Reverie turned and fled back into the den, away from
@Jasmine and what felt like questioning eyes. Blood ran down her thighs, and she felt again the threat of that wretched night in the cave.
You will burn.
She trembled with the knowledge that she had to find her, the woman. That it must be her, not Lestan; Reverie had seen what would happen if he sought that darkness! His light was dimmed, too weak to stand against it. He would die, and she knew this, and she knew that she could prevent it if only —
I am the sun,
@Lestan,
It came out a gasp. She stumbled, sat hard, droplets of blood flying across the den floor, and her eyes found him.
Lestan, I - I have to go back.
Back, back to the cave where she had burned. The whispers intensified all around her.
Do you hear it? I have to - I need to go.
She had to find her.
this time lestan roused and looked, his eyes growing hard.
blood had been what had driven him from swiftcurrent befoe — her blood.
and blood was what he had paid to get back.
"no!" he snapped, settling little blossom as gently as if she were a gilded lotus before he stalked over to reverie.
consumed by fear and anger and regret, lestan mayfair put his foot down.
"you're not going anywhere. you need to stay and rest and heal. or else i'll — i'll send you back to kvarsheim." his features trembled.
"without h-her. i won't let you run around in — a state anymore, reverie! we have work to do and if you think you can rest better with bjarna and gunnar, i'll take you, today!" lestan cried. he loved her! did she not see?
"we need @Arric." he did not wait for her to argue as he called out for the man.
I use limit two for only one joiner so idk if you wanna continue without Arric <3
What?
What?
Reverie blinked at him.
You - you would take Blossom from me?
She backed away from him, feeling everything shatter underneath her in an instant. How could he?
How could he?
You - after - after everything -
She started to cry. In a panic she reached for Blossom, gentle but frantic as she pulled her into her arms. No. No, Lestan couldn't have her.
You can't take her from me. I - I'll die before I let anyone take her from me.
And she meant this, more than anything. Not even Lestan would take Blossom from her. No one would.
OPE okay danni leave that for ref then por favor <3
"she's mine as well," lestan retorted, though with no teeth in his voice. "you will die if you keep! running around and bleeding, reverie. stay here. stop talking about leaving."
ah, the navy-blue of resentment was bleeding like stained silk; he hadn't expected a child. but he had made his peace with it and even come quickly to feel for blossom.
why hadn't reverie changed? why hadn't she settled?
"that — madwoman — is still out there," the mayfair sputtered. "you want to leave and take blossom, i assume! just out into the wilds!"
he hunched miserably at the door to the den. "i won't let you. i need you to be safe. and when you are safe, she will be also."
the deer, lying with throat torn, not the blue-eyed one but — reverie, reverie, somehow, all the same. lestan lurched with fear inside, but he only looked desperately at his most beloved, willing her to understand.
Reverie took Blossom now and curled at the far end of the den, as far away from Lestan as she could get. I'll send you back to Kvarsheim. The sound of breaking; always breaking, always for him.
You weren't even here,
She said bitterly. I suffered for her - I bled for her, burned for her!
And I can't die, don't you know that?
Reverie laughed softly, but there was no humor to it. She wasn't looking at Lestan anymore; instead she looked at Blossom. Maybe you don't. I wasn't going to take Blossom anywhere; she'll be weaned in a few weeks. But don't worry. I won't leave.
There was something empty about her voice, then. Not because she did not mean her words, but because something had died in her. She had meant to protect her family, and she had even given him the grace of speaking to him before she left, something he had not done for her.
Now all she could do was think about those words.
I'll send you back to Kvarsheim. Without her.
She wondered if Lestan even understood the depth of the wound he had inflicted.
"i am now," and something cracked inside lestan as he watched reverie retreat from him. he could not take back what he had said; he could only amend it.
in the manner of a sniffling man adjusting a too-large waistcoat, he straightened. "anyone can die. you don't know what i — went through, out there. how i struggled to come back."
but enough self-pity. he stood and cleared his throat. "i am going to ask arric to come here. we can — discuss this another time. please know i would never part you from blossom unless the situation necessitated it, reverie."
he knew he would not be invited here again, and so he made mental plans to sleep elsewhere. he had destroyed things again, perhaps forever, but he — he had done so in protection of blossom.
lestan left and went to seek the healer, now worrying that in the night reverie would run away with their child.
ironically, it was still only for his golden fairy he worried.
Lestan, no!
Reverie stood at once, would block his exit bodily if she had to. I don't want Arric here. I want you here.
Don't leave me again,
A finality to the words; a desperation. Reverie sought to pull him close. She did not want to lose him again. Could not! If you send Arric here, I - I'll just find another den. I don't want him.
Please. But she couldn't bring herself to beg again. How many times had she begged him not to leave?
her pleas brought him back, sickened, tremulous. "i —"
"i'm not leaving," he said quietly, trying to soothe himself as much as her. "just for now, to find arric."
her heart fluttered for him. his beat for her. "i don't intend to be gone like that again. only injury kept me away. but i cannot — we need help."
his eyes grew cool, not hardened, but skimming toward wintry breeze. "please do not leave. stay here. this is our home," and he was too exhausted by the idea of hunting for her again to feel so warm this time.
I'm not. I won't. As long as you don't bring Arric here - or anyone else,
Reverie wanted none of them. She tried now to lead him back into the den. We need to talk. Can - can you just wait so we can talk? We can't put this off, not anymore. Then you can find Arric, if you want.
She shifted anxiously, aware that she was still bleeding but unwilling to let go of Lestan to settle again. He would leave, she felt, and would not come back — or worse, return with Arric against her wishes. And they needed, desperately, to talk — to be honest with one another.
No matter how broken things became between them, Reverie still felt the pull of some undeniable tie between them, and she would always follow it.
he wanted to say no, to find arric, to sleep. after all, it was him that reverie had sought the first time, even as he had tried to guide her.
she forgot somehow that he had been there, or it felt this way.
but he sat again at the denmouth and peered at her. what else was there to say? he thought they had made a plan, to tell akavir of the curse, to rally swiftcurrent.
and then she had come back bleeding and frightened and it felt like that day again. lestan was silent.
Reverie settled beside Blossom and tried to find the words.
I'm sorry,
She said finally. I - didn't mean to scare you. I wouldn't do anything to hurt Blossom, you have to know that.
But she was scared to look at him as she said it, afraid that she would see the opposite in his eyes. I'll send you back to Kvarsheim.
But - what happened in that cave -
She took in a breath and curled closer around Blossom. You don't understand. What I am - where I've come from. I was never meant to be here, not really.
Reverie was suddenly aware that she was not making any sense. She tried to explain further;
There's a place, The Garden, where nothing ever dies,
She ached to recall it! Her voice turned wistful as she spoke. Not here, not in this world. I tried to go back - but I was turned away, sent here again, for her.
To burn for her.
And that woman was there, trying to take Blossom, and nothing but light would chase her away. So I burned, and burned, and I - I realized that was what I was meant for,
Quiet now, quieter with every word. And it keeps haunting me, the words - I am the sun, and you will burn with me.
I saw you die,
She said, trembling again now. And her, gone. All because of me, because of my fear - because I don't want to burn!
Did he understand now? He had to. He had to.
"and i would never — send you away. part you from one another. i don't know why i said it and i'm sorry."
a breath. he pressed her paw. "i believe you," was what lestan said first, once reverie had finished. it made a miserable sort of sense to him; miserable in the conception that he believed in the fae and the wildwood and the glen from which lasher had come.
truth in the way down to her name that reverie had always been otherworldly. suddenly his eyes were brimming as he thought of her disappearance, not in death but back to the place from where she had come.
"i-i'm not afraid to die," though he quite feared pain, having been through a good deal of it.
"if you burn i will catch fire too, i fear, reverie," lestan uttered, a quick small humorless smile decorating his muzzle.
She was soothed by his words, but only so much. That he had made the threat at all was unforgivable — but by now that was nothing new to Reverie, by now it was only one more crack in the shattered glass of her fragile heart, which even now belonged to him. Still she reached for him, wanting now to draw him close, to press Blossom between them and lose herself in the warmth of the two who were most precious to her.
That's what I'm afraid of,
She whispered to him, her paw trembling against his. I can't lose you, either of you. What is in me - it's in her too. And you - you and I - I thought once that we were soulmates, but it's more than that.
Last time - when I bled like this before, you left, and I wanted it to be different this time,
The blood continued to flow, pooling slightly now. Reverie felt something rising within herself, something bright and stinging with so much heat; she fought to continue. I didn't mean to upset you, Lestan, I only meant to talk to you - because we can't keep making decisions without talking to each other. But you have to understand, I -
Reverie looked now to the blood pooling beneath her. I hear them all the time. Whispers. Threats. Small gods -
And now she shuddered. I can't let them take her. I can't let you die.
he looked down toward it too, and reeled, and still he did not comprehend why she did not tend herself. panic. did reverie truly think she could not die?
he grew agitated once more, patting her paw with a trembling limb and nodding, for they had come to the end of their conversation; lestan could no longer hold these threads together.
"will you let me get arric now?" he asked, near breathless, his eyes limpid with worry. "you — the blood. it has to stop. it must."
or else all this was for naught.
The blood. He was worried. Reverie tried to soften herself, but that brightness only kept growing within her. It will stop,
She assured him. And - Arric, he doesn't know as much as I do about healing.
It occurred to her that she had been in Arric's company the last time this happened. Lestan, he - he didn't help me, last time, if that's what you think. He found me - I wanted to be alone, but he wouldn't let me. He -
She swallowed, shook her head slightly. To be honest, I think we almost fought over it.
Reverie did not want him, not for this. Suppose he snarled at her again? Would she be able to control herself this time? She was uncertain.
Look - there, I have herbs,
Reverie pointed them out to him. Will you - I don't want to get blood everywhere. Please?
lestan went to get them, spilling some of the greenery in the process. "sorry," he mumbled, stuffing them back into their carrying-case. "i simply cannot think straight when i'm surrounded by the scent of — your blood."
the mayfair set them down gingerly nearby. "sorry," mumbled as he glanced toward blossom. "arric can be quite forceful when he feels he's correct," was all he commented, for secretly he was glad that reverie had not been left alone. "perhaps you can teach me. that way," he waved his paw, but that way she would always have someone close who could administer the medicines she needed.
And if he had hurt me?
There was a challenge in her eyes, the growing suspicion that Lestan did not truly care for her — that he only cared whether she did what was expected, what he wanted.
I can teach you,
Reverie relented, regardless of what Lestan said. She started to sort out the herbs with careful movements, but her paws were shaking. This helps with pain. And this one...
She suddenly felt lethargic. Reverie blinked, shook her head again, tried to refocus. It was no use. She reached instead for what she knew she needed. Nevermind. This is what I need right now.
Reverie spread out the leaves of it to show him before she took it into her mouth. The bitter taste of it made her wince.
Her eyes found him again. Are you upset with me?
The brightness shimmered.
lestan shook his head. "not at all, reverie. i simply am — i want you to heal, first and foremost. we can go nowhere, do nothing, until you are stronger. and me as well," he hastened. "blossom n-needs us, she needs us both. to be strong and to be well."
his smile shook though it was genuine.
"if he had hurt you, well, i — reverie! do you think that he would? i would go and demand, no, i would strike him myself, my very self, if he had!"
The brightness flared.
If he had hurt me, Lestan, I would have run - and I would want you to do the same,
The light reached her eyes now and they burned with an intensity she could not muster for anything else. Not desperation; fervency. She does need us both, and I don't trust him. I don't trust any of them. I tried.
She took in a sharp breath and reached for moss to clean up the blood. It was beginning to slow, which she was relieved for; what she did not tell Lestan was that there was truly nothing to be done in the moment. It would take time for any remedies to help. But at least this way, he would calm down.
I'm fine,
She asserted, the light fading from her eyes now. This is nothing compared to when Blossom was born. I'll be okay. I don't even feel any different, really.
A lie; she was in pain, but Reverie wouldn't let him see that. He was already so worried.
lestan didn't know how to respond, and so he stayed silently attentive, nodding here and there. but inside, he was quite tired of running.
he would not upset her more!
this they promised to each other in the quiet of their own minds.
he felt she was lying; how could she say she was unchanged? but the man would not argue. "let's sleep, soon. i've — i've looked forward to this. to returning to it."
Alright,
Reverie agreed softly, and when the blood had been cleaned up she disposed of the moss and returned with flowers to scent their den, to soothe Lestan. She moved Blossom further away from the blood and invited him close, arranging their daughter carefully so that she could sleep between them safely.
But she kept one protective arm gently over the girl all the while, and would linger and hover and worry this way long after this conversation, perhaps forever. She could not forget what Lestan had said. I'll send you back to Kvarsheim. Without her.
Lestan?
She murmured after a time, before either of them had started to drift. Don't ever threaten to take Blossom from me again.
And if he were anyone else, a threat might have lurked under the words. But for him it was a promise:
Or you will lose both of us.
Reverie was silent after that.
lestan was quite still.
"never," came his hoarse whisper in the muted dark.
and for a long while after, he would stare at the roof of the den, thinking on this most mortal sin he had opened in a chasm between them. lestan told himself to never seek reverie's forgiveness. he did not deserve it. and not once more would he make such dire pronouncements without meaning them.
a hammer for a hammer's sake was a vile cruelty.
eventually, he slept.