Wolf RPG

ava amara woke today with ambition. 

it was early yet.  the rest of her family still slept. she wormed forward on her stomach towards the mouth of the den, listening to the quiet calls of a settling dawn. 

deciding things were just a little too peaceful for her taste, ava turned right around and marched over to @Caracal with every intent to climb his face and wake him with pointy puppy feet.

One of Ava’s claws sinking into his eyelid woke Caracal from a dream wherein Meerkat was being a complete dick to him, which made no sense. Did his older sister even have a mean bone in her body? He startled with a sharp intake of breath, a paw coming up to slap at his face and connecting instead with a small body.

Shhhhh— Caracal gasped, instantly wide awake. —it! Ava, are you okay? Oh my God, I’m sorry! he exclaimed sotto voce, bundling her in his arms and tucking his cheek to the top of her head. That was an accident, I swear to God! I’m so sorry… please forgive me… oof…

He couldn’t help but think of Reyes, tears of blood oozing out of his struck eye.

but it was someone being a dick to him! and while not his sister, it was someone somehow inexplicably related — ava tittered atop mount caracal, about to loosen an earth-shattering shriek (and wake all inhabitants) when a paw came out from the darkness and clubbed her right across her face.  

ava slumped as if struck down by a giant, and in a way she had been. cradled between caracal’s arms, ava begun to register an astounding level of pain originating from her mouth as well as a galloping heart-rate. moreover, this sensation of pain traveled the length of her sensitive nose to her skull  — and pain made her irrationally angry. 

she sank her teeth into anything she could, a rumble-cry of angrypain bursting from between clenched fangs.

Ava’s cry of pain absolutely devastated him, shattering Caracal’s heart into countless sharp little pieces. He had sworn never to hurt a child. He didn’t want to be like his dad. And though it had been an accident, so had Reyes’s attack on him once upon a time. God, he felt like the worst person in the whole damn world.

He tried to gently kiss her brow and soothe the spot where he knew he’d hit her, big fat tears sliding down his face and wetting hers. Holding her weight in one foreleg, he brought up his free paw to gently wipe her face. It trembled terribly.

I am so, so sorry, Ava, I didn’t mean to… he said, flinching but not reacting otherwise when her teeth sank into the side of his paw.

In fact, he made zero effort to pry it out of her teeth. Let her bite him. He deserved her wrath and welcomed his punishment. Caracal’s head bowed over her, a thread of blood still trickling from his swelling eye along with his tears.

ava’s small teeth found their target - in her mind she was a fierce predator shredding flesh from limb. 

in reality, her little toothpick teeth did little more than part the golden shafts of caracal’s fur. 

she was blissfully unaware of the matrix of emotions she’d inspired in her father. her own pain had subdued, the storm of anger abating with it. 

she flinched as a drop of blood landed besides her, darkening her father’s blonde arm with a stain of merlot. for a long time ava peered at it, before she looked upside down at caracal and noticed a thread of blood from one eye. 

oops.

They both stared at the droplet of blood for a beat. Very gently, Caracal lowered Ava to the ground, his other paw still lodged in her mouth. He blinked hard, reaching his now free paw up to touch at his own eyelid. He hissed a little. At least it was already his bad eye. It explained why he’d struck out in his sleep, not that it soothed his conscience whatsoever.

I’m sorry, he whispered down to her one last time, sniffling as he finally tugged his foot loose. Can I make it up to you? Maybe we can…

He looked around the den, amazed that they hadn’t woken up anyone else. Caracal’s eyes rested on Heda’s dove-like face for a moment. What if she’d reacted like Towhee had to Reyes, chasing him from the den and exiling him from the island? The situation—and its context—were surely different, though the guilt remained a heavy yoke on his slim shoulders.

Attention cutting back to Ava, he finished his earlier thought by saying, Maybe you and I can go for a walk together on the beach?

no such apprehension or guilt shown in ava’s inquisitive features. she peered back at caracal as he placed her upon the ground, reaching to gingerly feel the new mark ava had lovingly left upon his disabused eye. 

while silent, her ears pricked as he mentioned a walk on the beach. yes! she would very much like that — in a matter of seconds her sulky mood was forgotten (as was the injury she’d caused her father’s person) and she was bouncing up and down at his feet, aiming a nip or two at any exposed toes as if to tell him to get to stepping.

Ava seemed to forget all about the incident as soon as the word “beach” left his lips. Caracal felt a great deal of relief, though the guilt lingered, evidenced by the damp fur on his cheeks. He just hoped that Ava might forget all about this, even if he never would, and that it wouldn’t revisit her traumatically on some future day.

He motioned for her to lead the way out of the den, following closely behind her. He was humbled by her forgiveness and trust. It might have had a lot do with her age, though Caracal still didn’t take it for granted. He sent up a little prayer thanking God for small miracles as he trotted just behind her, heading downhill toward the outer edges of the island.

The grass gave way to soft sand. Caracal looked up and down the curving coastline, then returned his attention to the little girl. Would she venture closer to the water or was she happy to hang back and play in the sand? Perhaps they could build something out of the wet stuff, though he would do whatever Ava wanted to do, honestly.

ava absolutely would forgive, because ava would absolutely forget. there was an undercurrent of vengeance in the small girl, but it would ever direct outwards — and she was far too young to truly tap into such deep wellsprings. 

she looked behind her once or twice to ensure that her father was still following, but eventually she tired of his careful pace and went full sprint down towards the tide flats. 

so many sights and smells competed for her attention! she nosed from one tiny pool to the next, sometimes thrusting her entire head underwater to better see what inhabited the other side.

The tide pools drew her attention and Caracal loped after her like a shadow, keeping a close eye on the child lest she come into any kind of harm. Just thinking that word made him cringe inwardly, remembering the instant when his sleepy fist had connected with her small, soft body. It made him sick to his soul.

And though she had already moved past it, he decided he would feel better if he did some kind of penance. It came to him almost immediately: he would not let himself sleep in the den for a few days. He would ask the other adults to keep watch while he isolated himself elsewhere. This would have the added benefit of preventing any further accidents.

He would have to tell @Heda about it, he knew. He dreaded confessing to her, though he would be honest with his wife and explain why he wanted to keep away from their family, just for a few days. Hopefully she would agree that it was the right course of action. If she didn’t, Caracal knew he could at the very least trust in her counsel.

with her head underwater, ava was unaware of any of the pensiveness that stole across caracal’s face. 

she blew bubbles and laughed as they fumbled past her head, up into the surface where they popped and sizzled in seafoam rings. when she laughed, the sound of it was curiously distant. then she inhaled and —

saltwater seized her senses, sending her into a convulsing fit of coughs. she pulled her head from the water with a yak, turning to caracal with her little tongue hanging out between haggard breaths.

Though he hesitated to touch her—his paw hovering, shaking slightly, just over her back—Caracal eventually brought himself to pat Ava lightly as she apparently inhaled some water. He grimaced, just trying to keep in mind that every wolf had to learn this lesson at some time or another.

Down the wrong pipe? he commiserated gently, now smoothing his paw from shoulders to hips, his touch still begging forgiveness. Just keep breathing and it’ll clear out in a min. We can’t breathe underwater, whether it’s fresh or saltwater, he explained in a calm voice.

As he continued stroking her convulsing sides, something caught his eye just over yonder. His paw froze, then resumed its petting, as he glanced down into the baby’s face. Had she recovered yet?

Look over there, he whispered to her, ducking his face toward hers and pointing. What is that? he asked with genuine curiosity, just praying that he wasn’t about to lead Ava into more harm.

ava’s breathing came in leaping bounds - her throat burned as tears stung her eyes. caracal’s gentle pats seemed to coax some rhythm back into each breath, and as he rubbed her sides ava gradually felt things return to normal. 

she’d learned something valuable then: water was not for breathing. 

collecting the last of her small hiccuping breath, ava’s auds perked (kek) as caracal indicated something of interest just out of eyesight. she sat up straight, floppy tail wagging as his face loomed close. it was the perfect opportunity for a sloppy puppy kiss — which she gave before darting off in the direction he’d been looking.

As Ava bounded ahead, Caracal straightened and touched the spot on his jaw where she’d kissed him, eyes soft. It was like absolution, though he was still determined to do his penance later. For now, he must keep his attention on her and make certain this peculiar object on the beach didn’t pose any danger.

Hopping after her, Caracal partly inserted himself between Ava and the… thing. He held up a paw to get her to slow to a stop, then coaxed her closer with another twitch of his wrist. Together, they would examine the peculiarity.

It’s beautiful, he observed aloud with a little gasp. Isn’t it? he said, catching Ava’s eye. Don’t touch it, Caracal advised in the next breath. It looks fragile… and slimy… and did I mention beautiful? It looks like little flowers.

ava bounded towards the dark spot on the sand that captured caracal’s attention. when she was near enough to practically shove her nose within its rosettes, caracal neatly inserted himself between them. 

she looked up with a scowl, peering around a singular ruddy leg. the intriguing patch was rounded and shadowed, studded with pearly white rosettes here and there. there was a gleaming shape to it, a shimmer that invited her to look deep within. 

ava amara maintained an air of polite interest for all of two seconds before she —



touched! the thing! it jiggled delightfully under a darting paw. ava leapt back with a playful shriek, totally ignoring that caracal had moments before cautioned against any intimacy. 

she was about to reach around him for a second poke when caracal spoke of flowers. her ears pinned as she withdrew, scuttling under the shelter of caracal’s elbow. the association of flowers and being struck by her sister robbed her features of all joy.

Ava Amara, Caracal reprimanded without any heat at all, since he didn’t have the heart for it.

There was nothing stern about the expression on his face, either. His eyes danced in amusement as the child leaped back with a shriek. Caracal wondered what it had felt like, though before he could see for himself, something in the little girl’s demeanor changed abruptly and alarmingly.

What’s wrong? Did it hurt you? he asked, heart in his throat as he crouched down in front of Ava, paws gently reaching for her tinier toes.

flowers. the word conjured to mind the angry grimace, a flying fist —

ava slunk behind caracal’s legs. as he reached for her toes she looked upon the sand, eyes watering. she was too distraught to answer. 

she brought a chubby fist across her eyes and sniffled, stifling the beginning of a soft cry.

He could not tell what ailed the child. Her paw looked fine to his trained eye. Soon enough, she slipped it out of his grasp and sulked to a spot behind him. Caracal followed her with his eyes, equal parts concerned and heartbroken when Ava began to cry.

Can you tell papa what hurts, Ava? he asked, stretching out on his belly to put his face on the same level as hers.

She couldn’t know it, though this was probably one of the first times he’d acknowledged their relationship out loud. Caracal had felt a great deal of uncertainty with his role, in part because of Everett but also because some part of him had been reluctant to embrace the four newcomers thrust upon him without warning. He hadn’t mentioned it to anyone—not even his wife—in the hope that this moment would come.

And it had. Caracal knew without a doubt that he was Ava’s and the others’ papa. It explained his horrible guilt for hurting her and the tender, paternal way he tried to nudge aside her little fist and nose away her tears.

flowers. their stiff petals bobbed in the recess of her mind — the angry sneer of her sister looming close —

ava felt her little arm pulled away from her cheek. she looked up to the bright red of her father — surely the selfsame red that scarred her face — and saw in his concerned gaze a reflection. 

her reflection; the same face that had stared back in the stillwaters of the salt flats. 

but then I t wasn’t her face, it wasn’t her eyes. the moment she noticed the lurker in those peerless pools was the moment it vanished. she frowned, unable to conjure into any understandable speech what she’d seen. 

what was wrong? how could she answer? 

ava raised her paw again, this time to wipe away a tear that had halted its progress halfway down her round face.

He felt so helpless when she only tearfully returned his gaze, one chubby fist coming up to scrub at her own cheek. Caracal swallowed a sigh and sat up, looking around as if for answers. He supposed what he ought to do was take her back to the den, where she could hopefully find comfort in someone else: Heda, perhaps, or her siblings.

Come on, he said in a quiet voice, reaching out to gently touch her elbow, let’s get you back. Maybe your mama and sibs are awake by now.

Bracing himself for the inevitable confession to his wife about what had happened—how he’d somehow managed to upset Ava twice in one morning—Caracal led the way back toward their homestead at the top of the hill.

there was no comfort to come for ada; not in heda, not in her home, not even in the fractured gaze of abel. ada would forever be set apart — and this was the first day she was cognizant of it. 

caracal had his own torments to mull over. ava nodded numbly as he suggested they return home, thumbing one last silent tear from her cheeks before she rose on four chubby legs. 

she took one step, then another, and another. away from the flowered tunicate, away from the beach, away from the gradually unraveling thread that was her split sense of self.