Rather than sulk in front of the pack—namely the pups—Masquerade left the rise to hunt. They would also keep an eye out for Avicus, though their hope of finding any trace of the Wealda had officially waned.
It had rained this afternoon but the sun returned just in time for sunset, bathing the plains in glistering hues of gold. Masque weaved through the long summer grasses, trying to stay focused on tracking.
It was difficult not to dwell on everything and worry about the rise. It wasn’t just that Avicus had disappeared and there was no longer a Redtail in leadership. With the way things had played out yesterday, Masque worried that nobody but Relic saw their value.
Surely it couldn’t be true, yet the thought brought them slowly to a halt, focus shot. They stared at the raindrops catching the last of the daylight, casting little rainbows here and there. Something about the sight raised their spirits a bit.
Redd sought her sister after. The faith meant a great deal, even if she felt the proposal premature. Within her was a sort of quiet acceptance of the fate she saw written.
Within their bloodline lay her curse as well, because while Lilia had found a mate easily enough, Redd could find none of another blood here. She would likely need to leave if she wished to hold a family, and it was as clear to her as it was to Augur she could not be Wealda without this. She would need to choose between ambition and family, heart and desire.
She knew, when the time came, what her choice would be. It brought her little peace, even if it was the way of things.
For now she joined Masque, following their gaze to the water that dripped but saying nothing quite yet. It was a peaceful moment she would not shatter.
Their sister sidled up alongside them. For for the first time in their lives, Masquerade did not welcome Redd’s company. Their body stiffened and they cast her a pained glance, then looked away. They remained motionless, fixing their marigold eyes on one particular raindrop clinging to the tip of a blade of grass.
Nobody even tried to listen to what I had to say,
they said after a tense silence, still looking anywhere but at their sister.
Even Relic hadn’t listened to what Masquerade was trying to say, though they appreciated the sentiment in his case. They sighed, head drooping.
Redd was met with stiffness but did not mind. Her ear turned at the words, and while she did not feel an argument was necessary, she knew this was not true. Redd had listened but had not agreed and the two were different acts. Yet she understood.
Wealda has to lead all,
she said softly. It wasn’t an apology but it was as much as she knew to say. There was no unity in the pack right now, and any who took up a leadership unearned in the eyes of all would fail. Not for the first time, Redd felt a disconnect in understanding with the others her age, and wondered if it was simply her own inability to understand what drove them.
Redd only wished for leadership because she saw stability was possible in their future, but she could not see it now. She wondered what it was her sister had wanted, what it was she herself had seen.
Masquerade did not follow Redd’s comment right away. They squinted, then tried to contemplate the context. Yes, that was a fact. And they knew now that Redd didn’t want the role for herself, at least not yet. “We should wait,” she’d said.
What are you waiting for?
they wondered, raising their head and looking at her now. I truly believe you or Relic are worthy of that title,
but yesterday had shown them how much the pack valued the Caru’s opinions on these matters. I’m not. That’s why I wasn’t asking to be Wealda. I was asking something else.
They let out a breath, looking out over the plains again. They saw a deer bounding in the distance but made no show of interest.
But it doesn’t matter.
This was important, it seemed, despite their insistence at the end. Redd contemplated it, unsure how to answer at first. It wasn’t something specific she waited for. It was a feeling.
It isn’t my choice.
She waited because the decision would not be hers, because it did not matter if she felt that she was worthy, or that Masque alone did. They must all see it.
Wealda is war and peace.
Avicus had brought them together and they had followed her because it was the way things were. Any who took her place would need to understand, and this was why right now, Redd could herself only choose New Snow. Masque knew peace. Lilia war. And on herself, Redd would not comment, as she had yet to prove herself capable. She had known none would stand for her.
Patience and time would tell.
I would have supported you. I did. I think others would too, even if it meant proving yourself somehow. I believe in you,
and Relic too.
But nobody believed in Masquerade. They thought of Lilia’s refusal, the firm “no” leaving no room for the consideration Masque had requested. They’d felt they’d earned that much. But they’d been wrong.
I miss mother,
Masque said, jaw tightening.
Avicus had seen their value, they were sure of it. Masque probably mattered to the pups too but they were young and simply didn’t know any better. The Caru suddenly found themself doubting they had anything of value to offer their younger siblings. They hadn’t brought back their mother and they couldn’t even offer them stability.
I was going to hunt for the pups,
Masque said quietly, trying not to let yesterday’s events completely undermine them.
She wouldn’t say it despite it’s absence echoing in a way that seemed audible. It isn’t enough.. The pack was more than the two of them, and until she proved it to the others, she could only be grateful to know at least one believed it to be true. She saw a leader in Masquerade as well, but not for the reasons they had spoken. They cared; it was enough.
This was her home. We are her legacy.
She looked at Masque directly, heartfelt. It did not matter how the others saw them, who led or who dispersed. They would carry her with them always and remember the lessons they had been taught. She lived on in them and no one could take that, even if they took everything else.
Redd’s words only served to remind Masque that none of the Redtails were apparently worthy enough to hold a leadership role. Dismay welled in their breast. They felt so powerless. They’d tried to do something about it and failed.
Making sure the pups are fed is something I can do,
they said mostly to themself. Are you coming?
they added, glancing at Redd.
Without waiting for a reply, they glided forward across the dewy meadow. The deer had been bounding eastward. Perhaps there were others, including fawns.
Her words didn’t settle the way she’d wanted them to but that was always the problem with words. They came awkwardly, never correct, and never satisfied. So Redd let herself fall silent and stood to follow, shadowing her sister as they led them on the hunt.
Things would resolve as they needed to and in the meantime the focus was right. Feeding the pups, protecting them as they grew, this was foremost. As they’d said, this was something that they could do.
They nosed through the wet grass, the pungent odor of deer urine made even stronger by the humidity. Masque discovered a trail where the blades were displaced and trampled: a deer path. They moved along it, silently prowling through the summer damp and heat.
They glanced backward to make sure Redd was behind them and paused as an errant thought drifted through their head. In a perfect world, Avicus would have lived to old age and eventually stepped down, making room for Redd to take over as Wealda. They realized that’s what they’d always envisioned, at least, and Masque was now forced to acknowledge that it had been much too idyllic.
I know I’m not an Alpha female,
they found themself whispering to their sister, but I would serve as your second in a heartbeat. I would support you, including helping you rear your pups.
They caught Redd’s eye for a split second, then faced forward and continued slinking along the game trail. Between their own soft footsteps, Masquerade thought they could hear the sounds of a small herd somewhere in the near distance. The conversation promptly ceased, though Masque hoped their remark would stay on their sister’s mind.