she needed to let go and accept the fact it was wrong. The grey female turned away in shame, as she could no longer see the duck with the same eyes anymore.
She could not help but think about the precious moment they shared; and she remembered how the duck immediately left her, maybe to gather things for her prayers. Agana remained alone and silent, eyeing her as she padded away, a blank expression on her face; she did not cry at the time, but would experience several sleepless nights in which she would wonder what went wrong.
Malena said, she did, oh she did; she said it was wrong, that it should remain forgotten that moment; and Agana did not listen. Her mind drifted away to the day they met, when the duck fell into the rapids and how she came to the rescue. They have been companions ever since, they have even been denning together, something entirely new to her.
Jade and golden gaze met, the grey female shifting her weight nervously at the thought of her precious, soft lips on her. Agana shook her head, and parted her lips to speak. “To tell you I do not wish to ruin our companionship because of one foolish gesture.” It broke her harder to hear those words out loud. She wanted to cry, scream and shout; instead, she remained silent and composed, golden gaze never leaving her companion.
;;;;
foolish; it reverberated wildly inside the duck's psyche before clattering to a halt upon her heart.
agana's admission clutched kukutux with pain; she swallowed, knowing now that if the gilded one spoke the inner words of her heart, surely it was wrong. surely it must be.
lips trembled; the girl steadied herself and nodded. "i would not want to lose your friendship." saltwater rose behind her eyes, threatening to drown the last ember of affection, but she busied herself with the food once more.
the memory of their kiss clung with limpet strength to the walls of her mind. no matter what agana had said, no matter that this would be the end of the formless thing that had occurred, the sense of purity remained.
a single tear stained her muzzle: she frowned and blinked it away, turning back to agana with a gentler expression. "it is good to have you back."
heart reeled in agony.