Wolf RPG

Ashlar continued to press forward, heavily weighed down by all of his doubts around the return that was closer and closer approaching. Would he recognize them? Would they recognize him? Would they even still be there? Would they resent him for leaving?

He didn’t know. He didn’t even know how he felt about the things he’d chosen. He had abandoned them because he couldn’t abandon Avicus, and even though he knew he’d do it again if faced with the same choice, he didn’t know what kind of father that made him. He would probably find out soon.

Ashlar listened as he walked, noting the birds that sang in the trees, and the autumn colors that crackled and shifted under his paws. He hadn’t been able to summon the music for a long time, but this place was beautiful. It held its own sort of music. He allowed it to start to empty his thoughts, and while he didn’t entirely forget, he felt a measure calmer.

Arric wasn't often out of his borders, but a small bit of desperation for calmness bade him leave.

Blue eyes taking in the trees and the plant life and the animals. Fall was precious and beautiful. The sun played with the red undertones of his usual black fur.

He stopped to listen to the birds. And he froze when movwment caught his gaze. A smile lit hia face when he realized who it was.

Ashlar!

Ashlar thought he might make the entire journey uninterrupted. If he was honest with himself, he wasn’t traveling as quickly as he could be, but he dreaded what he might find. What if the Rise was gone?

Ashlar’s ear flicked as he heard a familiar voice, and he turned towards Arric with surprise that quickly turned to relief. Arric! The smile he gave didn’t last as long as it might have, but it was genuine, and for the first time in months his eyes shone with actual happiness.

I forgot, this is near where you live, isn’t it? He stepped forward to give the other man a greeting, somewhat hesitantly at first. It had been a while since he’d seen a friendly face.

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Arric searched the face of his friend with a smile that lit up his blue eyes and moved forward boldly to greet kindly. He wasn't sure if Ashlar would exactly like that, but his excitement was paramount.

A sniff to his head and a nudge to the crown of his ear. Followed, by a step back and a look down with crinkled eyes of mirth. 

Yupp. Don't live that far away. What brings you here? You doing okay? How did the spring and summer go?

It didn’t take Ashlar much encouragement. As soon as Arric moved in close, Ashlar pressed forward and embraced him, tucking his forehead against the other man’s chest with a forwardness that surprised even him. His throat closed and he wasn’t able to speak right away. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gotten a hug like this but he absolutely needed it.

Sorry. His voice was tight, but he managed to fight back any tears that might have come with a small laugh. I just… it’s… it’s really good to see you.

What brought him here, and how the summer went, were two very loaded subjects. Ashlar looked down, unsure how to even start. I… I’m on my way home. I think. If he still had a home. I was trying to… to find someone. But I couldn’t. And he hated himself for it. He knew it wasn’t his fault. He knew he had tried. It just didn’t matter.

Arric squeezed him as tight as allowed. Clearly he needed it as much as the big beast here.

Arric chuckled a deep rumble and shook his head. No aplogy necessary I'm always up for hugs and cuddles anytime. And it'sgreat to see you too!

Arric frowned and nudged the other if allowed. His voice growing soft with kindness. Wel li bet knowing you, you did your absolute best. But sometimescthose who are lost choose it and no matter what you do. You won't find em, especially if they don't wanna be found.

It felt so nice to just let himself melt into someone else. He’d missed it so much that he was reluctant to pull back, but after a few moments he felt heat rush to his face and he did move a little, feeling the familiar flutter in his chest as he looked down. Arric was always so ready with a hug and a kind word.

He shook his head, swallowing. Something… really bad happened. I don’t think she left on purpose. He couldn’t put words to what he really thought might have happened. As if saying it might make it real. But I can’t… I had to come back. For the rest of them. Even with the choice made, he longed for reassurance that it was right. Reassurance he knew he shouldn’t be asking for, because Arric had no reason to know what was right. It wasn’t his decision to bear.

You’re still… things are okay? Ashlar asked as he was struck by his own rudeness. He’d spilled all of that without even asking!

Arric didn't mind the closesness. Truth be told he himself was a bit touch starved. It had been awhile. Arlette had hugged him recently and that had been nice.

Arric listened and nodded his head, a glowing admirstion in his eyes for the wolf that kept on even when it was hard.

Sometimes you have to make a choice for the many and yourself. And if it is meant to be it will all work out. I'm sorry you had to deal with bad things. It isn't fair.

And it wasn't Ashlar was one of those wolves that was kindness incarnate. Just always sweet.

I am okay. Been getting in my own head a little too much. Feeling a little worthless, but I think I'm coming back around.

Despite his own emotional turmoil, Ashlar immediately felt a sudden defensiveness at the idea that Arric might feel worthless. He shook his head and looked at the other man with the first spark of intensity he’d shown in a while. You could never be worthless. Then, realizing how emotional that must have appeared, he ducked his head with a flush of embarrassment. Arric surely knew that!

Sorry. I know it’s easy to feel like that. But it’s never true, especially not for you. He could feel himself getting a little flustered, so he paused and took a moment to let it pass. If it was anyone else he wouldn’t have given himself the time but he knew Arric wouldn’t judge him for it. If Avicus was home then the other man was an old friend, someone you could spend days with and who you felt you’d known a lifetime.

Do you want to talk about it? I’d love to hear about your pack. The good and the bad. He had been gone so long, there was no reason to rush home to the Rise now. Another day wouldn’t hurt anyone.

If Arric did not mind staying, then Ashlar would spend the day with him, catching up and talking about the things that weighed on them both. It would not entirely remove the ache, but it would lighten his spirits considerably for a time. It was more than enough.