Wolf RPG

As expected, once his wounds were treated and his pain was dulled, the auxillary had passed out. He had stayed that way for the better part of fourteen hours, waking finally to the afternoon sun streaming into the tablinum. 

He shifted and winced. He was sore now that he had rested, and so thirsty. 

There had been no time to really talk, just the two of them, the day before. The imperator and Glaukos were there, and he was scrambling to stay conscious as the edges of his vision started to blur. The exhaustion was better, but he needed water and he needed to see @Aquene. 

He pulled himself into a sitting position, releasing a pained grunt as he moved. His glassy eyes searched for the healer and his stomach rolled with nausea.

Aquene had not gone far, simply to the pelt lingering in the corner near the herb stores themselves as she had passed out not long after she had seen them to sleep. It was never a dull moment. She had woken multiple times throughout the night, simply keeping an eye on them, Kallik in particular, and checking on their wounds. She was laying her head down, eyes closed but not asleep when she heard his pained grunt. Her head lifted, ears perking as she moved over to him.
 
She’d brought him a rabbit. Food was just as important for healing as any of her treatments. “Take it easy. Your body has been through hell.” She encouraged softly, her nose tenderly brushing against his cheek after setting the rabbit down at his feet. “How do you feel?” She asked softly again, both from a medical perspective but also simply from the realm of a concerned girlfriend. She had missed him, but her worry was overpowering her relief of his return in that moment.

She brought him a rabbit, but eating was the last thing he felt like doing; he'd probably just bring it back up anyway with the way he was feeling. Kallik leaned into her touch as she instructed him to take it easy. Taking it easy would be difficult for the auxillary especially after a few days of resting. 

Aquene asked how he was feeling and he wouldn't lie. Nauseous, he said first, eyeing the rabbit and wrinkling his nose. And really thirsty. His mouth and throat were dry. His stomach turned. I'm okay, though, he promised. How do you feel? she was injured too, and now she had to take care of him and Glaukos. Their care would stretch for days, and he hated that she had to stress herself while also hurt. He wondered if she had others to help her.

She knew taking it easy was easier said than done. She herself had been the living embodiment of the phrase ‘doctors make the worst patients’ because she could not help but try to move around… still, she would not hesitate to tell the Imperator that if he wanted them to fully recover, they would need to take it easy until their wounds had fully healed. Better a week of little activity than two less auxilia.
 
The statement came and she offered a sympathetic smile as he wrinkled his nose at the food she had brought. “Let me help you over to the pool… I can give you something for the nausea but food is ultimately going to be the best thing for you.” She would encourage him to eat to help regain his strength. “I am okay; it still hurts a little, but I’ll be recovered soon. Tamar and Malila have been great helps in the meantime.” She assured him softly, simply enjoying the warm embrace of his touch, even with the state they were both in. She didn’t state it, but she had been through worse and turned out okay. This would be nothing in the long run. She nudged him slightly, encouraging him to stand and offering support to guide him to the water source at the back of her workspace.

He stood when she motioned for him to but tried to keep most of his weight off of Aquene. He could mostly walk, and he didn't want to strain her with his larger form. He had noticed her limp, and he refused to make it worse. 

He was thankful for the water when they reached it, and he lowered himself to the ground before drinking, afraid just lowering his head would be too painful. He knew she wanted him to eat but until his nausea abated, he wouldn't be able to. 

When he had taken in as much water as his stomach would allow, he looked at Aquene, his gaze soft but worried. I'm glad you have help. She certainly needed it now. How did you get hurt? he asked. He was not going to drop it, no matter how messed up he was.

Aquene refused to let the pain show on her face, adopting an icy wall of steel as she helped him over, even if she could tell he was trying to keep his weight off of her. As he started to drink, she moved to fetch the herbs for him in turn. Cinnamon bark should do the trick. Ideally she’d offer peppermint but she hadn’t been able to find any. She offered it to him, having also brought the rabbit back. She was not going to let food go, but she could give him time to let his stomach settle first.
 
She had managed to avoid talking about it outside of the descriptions she’d had to give to Germanicus. She had been hoping to keep it that way but once again, she should have known better. She didn’t want him to feel responsible. She had sensed the anger in him when he saw her hurt and could only imagine how he might turn it on himself if she admitted that while he was away, the very man she feared the most had turned up and attacked her. “There was an incident at the borders… I was attacked; Germanicus, Towhee and Malila arrived and helped fight back. Towhee and Germanicus chased him off but unfortunately he got away. I thought Towhee was going to kill him if I were honest. It was a little terrifying I've never seen her so serious.” She stated, purposefully leaving out the mention of who had attacked her.

She brought him some bark that had an interesting smell; it wasn't like anything he had smelled before and just the scent alone seemed to calm his stomach a little. Kallik picked up the bark a quickly chewed and swallowed, but he ignored the rabbit. She was stubborn just as he was, but he would still have to wait until his stomach felt better. 

He drank some more water once he was done with the bark, clearing the remnants from his mouth. Aquene started to explain what happened, and he could feel his anger rising with every word. He pushed a heavy sigh through his nose as tension tightened the lines of his face. She was attacked, and he hadn't been here. He had acted stupidly and left Mereo down two soldiers during an attack. Now Aquene was hurt, and he was partially to blame. 

Trying very hard to keep his voice calm, he asked: Who attacked you? Did anyone know him? He hated that they had gotten away, too. What if the attacker came back? He would need to heal as quickly as possible so he wouldn't leave the pack crippled if another attack happened.

She could see the emotions rising again and lightly nuzzled him to try and settle him down a bit. It wouldn’t be good for his injuries just as stress had not been good for hers. The question came and she hesitated, glancing at her own reflection in the pool for a moment before she sighed softly, turning her head back with a slightly pained expression that truthfully answered his question before the words slipped out. “I did.” She didn’t want him to know, but at the same time she refused to lie to him. He deserved the truth.
 
“It was Dimitri, my ex.” She explained softly. “Germanicus has been setting extra patrols and I’ve been avoiding going near the borders since it happened… there’s no doubt he’ll be back. When he does, he'll be put down.” He had promised he would be back but she was not going to tell him that. There was no reason to add more fuel to that fire. She was not going to give him a cause to try and jump up and push himself in ways that would only put him out of commission for longer. She was just glad he was back, and his presence at her side, even if he was injured and incapable of fighting, was enough to soothe some of her worries.

The look on her face made his chest tighten just as it made his anger burn hotter. Aquene knew him. Somehow he knew who it was before the words left her mouth. He sat up too quickly and pulled his wounds in a way that took his breath for a moment. Dammit, he growled out both in pain and anger. The familiar knot of shame tightened in his chest. He came here and I was away being punished, he said, his voice softening. All because he couldn't control himself, he was away when Aquene needed him most. 

I will kill him myself if he comes back here, he told her, ice and venom in his words. I am sorry, Aquene, he followed softly. He had failed her this time, but never again. He would think about this any time he thought he might act rashly in response to his anger. 

His chest burned and throbbed and his shame battered his mind. It was too much to feel. He tried to get up and walk back to the furs but he stumbled a little on the way and fell to the ground half on the fur and half off. He was too tired and painful to fix it.

He sat up and she went to stop him, a frown on her features as his voice softened. She nuzzled him softly in an area that wasn’t torn to hell from a feline in an attempt to comfort as she let him outlet his rage now. He attempted to get up and she went to follow him, helping support some of his weight as he stumbled and she sighed softly. She moved to drag one of the other pelts alongside that one. “Perhaps, but right now you’re going to lay down and listen to your doctor before you reopen any of your injuries. You’re going to get better and recover from your injuries before you even think about going after someone who has trained his entire life on how to murder other soldiers.” There was a hint of a protective sternness in her tone. They had both lost a lot of blood in their ventures to return to Mereo and she wouldn’t stand for him hurting himself more simply because he felt guilty about something beyond his control.
 
“You have nothing to apologize for. We knew it was a possibility he would find me; I thought I was in the clear with how long it had been… no one could have seen it coming.” She stated simply back, resting her head at his paws as she looked up at him. “I’m okay… sure, my shoulder hurts a little, and it hurts to walk far distances right now… but I am okay.” That was what she kept telling herself at least, that she was okay. “I’m just glad you’re home. I feel better with you here.” She admitted softly, even if she wished that it were in better condition.

He was quiet while she spoke, not at all surprised by her bossy tone. He actually felt a spark of amusement while she told him what he was to be doing. Warmth spread through his chest when he heard the protectiveness in her tone and in her words. He had only been thinking of his fear of losing her, but she had the same fear about him. He carefully adjusted as she brought another pelt over, leaving room for her to lay next to him. 

When she settled at his side, she tried to convince him that this was out of his control, and that she was fine. He wouldn't be forgiving himself any time soon, but he could table his guilt for now. Especially with the soft way she told him she felt better with him here. He nuzzled into her nape and drew in her scent; it calmed his anger and loosened the knot of shame. I am glad to be back, too, he murmured against her fur. I missed you. With everything out in the open now, he could finally take time to appreciate her presence, her warmth beside him, her careful tending to his wounds. She deserved so much better than him, but now he refused to let her go. He needed this too much, and he wasn't sure what he would do without her. I will do as you say, he told her gently. But you should be resting with me as much as you can. You have helpers for a reason. He knew she had been pushing herself to do her job; it was just how she was.

Her bossy tone carried her affection and her worries and manifested in a commanding nature. It was a voice she used often, even without the affection in it like she did with Kallik, whenever she had a patient who simply did not listen. She knew what she was talking about, her mother had seen to that, and she wouldn’t let him do more damage to himself simply out of guilt for something she would continue to defend was not his fault.
 
Still, her words seemed to settle him, and so she settled comfortably at his side, resting up against him while being mindful of his injuries. While she had given him poppy seeds during initial treatment, she had switched him back to scrub pine. She worried about addiction and only used poppy seeds in a pinch like they had been in upon his return. He had missed her too, a soft nuzzle returning his words, lightly against his neck away from his chest which was no doubt tender and still hurting from the infection and tedious process of cleaning the infection away.
 
She did not speak, not until he promised to do as she said, but his statement caused her nose to wrinkle and a frown on her features. “Helpers can only do so much.” She stated stubbornly in return. “Even Malila, with all I’ve taught her already, can only do so much. They haven’t trained their whole lives like I have; there are still a wide variety of situations that neither of them can handle. Right now I mostly have Malila going out to find herbs. I don’t want to go anywhere near let alone cross the borders right now, and I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I can’t go far distances.” Tamar had learned bits and pieces, but she was not formally training like Malila, and even then her young apprentice had not been training for long. “I promise, I’m only pushing myself as much as I have to.” He sounded like Germanicus when the Imperator had been encouraging her to rest.

He chuckled softly at her refusal to speak until he promised to do as she demanded. But his own request was met with excuses and a reluctant assurance that she was resting as much as she could. Hmm, he said, nipping at her jaw. I think you cannot take your own advice. She had told him to rest and in the same breath told him why she couldn't. He knew she was busy, but surely Malila and Tamar could pick up the slack a little while Aquene healed. It wasn't like they couldn't come find her for instruction if they were unsure how to treat something. 

More seriously, he asked: Are you okay otherwise? It had to have been traumatizing to find Dimitri at the borders. Just the thought of it had his anger rising again, but he kept it under control. I mean, have you talked about what happened with anyone? He hadn't been here, and he wasn't sure she would be as honest with anyone else. He had a feeling she had been using her work to avoid thinking about how scared she probably was. She didn't even want to leave the canyon, which he was thankful for, but it did speak to how she was feeling about it all, at least to Kallik. His touch to her cheek was gentle this time.

She frowned at his chuckle, and then he was nipping at her jaw and she could not help but to roll her eyes in a sassy manner to retort his claims. “I think sometimes doctors make the worst patients.” She defended, blaming her profession rather than accepting the personal responsibility that came with overworking herself in that moment. She went stir crazy, and while she knew that was normal, it felt almost personal to her instead.
 
At first, she did not understand his question, a frown on her features as she nodded. Apart from her shoulder, she was fine… but then the question came and she shrunk slightly, her ears pressing against her head as she whined softly which was enough of an answer in itself. She had not talked to anyone, not apart from giving a brief overview of the situation to Germanicus who was far from a shoulder to cry on. She had avoided the topic, rather. “I’m okay.” The tone of her voice told her that she didn’t really believe it as well… so she doubted that he would, her eyes drifting closed as he touched her cheek, focusing on his embrace rather than the question at hand. “I’m okay. It happened... I knew it was a possibility.”

She told him she was okay, but before her words had been a whine that told him differently. She hadn't talked to anyone, and Kallik knew that coping mechanism better than most. Avoid it so you don't have to feel it—that was his motto, but an unhealthy one. He battled with whether or not to push her to talk to him. She may not be able to deal with her fear yet, and he didn't want to cause her anymore emotional distress. 

She told him again that she was fine, that she knew this would happen. The auxillary frowned. Knowing it would happen does not mean anything. Another brush of his nose along her cheek. If you find that you want to talk about it, then I am here. Otherwise, he would let her deal with it her own way in her own time.

She knew the logic behind talking it out. She knew of all of the benefits it could wrought… but it was much easier said than done. It felt so much easier to push it down and repress the feelings that came with it. Bringing it up just transported her back there, and it was painful, and she didn’t want to feel any more pain. She just wanted to lay there and cuddle with her boyfriend and tend to his wounds. She found in that moment she wanted to talk about anything other than one Dimitri Callas…
 
And yet, she found herself taking his offer. If she could not confide in him, then who could she confide in? “He found me.” She repeated the basics. “He had another scent on his fur, another one I recognized… Ryzhov. He was his best friend, and just about the biggest misogynistic asshole you could ever meet.” She shuddered lightly as she tucked against him. “I know he would chase me if I ran, and I didn’t want to bring him into Mereo territory where he could come across Tamar, or Malila, or the Matrona… so I stood my ground, and I fought, and I called for help. Towhee responded first, and the Imperator was right on her heels.” She avoided placing her feelings on the matter, simply recalling what had happened in the first place. “It all happened really fast. He latched onto my shoulder and shook me around, tearing and doing everything he could to incapacitate me with it. I tried to get free but I couldn’t.”

Kallik could see her considering his words. He knew what she was holding inside had to be painful, but he also knew she had to want to share it. He could only try and make her feel safe. 

Then she started talking, and nuzzled her neck as she spoke, hoping to soothe whatever the story was bringing up inside her. His own anger burned in his chest, of course. He couldn't avoid it when she told him of how she had stood to fight her ex to keep him from coming inside, and Dimitri had grabbed her by the shoulder and shook her. It was very difficult to keep calm when he imagined that. Except it wasn't as difficult as it had been before; he was too concerned with remaining a safe presence for Aquene. 

Her last words had Kallik pulling her closer and wrapping around her as much as he could without hurting either of them. But you did, he reminded her. And you were brave. Kallik was proud of her. You are safe in Mereo, and you are strong enough to help us take him out if he returns. He hadn't let her go yet, he couldn't. He kept imagining returning and her not being here—it was more painful than the slashes on his chest.

She felt him nuzzle at her neck and it brought a soft content hum, comfort wrapping around her like a hug. It was peaceful. She couldn’t imagine how hard it was for him to hear these details, and it meant the world that he was willing to listen to them… she just hoped he didn’t blame himself in the process. It was not his fault, she knew that. Everyone knew that. No one could have predicted any of the events that had happened over the past week.
 
Her voice grew softer the more she spoke, an act of retreating into herself as he wrapped around her. She saw the restraint in him, avoiding disturbing either of their injuries. They were quite the pair at the moment, though at the moment she was far better off than he was. He assured her that she had been safe, and brave… she didn’t feel very brave. “I know… after it all happened, Germanicus came and assured me I didn’t have to do this alone, that Mereo would not hesitate to protect me and deal with him in the process.” She had been assured, and she felt safe. It was a strange feeling still.
 
“And I already knew that, deep down… I knew I was safe here, and I think it was why I allowed myself to be comfortable with the idea of staying at first… knowing he could find me if I remained in one place for too long.” And then she’d developed her own selfish reasons for wanting to stay: Kallik, helping the Matrona, gossiping with Towhee, learning from Germanicus, exchanging stories with Tamar, training Malila… somehow they had become her family without her ever realizing it.

He was glad the imperator had reassured Aquene after what had happened. He felt a little better about being gone, knowing that Germanicus had talked with her after the fight. 

But even though she claimed to agree with what he said, her tone didn't exactly match her words. He wasn't sure which part she didn't believe, but she moved on before he could dig deeper. 

And then she was telling him how safe she felt here, and how it had made her want to stay. A smile pulled up one corner of his mouth. Well, I am very glad you stayed, he murmured, releasing his hold on her a little so he could meet her gaze. He wasn't yet able to really put into words how grateful he was for her. He was lost and angry before, and now it felt like he could learn to be more than that.

It would take time; perhaps in time she could come to believe. She couldn’t help the way Dimitri had made her; it took time to undo the thoughts that had been placed in her head from a young age by those around her. He released her and she met his gaze, a soft smile on her features. “I’m glad I stayed too.” She murmured back, once again nuzzling towards the bottom of his chin. “And look at all this quality time we get cooped up in here.” She teased, if only to bring something good out of the situation.
 
“I haven’t said anything directly… but I’m fairly certain the Matrona knows about us… and that means the Imperator likely does as well.” She admitted, shifting the topic to something a little more lighthearted. “She was waiting for me when I got to the tablinum after our night together. She didn’t seem bothered by it even if we didn’t really discuss it.” She added hopefully. It seemed like she had been right; they were okay with this for now, or perhaps they just had bigger problems on their mind.

Kallik closed his eyes as she nuzzled into his chin. I cannot complain about that, he told her. If he had to be confined to rest for who knew how long, he was happy to have Aquene here with him. They had spent the last week apart, and now they would have most of every day together. 

She brought up the matrona and Kallik opened his eyes to look at her. She thought the matrona knew which meant the imperator probably did too. The matrona may not be bothered by it, but he was worried the imperator would not feel the same. It was even worse if he found out from someone other than Kallik. The auxillary had planned to talk to him about immediately after returning, but then he and Glaukos had been torn up by a cougar. I need to talk to the imperator about it, he told her, his tone losing any playfulness it had before. Sooner rather than later. I do not think he will be as lenient. Kallik knew exactly how Germanicus would feel about it—he would view it as a distraction and after the fight, a reason for him to lose control of his anger. 

He sighed softly. It is a problem for tomorrow, though. he nibbled on her jaw. He wouldn't waste this time worrying about what the imperator would say.

She had no complaints either. The past week had been painful and the worst timing imaginable considering it had been quite literally the week after they had started to explore things. His eyes were closed, and hers were half open. A nap down the line would not hurt her with how often she had woken up in the middle of the night.
 
She saw his eyes open, and she heard the playfulness fade out of his voice. “I do not think he would react as harshly as you think he will.” She stated back, a hint of confidence in her voice. “I still defend I think he’s rather you see someone in Mereo rather than out of Mereo. He can keep an eye on things here.” She would defend that until she was proven wrong, which she did not believe she would be.
 
“It is a problem for tomorrow.” She assured him, her voice trailing as he nibbled at her jaw, her eyes fluttering shut for a moment. “The only problem we need to worry about right now, or even today, is how you still have not touched the rabbit I brought you.” She needed him to eat.

Kallik was not so sure she was right about the imperator. The auxillia saw a different side to him than what the civilians saw. Maybe, he offered, but it would be obvious he didn't think she was right. But he didn't want to talk about it anymore. He didn't want to entertain her theory because he didn't want to have hope and then have it shattered. 

Aquene was happy enough to the change the subject too. No sense in going back and forth when the only solution would be to tell the imperator. So, it was a problem for tomorrow. 

She started talking about a problem they had today, and he looked at her curiously until she finished her sentence. His face softened. Oh, yeah, I think I'm okay to eat. My stomach feels much better. He would stand and retrieve it if he didn't think she would get upset with him. So he stayed put, assuming she would want to get it herself.

Aquene saw no reason to worry until there was a reason to worry. They had not received a no, and the Imperator had not brought it up at all nor had the Matrona… she would have liked to think the Matrona would have mentioned to her if there was going to be a problem. There were two schools of thought between the two, but it was important that she not catastrophize. That mattered in all aspects of her life.
 
She was relieved to see at the mention of her food that he did not revolt as he had earlier. She offered a nudge, glad he had the sense to not try and retrieve it himself. It surely would have earned him a worried glance or glare to warn him to stay put. She retrieved the rabbit, bringing it back over. “It’s not much but it’s easier to start small if you’re nauseated.” She offered simply as she settled back down beside him, content to just lay there and enjoy his company, watching him eat. She had missed this; she had missed him.

As expected, Aquene had wanted to get the rabbit for him, and Kallik received a nudge in thanks. 

For a few minutes, the auxillary said nothing. He just ate in the comfortable silence. Her warmth next to him made him realize just how much he had missed it while he was gone. There had certainly been no soft, warm, body to keep him content. 

When he had eaten a few bites, his stomach protested any more. So he moved on to plant kisses on her cheek and nuzzle into the crook of her neck. Did anything else happen while I was gone? he asked. Because he couldn't restrain himself, he continued pushing his nose through her fur to kick up the scent and draw it in. He wanted to commit it to memory in case they were separated again. He also wanted their scents to mix again, possessive as he was.