Wolf RPG

This year felt like the first… she’d honestly nearly forgotten! Somehow, with everything to worry about, it felt less urgent. But that unmistakeable feeling hit her as the weather began to warm, and today she could sense that it was time.

Would he still be interested? Or was there just too much of everything else to worry about it?

Maia reached out to @Eljay as the morning light filtered into the Blackthorn den and smiled, kissing him lightly on the cheek. It’s okay, if the ones we have now are enough. But I know Dwin would love to have company.

It was hard to think of Chickadee out there, and Aiden looking for her, but she knew that they would be okay. All she and Eljay could do was look towards the future and know that no matter what, they had each other. She could manage anything as long as that was true.

They had discussed having children again briefly, though it wasn't a recent subject. Somehow, Eljay had not given it much thought. It seemed an eventuality that they would, but if Maia had not gone into heat, then it would've been entirely possible for the elder to wake up one day and realise that the year had passed without any children of their own. Watching Bronco and Teya's children was a joy in itself, and perhaps that kept his old sitter heart full; or perhaps it was the knowledge that having more children was now definitely a situation for which they needed the pack's help, for it grew harder and harder for Eljay to provide his family with anything rather than taking from what they provided, instead.

The scent had not even hit him. If he would have been asked, Eljay would've probably said, 'ah, yes, something is definitely different about Maia', but he hadn't realised just what was different until she suddenly started about children after kissing his cheek. Only then did he realise, and only then did he pause to give it some thought.

I always figured we would, he admitted. It felt so long ago that they had actually discussed it. Only if you want to as well, of course. Eljay smiled softly at Maia. It was good to have Brecheliant around them, which provided him with the knowledge that it was okay that he did not provide as much now. It had always been a source of anxiety for him whether he did enough for his pack, but somehow it did not feel so pressing, now. It had been some time since he had had any panic attacks at all. He added, smiling softly: Brecheliant is a good place to grow up in.

It would be easy to ride this year out and allow Teya and Bronco to carry the future. Maia considered it a moment, and while it was a fine path forward to think about, she didn’t think she was quite ready. Not so long as Eljay was willing.

Another year. He was right; Brecheliant was the perfect place for children to grow, and even if most had left them by now, she didn’t think that a reason to not bring more into the pack. The ones here would love their siblings immensely, and the ones gone would return to find the family even bigger. They would come back home someday.

We’ll have the rest of the pack behind us. Teya and Bronco’s are beautiful, but let’s give them some cousins to play with. They would actually be family this year, by blood as well as by pack! Maia smiled, snuggling closer a moment before drawing back and allowing him to choose the next step at his own pace. Even now it wasn’t something she was in a rush for.

It was infrequent but it wasn’t something that embarrassed her any longer. She enjoyed that it brought them close, though most other times of the year, they were just as close without. Silently she hoped for two this year, though she thought silently it might be their last. It would be nice to enjoy their older years quietly loving the children they already had.

Eljay's pace had always been slow when it came to this particular dance. He wasn't entirely into it — not in the same way others were — and he was glad that Maia did not mind that very much at all. Eljay smiled softly as she agreed to the matter. Without him having said it out loud, she addressed some of his worries. He supposed that they must've been easy enough to tell from his demeanour. He wondered how she felt next year. What if he couldn't provide her with children another year? The age gap between the two of them had never bothered Eljay, but now it seemed so painfully clear. Maia was so much more spry than himself. It had happened gradually, but Eljay couldn't help but feel that age was really catching up with him now. He, too, wondered if there'd be more another year. If there'd be an opportunity for it.

For now, though, he wanted to be in the moment. He didn't want to worry about the future or how long it would be. He wanted to enjoy the present.

Yes, it'll be wonderful to see them grow up with having some older cousins, Eljay agreed with a soft smile. He nuzzled Maia's cheek as she snuggled close. He knew what she wanted, and he would of course indulge — but for now, he just enjoyed her company. Do you have any hopes or dreams for what they might be? How many, and all that..? He knew last year had been tough. Eljay himself hoped for two, because he figured that would mean an easier birth for Maia, but their children wouldn't grow up alone. Sure, they'd have Bronco and Teya's, but it wasn't the same; Eljay knew all about that.

Less, she responded immediately, then laughed softly and pressed her cheek into him comfortably.  She was in no rush, and loved their time spent talking just as much.  Her heat was simply an excuse for her to pay more attention to him and less to everything else that normally pulled her away.  She intended to take full advantage of that, even if they had decided this year they wouldn’t have more.

Other than that, I’ll be happy with anything. They’d had both boys and girls and there were hardships, and easier times, with both. I just hope… I hope nothing happens this year. That they get to be the only ones. She looked down, then at her mate softly. Is that terrible? She knew, even if it was, that he would understand.

She’d loved all of the children they’d adopted as her own, but they’d come with challenges she felt she’d failed more surely than any other as a parent. None of Ibis’ had stayed long enough to call her mother, truly, and while she’d done her best she couldn’t think it was enough. And then, Ani… she didn’t like to think about it.

Chickadee gone now too, desolate from losing a sister Maia hadn’t been able to keep safe. She did not think she could stop herself if a child showed up and needed her, but it wasn’t hard to think that they might be better off finding another pack.

Eljay chuckled as Maia immediately said she wanted less. It made sense; he remembered well how last year had been bad. He himself hoped for perhaps two children. A boy and a girl, maybe. Just like his first year as a father. However, he of course would be happy with his children, no matter what they might turn out to be. As long as they were healthy.

He tilted his head as Maia expressed concern about 'nothing happening'. She asked him to confirm that it wasn't bad to think that, but Eljay didn't understand fully what she meant, so he asked, What do you mean..? You wouldn't want anyone else in Brecheliant having pups, or..?

No, just… She frowned, trying to think of a way to better word it. She didn’t want to make it sound like she regretted any of the choices they’d made so far.

I just hope we don’t need to raise anyone else’s, this year. I’ve.. I mean. They are ours, and they always will be. It just never feels like enough, and I don’t want to make things worse for any this year. Maia shifted, burrowing closer to Eljay rather than watching for his reaction.

They hadn’t made things worse, maybe, for all of them… but they certainly hadn’t made things better. This year she hoped no children lost their guardians. She wasn’t ready to be a mother again, not to anyone who wouldn’t see her this way. It broke her heart every time she needed to reconcile it.

Eljay's head remained canted when Maia explained what she meant. He had a bit of twisted feelings about this. He loved their adopted children dearly as well. It almost sounded as though it was too much for Maia; as if she wanted just the ones that were of their blood, and nothing else. However, Eljay knew Maia, and he understood she couldn't possibly mean it that way. Eljay liked to think that they had done well with their adopted children, despite everything. They'd provided them a safe place to grow up, even if not all of them had grown up to appreciate that. It was still better than nothing.

He snuggled Maia's face as she hid away from his reaction. It's okay to think that, he said eventually. I, too, hope that it won't be necessary. It would be better for all parties involved, after all, if no children would get lost or have their parents die.

However, if the need arose, then Eljay knew that he would be ready to nurture more children.

He smiled softly and inhaled Maia's scent as she was so close to him, now. Despite his lack of sexual urges, it made him feel fuzzy inside; thinking about her, inhaling her scent, feeling in love, thinking about their children so far, and thinking about what this year might bring them.

She loved him so much. Eljay never judged her, even when she was hard on herself, and always knew how to make her feel better about the things that worried her. She could hear his patience and relaxed gratefully, letting her head rest against him softly.

She really didn’t know what she had done to deserve a husband like him but she was thankful every day. And if the time came, she knew she wouldn’t let any child go homeless when they had a place here for them. She just hoped they wouldn’t need to.

We’ve got some lucky kids, getting to have you for a dad. She said with a smile.

Eljay chuckled as Maia said that their kids were lucky. He hoped that they felt the same way, themselves. He snuggled Maia's face and said, And they are lucky to have a loving mother like yourself, too. Eljay breathed in Maia's wonderful scent and he said softly, Are you ready to give our children some brothers and sisters? He got up stiffly and immediately felt in his joints that he had been laying down for too long. Eljay briefly stretched each of his legs in turn and then nosed Maia, beckoning for her to follow him so they could get on with the act of kerflompling.

Whenever you are. Maia replied, smiling with humor and a knowing look. They’d take their time about it and before long she knew they’d be back to cuddling instead. There was no rush to this; they had more than enough time.

She gave him one more loving touch, then stood and stretched as well, enjoying the feel of the sun on her fur. She’d follow to where he led and together they’d help ensure the future of Brecheliant for another year.