Private for Themis <3
His mind was worse when he was alone, but yet all he wanted was solitude. He did not like where they had moved to, so close to other packs, and yet he had no say in it. He had been used to power, and now he had none. It was frustrating him, especially after he'd been questioned by that woman. Vorilye didn't know what to do. He felt he had a responsibility, to Themis and his children, but really... was he even meant to be a father? He had so many questions, so many worries, and he felt trapped, both here and in his mind. Vorilye took a steadying breath, then got to his feet; he sought out
@Themis, hoping she would be able to help.
Mature Content Warning
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Themis had found a patch of mushrooms.
She sat at the edge of them, a lone sentinel, guarding them. Or guarding others from them, she couldn’t tell.
She remembered with vivid clarity, those of the Insurgence who couldn’t handle the death they caused. She remembered these mushrooms. She remembered how much she hated them. How much they caused.
Her eyes lifted at the sound of Vorilye, face a stony mask.
If you’re looking to be high off your face, I’m not gonna let it happen with these.
He found Themis beside a mushroom patch, and he gazed at her quizzically as she spoke. He had never partaken in anything — in his homeland, only the spiritualists would use those types of herbs. He shook his head, frowning. "No... I didn't come here to get high off my face." He took in a deep breath. "I wanted to talk."
Vorilye sighed, his frown deepening. "I've... I've been a wreck since my sister attacked me. And one of yours was in my face the other day, demanding I give her information." A scowl replaced his frown, and he muttered, "I'm here for you and for our children — I owe nobody else anything."
Themis was quiet for a time. A glance at her face would turn up a gobsmacked look, eyes wide and mouth slightly open.
She ground her teeth together.
Whoever it was, they go against the tenet that makes Oi Kryfoí what it is. You’ve never demanded to know who I am, even after I gave you a false name the first time we met.
She lowered her head, taking a shaky, deep breath.
I-…I’m sorry, Vorilye. Goddammit, I should have known something like this would happen.
She sat up straighter, but kept her head low.
Im not gonna ask who it was, I won’t make you recount it.
She could somewhat guess, this wasn’t exactly a large outfit.
Vorilye had feared that she would've been against him, that she might brush it off... but no. She seemed shocked, angry even. He closed his eyes for a moment, letting the relief wash over him. Quietly, he told her, eyes still closed, "It's not your fault." He sighed, then opened his eyes. He knew he could not hide his identity forever; the others would realize by the way he treated the children, or how he kept so close to Themis. He wished he could. All he wanted was to be a decent father, but how could he do that and keep his anonymity?
Vorilye met Themis' gaze, and he muttered, "I've felt like a stranger here. Like... like I don't... belong here." The words were hard to admit. He cleared his throat roughly, then dropping his gaze. He didn't know how to change that.
Themis’s mind whirled, a clocktower spiraling in her head. She already didn’t like the idea that was forming, the thoughts that spun wildly in her head.
She took a deep breath.
Vorilye.
Are you really doing this, Themis? Sabah? Nephele? You? You? You’ve not known him a year!
She shoved the doubts away.
You belong here, I swear it. And I can help…I think, at least. I didn’t make Oi Kryfoi your traditional monarchy. None of our children have a claim to my position unless I decide it when they’re grown. But, even a king needs someone at their side, working as an advisor, or to appear proper to a court.
She was really doing this. Was this an overreaction? A friend you like to have around doesn’t feel like he belongs so you do this? Themis wasn’t well versed in overreaction.
Eh. It was worth a shot.
Take my name. Break those chains. I don’t claim to know your feelings about me, I doubt I ever will, I’m not good at them, but this doesn’t have to be about feelings. My name means that. To break the chains. Change your first, take my last.
Deep breath.
Ive never played the games of nobles. But I know they respect this.
Brace.
Change your name. Become my Stémma. My crown.
This is the most harebrained scheme you’ve ever come up with, and you once tried to raid a pack’s stores single-handedly armed with a rabbit’s head
Marry me.
Im so stupid.
Her words were definitely not what he was expecting. He looked at her, hardly daring to believe it as she spoke of an advisor. He missed the power he'd had, but that didn't meant he wanted that responsibility. Back when it had been Vex leading, he had had a good, easy life. Here, he didn't, and he doubted it would ever be easy again. Could he handle that? Did he even want it? He wasn't certain.
And then, to take her name. To change his identity. He had been debating it, especially after his encounter with that woman. His birth name carried too much with it. Too much risk. But, his mouth had gone dry, because he did feel something for her. But he could not speak yet.
Stémma — the word, the title, it rang in his ears. And a heartbeat later, a proposal. Vorilye was speechless, conflicted. His mind buzzed with the possibilities, and he swallowed, hard. When he found his voice, he rasped quietly, "Themis, I — I don't know..." He frowned deeply, feeling his scars stretch taught.
Vorilye forced himself to meet her gaze. "I am six years old, and I don't expect to live that much longer." How long until Vex found him again? "I... do have feelings for you. That, and the whelps... this is why I stay." He took a steadying breath. "I... expect nothing from you, but... that doesn't mean I don't desire more." He had to make it plain to her. Vorilye blinked, then continued, "If you still wish to have me as your crown, then... so be it." Even if nothing more came from their relationship, a marriage would ensure no one else could have her, and Vorilye would be lying if he did not feel protective, and, perhaps, mildly possessive of her. She was the mother of his children, after all. If the admission of his feelings changed things, well... he didn't want to think about that at the moment.
Almost immediately after the words left Themis’s mouth, she began to start backtracking. Seeing rejection where there was none.
I mean, I meant to say, I, mm, uh, well if you’re uncomfortable I-.
Vorilye cut her off, and she wanted to weep, because thank the gods. Someone needed to shut her up before she embarrassed herself any further. She braced, harder, ears falling back.
A heartbeat. Two. She was listening to what he was saying, but not registering. Her chest skipped a painful beat. He wanted this. He felt for her in ways she didn’t understand, she had said before that she didn’t quite get it, and she never had. Pidáo and her childhood had taken away that opportunity to learn.
She stood, after a moment, slipping away from the mushrooms to press her face into Vorilye’s chest, if he would allow it. She took a deep, shuddering breath.
I..I do want you to be my crown. But I also can’t lie to you. I don’t know what it feels like to love someone as a partner. Only one wolf in my life has pursued me seriously, besides you, and…he projected a delusion onto me, pushed me into a position of leadership I did not want as a courting gift.
How long ago had it been? Since she was Belladonna? Since she ran, since she became Nephele? The cloud, so easily dispersed by the wind, by fear.
She was steady now. Justice, divine order.
Themis was not a weather phenomenon, or a state of day. She had come to earth.
But I want to learn it. I want to know.
She swallowed painfully, letting her eyes fall closed.
And I want you to show me.
She listened, and he watched her reactions carefully. When she got up, he felt a flicker of panic — but she merely pressed her face into his chest. He drew her closer with a foreleg, gently, and from his chest came a low rumble of satisfaction. She spoke of an old mate, and he nodded, sighing softly. Releasing her, he pulled away gently, then met her gaze.
"I was promised to Vex. I had no option to court another. I understand not knowing how to love... I wonder myself whether I even loved her, or if what I felt was..." he trailed off, shaking his head. It didn't matter now. Whatever he felt for Themis was different.
Vorilye's face relaxed into a smile. "We can learn it together." He felt much better, and now, he felt excited — for the future, for what he might discover with Themis. He reached forward to brush her cheek with his muzzle, then sighed softly, "So... My name." He had never been anything other than Vorilye Cruor, and now? Now he could be whoever he wanted. He looked to her, smirking softly. "Did you have any ideas?" If he was to take her surname, he needed a forename to match, did he not?
Themis gave a little chuff of laughter, something in her chest loosening. A twinkle of humor prickled in her blue eyes, smile slightly lopsided as her tail gave a wag, stirring up the leaf litter.
Perhaps.
She said, twisting her head to the side to look Vorilye over with a mock critical eye, playing it up for a joke.
I myself am named after a Titan, from the stories I used to hear as a child. Metis too. The boys are named after centaurs, a monster from the mythos of my home. I can offer you that, those names. The mythology I grew up with. Just pick a category, titans, gods, great heroes, anything.
Vorilye mulled over his choices, then replied sardonically, "Mmm... A titan, or a god." He was massive, so titan seemed to fit, and he had never grown up with gods or goddesses, so he was rightly curious — the Cruors were typically anti-religious, and his father especially had refused any talk of gods. Nosing her gently, he grinned and said, "The first thing you think of, when you look at me."
The affection made her laugh again, though this was more akin to a schoolgirl’s giggle than the laughter she normally had.
You want me to be honest?
She dared jokingly, her face bright as she poked at the taller man with her nose.
Astraios.
She said after a moment, her face softened as she began to explain.
Its another name for the Titan Astraeus, who ruled over the dusk and the winds.
And, to her eyes, that seemed to fit Vorilye far better than the mantle that currently rested on his head.
Figured we can fade soon and have him learn Greek BTS!
Astraios. The name was, of course, foreign to him — it took him several tries to pronounce it correctly. He smiled at Themis, murmuring,
"Thank you. I... I like it." He would never have to be Vorilye Cruor again. He closed his eyes, sighing deeply.
When he opened them again, his gaze was hungry — but it was not Themis' body that he wanted, but her words. Her time, and company. He felt as if he could spend hours, just here, talking.
"You should teach me your language."
Thats good with me!
Themis quirked a little grin.
Ill teach you. It..
She closed her eyes, then smiled, fuller now.
And another. Thieves Cant. I think you’ll take well to it.
She would come away from this changed, as the seasons slowly shifted. Four distinct phases of her adulthood.
Belladonna, alone, scared.
Nephele, even more alone.
Sabah, surrounded, but still the lone sentinel, camping at the outer reaches of her home.
Themis, with something to hope for, never to be lonely again.
Astraios smiled, then moved to press his forehead against Themis'. He had much to be thankful for, and it was all because of her. "We should return to the children," he murmured after a few minutes of comfortable silence. He would rise to his feet, then follow her back to the whelping den, where he would take the time to really start getting to know his children.