Gunnar stood stalwart staring off into the coming horizon. Not for the first time wondering if he should step down. Taktuq and Tauris made most of the decisions now. He deferred to their titles and thoughts more often than not. And he had never been meant for leadership. No his mother had been the queen. Even his father had bowed to her. A wild man who bowed to no one.
He was alao getting too old. Forgetting things. Forgetting faces. It was painful and heartbreaking, but it was also reality. He knew it would catch him eventually.
Growing old is an unpreventable part of existence. But Tauris refuses to accept it. She overlooks his pelt that surrenders to gray and the gait that has not known steadiness this year. The slump of his shoulders as she draws up behind him is the fatigue of fatherhood, and not old age.
She teases his shoulder with a little nip. She disturbs his peace. She wants his play. She fears the alternative, in which Gunnar was too pained to give chase, too old not to feel the creep of imminent grief.
“Do you want two more children? I’m looking to offload mine,” her smile flickers, but her eyes are wide and staving the gloss of a tear.
Broken ear flicked at the sound of pawsteps. Head turned with gentle eyes and a warm smile.
A small dip of shoulder a spark of gwnuine joy in his gaze. He would give chase if she really wanted, but not for long. He wouldn't be able.
I love little onesm so of course. But i give you two minutes before you want them back.
laughter in his voice
“Ohhh I don’t know about that. I think if I got one full night’s sleep I could do anything in the world! I could sprout wings and fly away,” she cackles and weaves a little circle around Faðir.
Her own steps were not so agile anymore, the fullness of her middle swaying awkwardly along with her trot. Eventually they both needed to catch breath. She was badly out of shape.
“What do you think of Fig?” She asks as their shoulders collide among the laurels. She lets the side of her face sink into his familiar sturdiness, as always he would be.
He laughed. Well don't fly too far we'd miss you.
Gunnar shifted to allow her room to lean. Happy to share his sturdy build for her. we take for granted sleep until the babes come.
Her next words drew a soft hmm. What did he think of the quiet man that had followed her here.he didn't know him well, but he had stayed to care for them and that was enough for him.
I think he seems a good sort. Dependable, and fun. Good father, good mate.
Her heart blooms, up over her cheeks and into the tips of her ears. By instinct she did not trust much. She had come out of the North with claws bared, prepared for disappointment. Fig wouldn’t let her have it.
“He surprises me. I don’t think there’s anything I like so much as being surprised,” a grin widens her mouth. It was a madness, but the incredibly lovely kind. She hadn’t expected him, nor the children, they were mere thoughts in someone else’s life. But now-
“I didn’t think I’d ever do this. Now I cannot imagine it any other way.” Gunnar’s experience is her own. Several months ago they’d both never had children, nor partners. Their lives were so different. Beside him she is still, in awe of how quickly everything can change.
And- she knew had to ask that which she feared knowing the answer to.
“How are you, Gunnar?”
He saw the roses bloom in her face and knew she was lost to the sway of another, but it was good. May she never know a love so encompassing she lost herself as his mother had, but rather. She knew one that treated her well that made her his equal.
I learned at ean early age everything can change in mere seconds. So I'm pleased that you know this. That knowledge will serve you well. And motherhood looks good on you.
Her next question and he smiled, though it didn't quite reach his eyes.
I'm an old man, Tauris. I feel the early bite of fall already and my memory fails me at times, but I am still alright.
She glows, imbuing with pride in his words, and his approval. It was what she had wanted so desperately to hear from her own father, but never would. Gunnar was more that man to her than he’d ever been. She sighs, eyes finding their paws, brown beside gray.
Yesterday looked so different. She knew tomorrow could, too.
“You’re not. My grandfather lived until thirteen, he was spry well into double digits- and you’re in much better shape than he was,” she insists. There is denial, because if there wasn’t, she’d be forced into the acceptance that his time was limited, and she didn't think she could bear that.
She was happy with his praise. That made his heart glad. But also tired him, only because the precious girl needed to also have pride in herself.
Gunnar knowing what she wanted, and also knowing he wouldn't make ot that far. But he didn't say that.
Perhaps, you're right. No one really knows do they?
She shakes her head in agreement. No one knows.
It could be a year from now. It could be tomorrow. And suddenly Gunnar’s life was being measured by time. Her stare grows empty, her eyes grow with tears.
“We can’t do this without you.”
Gunnar chuckled and pulled her to him. His head along her shoulder.
You absolutely can and you will. You and Taktuq are strong and smart and brave. Gentle and sweet. You will raise the stars, Tauris. And dont you forget it.
A small smile, a lump in his throat. But he wholeheartedly believed it.
She’s pulled into his arms and that’s when the tears come in earnest as she clings to him. A future without Gunnar in it was unimaginable. And there was so much to say-
How grateful she was to him; how he’d saved her that morning at the stone circle; how he’d seen things in her that she hadn’t been able to see in herself; how horribly guilty she felt about the boy and how sorry she was that she let it come between their relationship; how she loved him.
She opens her mouth but it’s only to sob.
Gunnar made gentle noises of comfort. Unsure exactly what to do, but he let her cling. Because he didn't know how long. No one did. So he'd allow her this. It helped him too.
Gunnar held no ill will towards her of Bonnie. He knew where the boy was safe and sound
@Bonario. He wished he could see him more. But his body wouldn't let him amymore.
There there darling girl.
tag for reference
She’s held like a child, it’s what they both need in that moment.
Last year she was alone. She was determined to keep that way. She never wanted to rely on someone else to get by. She thought this was strength.
This year she is surrounded by pack and they are integral. She cannot exist without them. And she knows this is real resilience. This is what Gunnar has taught her.
“Thank you,” she cracks into the tawny fur along his shoulder.
A time ago she had made a plan to go to Riverclan and learn medicine, enough to help ease his ailments. She would not be able to leave her children- but there was one bright mind who could. One particularly good with plants.
Gunnar didn't move from his position. He held her, as tightly as he could. Stalwart as always. He knew his bones would ache, and he would grow tired, but the thought of releasing her was to unpleasant to bear.
You are most welcome.
He spoke softly with a smile.
Gunnar had seen many shiftings and changings throughout his life, but family whether found or blood was always there. You didn't always have the blood ties that some did. Sometimes you simply had the love you carried. As it had been with his father and his mother, and as he tried to share.
Just love.