@Malila went ahead and got this up <3
they were alone. only the soft clattering of horns off in the distance, a sound that was slowly ticking into silence as the night grew in long hours.
he would not leave her alone out here. especially when that older man had proved that being out here wasn't truly being alone. she was of mereo and he felt rather inclined to make sure nothing happened to her — even away from the military base's claim.
i do not think you got a chance to tell my why you stray so far.
After filling in Phox as much as she knew about Mereo and answering his questions, she and Maxim now had a moment to themselves. She had not meant to ignore him. In fact, she remained highly aware of his presence close by. Now, he had her full attention.
Having moved a ways off so as to afford them more privacy and stay out of earshot, should Phox still be in the area, she faced him. Her delicate frame seated with her back towards a rough slate wall. "No. I wasn't expecting the night to turn out like this." She admitted quietly. Her eyes averted down to the ground at her paws. "I just...needed a breather. Room to think and reflect, you know?" She scuffed at the cold ground, knocking a pebble back and forth. "I mean, we all have moments like those, right?"
maxim did not have those moments, but he was hardly a man of emotion or much thinking. however he had become keenly aware that others were.
yes, i think.
he agreed gruffly but clearly attempting to...lighten her mood.
what are you reflecting?
His attempt to lighten her mood would not work. If anything, she wore her emotions with even more clarity than before. She tried not to look at him too closely. But still...the color palette of his fur. The green eyes. The combination reminded her so much of her long lost brother, Mohe. Made her wonder what he might look like now, all grown up. If he were even still alive.
She sighed. "I'll be honest with you." She tried to catch his gaze. "It is because I am doubting my place in Mereo. More and more, I am becoming convinced it is not for me."
a soft frown. not really...at her, but for her. maxim had never had a life of indecision. his choices had always been clear and he had always taken them. chased off from home. wandered into mereo. he had never really considered a life where he picked.
what do you want then if not mereo? have you...decided things?
he was genuinely curious now, as his head subtly tilted with eyes fixed to her.
Malila looked down again at her paws. It didn't last long, as she looked back to him another time. Her eyes were firm, filled with honesty. "Just...a lifestyle that doesn't feel so forced." She said, a twinge of exasperation in her tone, at just thinking about Mereo.
"There, I have only two choices. Be a solider, or be a wife." Her lips pressed into a line, ears turning back. Her expression became hard, almost defiant. "I am not a fighter. I never was. And I don't want to marry some guy at the drop of a hat, just because I have to. I need more freedom than what Mereo offers."
even emotionally rough maxim could tell this weighed upon malila deeply. she did not like the paths in mereo, what would be expected of her in either one. he wondered how she had even ended up there then, why she had even ended up there.
i...think they would understand.
he paused, furrowed his brows as he figured out how to support her without damaging mereo in any way.
perhaps talk to germanicus like you have me, he is understanding man.
meant to be small encouragement. he did not think having somebody unhappy in their ranks would bolster them anyway. selfish, perhaps.
where do you think you will go?
"I think they would." She agreed. She paused to think of how both leaders would react. Germanicus would almost certainly be disappointed, espescially given the strides she had made in learning to defend herself.
Ruenna would be too, she supposed. Malila sensed she would be more impartial, since the Matrona had been the one to lay down the terms. Terms, which stated she was free to take her leave come the thaw.
Possibly the most affected would be Aquene. She liked the woman. She had taken her time to mentor her, for which the girl was grateful. She could almost call her a friend.
"I will be speaking with Ruenna soon. And Germanicus as well. I am not sure where I will go, but I think I will stick close to the mountains, for starters."
he's not very good at this ;; could be a fade, doesn't have to be though!
how odd, he thought, to leave mereo but stay near the mountains. wouldn't she wish to see more of the world beyond the canyon? why leave only to stay?
he did not understand, but it was not his place to cast judgement.
i wish you well on your journeys. maybe you will...find what it is that you want, beyond mereo.
admittedly he was not much of a therapist beyond this, already so far out of his realm.