after throwing up a third attempt at a meal that day, teya dragged herself in the direction of the den that
@Eljay shared with maia.
she was so loathe to disturb either of them that for a good ten minutes the little violet could hardly approach.
and then teya breathed; she squared her shoulders, and asked politely for the
auspex to join her.
just for a minute. i have a question.
she had hundreds.
Eljay'd noticed that Teya and Reyes had spent a lot of time together, of course. He had his thoughts on it, but Eljay hadn't shared them with Teya or anyone, because he didn't want to assume too much. It was her business, after all. A little part of him was secretly excited though, because he really hoped that Teya had reconsidered her thoughts on having children this year. He tried to keep it back, just in case that wasn't the way it was at all, though.
When Teya's call sounded, the thoughts entered his head again. What if...? Eljay hurried to where Teya'd called for him. When she came into view, he thought he could notice the slight curve of her stomach, but perhaps it was only wishful thinking. Hey Teya,
he said with an open expression, waiting for her to start talking before he'd burst with excitement himself — it was only right not to assume too much, after all.
the nausea was kicking back up by the time that eljay arrived. teya sat down hard with relief and refusal to vomit in front of him. the woman's eyes shut for a firm moment; her throat bobbed with a swallow meant to keep the bile at bay.
"i sick. have been sick in mornings for a week now. maybe two. can not keep food down often."
all of a sudden her eyes were brimming with tears. to say it out loud seemed to confirm things.
but teya was not ready to believe.
"ate old meat from the elk. maybe — i sick from that." her coolwater eyes regarded eljay with a wary hope.
This wasn't how Eljay had expected Teya to respond. He thought that she might want to ask him if she might be pregnant. He thought that she might be excited about it. After all, why else had she stole away with Reyes during her heat? Eljay could not help but wonder when she asked her bashful questions if he had failed in his duties as midwife to inform her of the consequences. She looked up at him with a hope that was hard to crush, and so Eljay at first only brought out: Oh, Teya...
He drew closer, planning to embrace her in a brief hug if she allowed it. Then Eljay said: Have you uhm — considered other options of what it could be?
He regarded her, hoping that she would share her fears of the alternative. Hoping that he could talk her away from her fears if she really was pregnant (which, of course, he didn't know for sure yet; he hadn't actually checked her yet, but he had a hunch. it was hard to miss getting pregnant during heat).
as eljay hugged her, she was crying now, suddenly, hating herself for it. teya sobbed openly in front of him for a moment, only stopping to cover her face with a paw, shoulders shaking.
"there was no heat this year." she forced her voice to stay calm; it emerged ragged but otherwise. "uh — nothing." she shrugged. "not even hint."
teya let out her breath in a long, jagged exhale —
"you are midwife." her voice was somber. "can you tell me for sure?"
Eljay leaned a bit deeper against Teya when she started to sob. In his experience, crying was easier when you weren't looking directly at someone. When she wiped a paw across her face he took distance again and looked at her, a concerned frown on his face. He thought she might be happy if she was pregnant, but maybe Eljay was too wrapped up in his own point of view to realise that maybe Teya really didn't want children for herself.
She said there hadn't been a heat. Maybe he had mistaken his own senses, then, had assumed because she and Reyes had been so wrapped up with each other for some time. And maybe because he had only ever done the deed when there was heat, so he hadn't considered that they might have different routines where it concerned sex.
That's strange,
he admitted. He'd never heard of a case where someone conceived children without heat. Of course, I can check. How long ago has it been..?
He asked his question delicately, taking the entire matter in his paws carefully, with a pair of satin gloves. He moved towards Teya's stomach. Can I feel, look closer?
he asked, just to be sure that she was okay with it.
teya visibly tensed and then her body sagged against eljay's own. "two weeks. maybe more." her voice felt dead. her throat felt muted. she trusted the auspex implicitly, not only with her own life but her body.
teya wanted to ask at once if there was a way to — undo what had been done. she could not even recall feeling changed or odd during the time she and reyes had been together.
resignation was coming. she resisted it, leaning back and accommodating eljay's exam in any way he needed. her mind felt blank. she wanted to vomit again, to scream, and to run away from brecheliant.
patience, she told herself. be calm. wait until you know for certain before you react.
When Teya tensed, Eljay waited, but then she relaxed again. The caretaker nodded as she said that it had been two weeks. He carefully nosed her stomach, but he knew that two weeks was too early to really tell if there was anything coming. As expected, he didn't find any visible signs of pregnancy yet. All he had to go on was how she felt.
It's too early to tell now. I should check again in two to three weeks.
He gave her an apologetic expression, because he knew that she needed to know right now, but he couldn't be conclusive now. It sounds like you might be pregnant, though, from how you're feeling.
He wanted to be excited and congratulate her. However, the way that Teya looked utterly defeated told him that was not what she needed right now.
tears and nausea formed a tight ball in the pit of teya's stomach. she wanted to gag and to scream. she wanted to shout that he was lying, that it simply could not be. the waiting was most harmful; she did not want to wait, she wanted this to be over.
in two weeks' time it might be too late.
teya's shoulders curved in a dejected arch.
"i need to tell reyes."
she listened for eljay to reject this notion, to tell her to wait, that there was a chance for something else.
but somehow the raven knew these words would not come.
Teya looked utterly distraught and Eljay found himself wishing that there was anything that he could do for her. He had thought this would be a happy occasion, but it was clear now that it was not so for her.
She said she should tell Reyes, and Eljay nodded. Of course,
he said to her, expecting that she would go now. He understood that she needed to tell him, unaware that she might've hoped he would tell her to wait until she was sure.
stiffly she rose. teya wanted to ask if he knew anything which might quell or lessen her nausea, for of course he did. but she found she had little energy for speaking. all of it went into her small "thank you," which trailed away as she turned and left the man there.
she would not seek reyes that day.
she would wait and then she would come back.
I'll find you later to bring you something against the nausea,
Eljay said as Teya rose to leave. He wished he had more to offer her than that. Let me know if you need anything else.
He wanted to reach out to her again physically but in the end he didn't, and simply watched her leave before going on his own way, searching for the right herbs immediately.