aw! tags for ref!
the
place that kukutux had found had made her resolute. the stone overhang could be climbed, though she could not yet do this; it would be a place to hang hides for curing, to dry strips of meat and fish. it was deep within, more than large enough for herself and for
@Sialuk — as well as any siblings that might join the girl this year. but the raindrop could not stay forever. she would have her own
ulaq, nearby, kukutux hoped, and there she would begin to expand her training to become moonwoman after the duck.
in the year to come, the children of sialuk and the thirdbirthed of kukutux would be raised together. she enjoyed this thought of the future, allowing herself to latch to the brighter edges of that while her jaws worked the pelt of a weasel into leather. the lynx
@Adrastus had brought; its pelt lay within the
ulaq, visible to those who passed by. she had buried its skyblessed flesh in the coolness of the new cache, dug alongside the edge of the entrance.
kukutux set aside down pulled from the belly of a rabbit for
@Lótë. perhaps she might use the soft hairs for her dyes; perhaps she might use it for her sleeping place. this thought reminded her of what she had told adrastus, and what she herself had asked the cloudberry she-wolf. kukutux thought of
@Zane now, amused still at how he had greeted lane. for him she had a long otterbone, sharp upon one edge. she suspected his teeth might enjoy more than speaking.
there was a new young hunter among them;
@Dragomir; and he too had come from moonspear. he had a year more than sialuk, but the duck was pleased that her raindrop might have a more familiar face in his dark features.
and
@Raimo — he had become
kingullimik and had gone off. he had not returned for some time, not to her
ulaq and not to moonglow. kukutux had wondered with pain clutching her spirit if he had departed in a final way, after the hurt and shame he had suffered just out of her arms.
but it seemed this had been calmed by
another; he had not bothered to wash himself and so the next time that kukutux had seen the shadowhunter, the scent of another cleaved to him. she stared now at the edge of the red foxfur he had given her; it shone even in the semi-darkness, and held the fragrance of them both. anger and humiliation chased across her features; the duck sharply inhaled and slid from the
ulaq, stripping a nearby plant of its wide verdant leaves with an almost-anger.
As he climbed the mountain's spine Raimo came across a recession filled with stagnant water; it was small, it smelled sour, and so he knew not to clean himself with it. There were white stains along the rock bordering it.
Overhead swept a shadow as some kind of bird landed in the eaves of an oak tree, rustling at its nest. He could not tell what kind of bird it was for all the branches; but then it called out and the piercing sound of the eagle's cry rang in his ears. It was cleaning at something, and soon enough the head of a fish dropped from the tree and in to his path.
It smacked a sharp stone edge as it landed, splattering the stale water with red, and Raimo watched it expand within the water, thinning until it was gone. He looked to the fish head next. It stared at him with eyes like frosted glass. The cheeks were still intact, so he grabbed for it and moved away.
The smell was more pungent than he anticipated. It reminded him of the sea-scent that Jakoul carried with her; he drifted physically between the trees, mentally back to the quarry and the sensations they had shared. In his wandering he passed by the old ulaq of Kukutux and was surprised to find the scent of her waning there, replaced by cold shadow.
As he moved on, Raimo wondered where the moon had vanished to. Perhaps she had found Adrastus' sleeping place to keep herself warm during the nights he himself had been away; the thought was like a spear to his chest, and he gripped the fish head more tightly without noticing.
When Kukutux' scent came to him again, this time strong, there was the sound of rustling to accompany it. Perhaps she was hunting for herself, he thought. He paused to look through the shadows for her, and saw her sunning herself by a structure of rocks, her head bowed to the grass.
kukutux collected what had fallen with quick movements, irritation ebbing below the desperation of needing to find as many tasks for herself as was possible. the moonbow divided the leaves into two piles, one to make into a paste and the other to dry. the smell of medicines filled her senses. this restored peace for a moment, and the duck straightened.
when she looked up, raimo was there, and this brief taste was immediately bittered. she held herself proudly, though limbs suddenly felt heavy with exhaustion. she wanted to leave him there. she wanted him to come with her. but she said neither of these things. let him come forward. he would see that she was alone here, and that while adrastus' scent was mingled with those of moonglow, it was not what raimo carried with him.
"it is good that you have returned," kukutux murmured softly if the shadow stretched closer, though she could not look at him. palestruck crown bending over her work once more. it was finished, she had nothing more to do, and so kukutux chose to divvy them into four groups, searching for anything that would keep her gaze from him.
she did not know why it provoked her so, why it inspired the lurking nip of jealousy in her belly. such was his right as a man; raimo had no wife to which he should be loyal, and she could not demand it to herself. at long last she looked up, keeping her expression mindfully closed even as she remembered his touch. she should not feel so; she had lain with aiolos. the thought of this did not comfort kukutux, though she wondered now after the redsun, knowing she must go to yuelong's border when she had healed.
The fish head felt heavy in his jaws, suddenly.
He placed it down upon the grass not far from where the woman worked, as if he were placing a stone atop a mound and bowing his head to mourn; perhaps he did that too, as he felt he had lost Kukutux days ago. At the same time Raimo refused to let himself pine too deeply for the woman; he had Jakoul now, who would be with him in their secret place whenever he sought her out.
It is good that you have returned,
Kukutux voiced, raising her head. Raimo watched her with the feral scrutiny he always carried; there was a chill behind his eyes that for a moment warmed, if only for the slant of sunlight that caught them.
He thought, is it really? And then bit his tongue to avoid saying it aloud. Instead he drew a breath of pungent air and rolled the fish head towards her with a kick. It landed at a rest on one cheek, dust-covered, staring emptily at Kukutux.
She had noticed his absence, then. Perhaps now she noticed the scent that wreathed his body. Did she care? Did it pain her to think of him finding pleasure elsewhere? Had the dead fish smell not been so abundant perhaps Raimo would have learned of her own dalliance, but he remained oblivious.
Adrastus' scent is strong here,
he comments, speaking of the borders but leaving it up to interpretation; he insinuates something without needing to elucidate. And you have a fresh pelt,
he observes next, glancing to the lynx skin drying. It is impressive, but Raimo doesn't want to say that, in case the pale hunter is somewhere near and can hear him.
Where is he now?
He asks, mindful of the challenge that awaits them both.
perhaps she had brought this to them both, lying with the redsun that space of time ago. but aiolos belonged to yuelong, and to the empress. they could not belong to one another. kukutux considered that this permanent boundary-line had been the stepping-stone to the fulfillment of their own desires. but it was not what she felt for raimo, it was not the thorn-broken thing that curled in her with want for his hard body and revulsion for the perfume he wore.
the fish eye was round, staring; the duck gazed steadily into the dark circled pupil and then back toward the shadowhunter. "adrastus brought this to me when he came down from the mountains to be sivullik," the woman uttered quietly, pinning back toward his allusion with something of her own. a gift, then, but perhaps it was more than that. after all, he had not responded to her; adrastus had asked, instead, of the separation between the firsthunter and the moonwoman.
raimo, kukutux thought bitterly, should take a wife. there was no reason he could not. it would keep him satisfied within moonglow. but maybe no one part of this village could satisfy him. certainly she had not. the leaves were cool beneath her small paw. a sense of dread was beginning to sweep icewild across her bones. "he walks in the forest," the duck answered at last. she was unsure of his true location, but suspected he hunted.
and she wondered if now would be the hour that raimo went to share teeth with the cloud-man. it was not her place to deter or dissuade. "bring home the one you have chosen, raimo," kukutux said softly, directly, her jade-gaze finding that of moonglow's spear. why should he not give her a place in their village? he flaunted her body upon his own pelt even now, and if they had come together in a sense of season, his children should be provided a safe place.
planning for him, even as her soul peeled back in bark-strips.
He walks in the forest,
she says. It is vague. She doesn't know where he is, then, not really. Or maybe she does not want to tell him. To save the man from his teeth. Raimo wonders; but he keeps those wonderings to himself and glances to the rustling of branches as if Adrastus might drop from a bough on command, his expression almost bored.
Bring home the one you have chosen,
the moon instructs of him next, and something stirs in Raimo's gaze. He cannot draw his eyes to Kukutux just yet, as his interest has shifted from Adrastus to her inner workings. What did she think of him and the new perfume he wore? Her voice is tired; he wonders if she hurts and finds he does not truly want to know, and oddly, does not feel guilty for his actions.
They were nothing to one another except warm bodies, after all.
It is a curious opportunity to him. Would the shadow he found be willing to follow him home? He had no idea where Jakoul had gone. She smelled of the sea when they were together, of the dust in the quarry, of spring blossoms and arid grass. What wolf scent he had found he had dismissed, but it had been there too — a network of others.
Her home is by the sea,
he goes on to surmise, dismissing the invitation. Maybe if he felt inclined to hunt for her he would be able to ask. Or maybe the mountains. I did not have words with her.
it hurt, again, to hear raimo speak so casually with her of the woman he had enjoyed while he was away. she had invited this talk, the snowfeather reminded herself, though teethtip prickled against the inside of her own jaw, a warning to herself. control must be had. she could not make herself more vulnerable than she already had.
the moon cannot stumble upon her path. how else will she stay in the sky?
if sialuk was to follow, then kukutux could not let her own position be shamed. it was esteem and respect that would be part of her gift to the raindrop, when it was time.
by the sea. knowing rearing its head inside her gaze, which fell away in a demure manner. perhaps she was one who followed aiolos. kukutux was unsure how she felt of this, only that the more raimo watched her, the more the duck drew into the core of herself. they did not have words, only tangled; her mind spun many images that she did not wish to see, each more fantastical than the last.
"if she is one who lives in village yuelong, then it is a good thing. they are companion to moonglow." mind sifting; she wanted to scream, to pull away from raimo, to never see him another time. "it would be an important match." jade eyes moved to catch whatever expression passed over the face of the shadowhunter.
Is that pain he sees behind her eyes? He merely glimpses her face, unable to stop himself from that momentary grasp of her, feeling her slipping from his grasp like a shard of ice melting against his warm palm. Soon that meltwater became something else; something hard, again, untouched by spring's thaw.
The way she so effortlessly felt and then dismissed might have angered him at any other time but Raimo was overwhelmed by the taste of Jakoul still upon his tongue and so, relishing the still warm memory, Raimo chose the path of ignorance and heartlessness.
Yuelong was not a name he knew of. It had not been shared with him by his migratory family or passed along in any tale, so at once he was intrigued. If they were friends to Moonglow then perhaps he would see her again after all — especially with Kukutux' blessing now obtained.
Hm. May I have leave to journey there?
He asked this without truly minding the answer. Kukutux had all but given him away already. This would also keep him far from Adrastus and in a way, keep Moonglow peaceful for a while longer.
now he would leave again. perhaps he would find yuelong to his liking, and remain there.
the conception that he might depart the spine-place bordered by holy lands unsettled kukutux; she sought for any scrap of confidence she had remaining but found only pretense. and this she donned, the moonswept curves of her face becoming smooth and blank as newfallen snow. a woman's trick, her aunt had laughed, but the duck took no pleasure in this now.
it was unfair of her to feel in this way, and it would not do for moonglow to have such a division between herself and raimo; she felt the hotness of it beneath her paledriven fur even as she remained close to him. she took his asking for eagerness; and a jutting sense of betrayal etched itself momentarily at the corners of her eyes.
"sivullik must know that one of moonglow's hunters will leave for the time that you decide. tell adrastus that i have said your path to yuelong is clear in my eyes." it was not a test; she did not expect raimo to take to the idea of two circles. but she would ensure this of everyone who remained in moonglow. "the man aiolos is leader beside the empress hua. when you go, please tell to him that the moon will come to his shores when she has healed. perhaps we will speak of this if you and she have made a choice." he would go as one who carried the way of their people.
kukutux could not remain longer, lest her face crumple and betray her. a lift of her chin. raimo was free to leave her presence; she wanted him to stay; she wanted him to go.
To stay he would have to confront Adrastus; to leave, he would have to confront Adrastus. Did Kukutux desire bloodshed above all else? The two men were on a collision course no matter what choice Raimo made, and he stared at her with a deepening scowl until she silenced again.
Raimo turns away, sulking off from her company. The last thing he wanted to deal with right now was Adrastus but the moon, perhaps in retaliation for the panther's wandering eye, had made all decisions for him.
<3
the shadowhunter stalked away, and when she was sure he had truly gone, the duck let her head fall back toward the sky and felt tears slide backward along the roundness of her cheekbone. the warmth of them touched her jawline, her ear; they burned in anger and in shame. she shifted, brought her attention back to the leaves which blurred and lost their sense before her eyes.
the nine days had not healed her. they seemed to have done so for sialuk, which held greater importance for kukutux. yet her heart remained scored by a half-dozen cuts, and the rift between herself and raimo had only thrown saltwater upon them. they grieved her now with a particular pain, one of this new awareness, knowing that their union had not ended the ache that echoed within the empty places her heart held.
she had hurt him. she had hurt herself.
kuktuux gathered her greenery and retreated into the recesses of the ulaq.