Night fell, the temperature dropping. The crescent mood hid behind a curtain of clouds, thickening the darkness. Towhee couldn't help but wonder if this was what it was like being
@Fennec, even as she roved the copse in search of her daughter. She could still see, although everything was very dim, draped in shadows, all the details blurred. And, of course, Towhee was entirely deaf to the soft chorus of cicadas, crickets and spring peepers.
She reached the far edge of the territory, where the river ran along the foot of the mountain. It was back to its usual breadth and depth, the evidence of last month's flooding already fading. Especially in the dark, Towhee could hardly make out anything but the subtle glint on the flowing water. She roamed to its edge and took a seat, sighing out a breath that turned visible right before her eyes.
The last few days, Fennec had for the most part kept her head down and her mouth shut. That really wasn't hard to do... Bronco was gone, Penn was gone, Meerkat was gone... and seeing her other siblings meant potentially running into Niamh. So there was no way she was doing that.
Instead she stuck around Eljay's neck of the woods when she wasn't wandering. He'd taught her to identify a few plants, something she mostly did by smell or by touch. The second was iffy if she didn't confirm the first, and taste was always a last resort. She didn't really want to learn about poisons that way.
It... wasn't terrible. Eljay was nice and she found herself, however reluctantly, actually kind of getting into the science of it. Still, a part of her hesitated. It was the same part that had been thrown off when Penn left, and then again with Niamh, and then again when she talked to Bronco.
She didn't know why, but she just felt... stuck.
Fennec frowned as she leaned down to sniff ahead of her, detecting a whiff of the heady plant she was looking for. Eljay had said they'd be gone with winter, so she figured she'd grab some since she didn't really have much else she was doing. She started following it, but froze when she heard pawsteps.
Just mom, she thought with relief, then lifted her head to turn her face so that Towhee might catch the greeting. Hey.
The sight of her breath made her wonder if they were ready for winter, after what the rains had done to them. The damage had set them back, though Towhee thought they'd made great progress so far. Most of the copse's caches were already reestablished, with Towhee herself adding as much small game as she could manage. But what about other stores, like medical ones? Her head tipped as the thought crossed her mind, orange eyes skimming over the rocks on the far side of the water. She could barely make out their silhouettes.
She sat a while, mulling the upcoming winter, then rose back onto all fours and began walking back into the woods when she saw a pale figure angling toward her. Towhee's heart skipped a beat but then she smiled as Fennec's lips formed the word, "Hey." Her tail waved as she moved nearer to bump the yearling's shoulder with a, "Hey, you," of her own.
The Sovereign could've launched right into it, like she had with Niamh, telling her that she knew about the altercation and requesting to hear her side of things. Towhee could've said a lot of things on the matter at this point, having had a couple days to really turn it all over in her mind. But she didn't want to go in from that angle with Fen. And, actually, there was something unrelated but relevant she wanted to ask first.
"Could you help me with something? I've been refilling the caches but I'm kind of a shit hunter. I ran right through a thorn bush earlier today. I scraped up the back of my neck and my shoulders pretty bad. Think you could maybe clean them for me?"
Fennec didn't assume that Towhee was here to talk about Niamh at first. She doubted "the bitch" would stoop to narcing her out to her mom, and she didn't assume Eljay and Towhee spoke much. But when Towhee asked her to clean the wounds, something clicked into place. She'd forgotten she told Eljay he could tell others about the training, and instantly she flushed hot with embarrassment.
Towhee had been probably the single biggest reason she didn't want to tell. She knew how her mom felt about Eljay, and how into warrior training she was. Admitting she was training under Eljay was akin to admitting she was giving up, in Fennec's view, and she had convinced herself silently that her mom would judge her for it. That, or be grateful that she was settling on something "suitable" challenge level for her.
Either would be awful.
After the initial surprise, Fennec recovered, but she still had a sinking feeling in her stomach. Yeah, sure, whatever.
She said dismissively. There's no way you are a shit hunter.
She added as she walked over, sniffing. She could smell the dried blood clearly, and slowly, she began to clean the scratches by feel. It wasn't a hard job for her.... she could tell by feel what areas had give and which didn't, and by scent too when something had infection. It was odd... despite her reluctance, she was quick to get absorbed in the task, though she listened idly for anything Towhee might say.
The yearling didn't reply right away. When she did, she sounded forcibly casual, almost dismissive, about the task. But she moved nearer, so Towhee lowered herself to the ground to grant Fennec easier access. She held still as the blind she-wolf sniffed her way to the wounds, grimacing a little as Fen's tongue found the first of the contusions and began to thoroughly clean the lot of them.
As her daughter worked, Towhee insisted, "I'm good at a lot of things but hunting ain't one of them. Your dad hogged all the skills in that department." Being deaf probably didn't do her any favors, though Towhee would never actually know what difference it did or didn't make. "How does it look?" she wondered as Fennec continued her ministrations. But, of course, she couldn't see what she was doing. "Feel? Smell?" she tested out loud, wondering which Fen felt applied.
Fennec breathed a semi impatient breath through her nose, but didn't respond. Answering her mom's questions would have involved repositioning in a way that would have taken too much time... and she was nearly done. While there was definitely dirt, and they probably itched, Fennec didn't smell or taste anything off about the cuts. Still, maybe she should still try out the stuff Eljay had told her.
Finally she pulled back. Nothing bad, no infection or anything. But I'll come bring you some of the stuff me and Eljay picked up the other day, just to be sure.
Nothing for it, and while Fennec was hesitant about being in training, there was nothing hesitant about applying them. She knew, in a way she never had before, what she was doing.
That's not why you came, though, is it?
With the moment pause, for cleaning, Fennec had thought it over. If Towhee was really just here for treatment, Eljay would have had to have told her, and she could have just had it done then. She had a sneaking suspicion this was a lead in... especially with how similar this request was to another.
If Fennec replied, Towhee didn't catch it. She inhaled and let the yearling do her job, her eyes probing the darkness around them and musing again that she could hardly see more than the blind yearling. Yet surely Fen's other senses compensated, in part, just as Towhee's imagined hers did in lieu of hearing. It was impossible to know, though it merited a few moments' reflection as Fennec finished.
When her daughter stepped in front of her, Towhee's eyes sought her lips. "What stuff?" she wondered. "Something gross?" she guessed, wrinkling her nose but laughing dryly. She huffed another wry sound when Fennec questioned her point blank about her motives.
"I wanted to talk to you about the spat with Niamh," the Sovereign answered with the same frankness, "and I wasn't going to do this but..." She paused, lips pursed, then continued. "Eljay told me what happened, then I spoke to Niamh to hear her side of the story. I didn't want to take sides—still don't—but it's like I told her: no one but maybe your Aunt Raven should ever question Eljay when it comes to medical care." There was a lot more to say on the matter, though she stopped there to give Fennec an opportunity to get a word in edgewise.
She should have known, and she kind of did. Of course that was it. Fennec still had a whole lot of choice words to say on it, and immediately she wanted to jump right on that track. If it had been a week ago, she would have; but talking with Eljay, and with Bronco, had cooled her fury into a quiet grudge. She wasn't okay with it, but she wasn't going to fly off the handle about it on any given day either.
It wasn't a spat.
She said, her ears slipping back a bit. It was tempting to look down, but she kept her head up, knowing her mom needed to see. Besides, she'd done nothing wrong. Eljay told me to do a job, and Niamh tried to stop me. I tried to do it anyway, and she pushed me over. So I left.
And it had killed her to, honestly. She'd have loved to stick around and take her anger out on Niamh, at that moment... but her damn responsibility had won out. She couldn't have trusted that what's his face would have stuck around, or not been caught up in the scuffle. But as she spoke, despite her attempt, anger darkened her features. It might have been a spat to Niamh, or anyone else... but to Fennec, it had been so much more than that.
When Fennec corrected her, Towhee made no reply. She sensed she had more to say, and she was correct. The yearling offered up a fairly cut and dry rendition of the story. She couldn't recall Eljay's or Niamh's versions word for word (unlike her narrator, who has the benefit of copy and paste), though she thought back on what each of them had said, recalling particular details.
According to Eljay, "I asked Fennec to help me by cleaning the boy's wounds. I... didn't expect trouble, so I went off to see if I could find herbs for the pain. When I returned, Fennec was gone. Niamh had told her to leave and shoved her off, apparently."
"But the whole story is this," came Niamh's voice in her memory, "Eljay asked Fennec to treat Rasalas's wounds while he went to find herbs. But given the fact I've more experience treating wounds, and how shy and pained the boy was, I asked Fennec to help me get him warmed up while I tended his wounds. She commanded me to move and gave me a shove; and I wasn't having that attitude near a child who was already shell-shocked enough as it was. So I sent her off."
Towhee recollected that Eljay had briefly left, thus he hadn't actually witnessed the altercation itself. Both Niamh and Fennec claimed the other had shoved her, while failing to mention any aggressive action on her own part. If nothing else, it was extremely curious to compare and contrast these witness statements of sorts.
She remembered how eventually Niamh had come around and admitted she needed to apologize to Fennec, which indicated a guilty conscience. Evidently the Regent hadn't gotten around to it yet. Towhee could've told Fennec about it but that was both Niamh's business and her responsibility. Besides, she really, really didn't want to meddle. They were both grown women, they could handle this themselves.
"Niamh shouldn't have gone against you and Eljay," Towhee eventually said, likewise resisting any temptation to defend her friend. She would leave it at that, let the two of them hash out the rest, though she did add, "It's not my place but I'm still sorry it happened. It wasn't fair to you. And as I'll say again and again, anyone that tries to argue medicine with Eljay is," she finished, taking the words right from Niamh's own mouth, "an asshat."
Towhee doubled down on what she'd said before, and Fennec felt that same flash of indignation she'd felt when Eljay mentioned it. She shouldn't assume I'm an idiot. She shouldn't need him to prove it. He gave me the job, and I'm supposed to trust her to do it, but she can't be expected to trust me?
The fur on her nape spiked as she slipped into venting. None of them understood it. She shoved me aside like I was gonna hurt him, all because I was trying to help.
Suddenly, she remembered that this was Towhee she was talking to... not Bronco. Her tail twitched and she turned. Whatever. It's done, anyway, isn't it?
There was no rewinding, going back and undoing it. Her mom and dad both obviously loved and respected Niamh a lot; Fennec didn't have to understand it. But she could begrudge it, and use it as an excuse to shut down, like she was doing now. I'll go get those herbs.
She didn't know if her mom would try and stop her or not, but she was going to try and duck out of this conversation early.
Towhee couldn't hear the tone of her daughter's voice, though there was an indignant look on her face as she spoke rapidly. The Sovereign couldn't do anything but fix her eyes on her daughter's swiftly moving lips, trying to catch every word, lest she miss one. Even in the darkness, she saw the way Fen's fur bristled out of the corner of her eye.
"You're right," Towhee began to say when the yearling threw out her,
"Whatever." She swallowed. After her vent, it seemed Fennec didn't want to discuss it further. Towhee had a lot more she could (and wanted) to say, yet if she really was going to leave it between them, perhaps she should just let it drop like the yearling wanted.
But it didn't sit right with her, the way Fennec pulled away from her and prepared to stalk off into the night. It put a bad taste in her mouth, souring her tongue and tempting her to call out after the girl. In the end, she held it. She would let Fen do her job. She was going to return at some point, so they could resume talking then, whether or not they raised this particular topic.
I wasn't sure if you wanted to continue, so we can fade this here if you prefer. :)
We can fade! She's such a butt
It wasn't rational that, days later, Fennec would still be so upset about this as to take it out on her mom. It didn't feel great but she just couldn't help the frustration she felt. She couldn't see Towhee's face, so she didn't know how her words landed. The cut off affirmation was all she got, but it wasn't enough to make her stay.
She stalked off, and would take some time before she took the herbs back and treated Towhee's shoulders the way Eljay had taught her. In the meantime, she clenched her jaw, willing herself to just forget it. Problem was, it wasn't easy to forget. And there was no way in hell she was ever going to get to the root of why. Especially not with conversation.
Admitting that meant admitting that, at one point, Niamh's estimation of her had meant something. She'd looked up to her... her mom's best friend and a fighter too. But she'd learned pretty abruptly where she ranked that day, and that cut deeper than any insult against her eyes ever would. Obviously her step mom cared more about that random kid than she did her own step daughter, who was just some blind nuisance she'd needed to swat away.
All of this was locked up tight, in the same recesses where Penn now stayed, his own departure leaving pretty recent scars of its own. All of it just served to convince her, more and more, that anyone could change. Even her family's love couldn't be completely unconditional.