Wolf RPG

She felt… weak… as if the month of buildup to a spar meant to compare to that of a man like Dimitri had fizzled out with her panic and subsequent poor responses to her own past. The more she got away from it, the more she had realized that it hadn’t involved Glaukos at all. Even if Kallik had insisted he shouldn't have done it. Even if Ruenna apologized for his actions... it had been her own panic to set her off, even if his actions were not necessarily up to code, she should not have panicked as she had. She felt guilty for the accusations that had burned in her own mind while she was in the moment, even if she had clarified with those she had spoken to that he hadn’t tried to do anything other than sit on her like that and not misrepresented that to others… she felt guilty that the thoughts had even appeared in her mind.
 
She knew the Matrona and Imperator would not accept a man like that into their ranks, of course she did… and so she sought out the Imperator, her limp having much faded due to treatment and time. It was time to come clean. It was time to confess her own issues so the man might understand a potential threat who might one day or not at all cross the borders. God, she felt so anxious.
 
She needed to do so before he was holed away with Ruenna, knowing the woman would be keeping him quite busy in the coming days as they tried for their first litter. With the possibility of Ruenna’s children on the way very soon, it felt like an important conversation to have. She’d take up extra patrols personally, even if patrols had never really been part of her job description, to ensure the safety of everyone in Mereo. She had little doubt that if her ex did show up someday, he would not simply stop with her blood.

It did not take her long of trying to find the man before his imposing presence was detected. She set a hard line on her face, and the way he walked with purpose told her that he was looking for something. Aquene knew he had better things to be dealing with in this moment; she knew Ruenna would be waiting for him to return home…
 
He was always hard to read, but especially not. “Imperator.” She greeted, a gentle nature to her tone as she often adopted when she was not in the midst of her training. Now that the man was in front of her… she felt her own resolve weakening. “I think Lady Ruenna was looking for you.” She stated softly, a knowing edge to her tone because she simply did know… and so did Towhee but that was the extent of her HIPPA violations. She had even kept the information from Kallik during their night together.
 
Apart from her attempt to pass everything off as normal, she was tense. There were hints of nerves underlying all of her actions in that moment, even if she did not intend it. She had no way of knowing what had unfolded, the impulsive actions Kallik had taken after she recalled telling him not to get into too much trouble that day when he left that morning… but she did have her own reasons to be nervous.

For the second time today, Ruenna was headed to the tablinum. It surprised her to see Germanicus moving in the same direction, outstripping her halting, limping gait with his purposeful strides. This time of day, he was usually outside of the canyon running patrols or working the auxilia in the training grounds. Ruenna continued on, and when she reached the tablinum she heard Aquene say her name. 

"I'm here," Ruenna spoke. Her estrus had developed further since she and Aquene had spoken that morning, perhaps aided by the herbs Aquene had provided. Ruenna had come back for the pain remedy Aquene had promised, but perhaps she should have just stayed in the suite she shared with Germanicus. As she came to a stop and her scent saturated the area, she realized just how potent she had become. It would not be a good idea for her to continue to wander the canyon, distributing this scent... especially with how high nerves and hormones seemed to be running.

It appeared her statement had not been false… Ruenna appeared, voicing her presence as she turned. The woman’s presence made her relax, some of the tension fading out of her muscles. It was not that she did not trust the Imperator, that was not the case. She’d trust him with her life… simply the nature of her relationship with the Matrona felt closer. There was a very clear structure within the soldiers and with his role as the Imperator whereas the relationships amongst civilians simply felt closer and friendlier.
 
But it was her name that he stated, a frown on her features. Her eyes widened in both alarm and concern at the mention of Kallik and Glaukos fighting. Damn it, Kal. The thought rang in her mind… had she not teasingly called out after him to not get into trouble? Perhaps she should have stated it instead. It had been him to encourage her to talk to Ruenna and Germanicus to begin with, but then he had taken matters into his own paws… she frowned in that moment, and she nodded to confirm his words.
 
“I… I don’t think it was intentional… I just…”It didn’t change the fact that it had made her uncomfortable in a way that spars with Arsenio, the Imperator, Kallik, and Towhee had not. “He did what?” She had never seen him get violent. “Are they okay?” Did they need treatment? Her mind felt pulled two different directions, between storytelling and her duties to ensure the health of everyone in Mereo, regardless of the kinds of interactions she’d had with them.
 
“I… yes. I asked him for a spar… he is most comparable in size to a man… one from my past... one I fear. I thought a spar, learning how to fight someone that size might soothe worries and fears that have been creeping up lately.” She confirmed, growing quieter as the tale went on. She did not expect the Imperator to be surprised after her pointed questions about facing larger opponents during the last session. “He won… I went limp, just as I do in any spar when I accept defeat but he didn’t move away. He moved closer; his limbs closed around me and he straddled me… I panicked and yes, I was afraid. I didn’t know what was going on; I kicked him there and when he was doubled over in pain I ran… Kallik found me in a panic. I told him what happened but I didn’t think he was going to go attack him. He told me I should find both of you, report it to you… I explained all of this to the Matrona earlier in the day.” The way she stuttered through the explanation of the spar after confirmed her discomfort with the entire situation. She turned her attention to Ruenna, an almost pleading look in her eyes. She was always so much better with words, always knew what to say and in that moment, Aquene found her mind muddled and so she looked to the woman for some kind of help.

Aquene was well loved in Mereo, and it did not surprise Ruenna that there were those who would stick up for her-- particularly the man with whom she had shared quarters last night. Ruenna was surprised that tempers had spun out of control so quickly though. Kallik always seemed so cold and aloof; it was hard to imagine him instigating an impassioned battle. Ruenna had thought it would be fine to wait until the evening to discuss the incident with Germanicus, as that was when they usually debriefed the day's events together. Clearly, she had miscalculated. She had sat on the information, and blood had been spilled.

Aquene bravely recounted the incident to Germanicus, and Ruenna was proud of her for the attention she paid to the details that Germanicus would need, despite the lingering pangs of panic that would clutch at her heart. Ruenna knew the feeling all too well. 

Aquene shot a near-pleading look to Ruenna, and Rue stepped forward to offer a gentle nudge of comfort. "You have not done anything wrong, Aquene," she assured her, not for the first time today. "You listened to your instincts and acted to protect yourself. That is exactly what you are being trained to do." Perhaps it would console her, knowing her training here seemed to be having the desired effect. At least Aquene hadn't frozen, or broken down, or lashed out savagely in the moment. Her action had been swift and decisive, and she had used an appropriate amount of force given the situation. 

"I wish I had passed on the news of this incident as soon as I received it," Ruenna was apologetic when she spoke again, her gaze darting between both Aquene and Germanicus. "Perhaps the violence could have been prevented..." Honestly, she doubted her own words even as she spoke them. Young men of a certain age knew only one way to settle differences of opinion.

the imperator listened.

aquene carried with her bitter memories and they influenced how unsteady she seemed now. germanicus understood now how glaukos had indeed carried on unnecessarily. despite his great size he was as brainless as any other young man his age. it still did not explain why kallik had reacted so fiercely.

the eagle chose to assume that there was a measure of feeling or infatuation on the part of the pale soldier. it was the end of his thinking upon the matter. he did not know what had transpired between the pair during this time of comfort. "your actions were appropriate for the situation, aquene." his voice was measured. "glaukos should not have prolonged your spar nor escalated it. the situation will be handled."

his yellowpaint eyes rested on ruenna. germanicus was thankful for a moment to look at her. she seemed rather gilded next to him, her steady tones imbued with something he did not understand. the idea of returning to mete out his sentence to the soldiers before he retired to their domicile with her was excruciating. 

"young soldiers with hot blood will fight at the drop of a leaf," the imperator murmured to both the matrona and the medicus. "if there is a conflict to be had it will be had." this was the reality of things. such conflicts could not be avoided if they were meant to occur. 

kallik had spoken and told him he trusted no one within mereo. by extrapolation he did not trust glaukos. it was a hole in the armor germanicus meant to cultivate.

the struggle inside him had renewed. irritation welled against the carefully constructed walls of his long-held control. his thoughts felt as if wind were attempting to lift carefully inked parchment from its organization. "they will be well enough," germanicus confirmed. the two were not so in need of medical care as they were instruction.

"i am happy that you trust the matrona. it is good that kallik made an attempt at self-control." was this praise? he meant it to be. "thank you for telling me even the difficult portions of what happened." he needed to step away. "lady ruenna, i will join you when i have addressed the two."

germanicus cleared his throat and set an apologetic look of his own upon her before he nodded to both aquene and ruenna, willing himself to be still until both had answered and aquene had felt a that a resolution would be given.

The leader’s gaze felt steady and measured… she had come to expect nothing less though in that moment it felt more… intimidating than it had before. Perhaps it was the scrutiny of everything that had transpired that was affecting her… but she did feel an ease of tension fade with the Matrona’s words, and further the Imperator confirming that which she had been already told: her actions were appropriate, and she had not overreacted. She had reacted the way she had been trained: careful measure. They worked well together; in that moment, Aquene could not help but admire and appreciate it.
 
Where Germanicus could be a firm hand, a tactician through and through with strategy on the brain, Ruenna handled situations with grace and poise, empathy seeping into her in ways she was not entirely sure Germanicus was capable of. The question caused attention once more. “Are their injuries severe?” She worried once more about the stores lasting until the thaw, especially since soldiers were trying to dismember each other on her behalf. It appeared her promise might be broken, though no doubt she would be able to tell @Kallik that assuming she treated his wounds. It was looking like it might be a late night after all.
 
Germanicus was quick to dispel, insisting they were well enough. The concern was still there… and then there was praise, one she no doubt would mention to Kallik if the patriarch did not mention it first. She felt a pang of guilt, knowing the activities this mess was keeping them both from. She would offer condolences of such, at least to the Matrona whom she felt comfortable discussing such a topic with, at a later time. "Thank you." Was all she could offer back when he thanked her, her voice quiet. She knew the importance of conveying detail, even if it lingered like a hot iron in her throat and burned. She’d had experience with it before, with much harsher circumstances. Chenoa had provided her comfort and medical attention a number of times, and Aquene herself had provided similar care for others.
 
He stepped away, promising his return to the Matrona and Aquene offered a nod, a dip of her head in respect to the man as he turned to leave. She trusted him to handle it the way he saw fit… but she worried a physical punishment would put strain on whatever injuries they had drawn in blood and make them more severe. Either way, she did not voice it. It was not her place, her attention turning to the Matrona. “I’m sorry for the mess I’ve caused, especially on tonight of all nights.” Even if it had not been intentional, she did carry some of the blame and she knew that.

Germanicus and Ruenna were of the same mind; this was a relief. She was, for the most part, ignorant of whatever took place in the "punishment ground" and glad of it-- she trusted Germanicus to appropriately handle discipline in his ranks.

Germanicus left them, and his parting words caused Ruenna's pulse to quicken for a just moment. On any other night, those words would have just been words, but tonight, they felt like a promise of more. 

Ruenna shook her head, dismissing Aquene's apology. "If it was not this, it would have been something else. This is only to be expected with young soldiers who lack an enemy." Ruenna paused, and then added apologetically, "I wonder if I'm to blame for any of this, spreading this scent around and getting the men agitated."  What if this was the reason for whatever Glaukos had tried with Aquene? Ruenna would be unable to forgive herself.

"Maybe my medication should be delivered to my den," she suggested. She hated to add one more thing to Aquene's list of responsibilities, but it might be best if Ruenna kept herself sequestered for the rest of the week.

Aquene had no idea how they would be punished, but she trusted that this was not the last she had seen of either of them. Soon, they would need treatment if they tore flesh to ensure nothing become infected from the coarse and free flowing sand of the canyon… and punishments? She had seen the damage moving that damned boulder could do both on a psyche and on the joints… still, she tried not to let herself think about it. She’d ask Kallik when she saw him next and hope it was not too bad.
 
She frowned softly at the words. They were an army without a purpose, an enemy to fight simply did not exist… a part of her was relieved but the other part of her worried that there would be more escalations than this. Aquene shook her head when the Matrona. “The fault is hardly yours, Ruenna. You’re preparing to bring the Imperator children. A simple scent change, no matter how alluring, does not warrant this degree of irrationality… I should have made Kallik promise he would not do anything rash.” She had never directly said it, merely implied it but when feelings ran deep, judgement was clouded… she knew that better than anyone. “He gets… protective. And he’s a young soldier… meaning he does not always think before he acts.” She simply left it at that. She’d seen impulsivity before of course, she just wished that she’d found a way to rein him in to spare him this.
 
The suggestion came and Aquene broke her gaze to offer a smile and a nod. “Yes, of course.” She stated, not minding at all. It would be time, she figured, until Germanicus was done ripping both of them a new asshole verbally. “I can prepare it right now and meet you there.” She would be gone before the Imperator returned to ravish his wife; there were certain things a healer simply did not need to be present for.

Ruenna nodded, accepting Aquene's logic that the fight was no fault of hers, despite her approaching heat. And yet, in almost the same breath, Aquene took the blame onto herself, stating that she should have requested Kallik's word that he wouldn't act rashly. Wasn't that just like two women, to jump at the chance to assume the blame when when it was the men who actually made the mistake? 

"Oh Aquene, you couldn't have known this would happen. How about this: I won't blame myself if you don't blame yourself either." There was warmth and just a touch of humor in her gaze.

Ruenna's expression would take on a look of knowingness as Aquene spoke of a young soldier's instincts. She knew very well that the soldiers could get rowdy, and they were especially likely to turn on one another when there was no common enemy towards which they could direct their energy. Not that Ruenna wanted war, but it would help sort out everyone's loyalties, she felt. 

Aquene suggested she go to her suite to await the delivery, and Ruenna nodded resolutely. "Thank you, Aquene."  She would then take her leave, and she would not walk Mereo's grounds again until her heat had passed.