Somewhere in the Greatpine Wildwood where the cliffs overlooked the sea, Sobo lay whittling a stick with his teeth.
It was imprecise work. The early evening sun cast long shadows in the forest, making it difficult to see exactly what he was doing. His teeth notched the wood in a messy fashion. The imprints he made in it were unevenly spaced and sized, nothing like that he had imagined in his head. It was his first time attempting to make markings in wood, to create some sort of totem from the sequoia trees that towered over the coast, and it was turning out much harder than he ever imagined it could be.
Sobo dropped the stick against his upturned ankle to inspect it, then scowled and scoffed. It was a wreck! Not good for anything. He took it again into his teeth and ground down, splintering the stick with several clean, sharp snaps.
She wended along the sea cliffs, stopping every now and again to watch the sunset playing over the ocean. Meerkat couldn’t help but feel like she’d found a small slice of paradise here, between the setting and her courtship with Njord.
Something cracked like a gunshot through the nearby stand of trees. She glanced in that direction, then slowly made her way toward the sound. When Meerkat discovered one of the pack’s youths—she was pretty sure his name was Sobo—the sight of him struggling with a stick prompted a flashback.
Frowning thoughtfully as Wayfarer’s voice shouting, “Ugh, I hate her!” echoed in her memory, Meerkat woofed to announce her presence, then sidled a little nearer to Njord’s lookalike and offered a smiling, Hey, you’re Sobo, right?
The fragments fell away from his jaws. He probed a stinging spot in his gums with his tongue where the wood had jabbed and brought blood to the surface. Payment for his lack of patience. He deserved that.
He glanced up when someone called his attention nearby and was unable to hide the sudden scowl at the sight of Njord's little lady. He knew he was being uncharitable and that it was unfair of him to judge her by his da's foolish behaviour, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't help thinking of how Mireille was cold, alone, and frightened on that island while Njord was (he assumed) too busy sucking face with some little lass to search for her when he was supposed to be the seafarer.
Who be askin'?
he wondered, sweeping the shattered bits of stick away from him with a flick of his paw before he settled a level, cool stare on her. Miraculously, he did not feel the slightest bit nervous or shy, perhaps because he was too busy feeling indignant for how she had distracted his da. He was not the dominant sort, choosing to defer without much effort to most members of Sapphique, but for once he unabashedly held another wolf's eyes and refused to let his drop.
She was met with a scowl and a testy retort. Since her conversation with Erzulie, she had prepared herself to be met with some resistance from Njord’s offspring. Nonetheless, it still shook her slightly to be met with such unfriendliness. Sobo glowered at her and Meerkat let her eyes drop, drawing in a breath before looking back up at him.
She offered a patient smile. Meerkat Redhawk,
she replied. She found she badly wanted to win him over, preferably without patronizing him. She’d struck a rapport with the Duskfire youths in part because of their young ages. It stood to reason that it might be a little more challenging with wolves on the cusp of adulthood, even without any preconceived notions.
An idea struck her. It may or may not work but she decided to try it out. Could I bother you to help me with something? I’d like to find a gift for Njord, just something small. But I can’t think of what he might like. You know him better than I do,
at least thus far, so maybe you could help me come up with something…?
Sobo saw in Meerkat a threat to the connection he wished to have with his father, and from fear, he built myriad assumptions: the assumption that Njord had stopped looking for Mireille, the assumption that he would stop caring about his children, and the assumption that one day he would leave like so many others did. All of these things were unfounded and most of them were untrue, but they were very real to Sobo, who desired a relationship with his father despite being Erzulie and Rosalyn's child first and foremost. A lot of it had to do with feeling out of place as a man in Sapphique; Njord was his role model and idol, and Sobo felt like he was slipping away, the same jealous feeling he had had when Mireille went to hunt the caribou with girls who did not like him.
For those reasons and more, he was not inclined to help Meerkat get closer to Njord. She was welcome in Sapphique, but he had no interest in being friends with her so long as he believed she would rob him of his da Njord. Perhaps that was the reason he did not feel shy in her presence.
I t'ink you know him plenty well enough,
he said, scanning the ground nearby for another stick. He found one and pulled it toward him in a ponderous manner, almost as if he meant to dismiss her outright, but before he slotted it in his jaws, he added, he not be de man I knew anyway. Ya go ask him what he be wantin' an' leave me out of it.
She braced herself in case he reacted poorly to her invitation, though despite her efforts, his dismissal still stung. Meerkat wasn’t sure whether it was best to simply respect his wishes and take the easy way out by making herself scarce or—keeping Erzulie’s request in mind and knowing it would mean a lot to Njord too—she should keep trying.
Meerkat chewed at the inside of her cheek for a moment, eyes idly following Sobo’s movements as he looked around for another stick. With a sharp intake of breath, she decided to directly address something he’d said and asked, genuinely curious, What do you mean, he’s not the man you knew?
Sobo stared back at Meerkat with all the frigidity of her former glacier home and debated ignoring her question. It was none of her business, and anyway, he didn't even know what he meant by it. It boiled down to his insecurity welling to the surface, and how could he possibly explain that? What if she refuted everything he believed? Or what if she confirmed it? Sobo in his stubbornness did not want to face this reality.
What do ya t'ink he be? Hmm?
he asked, digging his incisors into the stick and nearly snapping it in two with the force of his bite. Most of the time he was a well-meaning wolf, if a little grumpy, but sometimes he could have a temper. This was not the first time he had felt such blatant dislike, but unlike Druid, Meerkat had done nothing to deserve it. He knew that deep down, but this was easier than grappling with any possibility that Njord would cut ties to pursue a new life.
The way he looked at her with such loathing really hurt her feelings. She swallowed. Meerkat was aware she didn’t really deserve such dislike, though she could understand how Sobo might feel otherwise. Njord’s love wasn’t finite, though his attention and time were. She was taking those things from the other important persons in his life. It was only natural for some of them—particularly the younger ones—to resent her, a stranger, for that.
Trying to keep that in mind, Meerkat weighed Sobo’s question. There was probably no way to answer it that he would find acceptable, but he’d asked, so she answered, Njord? He’s one of the kindest wolves I’ve ever met. That’s a a super lame word, only half a step above ‘nice,’ but I really mean it. I’ve met a lot of wolves but few are as decent as him. He has a good heart and I can tell he cares a lot about you guys. He was distraught when Mireille went missing, for instance. He wore himself out looking for her. And he still found the bandwidth to comfort me when I needed it, because that’s just the kind of man he is. He and I haven’t used the word ‘love’ yet, but I can tell he feels strongly and loves fiercely.
She paused to breathe and gather her thoughts before continuing, And I know that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I don’t actually know your da that intimately just yet. That’s why I came here: to get to know him better and figure out if we make a good match. And for me, part of making sure we can be happy together is getting to know the wolves who mean the most to him, like you, your brother and sisters.
Partly fearing his inevitably negative reaction, Meerkat tried to head it off a bit by concluding, But I don’t want to force myself on you or anything, Sobo. I genuinely want to get to know you, not just because you’re Njord’s family but because you’re my pack mate. That said, if you want me to leave you be, I can.
Meerkat surprised him then. So she did know something of his beloved da after all, but Njord spent his time with her instead of family when one of theirs was missing, so Sobo still thought he was changed. A little voice in the back of his head tried to remind him that he was only assuming things, that thinking it was true did not make it so. There was no evidence that Njord was pulling away. There was no evidence he had given up searching for Mireille or that Meerkat was more important than everyone else. Sobo ignored it all.
But she struck a chord, identifying that which made Njord so loved by his children both true and adoptive, so for a long time after she finished and offered to leave, Sobo could only look at his sandy paws and pull his brown ears back against his nape. He did not feel ashamed, exactly, but it was close. Not close enough to crack his shell, though.
Da Njord cares for his family,
Sobo agreed, an' den you come along, an' den he cares less. He did not find Mireille on de island even dough he be de seafarer, de one who de shepherd of de sea chose. He brought ya home an' dat is all he cares about now.
He knew the minute the words left his mouth that he was being unfair to Njord now, for surely it was not true, but he couldn't take it back. A small part of him warmed to know she cared so deeply about his da, but despite that, he dug his heels in. His stubbornness sharpened into something more.
Ya be welcome in Sapphique, an' da Njord chooses ya. But ya are not zanmi to us unless de ot'ers t'ink so.
If his littermates thought she was good, then he would let up his stubborn insistence, but until then, he meant to hold her at arm's length, like the da he thought she would steal away.
Her lips parted to immediately refute his assertion. That was absurd! But Meerkat pressed them back together to let him finish. It was very difficult, not to interrupt him, yet she reminded herself not only to resist the urge to cut in to defend both herself and Njord but to actually listen to understand, not just respond.
When he fell quiet, she did speak right away. By the time she decided on what she wanted to say, Sobo spoke again. She nearly forgot what she intended to say, the welcome followed by an utterly unfamiliar term both catching her by surprise.
I’m sorry, I don’t know that term. What does it mean?
she queried.
Meerkat said nothing to refute or confirm his suspicions. She said nothing at all, which made Sobo feel a little better and a little worse all at the same time. It meant she was listening to him, a credit he was willing to give. He worried that he was right. After all, Sobo belonged to Rosalyn and Erzulie. It was not wrong for Njord to see this, to know his place as da was more of a consolation prize than a real relationship, and want more for his life.
Sobo just wanted his father. His mothers were enough, of course they were! He loved them both fiercely. But they were not a father. They could not help Sobo find his place in Sapphique for they did not know what it was to be a man upon cliffs where women ruled. Njord did.
Crunch! went the stick. He had bit down too hard again. Sobo flung it away from himself off into the trees with a new scowl. Admittedly, some of his attitude toward Meerkat had more to do with his own mood than anything she or Njord had done, something she might pick up on with this display of impatience. Zanmi,
he repeated. It means friend.
She flinched a little at the loud crack! Her eyes followed the stick as Sobo sent it sailing. She worried that he might splinter his gums but didn’t dare voice that concern.
He told her that it meant “friend.” Meerkat seemed to consider this a moment before nodding and saying, Okay, I understand.
Erzulie had told her Sobo might be the hardest to win over and Meerkat knew it would be worth the effort of earning his trust, hopefully someday.
Also?
she spoke up a moment later. I’m pretty sure your da likes me, maybe even a lot. But there is no one and nothing on this earth that could make him stop caring about you, or make him love you any less.
Even though she felt a little discouraged by Sobo’s cold shoulder, Meerkat also felt a little hopeful too. She smiled and waved her tail, hoping he would heed her words. Njord might not be their typical father figure, but she knew how much these kids meant to him.
Well, I’m gonna go look for that gift, I think,
she announced, turning to go but doing so slowly, in case Sobo had any last words for now.
Now Sobo truly did dismiss Meerkat with a soft tch in the back of his throat. He felt a little bad for his treatment of her when she announced her departure and turned away, but it was brief and overshadowed by distrust. He was not a spiteful creature at heart, but when it came to Njord, he was prickly as a porcupine.
He got to his paws and stalked away, tiring of gnawing on sticks. Meerkat's words remained with him for some time. He ought to be happy his da had found someone so supportive. She could have been selfish. She could have asked him to leave instead of coming here.
But all he could think about was Njord bouncing around like a puppy at the borders while Mireille huddled on that island all alone; maybe it was time to speak with his da.