When
@Erzulie had shared the news of
@Haunt's departure with her, Rosalyn did not mind, though she recognized the slight maternal affection she felt towards the girl. She couldn't bear to think on it, but in the wake of Raleska, she would perhaps always be seeking more to fill the hole left jagged, still, in her chest. It was a fruitless endeavor.
They had a newcomer recently, though, one who had spoken of interest in scouting. Rosalyn remembered
@Alyx dimly though she hadn't spent much attention on the girl at the time. Niamh's child... she wondered how long before the golden woman darkened their doorstep.
Today she sought the girl out. They would not range far but she could speak with her, perhaps see where she'd been and where she sought to learn of. The pirate's experience was mostly in coastal ranging. Perhaps she could learn something of the present inland state from her in turn.
In the weeks that followed Merlin's awkward tryst with Erzulie he felt drained and empty. Relief that everything was over and no one expected or needed anything from him had been short-lived. The toll of chronic stress and anxiety he had felt up to that point took full effect now. Not that he was physically tired - it was a different kind of exhaustion. A black-and-white soundless world, where he existed, perpetuated all the routine tasks and movements, but could not force himself to have a single emotion. Neither good, nor bad.
It took him a while to realize, what was going on, and, once he did, he accepted this new state without much fuss. What was normal for the majority was not "normal" for him. Erzulie had said that he had a right to live his life the way he wanted and the full force of that words dawned upon him slowly now. Rather than attempting and constantly failing to fit in, he simply needed to find a vertical, in which he felt safe and good about himself. Where he could calmly not give a damn about, what anyone else thought about him. And in this new emotionless state it had become easier than before. Not bothered by the directions of "where" and instructions on "how" anymore.
He was comfortable to exist in the present moment. Not feeling anything had been odd in the beginning. Now he wondered, whether the temporary death of his hyper-sensitive heart was a blessing? Wouldn't it be better for it to never wake up again?
Merlin was contemplating all this, looking over to the vast ocean before him, and because of the roaring waves he heard Rosalyn's approach only, when she had come very near. He turned to greet her with a small wag of his tail and a polite smile that did not reflect in his calm and distant gaze.
Rosalyn had crossed paths with Merlin here and there, but if there was anything amiss in the way he greeted her, she didn't notice it now. She was wrapped up in thoughts of scouting, of where they might go... and of how long it had been since she herself had left the territory. Months?
Merlin,
she greeted him, shaking some of the distraction. How are you?
Always such an empty question, generally followed by the obligatory 'fine' and a return. Yet occasionally she felt pressed to follow the formalities, as there were few other ways of checking in.
She had the sudden sensation there'd been a question she'd wanted to ask him, but it had slipped her mind. Perhaps she'd think of it, but for now it was simply a tingle of frustrating absence. Like a word she just couldn't find.
"Good," Merlin replied. In fact, better than he had been in a very long time, but Rosalyn - being the more of a straight-to-the-business type of person - probably was not interested in elaboration. He waited in respectful silence for her to say something else and only then did he add: "You look quite well yourself." This was not an empty phrase, but an observation that she could either deny or approve.
"Do you need my help in anything?" he asked next, because he found it easier to do things than to have conversations about them. He preferred to show his worth in deeds and not attempt to impress people with his faulty mental capabilities.
She responded with a slightly non-committal sound. It wasn't a terrible day so she wouldn't argue, and she appreciated the sentiment at least. Before her face had been ruined she'd been vain, and while she'd lost a good amount of it, compliments were rare enough that she took them as she got them.
I was looking for our newest member, to see if she wanted to scout some. But she seems to be elsewhere.
Rosalyn answered, with an offhand glance around. Just as well. Would that interest you? There's something I'd like to check on.
She'd not left in a long while, but with spring approaching, she'd have no repeats of past years. If there was any danger brewing she wished to head it off, and she wanted to ensure that no piece of that previous pack lingered and had drifted back towards their prior claim.
Always happy to do something than think, Merlin nodded in approval and got to his feet, ready to follow Rosalyn, wherever she was about to take him to. "What do you want to check upon to?" he asked her, in case she did not pick the subtle cue of interest about the destination. If it was a guardianship related thing, he would be of not much use - peeing on the borders aside, he had not sparred for a while now. But that did sound like an activity he could engage himself into. No emotions there, just business.
He seemed eager enough and she smiled subtly but gratefully. It would be far better if she didn't go alone. She gave a nod, indicating he should follow, and then pointed towards the northeast and the mountain that rose in the distance. When we first moved here, there was a pack that had an issue with our presence here. As far as I know, they are gone, but it never hurts to make sure they've stayed that way.
Rosalyn doubted they'd run into trouble but it was better to be ready than not. Have you seen many conflicts, in previous homes?
She'd feel better with him at her side either way, but she was curious if others had pasts as fraught as hers and her wife's.
An actual guardian stuff? Merlin paused briefly in his steps and looked over his shoulder, as if looking for someone. Probably Njord, with whom he shared the patrols the longest. But he was not within eyeshot, therefore the young man continued his walk besides Rosalyn. He would not say it out loud, but he did have some comfort in knowing that the responsibility of getting out of trouble, if such arose, would not rely solely on him. He had the fiercest Siren right here and all the scars on her face and body just showed, how many had attempted to take her life and failed.
"No... I lived with a bunch of dudes for a while though," he shook his head and pulled at that tiny string of memory that was still there telling about his past life. "They were rough, but never got in a fight or anything," and with no other visual signs of past ailments singing stories of glory about his past feats, he was pretty sure he had never suffered under fangs and claws of other creatures either.
He helped Rosalyn as long as she needed him and then retired for the night.