no posting order! <3
she wanted their meeting to be in siren's bay once more.
@Jorunn would know for what it was.
@Rosalyn — she would wait for any discussion before she knew that her wife was with them. and she did not like thinking of it in such a way.
when the pirate arrived, she kissed the rugged cheeks and then turned her eyes toward jorunn.
"t'ere be a discussion dat needs to be had."
she would warm and quiver all at once. such was the way of rosalyn's company. unmatched by any other. rare and unique. she sucked in a salty breath and spoke.
best to dive in.
i will not dance around.
there was no point to it, here among close faces. i think of motherhood, but i want your words.
As the nights grew colder, Rosalyn could feel the years weighing on her more. Some days she woke stiffer, many she woke feeling off, but she continued. She knew she could fight if needed and the sea was an easier hunting ground than the fields.
Still, the feeling lurked, and times like these she couldn't help but consider it. Jorunn looked radiant, and Erzulie so full of hope. She wondered a moment why they'd felt the need to ask.
Then she thought she recognized it and she smiled. You'd want to raise them together?
She asked, looking at Erzulie first. She'd wondered if her wife would miss it when she decided that she would not bear any more the next year. I'd never say no to that.
Jorunn had earned her place at her wife's side and Rosalyn had no capacity for jealousy at it. There was only a lurking regret that she felt the numbering of her seasons... the way everything felt heavier, harder, and less sure. She would claim no children the following spring. It would be making a promise she did not think she would be capable of keeping.
jorunn spoke before she could. erzulie glanced to her wife then settled between them.
rosalyn answered in the affirmative at once — while excluding herself. the edge of her mouth quirked. "i had t'ought — maybe you would be wit us."
she fought the urge to exchange a look with jorunn. perhaps she had thought wrong of the entire arrangement. but rosalyn had always been a part of any children born to her wife.
there was a reason for this. she reached out a paw to touch the top of her corsair's own.
and jorunn could not fathom a world they might not look upon rosalyn the same way they would herself, they would erzulie. such was the balance and order that she had come to love. cherished. appreciated deeply in no way she ever had anything else.
but now she fell silent.
hopeful with her gaze upon the ruby woman.
They were going to make her say it. Rosalyn looked at them both and could see the want reflected there. It was tempting to give in and to just let things happen as they would, but something stopped her from doing it. She simply didn't have the energy... or the time.
I don't think it would be right.
She replied, searching for understanding. Rosalyn didn't want them to think it was because she felt excluded. She cut herself out by choice. I'd be there as much as the rest of the pack, but not as a mother. I wouldn't take that from them.
She needed them to understand. She didn't want to say more. Even that was too much.
erzulie's paw tightened for a moment. yes. she understood. for a moment she withdrew and looked toward the sea.
and then she met rosalyn's eyes and nodded once. she looked to jorunn now and now she did share a long and knowing look with their mutual lover.
her eyes shimmered with deepest love as she set them back toward the pirate, and she did lean to kiss the proud cheek. "we t'ought to ask chacal next." they did not need to dwell here.
jorunn wished to shut the door at once, before it had hardly been opened. how it suddenly did not feel right. how she felt like she was doing wrong in some way.
inexperience whispered these anxieties.
but rosalyn had not said no entirely. only that she did not wish to be mother to these ones and jorunn could not fault her.
as she heard the two forge on verbally, she watched the lapping of waves at the edge of the bay.
Jorunn seemed quiet after the decision. Rosalyn wondered if she took such a thing personally, but she didn't move to rescind her words. They were what was best for all of them, including all mothers present.
She thought of reassuring in another way. They won't mean any less to me. But her words were gone. Anything she said would seem empty, and the promise didn't mean as much as the reality. She didn't want to dwell on this.
She'd already said too much. Better to leave it be. Rosalyn returned her wife's gesture, then glanced to Jorunn with a warm glimmer of regret. She was young. Once she was a mother perhaps she would understand.
last for me! <3
jorunn was silent, as was rosalyn. erzulie was pensive, and then she gave a decided thump of her tail against the earth. "but for now, i want to swim." her two-toned eyes shifted between the two women most beloved to her; she stood and stretched.
and she hoped they would both join her, as she moved aside in long strides toward the beach, conflicted and yet unwilling to grapple with these things now.
united, she reminded herself.
they were a unit. each moving the other in proper unison. jorunn could not function without the balance of them.
rosalyn spoke of mind.
erzulie spoke of heart.
she warmed some, turning a look to rosalyn now, as erzulie declared a swim. her look was hopeful. yearning, perhaps even, that the red woman would join them.
that the sea may soothe them all.
Moping over things she could neither change nor reclaim would do her no good. When Erzulie spoke, Rosalyn saw the invitation in both of them and got slowly to her feet to follow. She would pass some time drifting in the water near them, though a part of her was nervous doing so. She didn't want to dwell on what was said.
It wouldn't be long before the worries would drift away on the tide, though, as they all avoided the implications dropped. She had little to worry about here.