Everything was in bloom or was in the process of opening their petals to the new world. She was always in love with the smell of new vegetation, the heady cocktail of flowers and
green but that was not the only thing clouding her mind. Pale champagne eyes swept over the flowering trees that her mother always called
dogwood, a funny name that. Their faded blush and ivory petals falling like rain when the breeze hit them, she was drawn to them as she tried to avoid the feeling of burning deep within her.
Oh how she tried to ignore it. With a shake of her head she let her body sag against the rich bark of the tree, closing her eyes to block out the shiver that wanted to make her body collapse to the ground. Should she let it? Again she shook her head and began to think of memories, times when her mother groomed her under cherry blossoms that were more vibrant than these tiny dogwood petals. Calling her her little cherry blossom, lacing the blooms in her fur.
Her body quaked as the smallest of breezed sent a shiver down her spine, that was the wind that did that right? The young flower remained standing, despite how her legs wanted to collapse. This was difficult, having to ignore a feeling that wanted to threaten her with a fire she never experienced before. Was it like this for everyone?
She fell back into the memory she chose earlier, the one where she imagined that the wind was her mother's tongue caressing her fur in relaxing strokes. It was calming, it felt nice but the memory did not remain when his scent came without rhyme or reason. Her nostrils flared as she turned around, she was not thinking. Pale lashes fluttered, pink champagne eyes opened as she gave her friend a rather shy smile. Had she not wanted him to find her, he was the only one that seemed to understand that she never wanted to be alone.
He asked what was wrong and she shook her head, keeping her tail down rather than swaying in a friendly banner-like fashion.
"Yuu.. I" Her voice cut off as she realized she had began to close the distance between them, how had that happened?
"Oh.."
She heard her name and it caused her to give a soft cooing sound in response, it was such a rich sound coming from him. She continued to let her delicate paws eat up the distance between them, she had not even thought about what this could mean or what this would do. Only when her name came out with more of a stern quality did she register something could be wrong, when he took a few ridges steps away from her. She had never seen him react that way to her.
His eyes dropped,
dropped from hers. He was looking at the ground, did he not want to look at her? She finally halted her movements, allowing his words to register in her mind.
"But you are here, i am safe around you." She spoke softly, her voice taking a silk-like quality. Then she stated the truth because she knew this.
"You have never looked at me in that way, no matter how badly i have wanted you to." What was she saying, why was she saying these things? Her heart picked up as she own gaze dropped. She shook her head from side to side, no, she had to say something else. There was no way that actually came out of her mouth, no, she had to have said that in her head.
Noo, no, no, [/i]NO![/i] The words had fallen from her lips, they were not something that was at a higher volume in her head. She shook her head at his answer, her ears fell against her skull. Everything about her seemed to deflate but she did not understand why, she knew this is he felt. She was nothing but his charge, a burden given to him by her brothers when they asked hm to look out for her, to protect her. Well, they were dead now. She knew, she felt that they were no longer of this world so his obligation was over. They had found their true empress, someone they both loved. He loved her right?
She shook her head again as she blinked back the moisture in her eyes.
"No," Her voice almost as soft as a whisper..
"I don't deserve you." He was not less than her, she was less than him. As he said, he was a samurai, he at least had a job. She was a healer but she could not protect anyone, she could not fight.
"See.." She lifted her eyes to him, a sad smile on her lips
"I'm safe with you, i am nothing to you but a charge, a friend.. a silly girl you have to watch so she doesn't get hurt. "
Her name came more sharply, his height always towering over her seemed more so in her sorrow.
That’s not what I meant but wasn't it? She was a silly girl, a child with one sided feeling for more than one wolf. Then more words registered and all she could do is stare at him, the puzzle pieces were finally being placed against those they belonged with. She meant more to him than than? She shook her head, no, she was hearing things, the things she wanted him to say.
She was a strong and intelligent healer, nah, that was not right. She was weak, of mind and of body. Smart, ha, then why was she so stupid at this? She had not noticed that he was stepping closer even though her eyes were fixated on him, this.. wait.. what? Her eyes refocused as she heard his words, they finally clicked in her no so intelligent mind. He cared for her, he
care for her? She simply stared, trying to form the words she wanted to say but they were as slow as molasses at the bottom of a jar.
"Yuudai.. I.." She swallowed, trying to clear the thickness that coated her tongue. Why couldn't she speak, why was this the time her mouth decided to not work.
He cared for her, he repeated it. It was not an admission of love but it was something, a rather shy but warm smile caem to her lips as she nodded to let him know she did hear him but now he wanted her to return to her den. Staying curled up in her home did not sound like the best situation, all she could do was think but she did not want to worry him.
"I love you" she whispered as she looked away from him, barely audible for anyone's ears much less his. Maybe it was quiet enough. Her cheeks were burning but this timeshe spoke louder
"I dont want to, but if it will help.. I will return to my den" this time she