There were ao many changes. Some new faces and old. But a small part of her did not trust it. Who were they to return after leaving and who were the new ones to just show up.
Ash was if nothing else a spirtual wolf and it felt as if big things were coming and it made her a tad uncomfortable for she was not ready.
She didn't trust easily, but if she did trust you well good for you. But if you broke it. She would rain hell upon your head and dance upon your grave when you died.
Today she would be found working a soft weasel fur between paws and teerth making it softer, more supple gifts for someone, but who. Atka and Sos would show her.
ash star did not care much for wren. that much was obvious. she wasn't stupid.
but there was a desperate, creeping urge in her veins that begged to at the very least be tolerated by her. she was the leader, for crying out loud! if there was anyone to impress, it would be her, if she was to make riverclan her true home. wren was not here only for silvertongue, even if it sometimes felt that way.
she came to the leader now with a softness to her gaze and the offering of a trout from the pool. it took her far too long to realize ash star was a little bit busy.
thouhh i'h bringh ya thihh a'a' thanhh,
her words are slurred and unintelligible as she spits the fish near the multicolored paws. one of them, she notices, is dipped in charcoal. oh. that's where your name comes from, eh?
Ash didn't hide her displeasure with the wolf Wren. Didn't show any hindrance on her irritation. But she never did. It was beneath her she felt to hide how she felt about others and sometimes it saved time. Perhaps that made her cold, cruel, haughty, no she knew it did. But she was set in her ways now.
A fish was spat near her paws and she shifted them out if the way. Yhough she longed to curl her lip and wrinkle her nose, but she didn't. She saw that Wren was trying, she could at least be graceful enough to pay a small attention.
Ash looked at her paw and then the girl and nodded. My father gave it to me my name and my paw. Thank you for the gift. You have found Riverclan to your liking?
She glanced at the wounds making sure they had not been renewed.
ash star always seemed to look at wren as if she were a complete and utter basket case. it perturbed her, to say the least. she tries to ignore it by offering a tiny, thin-lipped grin.
i have,
she responds. i'm, uh, i'm settling in. still getting used to it.
and she was healing, relatively smoothly, as was silvertongue. this brought her great relief. she could not bring herself to tell her what had happened, not yet; perhaps not ever. no one needed to know. that did not follow her here.
but ash star seemed to be able to tell.
look, i, um, i just wanted to thank you for taking a chance on me. i know the peoples' general opinion of me isn't... the best. so it means a lot to, uh, be able to make this place my home, i guess.
she was saying too much.
Ash didn't think that Wren was crazy, deeply troubled. Very much so. But so was Silvertongue and she had found that sometimes it was the damaged who made each other whole once they learned how. That didn't stop her from being supicious or worry after the woman who had given her a home.
Ash shifted. After being alone or somewhere we feel we don't belong. Being somewhere we care for, it can be hard. We think we don't deserve it or that we shouldn't try. But that is poppycock.
Ash narrowed her eyes. You are welcome. But please do not see my generosity misplaced and care for Silver. She needs it. As do you. I will not ask, and I do not need to know if you don't wish to share. But I have been a healer a long time. I know. You will not do this again, i hope?
She didn't think it needed to be put out so plainly. She tried to be subtle, but it wasn't always her strong suit.
the star's kindness quickly melted into something tinged with what wren could only perceive as — a threat. she felt her throat close on itself.
i know.
excuse me?
wren barks out. she glances down at her forelegs, the unreadable marks that carve the skin beneath her pelt. respectfully, that's none of your fuckin' business.
she wanted to leave. she should leave. her eyes shine with a desolate sheen of tears. silver is--
my girlfriend? my lover? everything, and yet nothing at all? i can assure you that no matter what you think of me, it has nothin' to do with my ability to love her and care for her. i should-- get back to her, actually.
bristling with shame that toils deep in her gut, wren turns to rise to her feet and make her exit if not stopped. you're welcome for the meal.
Ash Stood quickly and spoke her voice low. Stop right now.
There was an anger burning there, but also a little irrittation and sadness and a bitter hope. She hoped for the best. She wished them the best she wanted them to be happy. And Wren spent far too long running from her problems were she to make a place in this pack and among her wolves. Then this would stop now.
It is my business if it will affect the wolves that are beneath my care. As a leader it is my job to care and nurture not only their bodies, but also their spirits and their hearts. Of which you fall into that category.
A deep sigh left her chest as she settled back to her haunches. I meant no offense, perhaps I spoke badly. I am not good with the words. I'd rather just get it all out.
I did not question your love for her. That is clear to all around. What I am questioning is if you will hurt yourself again, because Silver will not be able to handle that. I want you to thrive and sometimes that means facing things we find shameful or hard to swallow. That was the reason for my question. Not to cause you offense or make you feel badly.
hurt myself? are you outta your fuckin' mind?
now there was true rage, true defensive anger that barrelled from wren's core. i had an accident. i slipped and fell several months ago, since you're so concerned. and either way, even if i did fall off my rocker, let me reiterate that you don't even know me. you don't get to judge me based on how i look, alright?
her lips twist into a scowl; her eyes burn. i'm not a danger to myself, or you, or anyone else. capiche? that satisfy you?
Ash's fur rose and she was at her feet with a growl and a lunge a snap towards Wren, but she didn't touch her yet.
Eyes of deep sky blue blazing and a growl that reverberated through her small frame.
Bull shit, but you say what you want. I know better.
Lips pulled back a fang showing. No I'm not satisfied. Now i see your true nature and i despise it. I was trying to have a conversation a nice one and like the hotheaded she wolf you are you rose to the occasion with malice.
Ash Star held her head higher. Every inch the queen she knew she was. Your first mistake was assuming like an ass that you are the only one to care about Silvertongue or that we hadn't seen it. I see it well and i worry for it. She has seen more than her fair share of bad and so have you. She internalizes it and you externalize it and it will eat you up and spit you out. Anger has no place here. Leave me. Go back to the cavern with Silver and know you made a grave error in taking your anger out on me when all i did was point out the truth you are to afraid to face.
Ash stood and waited for Wren to leave eyes full of anger and a small amount of pain. This was not what she had wanted but Sos had made his bed between the two
ash star grew violent. teeth turned for her, and wren knew better than to meet it with her own. she ducks her body in a swerve, muscles taut with tension and eyes ablaze with shards of brewing resentment.
heart thudding, jaws clenched; there was so much to say, so much she wanted to say, and yet all wren can manage is one scathing remark:
go to hell.
before it gets any worse, wren retreats to the safety of her bed beside silvertongue. she would not speak again for some time.