Wolf RPG

Penn had followed @Fennec's lead regarding their unspoken sleeping arrangement, which was to never speak of it. He didn't tell her the comfort it brought to him after spending so many nights alone the past couple of years. He didn't tell her how nice it was to feel like their relationship was on the mend. He didn't even tell her she snored lightly sometimes when she laid on her side, which was the greatest testament of all to his willpower.

He didn't want to do anything to send her running from him, and so the only acknowledgement he'd thus far given was the slight shift in his position throughout the night to keep himself curled comfortably against her.

That night, though, he decided on a gesture. It was a small one, and it did very much run the risk of breaking the spell. But Penn decided it was worth the risk. He had drifted off to sleep that night in the usual spot out in the open with the stars glimmering overhead. It was a warm evening, but the breeze was cool and comfortable. The only thing out of the ordinary was the unusual choice of teddy bear that was lying on the grass next to him, waiting to be found—a fat, dead frog. Just like he had once promised.

Fennec (and Penn by extension) was lucky that she had a nose because when she slipped quietly up to the current crashing quarters, something very froggish and very dead was occupying her spot.

At first she was just confused, and even when she caught on to the fact that he’d probably put it there on purpose, she completely forgot their previous conversation and immediately assumed joke. Well, joke was on him because she’d caught wise to him before she frogged herself up unknowingly.

Don’t let me interrupt, she said with a twist of a smile, assuming he would be awake enough to hear the words under her breath. It was that or some comment about it smelling like something died in here, and the former was way funnier to her.

Penn had in fact fallen asleep by the time Fenn arrived to find the gift he'd left for her. He always stirred a bit when she came, though, and her voice was enough to pull him out of his slumber. He didn't move or lift his head, but flicked an ear backwards to listen—the only indication he gave to show he was awake at all until he responded with a gruff mutter.

"'S a weird way to mispronounce 'thanks for the late night snack, Penn'," he said, his usually rough voice even rougher with sleep.

Fennec wondered if she was mistaken and he was asleep at first. She’d already picked it up when he spoke, but she made a low sound in her throat. Thanks but no thanks. Then she dropped it, aiming more for it to land on him than not.

And ruin your chances to smell like dead frog? I couldn’t. She curled up where it was, replacing one teddy bear with another larger (and less agreeable) one. Midnight snack? Frog? What a weirdo.

Penn rolled his eyes at her complete lack of gratitude. Or, he would had he actually opened them yet. It wasn't until he felt the rubbery slap of a frog on his shoulder that he lifted his head to frown at her. He felt a growl growing in his throat, but it disappeared before it was let loose as she curled up against him. He replaced it was an exasperated sigh, even though his attitude had lightened quite a bit in those two seconds.

"You seemed perfectly content to be fed them the other day," Penn retorted as he reached to grab the frog by a long leg and toss it a foot or so away, "I suppose next time you'll require what, a mountain lion? Bear cub? Heart of wolverine?"

Not this late, she retorted, settling in with her back against him. This late, definitely heart of a wolverine. Truthfully, she’d had a fairly sensitive stomach ever since she was a kid, and the thought of eating a frog right before going to sleep made her queasy. That tune would probably change in the morning if it was still any good.

Maybe it was because they were both awake, or maybe it was everything with Meerkat lifting her mood considerably, but she was suddenly… very aware of him, and how easy it would be to reach out and initiate something she very much wanted, but couldn’t take back. Shit, it was tempting, if only to find out what Penn would do if faced with the option.

Penn, unfortunately, had no idea what was going on in Fenn's mind at that moment. He had long ago determined that his chances with her were completely nonexistent. He had failed her again and again in the time they'd known each other, and so he held no delusions at all about maybe one day... In Penn's mind, that ship had sailed. The family and the future he so desperately wanted was something he knew he'd have to look for elsewhere.

At least, he thought he'd have to look elsewhere.

So, after rolling his eyes once again at her and muttering a, "Noted," in response, he laid his head back down in his arms and shut his eyes, sadly unaware that he was totally missing his chance.

It wasn’t a question of if Penn was interested. It was a question of how, and how long, and would things change, and did she give enough of a shit to prevent her doing it anyway? Clearly he would be making no moves, so she had no excuse or deniability if she pushed first. This whole time, she just kept asking herself the same fucking question; how long was he willing to wait? No one waited forever.

It was all just fear. She knew what she wanted but she was too fucking scared to take it. That was the moment she made her decision because, fortunately for Penn, Fennec’s reaction to fear was nearly automatic once she recognized it. If possible in the moment, she’d prove it wrong every damn time she could.

If he rejected her, fuck him. If she decided she didn’t want it to mean anything, it wouldn’t. If he ran then she’d know and the entire thing would be done. She was over stepping around this shit.

When Penn settled back down, she let herself follow the impulse, reaching forward to find his ear and running her teeth through the fur at the base, tracing the line down and along his jaw as far as she could reach. She knew initially he would have no idea what the fuck was going on, but she trusted he’d figure it out. She wasn’t about to stop and explain herself, though she would pause for a reaction.

Penn was tired enough that, if left alone, it would’ve taken him only two minutes to fall back asleep. Her touch drew him back once again, and he opened his eyes with a few bleary blinks. He didn’t have a clue what she was doing at first (or, for a brief second or two, that it was even her doing it). And even when he thought he might know, it was so unexpected that he instantly doubted the suspicion.

He lifted his head from his paws to turn to look at her. Were she able to see it, she would’ve gotten a clear view of the puzzled expression upon his face. The question of what are you doing? sat in his head, but it never came anywhere near his lips. He knew without really declaring it even to himself that this was going to be another of those things that simply happened without them really acknowledging it.

But should it?

Penn knew what he wanted. Family. Kids. Love. The sort of love he’d seen shared by his parents. The sort of love that lasted until the very end when you’d walk to a meadow together and pass into the void snuggled side by side. Penn knew without question who he wanted that future with. But he had no clue whatsoever if that was what she wanted too, and he was not going to settle for less.

It probably should’ve stopped him. But that would’ve required him to actually think it through, which he of course didn’t do. He never did. Cause fuck it.

Penn reached for her, tracing his nose along her muzzle and down her cheek before finding the soft fur of her neck.

It occurred to her briefly that this entire strange dance she was doing with Penn, a progression entirely without communication, was the exact opposite of what had happened with Germanicus. Then that thought fled (along with most of the rest of the thoughts in her brain) when Penn responded by mirroring her movement and burrowing into her neck.

There was no way she’d be the one to stop this now. She let out a soft and low sound, almost a purr, and moved in to press more firmly against him. No words needed.

For once, for some reason, she didn’t care about the future. She wasn’t of a mind to analyze it - maybe it was because her season had come and gone, maybe it was something else entirely. None of that mattered here.

All that mattered was getting as little space between them as possible.

Penn didn't spend much time thinking his way through things. Some might have call it impulsive or reckless, and they wouldn't entirely be wrong. If asked, he would simply have called it confidence. Confidence that no matter what choice he made, he would find his way through it. He had survived things in his life that had seemed insurmountable in the moment. But it had taught him that if he was nothing else, he could always call himself a survivor. He was good with that title.

Taking this chance with Fenn might prove eventually to be a mistake. Maybe he was actually fucking up his shot with her forever. Maybe she'd regret it. Maybe she'd break his heart the next morning by telling him it had been a mistake, or by admitting she didn't want the same things he did.

But, she could also wake up and tell him she'd never felt so alive, and that nothing had ever felt so right. There was no knowing, and Penn wasn't going to fret over all the what ifs. All he knew was that the girl he'd longed for since the moment he'd met her wanted him. If one single night was all he got, he would take it and enjoy it until the morning sun told him his time was up.