now merrick turned dire delicious thoughts toward
@Ico. despite what the doctor had said about the entire world in ursus soon to change, the boy decided not to concern himself.
"i don't give a fuck," merrick chirped to no one in particular, punctuating his own words as he searched for the silken little cherub born into blood upon his arrival in bearclaw.
Ico had not returned to the spot on the riverside since that darkling night. Having been warned before joining the pack that Ursus was unafraid of blood or death, he had subconsciously been ready for such an event and had steeled himself, apparently untraumatised. But he was scared that the trespassing black wolf might return, and his fear was likely well-founded; the shadowy stranger had been wild and irrational, but, unlike the other wild and irrational beasts in these lands, he was not on Ico's side.
But fear was not something to hide from; it was something to face. And so he left the confines of his mostly-fallen maple tree, intending to return to that riverside. But Ico was interrupted halfway there, and lowered his elfin body in quiet submission as soon as the sooty phantom slunk easily into view.
Hullo Merrick.
"hello, little fox," merrick purred, flashing a wide grin at the young seraph. "how have you been settling into ursus?" not waiting for ico, assured that the boy would step to his side, merrick put the now-common fluting energy in his belly to work.
long limbs carried him in a leisurely but focused gait. he was searching for fieldmice. he had thought a good deal about astara's burden, and had determined a plan that he shared with no one. it satisfied merrick, however — he turned his eye back to his snowy companion. "have you decided what you might like to do here?"
Ico fell into step alongside his liege, his movement swifter and tread softer as he kept up with the larger man. I think I've settled in well, thanks
, he responded gently, still not confident to banish "I think" from this opinion. I've found a den and I've been helping Evien with herb runs.
The healer in question had already surreptitiously trained the boy to say he was being helpful rather than being used.
I'd definitely like to keep assisting him as best I can
, he was then able to respond when Merrick asked what he'd like to do, relieved that something had sprung to mind so swiftly. But there was something else too. And... well... I'd love to keep gathering the stories of the Ursus wolves and tell its history as it grows. Though I'm not... not sure how helpful that is.
evien. he drew others to him as no one else. no one, save merrick. the sustainability of that arrangement was coldly analyzed by the boy's ever-burning brain. his mask was tight about his face, but perhaps the good doctor pulled it off, drew out of merrick the things he did not wish to say.
more control, then, and he would focus upon gaining it.
deal with the rest at another time.
"evien is definitely the one for that. and i can help you with the stories," merrick grinned, pleased for the change. "ursus already has so many, and we are still growing."
Ico's brand of courage came not from physical prowess, a death wish or a yearning for risk, but from sheer curiosity. If he didn't possess some semblance of bravery, he'd never learn anything worth knowing. And so he posed a question, albeit in a respectful tone, that may or may not rub Merrick up the wrong way. Could you tell me a little about the bears? And how you came to have this... affinity with them.
He'd yet to meet a bear (at least one that wasn't masquerading as a tittering encroacher), but they were afoot in Bearclaw Valley, precisely as the shadow-king desired. Ico just didn't know why... but he very much wanted to.
a feral grin unspooled across merrick's jaws. "i came across one who was dying once," he breathed, a great reverence shimmering in his cyclops stare. "it died. it bled to death. i stood in its blood and felt its spirit come into me." aware of how that sounded, but uncaring, the bearwolf closed his eyes, remembering the sharp jolt of heat that had burned his his chest.
"i came back to where i was born because the bears called me back. i belong here. i never should have left. but now i am home." would that satisfy ico? he did not know, but the spirit whispered, and merrick could only listen.
Looking up at Merrick wide-eyed as they walked, it was a wonder Ico didn't stumble into a rabbit hole or catch a passing bramble. He was more surefooted than he knew, distracted as he was by his dark liege's story, and able to picture it in all its visceral truth.
It sounds a little like a happening back where I'm from; Walnut Grove
, he recalled quietly. It was said that one of my ancestors — I think great-grandmother — imbued a spirit when she was young. While out hunting beyond the lake, she came across an elder lone wolf on his last legs. He was weather-beaten and delirious, with blood-shot eyes, and he wore exotic old feathers in his fur; but he hadn't the voice to relate his stories. She stood with him for thirteen hours until he passed. After that she was weirder and wiser, and seemed to know intimate details about faraway places, details that the elder had not conveyed. To be with a creature as it dies... I think that's an act of tremendous strength and magnanimity that comes with its own... well, its own kind of magic.
merrick closed his eye, letting his paws find the familiarity of the land as he listened to ico's velvety little voice. he truly had some force within him, and when the boy's half-shuttered gaze reopened, it was to look with a new affection at the boy.
"and thirteen is an important number. you're right, completely right."
could ico be a prophet?
he licked the dry edges of his mouth, suddenly pensive and cunning.
"it does not sound like you fear death," merrick observed vaguely, half-breathless. "i don't either. what do you think is beyond that curtain?"
Thirteen — an important number? Ico did not know this, but stored it away as something to notice as he roamed through the world. As for not fearing death... he supposed he must do to some extent, for he had tried so hard to secure survival after his birthpack had cast him out. Further to that, death might bring about oblivion, and oblivion would forbid him from absorbing more histories, devising more tales. But that wasn't fear, was it? That was just getting really quite cross at the concept of having to abandon his learnings.
The ivory youth finally tore his gaze from Merrick to look at the long grass ahead, so he might muse on the profound question put to him. There must be a great many things; perchance even an infinity of things
, he replied gently. Everything could be the same as nothing, after all. It must vary from creature to creature. Evidently it was the fate of your bear to pass something of themselves onto you after their death. Perhaps the spirits of others go nowhere; they may even remain on this plane, watching. But I don't think I've had an encounter with a ghost
, he added thoughtfully. They probably have other things to do than chitchat with some silly little fellow like me.
What do you think lies beyond death?
"you are so far from silly, ico," merrick muttered, not wanting to hear the pale little sylph say nonsense about himself. "you have come to this pack of-of-of ... fighters. killers. madmen. and you only ask our stories in return." a young scribe on a battlefield, penning an anthem to the rush of blood.
he clacked his jaws, cleared his throat.
"i want —"
a chuckle.
"when you think of the bears here, what do you hear, ico?" single eye, burning toward his companion. "do you hear them whisper?" because. "because sometimes they tell me i'm going to die, and other times, they say i'm only going to come back. so i have no idea what's beyond it."
Ico might've blushed when told he was not silly, as if to have an insult contradicted was to be complimented. To Ico, it was. Merrick was a rather otherworldly being in his eyes, and to be perceived by him with an inkling of respect was to be seen in a whole new light. And Merrick was right; Ico had joined Ursus not just to survive but to give and receive stories. Yes some might be a little mad, but Hatters weave a ripping yarn.
When asked if he heard the bears, Ico looked around subtly as he walked, slender ears a-twitching. And no, he couldn't hear them... though sometimes he could smell them, and once he thought he saw one in the reflection of the river. But hang on, Merrick had not asked an empirical question.
When I think of the bears, I hear you
, he admitted, and it was true. More than any bear, Merrick was the soul he associated most with the ursine. And I think mystery in this case is no bad thing. It's like my ancestor said — the woman who'd absorbed the spirit of the elder — for all her knowledge, she said she knew not what lay beyond life's curtain. Only that immortality is possible through the passing of spirits... and I think it's possible through the passing of stories too. If another were to share the story I've told, why, she could live forever.
merrick felt a slow shocking grief steal over him. to be seen as a bear and not himself. in the next moment, however, it had faded into pleasure and awe, and he could not keep the tremble from his voice. "you bless me."
immortality through word.
it could be done. already merrick felt connected to the wizened elder of which ico had told him. he breathed in a tear-stained sigh, cleared roughness from his throat.
"i wonder if there could also be immortality through flesh," he mused, thinking of the poisons he had asked from evien.
"perhaps one could achieve that as well."
Ico felt humbled at Merrick's breathless reception of his words, and the ivory boy blinked away bashfully — now looking upon a craggy hillside he'd never seen before. It was funny — when speaking to someone like Merrick, the rest of the world paled, and Ico oft forgot he was walking through anything at all.
The distraction of his company redoubled at Merrick's next words. Ico meant a very figurative mortality, through tales and histories; and a spiritual immortality where such things were possible. Ico knew Merrick knew that... but the older lad took it to another level, a concept that hit Ico with mild alarm. He wished he could reply with something wise, but all he could do was seek clarification; immortality through flesh? What do you mean?
merrick did not know of what he spoke, only that his body seemed hale and resilient despite all he had undergone. he was stone enough for this world. why could he not turn his eyes toward the next? "i think of death as a grand experiment to follow life," he told ico giddily, scarcely recognizing his own voice.
it was as if the bear opened his jaws worked his vocal cords spiraled laughter from his throat at the impossibility of it all.
but perhaps it was not so unheard of.
"i wonder if there is life after death. or if you come back," he went on, hinting at the truth of what he meant.
Ico was quietly relieved to find that he understood Merrick's elaboration and clarification; and also that the shadowy Alpha thought of death as being the experiment, and not life. Ico had heard of those who believed there would be some great reward or exciting conclusion after life, which was a terrible waste of heartbeats. But no, Merrick was not one of those souls, and Ico believed he would fill his life to the rim.
The wondering is part of living, I reckon
, he pondered by way of response. If we knew what happened after death, some of us would rush to it — which would be... no good. Hopefully neither of us will solve that mystery until many years have passed.
A little part of him theorised that by the time all those years had passed, Ico would be far too sleepy to bother coming back as anything at all.
"you'd make a good priest," merrick commented softly, watching ico with a soft expression, one as of yet unseen on the prince's scarred face. "i'm not ready to go, not yet." he entertained no ideas that his life would be forever, but he knew he had breath yet left to give.
"have you seen the altar yet? maybe ..." merrick thought in a rush, "maybe you could ... i don't know. introduce some science to the idea of ghosts."
Ico was quietly relieved at Merrick's reassurance — he wasn't ready to walk through the deathly curtain into whatever lay beyond. He knew Merrick was grounded in this reality, but the one-eyed leader was also an eccentric to say the least. He did and said things Ico did not understand.
For instance, this concept of priesthood. Ico had heard of and met spiritualists, but never a priest. He wondered if it was connected to these other things about which Merrick spoke — ghosts, science... altars. I've never seen the altar, no
, he breathed, looking up at the older wolf hopefully, eager for revelation.
fade or continue? :D im cool either way
a grin. "you wanna go see? it's her place, really," and he trusted that ico would know who she was, "but we can go." thankful for the opportunity to be off, pleased with the angel, who glimmered like thistledown under the springtime light, merrick chuffed.
a thought occurred to him. "evien is our doctor. perhaps you could be our ... priest. teacher." he grinned. "if you want." the one eye glittered, and then he was setting himself on the path with a glance to his companion.
Happy to fade; would be great to have another some time soon! <3
I'd be honoured
, he replied honestly, quietly, for he'd always been too intimidated to visit the rocky altar at the border. But as they made their way towards it and Merrick voiced a thought, Ico blinked up at him, startled. A priest? A teacher?
Ico?! I'd... I'd very much like to work towards something like that
, he replied humbly. He was quite sure he couldn't teach anyone anything, except perhaps how to string a few sentences together into a viable tale.
But he was touched by Merrick's interest in him, and wished to please him. Thus Ico would regard the altar with all due deference, and promise he would endeavor to build himself into someone Ursus could be proud of
can do & last from me <3!
merrick had no doubt of ico's loyalty. it occurred to him that he might encourage romance within the pack, to further intrigue his followers. he considered for a moment how best to influence that, soon breaking into a smile "come on, then," he invited, tail lashing at his hips. he set off, and regaled all the way to the stone cairn and its forbidden offerings.