She burned and seared upon her return from the lake.
At once she made to find
@Kukutux, tired of her wallowing and her hurt. For the world still moved on around her. Her son grew, her husband worked.
She felt pathetic.
I need a path.
kukutux said nothing at first. she offered her kinswoman a strip of fat taken from the edge of a deer belly.
"your son is secondhunter already." hers was a mother's voice, reminding sakhmet of her family's accomplishment. but she knew this would not settle the other's fiery heart.
now she looked hard at her sister. "do you still have the want to be issumatar?"
Shame, licked up her insides in a smothering smoke of her burning heart.
Kivaluk was second hunter. She had meant him to be first hunter of Natigvik. She had meant so much for her family and she had burned it down for one son, no longer among them. She did not hold ill against him, but she could not help the feeling of loss.
I believe I must be.
But she listened, waiting if she would be told she should not be.
"there are many paths for a woman to take."
"become mother again. seek a wife for your grown son."
her eyes shone. "seek a spirit journey. or build a village of your own, near to mine."
she did not speak of the winterhawk. but she wondered if sakhmet wanted still to be married.
A wife for her growing son.
A mother again.
She was not sure if she pictured these things again. Uncertain if Kigipigak even wished for children with her again. If he wished for her still, even with all of her faults in the face of Natigvik. The things she had done — said and unsaid.
It would be good to stay near to you.
She danced around the first half of that list. Shamelessly so. I wish to be hardier, before I become issumatar once more.
kukutux nodded.
tooteega whispered. it was the Old One's words which came to her now.
"let us go to the sea ice, you and me. we will hunt in the long dark. and we will know the spirits again."
women returning to themselves after being wife and mother and moon so long.
She need not understand everything to know that Kukutux did not at least discourage her. Not in a clear way, at least.
Thank you, Kukutux.
Her voice smaller now, diminished some with the fire which she had walked in. "Do not let your anger wither." she remembered and yet...
i can start them a new one near the sea? <3
kukutux nodded. "we will go soon. i have things to say to you. and away from the village, i think words will come also to your tongue."
she looked with love on her sister. "think hard upon your want, sakhmet. we will ask the spirits to guide your heart."
yes please <3
Her face felt hot, flushed. Words for away from the village. She did not know what she anticipated! Nor did she know what she might say herself.
Somehow that thought seemed daunting.
I will. I promise.
Yet her heart was a fickle thing, it seemed.