jakoul's current condition had rattled lestan very much. her scent left him aching; seeing how her path crossed and twined with that of akavir made him jealous in a way that bewildered the man. it was natural and yet it was not.
he ran away from them, from them all today, to the furthest reaches of swiftcurrent.
there he called for
@Reverie, understanding with instinctual knowledge that he could not leave these grounds until jakoul was safe once more.
he hoped, he prayed she was close; that she would hear. and that in her eyes he might find the absolution from the helpless wanting of the dark woman around whom the men rallied now.
Vague about the Akavir/Moss thread!
She felt safe enough to stick around after her conversation with the dark-furred leader. Now that she was calmer, she wanted to see Lestan; she still didn't have a gift for him, but she hadn't exactly meant to be here. It had just kind of happened.
Somehow, Lestan knew she was here. He must have, because he called for her. As if they were connected somehow — but no, that was a stupid thought. Maybe he'd caught her scent somewhere along the way? She brushed it away and followed the summons, noticing something strange as she went. A scent. Sort of. It was something between a scent and a feeling, more accurately, and she wasn't sure what to think of it.
When she saw Lestan, she didn't hesitate to go to him. He could explain what was happening, surely.
Lestan, what is -?
Something was wrong.
Are you okay?
He didn't look okay, but she couldn't think of anything else to say just then.
"yes!" too fast, too jubilant, too bright. lestan cleared his throat and started off, urging reverie along with him.
he thought of how jakoul had named his hungers and unthreaded him to nothing. his eyes were wondering for a moment; he saw only a golden innocence in reverie. but she was a woman, wasn't she? and — that meant that men would look at her in the same way.
it was not possession which tipped the mayfair's hackles but protectiveness. fear. had he stayed a moment longer with the dark woman he felt he might have answered.
how could one lose control in such a manner? how could one be compelled to lose his mind?
"yes. we have had some joiners to the creek. so i have been busy," lestan hurriedly explained, trying to smother everything uncomfortable with a grin.
She was unconvinced, though she obliged Lestan's urging and followed him away from Swiftcurrent Creek. There was something frenetic about the way he spoke, the way he moved. His hackles seemed to ripple slightly, and she wasn't quite sure if she had imagined it for a moment.
No. Something was wrong. He was talking about joiners and being busy now; maybe that was the truth, but even if it was, she felt that he wasn't being completely honest about how that made him feel. Are you sure?
She studied him, looking for any hint of dishonesty in his expression. Maybe she was mistaken; maybe he really was okay. But she didn't want to harbor doubts. She wanted to be certain when it came to Lestan.
no! he was not, not in the least! but lestan found himself unable to even fathom explaining himself. he felt guilty, ashamed, prickled under the collar, and yes — aware of lust's ember deep in his belly.
"i just was not prepared for — change," he struggled. the everpresent burble of the creek began to soothe him, until the strain left his face. "you heard me. you were close," lestan observed, his smile true and soft now, tail waving behind his hips.
Reverie softened when he spoke of change, shifting from inquiring to empathetic at the drop of a hat. Change is overwhelming sometimes,
She agreed, relieved to see some of the tension fading from him. I'm here to listen if you want to talk about it, but you don't have to.
She knew better than most what it was like to not want to talk about something, after all.
He mentioned her proximity, and she blushed slightly, embarrassed all over again. I think I - met one of those wolves you mentioned when we first met. She had a horrible wound... I didn't know where else to go, so I came here,
She wasn't sure how to explain her meeting with his packmates. She knew she would have to, but she still felt ashamed over the whole thing. She had cried, right in front of them.
one of the — "oh!" lestan cried in sudden understanding, and then worry. "where was she? what did she say to you?" his eyes flicked frantically over her for wounds; he saw none, but this did not calm him.
his heart raced. "we're protected here. how is kvarsheim?" lestan asked, swallowing and thinking of those teeth coming from the dark, reaching, reaching for reverie.
She hadn't expected his frantic concern; she was convinced by now that her own reaction had been an overreaction, but Lestan's open expression of dismay had her questioning it again. Sadey really hadn't been terrible to her, so what had she done to make Lestan think so poorly of her? How had she come by that wound?
Lestan had so many questions, she struggled for a moment to choose one to focus on. Oh, um... not very far,
She gestured toward the Emberwood, where she'd encountered the woman. Just that way. She said... she asked about Swiftcurrent Creek. And then she realized I knew who she was, and she told me to run. She said I was kind.
Her expression turned thoughtful and a touch distant as she recalled the meeting, but she quickly snapped herself out of it.
Kvarsheim is safe. They'll be okay. And I'm okay too, Lestan. You don't have to worry,
She added after a moment, feeling guilty. Surely he didn't need more stress, not now.
lestan nodded, frowning. he believed her, but the wolves at the stone circle were so kind.
he wondered if akavir would mind horrendously if an extended patrol was added to the edge of kvarsheim, just for the time being.
he did not trust this unviolent wounded woman who had told the golden fairy to run.
"of course i worry, reverie," he breathed out, coming closer. he pressed his forehead gently against her own. "i'm very good at it you know."
I'm pretending they're not wolves for like 5 seconds but you can interpret this however you want LOL
Lestan stepped closer and his presence overwhelmed her; everything else became small and unimportant. Reverie was aware of his warmth and her own pounding heart. She closed her eyes, leaning into the touch and smiling helplessly. She wanted to say something cute and clever; she'd never tried to flirt before but the urge was there, a wild spark of something playful and affectionate. She couldn't think of anything cute and clever, though. So instead she kissed him.
She would save wondering if it was too forward for afterward.
homg
lestan would have hugged her then, maybe pulled away to point out a kingfisher or cardinal or oh, OH —
his heart raced faster; he could hardly catch his breath, and it shuddered against reverie's mouth.
then the mayfair did remember himself, and soon the little golden witchling of kvarsheim was held against the fluttering joy of his heart.
"goodness," lestan managed after they had parted a little. he felt the desire rising again, this time not so sharply, not so chaotically, something warm and wanting and unsure.
"it is — you are such a joy to me, reverie."
I love these two so much, they're cute in an Ed Sheeran song kind of way LOL
She almost took it as rejection when she felt Lestan shudder against her, but then he was pulling her close and she was lost in him. He was soft against her, but she felt his gentle strength and marvelled at it, at the warm woodsy scent of him, at the shyness of his embrace. She could feel her own passion and uncertainty reflected back at her.
Reverie turned shy when they parted, her gaze dropping until Lestan spoke.
You are such a joy to me.
I feel the same way,
She admitted, and then, because she could never stop once she had started,
I feel - as if I've known you for so much longer. I know it's strange.
She let out a breath, feeling foolish, hoping desperately that Lestan wouldn't think she was foolish too.
TRULY
lestan was giddy and aching and wanted more; he held himself back and listened to her soft words. he shook his head, in denial and excitement — "i feel the same. you are like the faefolk around the loch, don't you see? and we mayfairs, well, we were born to know them. to follow."
his eyes were satin with reverence. "maybe we have known each other, before."
lestan's heart raced.
The faefolk around the Loch. She knew immediately that he spoke of his birthplace, but she had never heard of anything called faefolk. Lestan seemed certain, though; he seemed certain they'd known each other before. And though she didn't quite understand everything he was talking about, she was suddenly convinced that it must be true. He knew so much more about the world than she did, after all, and it explained so many things. This feeling, their strange connection; all of it made sense now.
I think... we must have,
Her voice was hushed and full of wonder. But... I don't know what any of it means.
She looked imploringly at Lestan now, hoping that he could explain. There was so much she didn't know.
lestan pulled her a little closer. "i don't really either, not truly. it has something to do with the stars."
they needed someone who might commune with the celestial beings.
"what i do know, however, is i want — this, whatever it is." lestan did not think of the creek or of kvarsheim, only of them.
This is horrible because I'm in a tooon of pain but I could not resist replying, I'm sorry LOL
Lestan didn't know either; she was troubled, but tried not to let it show. The unknown had always fascinated her, but it was different when she felt so affected by it. And the thing was, she'd never wanted the unknown to
stay unknown. Right now, an explanation felt like something unreachable.
The stars, he'd said. How would they ever find out?
But it was easy to let her worries fall away; Lestan was here, Lestan wanted this. He wanted her. She'd thought once that romance was out of reach, that there was no space within her for it to occupy. She realized now that it wasn't a space within her. It was all around her, all around both of them, something warm and alive in its own right. Something wild that they would both need to reach out and tame, if they were brave enough. She wasn't sure if she was ready. But if she didn't reach out — then what?
It would fade, and she would never know what a future with Lestan might look like.
I -
She took a breath, and the sentence changed even as she spoke. What she said was not what she'd meant to say at all.
I don't want to leave you again.
She was shocked by herself, then embarrassed, but she couldn't take it back. She wouldn't.
omg nooo u should rest and do u have pain stuff???
lestan caught his breath. did she want to stay here? did he want her here? he thought of bjarna and akavir, of his duties to the creek and the fact that her much-beloved sister would surely suffer if he took her to swiftcurrent.
and his home, it was growing upon him.
he was at a loss once more! lestan kissed her crown and tried to think. "you could stay here tonight, maybe. if — well, we should tell them all, maybe? oh!" he said in consternation; how very dare the world crowd them now with demands for reasoning.
he took a breath. "we have to go home today. to our homes. it's — well, it's not time. not yet." they needed to be sure, and they needed the input of others before they decided.
I do!! I am posting from bed and armed with a heating pad. Having a body is just rough sometimes, like why can't I exist as an energy cloud or something??
Oh! He mentioned their homes and she realized she hadn't thought of Bjarna at all, and withdrew slightly in shame. How could she have forgotten her? Lestan was right, of course. She was thankful for his presence of mind, but hated herself in that moment. To cast aside Bjarna so easily — she was no true sister at all.
But hadn't she done the same back in The Gilded Sea?
Her tears didn't fall, but her eyes were shining even as she tried to blink them away.
You're right, I - wasn't thinking,
Again. She had meant to say something else, hadn't she? But she couldn't remember what it was now, only her stupidity and thoughtlessness and selfishness and — !
She wanted to leave. She glanced at the sky, taking a step back from Lestan because she couldn't quite focus while he was so close.
I should... go now, really,
She said, consumed with thoughts of Bjarna and her guilt.
MOOD <3 im sorry
lestan took a step forward, a little whine rising in his throat. "let me walk you, really. it's not so far. we didn't — well, i wanted to tell you about the glen of orange trees i found."
his voice was hopeful. they must be parted for a while, while lestan puzzled out what to do, but that did not mean they needed to dissipate immediately. "don't cry. we just — we leap when we are sure, all right?"
gazing in reverie's eyes, after all, brought him a bright and lambent peace he was not yet ready to surrender.
He wanted to walk her home. He wanted to tell her about orange trees, and he didn't want her to cry. She was thinking about Bjarna, and all of this only served to overwhelm her. The blonde girl visibly struggled to focus, and a long silence stretched between them while she could only look at him.
I'm sorry, I can't - I can't focus,
Reverie said at last, her gaze falling and her demeanor crumbling under the shame of it all. It was too much. She didn't want him to see her like this, but there was no choice in it.
was there something between them, breaking?
he hoped not! he feared it!
"a-all right," he said with that same hopeful, painful tone. "i'll — i will come see you. in kvarsheim."
he drew a breath. maybe it was best that they did not walk together after all.
He seemed to misunderstand; he seemed to resign himself from the conversation, from all of it. Or maybe he didn't want to deal with it, this time? She felt that couldn't be true, not when he'd been so gentle with her before, so she sought to explain.
I - what I mean is, sometimes it's... hard to think?
She wasn't explaining it right, she was sure. No, it's - I think too much, and I can't - sort it out.
That felt more accurate, but her heart was beating faster now. This time it felt panicked, painful. What if he hadn't misunderstood, and he meant to reject her?
I'm sorry,
She said again, grasping for any solid thought she could bring to the conversation. I don't mean to be rude.
finally he understood. he comprehended. "then —!" and on impulse he sat down directly in their snowy path. "let's just — sit here a while. we don't have to figure anything out."
his eyes fastened to hers. "you are not rude for speaking aloud, reverie. let's do no speaking now, though. we'll only stress ourselves out."
Normally I would suggest a fade about now but [Billy Mays voice] wait! There's more! LOL
And just like that, he was gentle with her again. Her panic melted away under the warmth of his sudden understanding, and she couldn't help but lean into him as she sat beside him. He wasn't tired of her, or put off by her. Not yet. Reverie closed her eyes, and was silent for a time.
She didn't know how long they stayed like that, but eventually she felt the urge to speak again.
What is an orange tree?
She asked softly, because it had been on her mind. It seemed like the best place to start again.
<3
"well, they usually have orange bark," he laughed. "or, they're called orange trees because of the sweet-sour fruit they carry." he smiled at her. "the ones i saw had the bark i was talking about. they were almost golden! when i looked at them."
like allspice.
a deeper version of her coat. he blushed and kept his tongue tied for now.