November 09, 2014, 09:25 AM
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There were so many things that had dampened her spirits and weighed heavily on her shoulders. From the heartache over having restricted duty as an Alphess to the sudden appearance of her pressing father, Paarthurnax had made a dark, solemn discovery: she could not be the woman that her partner wished her to be. She didn't like who she was as a member of Noctisardor Bypass, and it was painfully obvious that despite her position as a leader, her word would forever be disregarded in favour of her mate's. The Roman way of life was not something she fit into, something she'd come to realise she could never be a functioning part of.
It was ruthless. It was harsh, demanding and unforgiving. It was not something she wished her children to grow up in.
Despite the love she'd come to feel for Shadow, part of her had never come to accept the personality he'd hidden from her. He unveiled his Roman bloodline to her following their official claim of the Bypass, and despite her uncertainty Paar had soldiered on. She'd believed that deep down, her sweet and sensitive young outrider awaited to be revealed again when the dust surrounding their new life settled, but alas Shadow's arrogance and pride continued to rule him. Leadership got to his head, turned him into someone she didn't think him capable of. Someone who needed slaves and captives to make him think he was powerful. For a wolf who valued and believed in freedom, Paarthurnax could not accept his motives no matter the reasons behind them. He had proven that he was not who she thought he was.
Undercover of night, Paarthurnax moved quietly and carefully through the territory that had been her home. A handsome snowy owl hooted from somewhere above, taking flight and casting shadow across the crimson wolfess before it settled on another branch to observe her departure. It was at the invisible borderline that she paused in her tracks and looked over a narrow shoulder, keen to be sure that no one was following before she exhaled a solemn sigh and made off at a brisk trot in a predictable direction. It was there on Noctisardor outskirts that she shed her worries of living up to Shadow's unrealistic expectations, of disappointing her Roman subordinates, of failing the pack by being an Alphess who was not of their heritage.
Her real home in Swiftcurrent Creek awaited her, and Paarthurnax Frostfur went to it willingly.