Wolf RPG

It was driving her a little mad, wondering if it was Screech parenting the children that should've been hers, along with Phox's and Niamh's. Part of her wanted to stomp right over to where they were all staying and rip those children from his clutches. But, of course, that was a terrible idea for so many reasons. She could hurt her brother (the one she actually loved dearly) and those innocent kids. For all she knew, she could actually endanger them too. And then there was the fact that Towhee couldn't bring herself to set foot outside the caldera, not since the rattlesnake.

Today, she channeled her negative energy into back to back patrols, recruiting @Caracal to keep her company on the second round. The Sovereign supposed she should be glad she felt more or less back to normal now, though it was hard to see the silver linings sometimes. She sighed, unable to just let it go. Regardless of who had raised Phox's pups and why, Towhee wished they would all get their keisters to the caldera. Everything else aside, she wanted to meet and get to know them. And they deserved the chance to reunite with their whole Redhawks family.

"Hey," Towhee barked suddenly. Trotting a few dozen yards ahead of her, Caracal ground to a stop and looked back at her. She pointed at a silhouette in the distance. -"What's that?"- she wondered aloud, exchanging a glance with her son before fixing her gaze on the figure, orange eyes narrowing into a squint.

Alyx didn't know why she hung around the Caldera borders like some kind of lost puppy. Meeting up with Fennec had been nice, but she really should be getting back to Sapphique now that her search was over. Except she didn't really want to go back there. There was nothing in particular about the seaside pack that had turned her opinion, but between being sick and then Phox's news, she hadn't been able to enjoy her time there at all. She'd definitely formed a negative association and felt a lead weight in her stomach at the thought of it.

So here she was, lurking around like some kind of creep. It would have been so easy to ask Fennec if she could just come home, but for some reason, she hadn't. Alyx was torn between going back out into the world on her own — something Bat had said to her before she left Triquetra played on repeat through her mind when she was most homesick — and coming back to wolves she knew. There were pros and cons to both. She knew if she did come home, it wouldn't be forever. It might not be for very long at all, but the familiarity would be nice, even just for a few weeks. But that was awfully selfish of her, wasn't it?

Alyx didn't get much of a chance to mull that over. She was still some distance from the borders, in plain sight but trying not to look like a loiterer, but she could see two patrolling wolves in the distance. From there, and with the heat shimmer distorting their figures, Alyx couldn't be sure who they were, but she could tell one of them was wrapped in Meerkat's colours. That made her heart beat a little faster — she wasn't ready to face her sister.

Except the silhouette was too small to be Meerkat, especially next to the dark figure that Alyx assumed had to be Towhee. Towhee or Phox, but Phox was at Yuelong. With no way of really knowing, because any number of dark and beige wolves could have joined the Caldera in her absence, she raised her leg and tentatively signed, Heya.

-A stranger!- Caracal alerted her, pivoting to lope back toward Towhee, closing ranks and forming a united front.

Towhee tipped her head to acknowledge his signaling, though she fixed her gaze steadily on the figure as it ranged closer. It was definitely a wolf, though she wasn’t so sure it was a stranger.

Her heart thumped in her breast as she wondered: Alyx? Or Quetzal? As she often did with her own set of twins, she tried to guess by body language. It was a little difficult from a distance, though when the yearling stopped and signed, Towhee immediately knew.

Alyx! she called out, smiling. She shot a sideways glance at Caracal and explained, You remember how I told you about Alyx, Q and Prim, right? His slightly quizzical expression suddenly cleared as he nodded.

Facing Alyx again, the Sovereign shouted and signed, -“Well get your ass over here!”-

Alyx was flooded with relief at the sound of her name in the familiar, monotone voice of her deaf other-mother. Not some strange new wolf, and not Phox either. That made her feel a little melancholy, but it must mean he really meant that he would stay at Yuelong until he received some news of Niamh. Which meant he must not have heard anything, either.

When prompted, Alyx loped across the border and lowered her head to butt it affectionately against Towma's chest. She pulled away enough so Towhee could see her sign, it's so good to see you! before turning her attention to the smaller wolf in their midst. Up close, he was much too red to be Meerkat, leaving her to wonder how she'd ever thought he could be her sister, but was instead a dead ringer for Wildfire, if Alyx had ever met her deceased aunt.

And who's this? she asked with a genial wave of her tail and playful duck of her head, addressing the boy more than Towhee.

Nearly the instant she waved Alyx over this way, it hit her that she might not know about Niamh's fate. Her expression became ashen even as the yearling loped over to join herself and Caracal. Towhee's heart clenched when Alyx butted against her, automatically reaching out to touch her nose to the girl's cheek. She looked so happy and healthy, which added to the Sovereign's silent heartbreak for her.

Fortunately, her son unwittingly provided an effective distraction. "I'm Caracal!" he declared, drawing his mother's eye to his puffed up chest. "State your—" he continued, faltering when he realized he already had her name but quickly recovering by finishing, "—business?" He shot Towhee a questioning look that bordered on sheepish.

Towhee laughed despite herself, reaching out to nudge his shoulder. She almost told him he didn't need to interrogate Alyx because she was family, but Towhee wasn't about to discourage her son's behavior. No, she definitely approved. And anyway, she was also curious what had brought Alyx here. She wanted to hear all about what was happening in Alyx's life before she dropped the news about her mother and siblings.

Facing the yearling again, Towhee tacked on her own inquiries. -"How are you, Alyx? And what brings you here?"- She told herself not to push but couldn't help but ask, -"Are you here to stay or just visiting?"-

As it turned out, not much was happening in Alyx's life. Not much had happened since she left the Caldera to join Sapphique in the early spring. It was kind of depressing, honestly, to think back and realize she was no further now than she was back then. In fact, it played across her expression in an almost crestfallen fashion, but only for a split second.

Caracal, she laughed back, lifting a paw and answering, I’m Alyx. She was surprised, but pleased, at the manner in which the pup addressed her. Already a little guardian, a chip off the ol’ deaf block. Her little brother, she guessed? Towhee wasn’t Alyx’s real mom, but she might as well have been, and that meant all of Towhee’s kids were automatically her siblings, regardless that they were actually cousins. Before she could answer, Towhee asked the same question, more or less, which made Alyx pause.

What was the answer, exactly? Well, she said, stalling for time, I guess visiting, maybe? I went looking for mom but never found her, and then I wound up with some relatives, um … do you know Bat and Tegan? Alyx had clicked immediately with her Blackthorn uncle-or-whatever-he-was on account of his unusual speaking habits, but it was actually Bat who planted the seed in her head. They said maybe I’d be a good leader someday and, I dunno, I don’t know how to start with any of that. So I thought I’d come visit.

Beneath her tone was another suggestion, however, that Alyx only knew several great leader who had never faltered in their duty. Rosalyn and Erzulie were great, but had plenty of their own children to teach, but Towhee … She certainly had her own kids, but she was also a phenomenal leader, and Alyx was also her kid, right? For now, it was an unspoken question that hung off her lower lip.

Both mother and son waited expectantly. Out of the corner of her eye, Towhee saw Caracal open his mouth to say something and she shot him a look, shaking her head. He froze with his mouth ajar, then clapped it shut, shifting to stand shoulder to shoulder with his mother as they gave Alyx a silent audience. The corner of the Sovereign's mouth twitched into a smile and she nodded approvingly, even as she kept her focus on the yearling.

Her heart squeezed painfully when Alyx mentioned searching for Niamh. Her lips parted but the girl wasn't done speaking yet. The mention of Bat and Tegan made Towhee's brows raise. All she could manage was a nod. She felt such a mix of emotions at hearing the latter's name, though much of the bitterness had faded in time. She wondered if she'd ever get to see him again, or if the last time was the last time. That would be a tragedy, considering how tight they'd been once, but wasn't that all really par for the course in her life?

She drew in a breath, focusing on the rest of Alyx's words. They actually stoked a vague memory. Hadn't Towhee once wondered if Alyx or Quetzal might make good leaders someday? She was pretty sure she'd entertained the thought, though obviously there hadn't been a chance to pursue it any further than that. But Alyx was here now, clearly seeking guidance of some sort, which reminded her of a conversation she'd had with Figment once upon a time.

-"You should stay a while, I could counsel you,"- the Sovereign suggested. It was a bit selfish but also genuine. -"And also because... Alyx, I'm really sorry to tell you this,"- Towhee said, shifting her weight and feeling her breath catch around a lump in her throat. -"But your mother died earlier this year, while giving birth to your younger siblings. They're alive and with your dad."- And, oh, there was so much more to the story she would tell Alyx if she wanted to hear it, though Towhee stopped there and held her breath, giving her space to process the news.

It's easy once you have a few friends to help, Bat had said with a wink and an elbow in her mate's side. Alyx wanted to believe her cousin, but the process of finding wolves to join her in creating a brand new pack seemed monumental. In fact, it seemed downright insurmountable, no matter how much confidence Alyx had in herself.

That was part of why she was here, the selfish part underneath the desire to see her family and share her lack of news. That should have been that. She should have been able to enjoy getting to know her cousin-brother and catching up with Towhee. But that wasn't what being a Redhawk was about.

Alyx could tell even before Towhee dropped the bomb that something was wrong. She couldn't possibly know the sheer depths of Towhee's misery, but it was impossible to overlook the way the Sovereign's figure seemed to sag under an invisible weight, even before the words left her mouth. But then they did.

Alyx's whole world came to a screeching halt, including her lungs, which forgot how to breathe for an entire twenty seconds while she just stared at Towma.

Niamh. Dead.

Her siblings were alive and with Phox. That should have been some consolation, but Alyx simply couldn't get over that former thought. Niamh was dead. Niamh was dead.

Niamh was dead she was dead she died she's gone—

Alyx's face was stony, but all the warmth was draining out of it, living her ears ringing and her mouth slack with disbelief. No, this was wrong, this couldn't be. She'd never properly made amends with her mom. She couldn't be gone.

Wh ... What? That ... That can't be.

She could see that Alyx was struggling with the news before she said a word. Of course she was. Towhee turned slightly toward Caracal and signed for him to leave the two of them alone for a few moments. The boy threw an awkward wave at Alyx before moving off into the distance, allowing the Sovereign to fully face her daughter from another mother. A dead mother.

-"I'm so sorry, Alyx,"- Towhee repeated. She knew Niamh and Alyx had butted heads—almost everyone who'd known her had had a row with Niamh at one time or another—but, of course, they'd loved one another. And Towhee knew how painful it was to lose a parent, a few times over. Her mind flicked ever so briefly to Finley and Elwood as she let out a breath.

-"I can tell you what I know, or we don't have to talk about it at all. It's whatever you need. But I do think you should stay here, be with family, for a little while."- She tried to catch Alyx's eye, her expression deeply sympathetic. -"Although of course that's totally up to you as well. Just—I'm here, okay?"-

It was much, much more painful than Primrose, which wasn't fair. Her brother's death had been hard, but also came when Alyx was injured and on her own emotional rollercoaster to boot. Rosie had flown under the radar somewhat, and by the time she'd allowed herself to hurt and grieve, he'd been gone a while and it was old news.

Niamh had been gone a while, too, but the news slugged her in the gut as if she had just passed away minutes ago. Alyx could keenly remember the last time she saw her mom. They'd said a tearful goodbye, but guiltily, she remembered expecting Niamh to be a lot harsher about her decision. She remembered thinking the worst of her mom more than once, especially when she found out Niamh had run off, and that came flooding back now as wave upon wave of sheer guilt. It was so strong it made her knees weak, forcing her to sink back on her haunches.

Had Niamh died thinking her family all despised her? Bronco certainly did, and Nellie hadn't been home for ages. Alyx and Quetzal both flew the coop the first chance they got, and Rosie ... Alyx was horrified at the thought of her mother's last moments being lonely ones.

There was a tightness in her throat that made it impossible to speak, so Alyx numbly nodded her agreement to stay. It was tempting to run and hide and pretend this nightmare wasn't happening, but wasn't like she could go far with that all on her mind. Towhee was right. She should be with family. Slowly, she looked dowm and signed, tell me what happened. It was likely going to be more painful than she could bear, but Alyx had to know.

Alyx wanted to know the details. Towhee drew in a breath to steel herself, nodding. It wouldn't be easy or fun, though she deserved to know. But before the Sovereign would indulge her, she thought they ought to move away from the borders and find somewhere more comfortable to sit. She silently motioned for Alyx to come with her, leading her deeper into the territory to sit her down and tell her everything she knew.

-"Your dad can probably tell you more, when he returns with the kids,"- she finished, eyes resting on Alyx's face. She wanted to move to sit beside her, throw an arm around her, but gave her room to breathe and process for the moment.

Alyx followed, blind and numb to the familiar caldera sights they passed by. She was never particularly fond of this place, but now the world felt like it was draining of all its colours, taking the rugged beauty of home with it. She made herself focus on Towhee's footsteps, placing her smaller paws precisely where the Sovereign's had been. If she focused only on that, things didn't feel quite so overwhelming.

It was a lot to take in. Everything Towhee told her left Alyx reeling. From the sounds of it, Niamh died naturally, which just didn't make sense — her mom wasn't that old, was she? Then Alyx remembered that Niamh had run away from home prior to that after some kind of altercation, and she wondered if it was possible for a wolf to die from sheer stress. Or maybe it was heartbreak?

The most shocking thing was hearing that someone rescued her baby siblings, only to lie to everyone for months about their identity and what happened to her mom. Now they were probably old enough to be messed up over it. Phox was a saint for being able to forgive them for that, because Alyx's insides churned with rage at the very idea. How could someone do that, knowing full well their real family was searching desperately for them ...

She didn't get to finish the thought or even respond to Towhee, much less acknowledge her (only living) mom's eyes on her. All she could do was unsteadily rise and plod into the nearest bush to blow chunks.

Alyx rose shakily without a word, Towhee's eyes following her, lips twisting into a puzzled moue. Her expression shifted into a sympathetic grimace when she shuffled over and heaved into a bush. Unaware of how grateful she should be for being unable to hear one of the worst sounds in the world, the Sovereign just kept an eye on her until she emptied the contents of her stomach.

"Whenever you're ready, let's go grab a drink," Towhee gently suggested, not bothering with signs since Alyx wasn't facing her, "and then I'll take you to the Hobbit Hole so you can rest." At that point, she would see if Alyx wanted something to eat, though she wasn't going to ask about food mere seconds after she vomited.

Towhee turned to peer over a shoulder, scanning the landscape until she spotted Caracal still hovering in the distance. Well, he was pacing. She lifted a foreleg in a wave to grab his attention, then signed, -We're headed to the Hobbit Hole, if you wanna head that way. We'll be right behind you.-

Caracal kicked his heels and zoomed away, leaving Towhee to face her elder child again. She would wait patiently until Alyx was ready.