Wolf RPG

For a moment Massaraq turned, put nuutuittuq back in his sights and skirted the edge of the trails, moose and deer and prey abounding in the wetlands. And he let himself follow, let himself think, for a moment, of returning. Of hunting down one of these creatures, tussling with it grinding them both into the dirt and drifting off into a dream. Let himself think of home, of his anaa and tataa, if they would welcome him. Of Ajei and Arrluk and Kassuq if they had returned from their own journesy. Of Chickadee and Kivaluk. Of passing by Moonspear and fulfilling his promise to Seal to stop by and see the mountain. For a moment. He thought of it.

Despite the opportunity to meet new wolves being one she was loathe to miss out on, Bridget had known she’d serve the pack better right now staying back to keep an eye on things in Brecheliant. She used to be fuckin great at hunts, but hadn’t really tried since her accident and recovery. She wasn’t afraid of trying, but a better time and place might be when there was less on the line. She was a terror to fish and birds alike in the meantime.

She didn’t want to wander far. However, it was also hard not to worry about Teya. Bridget had been supportive of the trip, seeing that Brontë was eager to go, but she didn’t like being parted after being in near-constant company. She slept worse, and she knew she wouldn’t get much rest until her friend was safely home.

She’d gone out into the Fen for a little space and for the calming presence of the trees. But eventually her steps led her to Ibis’s grave. Bridget spent a long moment staring at the ground, remembering the wolf who had somehow captivated Teya in a way that was almost enviable. She was ashamed that, for her part, she barely remembered the woman. She’d died so suddenly, and so soon after they’d joined. Look after her, alright?. If ghosts were real, then she owed it to Teya.

She was distracted by someone else passing through the trees. Bridget moved carefully towards them, though she wasn’t hostile yet. The odds that they meant trouble for Brecheliant were pretty damn low. They looked young, on first glance, and like they’d been traveling for quite a while. Hey. You alright? They looked fine, but for some reason, Bridget felt the need to ask. Something about the way they moved, and the focus they wore, seemed off.

Massaraq startled, passing through the trees and his head whirled to the source, paws stuttering in step, shoulders and sides still sore but not so much to stifle the lurch of his movements. It took him a moment to register the question and another blink to respond. "Oh. Sorry you startled me. Yes. Yes I'm alright." Although he must appear at least somewhat lost to elicit the question. The moment he had put nuutuittuq back in his sights and yet he was still no closer to home - he could go back and sit beside his anaa's ulaaq but his journey would not be over.

He was started by the concern of the question, asking after him before even knowing his name for he was fairly sure he had not met this wolf before. "Just feeling a bit homesick, and sore." He smiled, a self-deprecating twist of his lips showed his good humor a lightness. Easier by far to focus on that than the ache in his chest and most likely pointless musings. He wondered what brought this wolf to the stillness of the place. There was life and prey abound and yet a serenity to it too. Perhaps that was why he had not noticed her, a sense of security from the quiet - as if the living did not linger long.

A second look and he saw that she was missing a limb. When he had met Phox he had not asked what it had been like, how the older wolf got along without it. Two wolves in just a few months missing hind legs, he wondered if it was a more common injury than he thought. "Massaraq." He offered, a tip of his head as he recovered his manners. All the things in his head and yet his heart knew they were not near leaving his chest feeling hollow. He hoped the stranger could not sense it.

Sorry. Habit. I'm a traveling medic, usually, so when I see a stranger I've gotten used to checking in. She explained herself with a light huff of laughter. She probably should have left him be, but Bridget was never great at keeping her nose out of things when it came to her job. Bridget.

He looked exhausted. She'd seen tired before and he was getting near Teya levels of stubborn, clearly. How close is home, Massaraq? Because if you've got a ways to go, you look like you could use a good meal. He hadn't exactly said where he was heading, but he was clearly going somewhere with purpose. Settling in at Brecheliant meant she was less able to run into those who needed her help; this wasn't healing, but it was at least something.

An exhalation as he found his footing in the conversation and a slight wave of his paw, she had asked in kindness which, for Massaraq, meant that there was no apology and he matched her laughter with a tentative smile of his own and a nod of confirmation at her name. He answered her question instinctively, honestly, before realizing that his words might not offer much explanation at all and he was not sure how to explain it himself. "I...a few days travel north but I can't go back yet. I'm on a journey." Why could he not go back? He wanted to, with all the aching in his bones and with a hunger that drowned out the growl of his stomach to his own ears only. So why had he felt no tug, no pull to eat the herb his anaa gave him and float on a dream? On his own he only ever dreamed of home, in the distance.

At her offer of a meal he could not help the slightly hopeful bent to his voice, hunger was not a familiar feeling nestled in the spine in a pack full of fine hunters. But he was not as talented or skilled as Arrluk and Ajei. Still, he was hesitant to take when he was travelling light and did not know when he might return the favor. "I'm afraid I don't have much on me to offer in return, but. My anaa, my mother, is a healer as well I could help you gather herbs if you feel that's a fair trade for your kindness?" He stumbled a bit over moonwoman's title, realizing only after he called her the most familiar appellation that it would not be apparent to someone who had not spent some time in Moonglow or its daughter's packs.

A journey? Sounds perfectly mysterious. Bridget smiled as she pulled a nibbled on beaver out from nearby and tossed it his way. And it’s really nothing. You’re doing me a favor, since I couldn’t eat it and don’t want to watch it go to waste.

She’d brought it intending to take a break between herb gathering, but with Teya gone, her nerves were too on edge for lunch. Maybe her appetite would come back later, but at the moment he clearly needed it more than she did.

Anaa. You must know Sialuk. She recognized the word immediately, though she wasn’t sure exactly what it meant. Context said some kind of relative… or title. If you do, even better. As far as I know, our packs are friends, though that’s never been a requirement for me. Healers code. If someone needs something, and I have the ability, then it’s my job.

She was filling the space a bit, presumably while he ate. It was also nice to talk to someone new though. Someone she could actually help, right now, right here. Things felt so much more complicated back home.

Massaraq was both too hungry and not quite prideful enough to refuse the kindness so he accepted the nibbled on beaver with grateful thanks and a smile. "Well thank you then." And began taking bites. In between he gave a partial shrug of his shoulders. "Not too mysterious, it's a tradition for boys to go on spirit walks or journeys before becoming men. When I feel it is right I'm supposed to make a hunt and eat this and dream." He nudged forward the pack he had been carrying, the fungus had begun to smell familiar to him after carrying it so long but he was still unsure of what he would dream of. "But I'm not sure when that will be." He admitted quietly.

At the mention of Sialuk he perked up and nodded. "What pack are you from? Sialuk is my sister, sistraa, or half." He had not realized that Moonspear had allies to the south, or perhaps Moonglow. But then again he had not travelled to packs that were not founded by his sisters and never so far south.

Bridget settled in as he began to eat, happy to take a moment and share the company. It was a welcome distraction and a nice change from pacing around in the caldera. She didn’t want to prod him too much for news of home when he clearly missed it, but she was enjoying hearing of their traditions.

I can’t speak as an expert on it, but I imagine it’s whenever you feel ready. I wouldn’t worry about rushing it along too quickly. Growing up comes with its own problems. She smiled at the quip, then added more seriously - Whenever you pick will be the right time. It has to be, or you wouldn’t have chosen it.

Whether his anxiety was real or just something she imagined, she hoped that helped in some way. Traditions like these were incredibly important; they had done something similar in the Court. It was the only time she’d ever taken the herbs they’d used to see places and things not there. She hadn’t enjoyed the experience, but many did; she hoped his was better than hers had been.

Brecheliant, currently. It’s hard to call anyplace home, but this is the closest I’ve found so far. Sialuk’s brother! It’s nice to meet you, doubly, then! I came to the Moonspear quite a bit, a while back, to help with a few patients. I haven’t had the chance to travel to the other villages Sialuk mentioned yet. Maybe this summer I can change that. If things had calmed a bit by then.

Her advice was sound and it soothed him slightly to hear it, though he felt that his worries would not fully be quelled until he had returned home once more. But trusting in himself, the ancestors, and the world he knew was what his anaa would have told him. Ajei too probably. "I hope so. Are all healers so wise or am I just lucky?" A smile quirked on his lips if only because the words seemed something that he would have tried to tell himself unsuccessfully and had an easier time believing out of someone else's lips.

It was a small world after all. "Yes! It's a good time to visit, there'll be plenty of young ones around by then and the hunting will be good." He added, he remembered the wolves who had made the journey to visit Moonglow and his Anaa's hearth as the weather began to warm. It was a time he looked on fondly if only because it was so tied up with his memories of childhood. There was a moment of dissonance when he realized that he would no longer be a young one in the den while his anaa received visitors but an adult himself. Would he have younger siblings? Somehow that thought was even odder, he had siblings and older siblings but the idea of having to look out for someone else perhaps even be someone they (physically at least) looked up to was strange. He did not feel ready.

I’m one of a kind. Bridget replied jokingly, puffing herself up with a confident smile. Then she couldn’t hold it and laughed. I think most of us understand the importance of knowing the things you can control and the things you can’t. It kind of comes with the territory. Being a healer meant knowing when to hold on and, just as importantly, when to let go. It wasn’t an easy lesson for anyone to learn.

She’d need to be sure to bring a gift for the kids, then! Something for them to enjoy or something to help the pack, maybe. If nothing else she could fish and collect a few to carry with her, but herbs were another option. There were some in the forests nearby that she knew couldn’t be found in the mountains as easily.

Sialuk knows, I’m sure. But for any of you, I’m only a call away if anything happens. I’m sure the p… villages will be blessed with nothing but happiness. She adjusted, remembering the term Sialuk always used. Then, curious, she couldn’t help adding a question of her own. He was young, but clearly on a journey to becoming a man. Is there someone specific you’re looking forward to getting back to? It really wasn’t any of her business, but that had never stopped her before! He could deflect the question easily enough.

His own laugh echoed hers, although he wondered at the letting go of things out of one's control. Massaraq knew he could not bring either of his sisters back, and yet...it was hard not to wish that he could have changed it, to not resent the grief his brought his family and rage against the what could have been. He tipped his head in agreement at her well wishes, glad for the change of subject warm thanks pouring from his lips. "Thank you." While the future was uncertain he was not so young to think that life did not go on and he knew that there would be new life in the villages.

His head swayed, a bob of his head. After all home was dear to him but he enjoyed the feeling of earth beneath his paws, it was the faces of family that he missed most. "My brothers went on journeys too I'm not sure if they'll be back, but my mother and father and friend Ajei. I don't want them to be sad but I...I guess I hope they miss me too." A curl of worry on his tongue at the last part. He was used to wishing that his family was happy, and yet a part of him could not help but hope that they did miss him, that a part of them did occasionally look the horizon and wonder after him out of sight.

She couldn’t know how much her words actually did but he seemed relieved at least to hear them. She accepted the thanks with a smile and a swish of her tail, letting the subject shift to something slightly less personal.

No significant other, but family and friends that meant something to him. She nodded with assurance that was probably more confident than she had the right to be. Bridget didn’t know his family directly but she knew enough to guess. They do. They’ll put on a brave face about it, especially if the trip was something you wanted to do. They don’t want you to feel guilty taking it. But they are absolutely waiting for you, hoping you’re back sooner than later. Trust me.

Massaraq nodded, though her description sparked something, that he wanted to do. Somehow his own desires had not played a role. In a way it made sense, wolves grew up whether they were ready or not. And yet so close to Galana leaving and Samani passing he had not felt ready to leave and most definitely not ready to grow up, had feared that he would lose his way and not know how to return.

"I didn't really want to go, maybe I just feel conflicted because it felt like something others thought I needed to do, which I understand, but it felt a little bit like they were more excited than me about it." Her words made sense, and made him more hopeful that his family and friends were missing him too, feather securely pinned behind his ear.

Bridget nodded. It wasn’t hard to understand or to sympathize. The feelings he described weren’t uncommon, though everyone had their own reasons for feeling them depending on the time and circumstances.

It can be hard to live up to what our families want us to be. Especially if that differs from what we want ourselves. She paused, then smiled. There were two ways to think of it, really. And she knew which was better for this one here. You left anyway, for them. That shows how much you care, and how much you are willing to do for them. You should be proud of that. They should be too.

She could lecture him on the dangers of letting others run his life, but she got the sense he wasn’t the type to accept rebellion. Not the way she had when she was his age. Hell, she’d even become a healer practically out of spite; she’d have laughed in someone’s face if they’d said something like this to her at that age. Thankfully she’d grown up.

Massaraq nodded, it was true and he knew that his anaa had not been glad to see him go. He remembered her words, reminding him how to find his way home, that he would come home soon and knew that she understood he went reluctantly. And he hoped that how he had acted on his journey, meeting Reverie and now Bridget too would make his family proud - that on his journey and alone they would know he had been treated and treated others with fairness.

"I have a ways to go first, but by the end of it hopefully." And for a moment he did let himself hope that - did let himself see the end. He would make a kill and have a dream and return home. That lingering feeling that he would never be ready, that there would never be a right time, that he would never return faded to the back of his mind, lurked in the shadows but did not press upon him. "How did you meet Sialuk?"