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Full Version: Watched my welcome wear thin
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<3 no rush on this

I am glad she has found a way to say what she needs to, but I worry that she was so quick to think we did not listen.  Rosalyn finished quietly, speaking of Chacal as she settled in at pace next to her wife.  In the rush of the days as they passed, she always tried to snatch a moment to catch up.  Today she'd asked @Erzulie if she wished to go on a walk - spring was in the air and finally the coast was warming beneath the sun's gaze.

And Valravn.  She let out a sigh.  Do you know why he fears the water?  She hadn't asked him and had no recollection of what the source might have been.  Perhaps he had no reason.  She'd started to question, though, the nature of hosting a contest that their own children were barred from for something so simple as fear of the water.  Rosalyn did not wish to get rid of the race but she feared the repercussions if they did not.  Would they lose him as well?

And more on the way.  We really do choose our own hardships, Rosalyn thought wryly.
<3

she kissed the hard roundness of rosalyn's shoulder, sighed into the seasalt cedarwood fur. always they leant upon one another; their relationship would have become nothing were it for the constant discourse between the wives, and their intention to hand that down to their children. and her time had been tempted along; even now she had begun to smoulder with the beginnings of it.
she had made her choice.
"i t'ink she believes everyone sees her as she does not want to be," erzulie said of their beautiful girl. "she has our pride." the surely, a double portion of it, and if she was anything like her arrogant cinnamon mother, chacal had quite a path indeed. she hoped not; she would rather their child learn temperance now rather than later.
"he says he jus' does not like it," the harlot swelled in the next moment, rolling her shoulders in a brief, vague frustration. "part of me be wantin' to make him swim, part of me be wantin' to excuse him from de sea. but i do not t'ink dat is safe. de sea almos' took merlin. his birt'right be de sea. i do not understand it."
I don't know whether to admire it or apologize for it, Rosalyn responded with a small smile. Slightly tense, for she did worry. She couldn't help it. Despite their resolution, she'd thought this time there would be no secrets between them, no misunderstandings to navigate. She learned more each year and, in spite of that, felt further and further from adequate each time a failure displayed.

I want him to feel welcome to the role as the rest, but I don't want his fear to be the rest of theirs. This place is theirs, but it is ours as well. And the sea... is us. Rosalyn sighed, more bemused than upset. I wish he knew. I'm glad he fears it, but fear shouldn't always mean complete avoidance. Sometimes it just means respect.

She was speaking more to herself at this point, working through the thoughts. She knew Erzulie likely knew all of this, but wanted to hear her thoughts on it. Were they wrong to be selfish and keep the race as they wished? Or should they, for the sake of the children, give in to the desire that a different process rise?
a gentle laugh. but their mateship had been long enough now that erzulie knew when something else lurked beneath her wife's aura. she listened, attempting to winnow it out from the subtext of what rosalyn said. her own thoughts trailed to the same end, however, that perhaps they had been wrong. chacal adored the sea but did not trust its final word. valravn feared it and perhaps always would. both their children.
"i had de t'ought dat chacal could teach him. if anyone could do dat, it would be her." she could not order them into the sea, and would not, but valravn had reached an age where he was no child any longer. and as such, it was no longer something a maman could be given.
he must learn to lean more upon his sister with such vulnerabilities; it would be good for their bond.
"if we changed de run, what would we put in its place?" erzulie wondered aloud, knowing it did well for her pirate to puzzle things aloud.
Perhaps. She did not have a lot of hope in it, though. Valravn was a sweet boy but had little of the fire needed to push beyond such a block. He seemed to have no desire to test his limits, to reach beyond what was comfortable.

And was this a thing to reward?

I do not know. It is odd, I'd thought we'd have more who love the water as we do. Instead they all seem to avoid it. Maybe we are the crazy ones. She shared a smile with more genuine affection. At least they shared this.

It should bring us together. No fights. But it does not need to prove a leader, unlike what the children think. Because we do not need another lead. Any of their voices would be fine regardless of leadership merit. It was the chance to participate, to be recognized.

Perhaps a search? Or a hunt? Was there a prey they could seek rare enough to serve a challenge?
rosalyn did not think they needed another leader. erzulie was not inclined to disagree, though she did see the merit of beginning to choose who might follow them in sapphique. yet this event had proven to her that their children, perhaps, were not yet ready to do even such.
they would wait. her pirate was wise.
"i enjoy a search," she hummed, thinking of how she had sent the young ones out before her last cycle had come. a thought, rising, unrelated and unbidden: "i wish dat solaire would come home. an' arcelia, so quiet." oh, what had they been speaking on? she could not recall, suddenly.
Rosalyn did not notice the sudden topic change, reading the shift as a natural lull. She'd contemplate the idea of a search further, but it was not a problem they needed to solve now. The anger had already been released.

What do you think they've found out there? Rosalyn asked, the question frequently on her mind but less so openly. It wasn't one she often answered, mostly because the thoughts could be unpleasant. Not everything to be found was kind.

It had been a long time since she'd checked in with Arcelia in any real sense, and she couldn't recall their last conversation. She should remedy that.
erzulie sighed softly, but it was not a true dejection. "perhaps dey foun' piracy," she joked, though a laugh would only feel hollow. "somet'ing held dem out dere. i want to believe it was de call of de sea." it was everywhere; it surrounded them, beat in all their bloodline.
"it was to be expected, i only t'ink dey leave de nes' so soon, rosalyn," and this time she did chuckle. "perhaps it be de stubbornness in dem."
Reyes had; she knew this? Rosalyn thought she did, though suddenly she did not know why. Something about him had at one point spoken to a similar piracy of her own, except where it had turned her careless it had instead made him guarded.

I think that was why Reyes came back different, Rosalyn replied, unsure if she'd shared that. But she had no space to expound on it because he had spoken so little. He'd held little love for the sea on his return, she felt.

I think so. Some wanted to lead, perhaps they did not want us to step aside for it. Too many hadn't given goodbyes but it was a more pleasant thought than the alternative and she clung to it. To the thought of their families, as well, and the lives they led now. Some might have even had children of their own.

Perhaps one day one will swoop in and take us to their pack, to live a life of luxury. She added with a small laugh. She didn't actively wish to give up what they held here, but some days, the thought appealed. No leadership, no worries, just she and Erzulie living their golden years in peace.
reyes. she had not forgotten how distant their son had been, how forbidding. and how he had disappeared again.  a flighty boy, and one she missed badly. flicking her glance toward rosalyn, she asked silently what had been said, since reyes had remained unspoken. but by now, she knew her pirate would have shared such things.
wherever their now-grown children had ended up, their mother only held the fond hope of their return. it was for chacal she worried most, and regin — breath catching in her throat.
"i love dat t'ought," she sighed aloud, a chuckle masking her previous emotion. "odd to t'ink we will be grandmamans! i still feel so young,"[/i] she joked.
You always will be, Rosalyn joked back affectionately. Erzulie might be growing in years as she did, but the pirate doubted she'd ever manage to see her wife as old. No matter how old she may feel herself.

Odd to think of it indeed. She could not imagine their current children taking such steps though in truth she might have been grandmother to Valravn and Regin had things gone differently. Instead she and Erzulie were mother once more. One day would Chacal raise children of her own? She hoped not, at least a part of her - she could imagine no man earning the right to her daughter's side. If she chose to, Rosalyn hoped she chose to do so of her own terms.

If anyone says otherwise, we can send them to argue with the sea. I may feel old but I don't think I'm ready to hear it from anyone else, Rosalyn added, humor picking up now that she'd turned from worse thoughts.
she tossed her wife a smirk and a nod. "we have achieved enough not to have to sit t'rough anyone else's lecture," she rebutted, stretching languidly and sending her gaze along the beachline in search of moving shadows which might indicate prey. "do you ever t'ink about de plateau?" erzulie inquired.
only a few memories taken from that place, and the most glaring of all in the discovery of firefly's body. they had not loved him, and in the end, had thought ill of him for his abandonment. but erzulie had not wished for the man to meet his end, and in some tiny way she wondered if his death had affected the children he had fathered, despite the fact that the wives had reared them not to grieve the absence of a man around.
The plateau? She did not. She remembered the moors... and before that, the sound. She tried to place the journey she knew she'd taken, the earth shaking... but she could not recall entirely the events surrounding it. She had been... searching for Reyes? No. Nieve? That was who she had found, and they had returned to - ah. A single memory that triggered the rest, bringing her back with a tilting jolt of relief.

I don't, she answered honestly. She did not remember it well, but hazily. She had not been there long before they'd moved on, and now she could not recall. What had been next?

I was glad enough to find it, but I don't recall thinking much aside from that. Do you? She had not been there when they'd relocated, and she now didn't know if she'd ever asked why. She must have just assumed it was the quakes.
"sometimes." she thought of firefly's body again; swallowed. "sometimes i dream dat our children not meant for de sea ended up in forests," the courtesan revealed, easily vulnerable with her wife. that was the way of things, for she must trust rosalyn if they were to weather what life meant to hand them.
she did not want to think of unhappy things.
shaking them away with a determined roll of her shoulders, erzulie grinned. "what you be t'inkin' of eadwulf?" she had come to be rather fond of him for he had never given her a reason not to treat him so.
Rosalyn touched her wife gently when she revealed her thoughts, and while she said nothing, her expression took on an understanding that needed little explanation. She'd imagined their lost children in countless places, all of them distant, all of them safe. The forest was a place that was known to them; it wasn't unheard of that they might have ended up there, though Rosalyn knew she would never return to find out. She did not need to know, nor did she wish to. It was better to hope.

He is a good man, I think. Like Njord. And like another, but Rosalyn did not wish to speak of that right now. It would turn the conversation again to worse things. I do wonder though. She smiled, though there was a protective flare when she thought of the implications of the notion. How long so many men will be content, in a home with few prospects outside of... diversion.

She wouldn't think of belittling the power of her wife's diversions, or her own (though she rarely offered them now to any others). But a life tended to lead towards something more, and Sapphique had few options for such. Rosalyn got the feeling that soon, Chacal would become a focus of many. She did not like the thought of it.
erzulie pursed her lips. "it be a concern," she said gently. "men enjoy de fight. dey enjoy bringing de fight home." however, under the wives' combined leadership, rusalka had steadied and now sapphique.
she breathed in rosalyn's scent. "we are not so old to run off lousy boys," erzulie laughed aloud. "de firs' one to try dis will find himself in quite a place," she promised, amusement fading to a firm light of promise in her eyes.
"come swimming wid me," she urged, ready to throw off their seriousness and surrender to the ocean. "i will tell you about a song i once heard."
it did not occur to think of chacal's eligbility.
Erzulie did not seem concerned, but it was a problem Rosalyn intended to put some thought towards fixing. Surely there were women somewhere searching for a pack like Sapphique, and perhaps it was time to once more branch outwards and seek them. She no longer wished to roam far from the cliffs but she could still journey a ways. If lone wanderers bypassed their shores then perhaps they could be found in the forests and flatlands surrounding.

It was worth thought, but she held that note of a plan and let it go there. Please, she said with a smile, allowing her wife to draw her into the water. She wasn't the singer Erzulie or their daughter was but she never passed a chance to hear either sing, or to join when invited.

we can wrap and have another if you like <3