Mojag had
many words with Rodyn, much of which left him wondering about the future. He was nervous about his options. Knowing that soon his mother
@Shikoba would welcome his siblings to the world, and that he would be expected to be the man of their lodge (or so he believed), meant he had only one choice; yet Rodyn had presented another, even a temporary one.
Over the previous weeks the boy had become distant from both of his parents, and his duties, and had become lethargic; yet he sought out Shikoba's
ulaq with a renewed vigor that had not been seen since before the island. He drifted by the entrance, chuffing softly in case anyone rested inside, and looked to the paths surrounding the sleeping-place for signs of his mother, in case she had taken a patrol.
He had much to say, and wasn't sure how to say it.
the days were growing longer as spring became the more apparent season. shikoba was about as large as she's ever been in her pregnancy as she was so close to her expected delivery. and most days she has tried to push herself to do work, though today, she was more sleepy than she cared to admit. so when she heard a chuff outside of her ulaq, the woman did her best to roll into a position allowing her to get up without stressing out her belly.
she had noticed that mojag was seen less and less as time had come to march by, and she tried not to worry herself with it. rodyn spoke many words to her about her son's troubles, and the more shikoba worried, the more she felt the need to blame herself. being a hunter and a guardian were paths that she carved out from her own birth name, she did not possess the talents to have any other important role.
and while her son has responded to the call to the hunt, she knows that perhaps that is not his purpose. and while there may always be a slight sting in knowing that he will not be her successor, she feels joy in knowing that mojag is becoming his own wolf.
she comes to the mouth of her sleeping place. upon seeing her son, she smiles at him but does not push to make him uncomfortable with her touch. "i greet you, mojag," she comes to say softly to him, "what brings you by?"
She rests inside, which is not something he is used to seeing. Shikoba had, and always would be, a hunter and warrior; it was strange to him that she should be bedridden, waiting for the next chapter. It was sensible, of course - she was heavily pregnant, due any time now - and yet, Mojag had not seen this side of her, and wasn't comfortable with it. She was welcoming, as always.
Anaa,
he began, letting a sway come to his tail, although that stalled as he thought of what he wanted to say. He shifted weight from paw to paw, softly, and couldn't hold his gaze upon her face.
I... I am sorry for not being around, much, of late.
That was not what he'd wanted to start with. Even if he'd meant it, he did not want to stress his mother out or weigh her heart down. Um, I... I was speaking with Rodyn. He came to visit, to gather things.
Best to be quick about it, right? He invited me to his new village.
Before she could say anything, he rambled on and barely took a breath: He says he does not know what crabs are! Or the eggs of sea birds, or turtles. That he fishes more from rivers than the sea! And he hopes to provide for his wife, but doesn't know these things. I want to show him, and his village. I know these things. I -- I learned them, on the island.
As he came to the end, his voice dwindled.
The implication was there, of course: that he wanted to go, and that he might not be here for her. It pained him to think about so Mojag could not voice this outright.
he spoke, perhaps a bit shakily, though every word he speaks makes sense in her ears. his apology for the lack of presence, and then an offering for the next chapter in his young life. and while he does not say directly to her that he longs for the saltwater, somehow a mother always knows what weighs on her children's hearts.
shikoba was no different. and for a moment, there is a sense of strain on her face. it does not linger, and if perhaps he asks about it, she may lie and say it was someone pressing on her innards rather than the harsh realization that her son was leaving home once more.
but she let the pain go, as she has learned to do during her times in these mountains. "don't be sorry," she comes to reassure him "your anaa is not very exciting to be with while pregnant." a small little flutter of laughter settles.
"if the saltwater calls your name more than these mountains," she looks down towards her feet for a moment, "then you should go where you feel needed." she did not want to send him away again, but it was time for mojag to find his calling; shikoba knew she could never fulfill such a journey for him.
and so, another kindness only she can give is her blessing for the boy to spread his wings.
The boy watches the ground for a few moments, then the bedding upon which his mother lays. He cannot bring his eyes to her face, because he fears what he might see there. Shikoba has never given him reason to doubt her; in fact, he might fear her acceptance as much as her refusal, as that would certify to him that he lacked something Inutsuk could provide - and the man was so far removed from himself, and their family, in his opinion. That his roaming father could be the man of the lodge after all was, to be blunt, heart-breaking. But it was a boy's fantasy that kept him plagued with worry. Somewhere inside Mojag he knew he was being foolish! And this was his best option for becoming a man, truly.
It was Shikoba's acceptance that brought his eye to her face, and a smile to his own. While he felt badly for his desire, he knew his mother would still be here, and their family would thrive. He was not needed here - but he could help his friend, and the new village. The boy ducked his head as he entered the ulaq properly and moved to press his nose against his mother's cheek.
Thank you anaa.
He was so excited for this! Maybe he was a little afraid too, but they were so similar that he could not tell them apart. Rodyn says there is open travel among all the villages. Moonglow, the 'Spear, and now his village. When -- when my brothers and sisters are here, will you call for me?
He wanted to be here, he could not miss such an important moment! I want to meet them. I want to be their brother.
That, at least, would always be more important than any other desire within Mojag.
shikoba was always fearful that the lack of inutsuk's presence in mojag's childhood left room for trauma to rear its ugly head. she worried about the pain he felt, and perhaps the inkling of the idea that his father left for some ungodly reason that somehow tied to her son. and while she enjoyed the beautiful bird that would sing her songs and keep her entertained, it was cruel to keep him caged.
she pressed back into him, forcing her tears away as she breathes in his scent. and he speaks of his siblings, who kick about with their little legs internally. and shikoba feels great pride within her to know that mojag still wishes to be here for everything.
"they will know you," she says to him, "of their great brother who tamed the ocean and turtles. you will know when they arrive." shikoba enjoyed her beach trip, and it certainly made sense to come and visit when she was in better shape after the next litter.
"you make me proud, mojag. and you are loved. always remember that when you are away from me."