@Blue Willow. i figured he would know about the absence since he is her frand <3
atticus was gone.
how he had wandered away from the dotage of his mate, lasher could not imagine — and all at once he recalled dumbly that the healer had taken on double tasks once more, tending the injured male as well as supporting dante as the gunmetal man took the reins of the plateau.
a sharp flare of resentment for both peregrine and fox knifed the delta as he raced with muzzle lowered around the last place he himself had seen atticus. however, taltos' feeling toward the ruby was quickly translating itself to hatred, and his lip curled with rare anger.
pausing near a copse of birches, lasher explored them for the former beta's scent, but found nothing. a moment's time found him dashing away again, desperation lacing his heartbeats.
Atticus was gone, it was as if the she wolf was walking around in a stupor. It took moments for the words of most to penetrate the fog that had covered her brain. This was all just too much, entirely too much. It had been mere weeks since her father had died, that her best friend had left her. Then not even days later his brother, her intended was also gone.
Blue did not blame anyone, but herself. She should have watched him closer. Should have checked on him more. What if he thought she did not want him anymore? She had been so dang busy, and it took so much for him to understand. She should have tried to show him better that she needed and wanted him near. She sighed softly to herself as she walked the borders working so very hard to catch a sliver of a scent. Just something small to know he was still among them. She had even entertained the thought that he had left her to die, surely not though he would have told her. Let her say goodbye?
Finally, she could take no more steps for the time being and she sat down quietly at the edge of a clearing and just looked out over it. As she watched she heard shuffling and snuffling and turned green eyed gaze to catch her friends form as he dashed like a mad beast with nose to the ground. She chuffed gently at him let him know she was there.
lasher struggled almost daily with his feelings toward fox, and the idea that he would not win this battle within himself was terrifying to the earthen man. blue willow's chuff came as a welcome reprieve — taltos whirled toward her, surprised out of his reverie, but with a flag of his plume toward his friend, he crossed the clearing.
"willow," he murmured, pressing his cheek against the velveteen black of her own. he knew what sort of creature she was, and understood that she would viciously blame herself for what had occurred. she had lost much in the past weeks — her father, peregrine, and now atticus.
again the hatred flared, but lasher quelled it aptly. "this was not your fault." it would make little difference, his words, but he wanted to speak them all the same.
Blue did not know of the internal struggle that Lasher himself held. She did however know he couldn't be having an easy go of it either. Though she wished to wallow in self pity, the truth of the matter was that everyone was hurting. Everyone had been betrayed in a way, it just seemed harder to her.
Blue offered him a sad smile Hello lasher. She nudged his cheek with her muzzle, when he proffered up his own. Much like her he had been hurt deeply by one he loved, but she imagined if she thought about it. His pain would be much worse as he knew where his love was.
Blue sighed I wish I could agree with you Lasher. I however cannot help but feel I could have done more maybe? THe last part she offered up a question. Not expecting an answer, but asking the question anyway.
"you have done all you could. you lift our spirits, you heal us. you lead us. you loved atticus with all of your heart, blue willow; the strength of your faith that he would recover brought him back to us." he nudged her again, willing fervently that she understand and accept. "no one could have done more than you, my beloved friend."
closing his eyes, he lingered in the warmth of her embrace for a moment before drawing back. she would go on after this, after all she had suffered, and be stronger for it, but he still loathed the fact that she was in pain.
Blue did not say anything she just leaned onto her friends shoulder. He was fast becoming one of her best friends. It shamed her to think of it, but she was so very glad he had come back to the plateau. Even though he was hurting and sad, she just felt he was better here.
I had hoped that my love would keep him here. Perhaps it was foolish to think that love could fix everything, but it always has before. And it always did in the stories I grew up with. I know i am high past time to put such fanciful notions aside, but those I cannot help but keep dear to my heart, that love heals all wounds as does time.
the pressure of her soft cheek against his shoulder comforted taltos' own pain; he passed his tongue over the uplifted side of her face. "love does heal; that is true, but i have come to believe that there are stronger sensations than love in our world." no one could ever know why atticus had gone, save for the man himself; blue willow surely knew this, but her belief in love now led her to the heart's-pain she felt now.
he shifted beneath her prone head to accept more of her weight, if it so pleased her, and nudged her muzzle with his own. lasher was a physical beast; the contact soothed him, and he believed fervently in its power. he could not remove her agonies, but the caresses, he hoped, would be theraputic for the willow.
Blue Willow drew comfort from the kindness of the lick he showered her with. The way he allowed for her more room to lean on him. It was nice to have a friend, who gave as much as she did. It was a welcome change, and one she adored him for.
Blue leaned into him more and then looked out over the Plateau. It is sad this time, winter always brings with it such pain on it's icy wings. She went quiet and sighed softly I hope where ever he is, he doesn't hurt anymore. Thank you Lasher for being here for me. I cannot even tell you exactly how much it means to me.
"i will always be here for you," he said softly in answer to her thankfulness. the memory of his offer, now pulled back from where it had been relegated by atticus' return to the current world, danced in his mind. glancing toward the sky in silence, the earthen man mused over whether or not to mention it to her again — it would not be tactful in any other situation, for it would make him seem an opportunist — but he and the willow knew each other well enough now to where he thought she would not think such of him.
"i will always love peregrine, and my heart is too abundant with love toward others for me to embrace tradition, blue willow," he began quietly, turning his muzzle toward her closest ear, "but with ever fibre of my being i would strive to bring joy to your heart."
drawing back, he searched for the soft green of her eyes with his own, a tender expression crossing his features — in whatever capacity she needed, he would be alongside her. they were close companions, she his most beloved friend, but taltos was a servant, a comrade; if she decided she wished more intimate company, he would gladly lend it to her, for he had come to love her dearly, and the knowledge that her heart was broken hurt him as well.
She smiled in return, and though it was a sad smile it was a smile. She appreciated that he was willing to be there for her. And she herself felt the same way. He was her dear friend, and she would be there for him when she could.
The offer she had been given weeks ago, was still there in the back of her mind. But she had not thought on it for some time. Did not need to think on it, for she had Atticus. Now though she did not even have him, no idea where he was or what he was doing. She did not think that she could love in that capacity again, could not allow her heart to bear itself for all again, only to be broken. But the longing for children was a strong one, and one she did not wish to miss out on, but she also did not ever do anything hastily and she knew right now given everything was not the time to make such a decision. '
Blue did not say anything at first to his soft words, she instead turned them over in her mind. Trying to figure out exactly what he meant. So your offer of a companion and a friend, and a father for children still stands? If I should decide to take you up on that offer? She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. Most would have been a little affronted by such words, and had it come from any other wolf with the exception of perhaps even Peregrine, Blue herself would have been the same. However, being that it was from Lasher and his absolute beautiful love for all around him, she did not mind such a thing. She did however wait for his answer before she continued speaking.
he nodded to her clarification. "i will forever be your friend, regardless, but you deserve children, blue willow. and i would not leave you to rear them alone." while he himself had little desire to further his lineage, he was consumed by curiosity of what they would look like, cubs fathered by himself and nurtured by the healer.
taltos knew that the woman before him was careful, and would not make a hasty decision, nor did he wish for her to be cavalier over such. for the foreseeable future, he would be a part of the plateau, and thus a part of her life — there was room for a family there.
but for now, he lapsed into silence, having spoken his piece; he smiled wanly at her, encouragingly, though somehow there was trepidation within himself over her anticipated answer.
Blue tilted her head and closed her eyes as she went over everything in her head. She shouldn't make such a decision right now, but at the same time she had known what her answer would always be. She would rather have pups with a friend, if she could not with her own true love. Besides the fact that Lasher would not expect her to give him her heart, and that was one thing she knew she couldn't give him, for it was already taken. She could however love him as a friend and as her own children's father. It was an interesting thing, this situation.
She opened green eyes and studied him and dipped her muzzle I don't have a problem with this Lasher, I would rather have children with a friend who did not expect my heart in return, when it belongs to another. So yes, but permission will be needed I imagine. And then we would go from there, but for now I would just like to grieve a little bit would you mind staying with me?
She grew silent and still and moved to a sphinx like position with head on her paws. A sigh borne from deep within full of hurt and grief worked it's way up out of her maw. It was a hard thing to lose the one you love to a mystery.
she surprised him; he blinked slowly as she spoke with finality, having reached a decision without the days of time the man had assumed she needed. to her gentle question he gave a silent nod; he laid alongside her, placing his muzzle across the black velvet of her shoulders.
her sigh provoked one of his own; the air blown forth from his nares ruffled the fur along her withers. he had lost peregrine, and blue willow had lost atticus. they would rebuild themselves in a union, though their hearts would not be entwined.
or perhaps one day they would — lasher was not a scryer. who could know the future? and so he remained quiet; he would lie beside the willow until she rose and went about her day.
Blue thought she would need more than mere minutes as well. However, as she had sat there and realized that she had known an answer since the very first time the offer had been made. Being a stubborn soul, she had refused to think much on it while her heart was entwined with atticus. And perhaps it was with grief that she spoke now, but the want for children was a strong one. She had no family left really no blood ties, her brothers spread to the four winds, her father and mother buried beneath the ground and Atticus gone. So perhaps it was with selfish reasons she accepted this proposal, who knows all she knew was that she was firm in her choice and she would suffer the repercussions if their were any, and hope to all that was holy that if Atticus really wasn't gone and he came back he did not hate her for it.
Blue did not often think of the future, preferring to keep herself in the here and now. The one time she had thought of the future it had not ended well. So she would stay in the here and now and take each day one at a time. She closed her eyes and comforted by a friend she adored, she fell into a restless sleep.