Quote:All welcome! Tags for reference.
John had busied himself over the weeks with marking and hunting, although more like scouting for food. Today began just as any other had, early in the morn he took on whatever task needed to be done, and by the late morning, he started on the west side of the bypass, in Jade fern grove. He had let know @Heda know of his departure and location should she have a need to send for him, but today he aimed to find something special. A real treat….
He slinked past the tree line and put his nose to the ground. He smelt many creatures: Partridges, weasels, and yes…. Woodchucks. A nice meal, and the fur would be a bonus for their current den. Not only did he track down his chuck via smell, but his tiny footprints, which led to a bush where the wood chuck was cleverly hiding.
He snuck close, moving slow and careful, as not to scare it off — Ten feet, five feet…. 3 feet: Boom! He launched himself towards the bush and sprang upon the woodchuck. It squirmed, then after a couple minutes laid still.
“Thank you lord for this meal. May it bless our bodies.” John prayed quietly, then scooped up the woodchuck swiftly and made his way back to the entrance.
Somehow, miraculously Esma's little ordeal with disappearing from Riverclan and spending a week or so miserably wandering around the wilds had ended well. One day she had caught the faint whiff of her mom's scent and had followed it all the way back the familiar corners. There - like all prodigal daughters - she had felt over-joyed to see everything as she had left it. She had embraced the familiarity and even engaged in socialization with other pack wolves. Few days later the novelty had worn off and she was back to her content introverted self.
However, the distressing experience had given the girl more courage to venture outside Riverclan's territory. Her reasoning to do so was very pragmatic - it was harder to get lost, if you knew the area well. So, while she still spent most of her days in the Lost Creek Hollow, either keeping to herself or being useful to her mom, she would venture outside to map the territories. Time from time she would see other wolves in the distance, but - lucky for her - none ever came close.
Today, however, she had been drawn by the sound of hunt and smell of fresh blood. She spotted a sand-colored man walking carrying a woodchuck. Curious - she quietly followed him, staying at a distance paralell to him, watching with interest.
Thank you for rescuing my thread! :D
He had decided to make his way back to the bypass, snow half way up his legs. He made it halfway to the bypass without noticing the young wolf trailing him from a distance. The wind had gotten really cold, and his paws had started to lose feeling, this hastened his speed of travel.
He continued on, still without notice of the pup until he got about a few miles away from his destination, when he stopped at the sound of crunching snow. He swiftly turned his head back to see the young Esme. He dropped the groundhog at his feet, calling out to her in a warm welcoming voice:
“Do not fear, child. My name is John, I am peaceful.” “Tell me, what is your name? What do you seek?”
No problem! :)
When Esma managed to follow someone unnoticed, she liked to imagine herself being invisible. It was a comfortable state to be in and if she had this superpower, she knew she would dare to explore the lands far and beyond. The world did not scare her so much as the other living creatures inhabiting it. Most of her encounters with other people were associated with extreme anxiety, rooting from fear of not knowing, what to do or being asked questions that would reveal her own ignorance. While Esma did not hold her intelligence in high regard, she did not want to embarrass her mom by the rest of the world finding out that her daughter was not smart.
In this particular case - the man, who was carrying his heavy prey, was making a lot of noise and she could remain unnoticed for a lot longer than usual. She had even dared to close the distance between them to find out, how good her stealth was, when he suddenly stopped, turned, dropped the groundhog and talked to her. Esma froze in her tracks, staring at the man like deer in headlights. Her mind frantically tried to decide, what to do.
"Uh..." she started and plopped down.
"Esma?" that had been the first thing he had asked. And the second:
"Food." She could feel her proud ancestors rotating in their graves now.
I am so sorry for keeping you waiting.
The young one stopped in her tracks when he spoke, and just stared. She meekly spoke back, telling her name, Esma, and that she’d been searching for “food”. He wondered why such a young pup would be out here all alone. She must have a pack nearby, he first thought.
“It is good to meet you, Esma.” He replied kindly,
“What food are you looking for? It’s been slightly scare, especially up in the bypass.” It naturally occurred to him that perhaps, should she need help, he could give her a leg off this groundhog, but he would wait it out first.
The man seemed and sounded kind and, while he was talking to her, she was going through plots on, how to steal that groundhog of his more succesfully. Chances were not great, because the animal was big, it would slow her down and the guy would catch up with her quickly. The proximity of her home also did not help much, because she was unsure on, how her mom would act, if she found out that Esma had been out stealing.
So... no. she sighed and met the man's glaze and offered him a small smile. "Will you sacrifice it to your Atka and Sos?" she asked him, struck by a sudden idea. If he was planning on doing that and if his rituals were in any way similar to those her mom practiced... she could memorize the location and return for it later. With John not seeing her steal, he would probably be none the wiser.
She seemed to have an almost plotting look about her, but not for long. She gave a sign, and looked to him with a question: "Will you sacrifice it to your Atka and Sos?" — He didnt know what an Aria and Sos was, but when she mentioned a sacrifice, he then thought about the fact that it could be part of some religion. One thing he knew for certain, if his assumption was correct, it surely wasn’t his religion. “I apologize, but I have no knowledge of who or what you speak of. This groundhog is going to feed my flock, my family. The cold has been harsh on our ability to hunt, but what we need is always provided.”
He looked up and down her body, she was smaller, because of youth, and because prey was indeed poor, he wanted to at least send the child off with something to eat. He ripped off a leg from the ground hog, and threw it towards her.
Huh!
Esma looked down at the unexpected gift and for a moment there wondered, if she had accidentally tapped in her hidden skills of mind-control. She met the man's gaze briefly, as if to make sure that the leg was truly meant for her. Then she extended one of her forepaws and pulled the valuable morsel closer to her. Just in case he changed his mind.
"Do you live a life without gods at all?" she asked then, giving off a vibe as if she pitied the man a little. "When you sacrifice to Atka and Sos, they give you back more," she explained. That was, what Ash Star had taught her and she had no reason to question it. Yes, she felt hungry more often in winter than in the autumn, but never to a point, where she would be starving. More was a relative term. And even having a little of something was more than nothing at all. "If you are deserving, of course. They don't help slackers and cheats," she added.
She hesitantly took the piece of groundhog, pulling it closer, her gaze meeting his briefly before she spoke. He replied to her with a warm and scholarly like voice: “I do in fact live my life under one God. A single God who has done countless things for the lives he created. I do not sacrifice earthly possessions to Him, merely dedicate my life to serving him and carrying out His will and commandments. So long as I obey Him, I will be provided all I need in life.” And as she spoke of his God, he felt a warm feeling in his chest, a small smile coming to his face.
Hey, at least this girl didn’t scorn him like many had, at least she believed in something, even though it was not a shared belief.
“I thank you for listening, Esma. And I do hope you enjoy the leg of Groundhog.” Before long, he would turn to go, but would wait out for her answer.
Would you mind to extend this thread a little longer? Esma will be going for Spiritualist trade and I could use this thread towards her receiving apprenticeship. She is very interested in religion and has many questions.
John's answer floored Esma. She stared at him with surprise in her eyes, because up until now she had had an idea that other people might have their Atka and Sos. The same gods, but by different name. But having jsut one?
"Where did your god put the other one?" she asked, not ready to accept monotheism. It felt against everything she had been taught.
"All your life?" she tilted her head to the side, confused. To her dealings with Atka and Sos were fragmentary. She helped mom prepare the offerings and tagged along with the rituals, but the rest of the time she made herself invisible to them, by living inside her thoughts more than in this world. To her both bear-gods were like business partners. She did her side of the deal and they did theirs. All fair.
"Why?" she pressed further.
"What do you have to do for... is it a boy or a girl?" she asked next.
"What does it look like? Is it a bear too?"
Of course. He’s going for Spiritualist as well. :D We can satisfy both needs. ;) Thanks a bunch to Esma for being an open audience.
Questions, many questions, and he was ready to answer them to the best of his ability. He sat down as he started with the first one:
“It’s just been him. He does, however, have a Son. Jesus. They are one and the same, one being.” He would try and keep his answers half simple for her young, but sharp mind.
“Yes. He created all living things, and I’m thankful He did. As a Christian, I spread His teachings and obey His rules which were made many, many years ago and tested over time.”
On to the third, the fourth and the fifth:
“And so long as a being keeps God in their heart, doing what’s right, they are promised a place after death, a new eternal home where there is no pain, no sadness, only happiness, family.” “A man I believe. His son Jesus was, and God created him.” A slight shrug of his shoulders,
“I do not know, for I have never seen Him, I have only been taught and told about Him, but this does not mean he doesn’t exist. He is like the wind. It’s real, but one has never seen it.”
“What about you, dear Esma? I’m open to learn of your’s, if you would like to share.” A smile.
I see Esma having a spiritual crisis one day. :D Or becoming a philosopher, who questions every little thing.
Esma was an introvert, but time from time a subject would engage her so much, that she would forget that she was socially awkward. Or that for the most part she did not consider herself worthy enough to be noticed. And it was really a mystery, why had she turned out this way, because her mother had done her very best and had always be nothing less than welcoming to answer all her questions.
"Son cannot be the same as father. I am me and my mom is her. We are not the same?" Esma tried to find logic in John's statement, but - perhaps - as with all gods, there had to be some magic involved.
"What does he teach?" Esma asked.
"What are the rules?" She figured that - maybe - if this god did not meddle in her thoughts and did not require her to sacrifice her most precious toys and foods, she may consider converting.
"Don't you have happiness, family here?" Esma asked, not understanding, why should he look for it somewhere else, if he had it already here. Again she thought to herself, that if that place John spoke of had all the venison in the world she could eat every day (she had tasted it once and nothing had ever been the same after that), maybe John's god would be a better partner for transactions. But then... there was this deal about giving your whole life to him. And Esma, who did not have much of anything, but herself, was not quite ready to give it up.
"UUhh... Oh..." Esma did not know, what to say.
"One is bear of light. The other is bear of all darkness. They are two beings of a whole. And my mom knows, how to speak to them through gifts - tasty food and plants, and treasures. Then they give us gifts in return," she explained to the best of her ability, but it was very obvious that she did not know much about in detail. She was in that gray area between believing the gods because she had been taught to do so and then as she entered teenager stage, more questions began to pop up.
"But I think they are also like the wind. Bears. I have never seen them. Just heard about them. So, I do not know, how Atka and Sos look either," she added for a good measure.
Aw, but questioning everything is the way of learning. ;) Keep on going Esma.
John had no problem in all her questions, he quite rather enjoyed it. Finally, a child, even another wolf, who did not scorn him, or bite his neck for being himself. He appreciated this girl, her willingness to listen, to ask questions and even share her belief. Despite any differing beliefs, her mother raised a very good child.
“That may be true, but without a mom, a daughter cannot be. Without God, Son could not be. Son was made by Father to be just like father.” He hope his words were not too complicated, but then again, she seemed smart, past her years.
“Well, He teaches us to be kind, love others, respect each other, treat others as we would want to be treated and to give and share. Just to name a few.”
“As for rules, there’s ten of them.” He simply stated, but then a thought popped into his mind: Some of them weren’t exactly tailored to children…. Well, he’d give her a few of them, the important ones.
“A few of the really important ones are to honor your mother and father by listening to them and cherishing them, do not want what others have, do not lie, and never overuse God’s name. Kind of like if I said, Oh my Atka, or Oh my Sos. He doesn’t like that.” A shake of his head, along with a gentle wag of his tail.
One of her next questions, a deep one, something that made him think a little more, his eyes starting to feel teary:
“I do. I have a family, and I’m very happy with my life. But, what I mean is that when we die one day, and as long as our family lived their lives to God’s pleasure, we all get to meet again after death, in one happy place. Everything I tell you was told to me by my family, and they were taught by theirs.”
He then fell silent, listening to her, curiosity on his face.
She explained that Atka and Sos were bears, one of light and one of dark, and much like the wind, and his God, they couldn’t not be seen, only spoken to. She and her family gave offerings to them, and in return received gifts. An interesting proposition.
“Wow. That’s interesting. Thank you sharing about your belief. I suppose we’re not too different from each other.”
More explanations and still some did not make any sense to Esma. Part of her mind wrote it off to her own incompetency - she by no means claimed to know everything about, how the spirit and god world worked (that included also logic). On the other hand that world could not be that much different from the one they lived in. Otherwise, how could they communicate clearly to their subordinates on this Earth? If they were not similar, their voices would be like that of the birds. Beautiful, but nonsensical.
"But, if you do not have a father, how do you cherish him?" Esma asked. Up until now Ash Paw had been her whole world - a father figure had never been part of it and therefore she had never felt a loss. Now, however, she took John's words on respecting your parents and merged with the idea of looking up to Atka and Sos. "What if... others want what you have? And they do not follow your god's rules. Will your god help you then?" she thought about all the toys she had had to give up to the other kids just because she was not assertive enough to tell "no". Having a god as an ally would be useful in that case.
"What happens if your family does not live according to your god? You do not meet them on the other side? Or you being a good subordinate to your god means that he will extend his good will to your other family members," there was still so much to learn.
“Then I suppose you cherish your mother.” Many good questions, and he tried his best to answer them right.
“He may. If others want what is yours, they are not doing what’s right. If you can sort it out peacefully, it’s even better.” “But that doesn’t mean one doesn’t share. I would guess you have siblings? Sharing with one another make’s God very happy.”
Now came the hard question…. And as she asked, he really had to think of how to word this one:
“Well, we don’t really know. In the end, before we make it to the other side, God chooses who may go to the paradise called Heaven. To Him, we are His children, for He created us, and so we must live to make him happy. If your family learns about Him, and comes to love and respect him, they will get a chance, like you, to be together again in Heaven, on the other side.”
“I know this is probably a lot to take in, but no matter what Esma, try to remember this: God always forgives, no matter what mistakes me make. So long as we ask for it, in prayer. You just talk to Him, usually alone, one on one.” “I’ve made mistakes, but I never have to worry, because I have my God as my ally.”
This thread is great, and Esma is great. :)
"But they might have their god telling them that they are allowed to steal," Esma argued.
"So... they are not right accoding to the rule of god I live, but they are right according to the god they follow," she pointed out.
"So... who is right then?"
"Where do those go, who he did not choose?" Esma asked, wondering, what happened to all those dead people that were left behind the Heaven's gates. She did not wish to be left out of anywhere and yet she did not yet believe that there was any other place right for her, if not for the Riverclan. The girl was not yet brave enough to face an uncertain future.
"I think that I do not like your god very much," Esma concluded.
"How can it tell people that you should be good in everything, but isolate them from their families, if they do not believe him?" there was a mismatch between, what was preached and the actions in the reality.
"What is the point of Heaven, if your family is not there to enjoy it with you?" she asked him.
Even though Esma did not have any friends and her relationship with Ash Paw was more based out of necessity and pragmatism than true sincereity, she did not like the idea of her mom being left out in her afterlife.
"But your god does not forgive people not believing in him," she told.
"Is it bad in his eyes to believe something else?"
She surprises me. :D
That got a little long, sorry. Don’t feel the need to match it.
“Our God is right, always.” This was a given, and always would be. This was a simple answer, one that would not require a lot of thinking. Next, he had to explain the opposite side of after death. He took a deep breath, he hoped not to scare the dear child,
“There is a place called Hell. Only those who have done terrible things will go there. It’s like an everlasting fire, and you are alone to….” He couldn’t say it, to burn.
“Be in pain.” “But, even those who have done wrong, if they seek forgiveness, God gives them a second chance, and maybe even a third, because He loves all. He will always forgive us, no matter what.”
Man, this girl was complicated. But she was also young, and easily wavered, as all young are. But he had faith, that everyone was good of heart, and he wanted everyone to live a happy life. And some of her questions he did not fully know. He never died, he never heard from someone passed on about what Heaven, accept for what has been said in story and history.
Another breath,
“I understand how you may feel and how you’re thinking, it’s hard, even for me, and He doesn’t expect us to be perfect in every way. He knows the future, he knows we will make mistakes. His rules and teachings have been told and re-told forever, and through teachers we know this.” He wasn’t sure how much more he could explain, without messing his preaching up.
“Look, I’m going to sum this up: If you were choose to learn more of my God, and believe in Him, He will always be there for you, never abandon you, and if you ask Him, He can even help with you in life, even if you want to share Him with your family. I can’t stress enough how much He loves us.”
“You don’t have to accept it, if you do not want to, but I thank you for listening, for allowing me to do my duty as His follower, His child. And no matter what, after this, you can count me as a friend. I don’t have many.” A playful smile tugging at his lip.
Before long, he would go, and Esma would be up to her own devices once more.
The reiteration that John's god was flawless in its judgement did not sit well with Esma. Maybe it had to do with her age. Had they met, when she had been just a little and shy kid with no self-esteem, she would have eaten up his words as a sole truth and would not have questioned anything. Now, however, she was an adolescent, in that stage, when the figurative umbilical cord between her and her mom was weakening day by day. One of the first signs of that happening was that Esma no longer was convinced that her mom knew everything. And if this was true, then this also implied that she would/could make mistakes also.
"How does the god know that they seek forgiveness for real?" Esma asked, because again the declaration that god loved all his children did not seem right. Contradicting even, though she could not remember now, what facts did not sit well together. "How can he love me, if he does not know anything about me?" she questioned. "And how can I love him, if I do not know him?" it was a valid argument, because she knew, what it meant to love her mom as a physical being. But loving something that you could neither see, nor talk to, nor feel? That did not feel real.
"Is Jesus your brother then? Do you know him personally?" Esma asked, referring to the earlier part of their conversation, when John had mentioned that the god had had a son too. If John was his kid as well, then they had to be siblings.
“Because God knows all. He knows when we mean something. And in the case of doing something wrong, if we ask for forgiveness, and not do what we’d done over again, he will know for sure.”
The questions just kept coming. But, on the other hand, maybe when he was young, growing in faith, he’d asked as many questions. This was also his duty, to share and teach others of God, the Holy Spirit, his Son, so who was he to deny her answers.
“Oh, but he does. You may not know Him, but He knows you. He knows all, and He’s been taught to beings for many years, passed down from generation to generation.” And as for how she could love him, without knowing him? “Now you’ve heard of Him, and his Son. You know more about Him, and if you choose to believe, live by his rules to the best of your ability, there’s a wonderful chapter in your life waiting for you. And as for Jesus, we are all related to Him because God is Jesus’s father, and God created us.”
At last, he shifted his body in the direction of Noctisardor Bypass, a signal that he was getting ready to move on.
“Now I must return home, Esma. I wish you many blessings, and hope that you give God a chance.” A warm smile grew upon his face.
Esma still was not comfortable with the idea of an omnipotent being running the world and knowing everyone and everything. At least Atka and Sos gave her privacy, when it came to her own thoughts. They compared to this spirit were less invested in controlling, what their flock was doing. She was disappointed to see John leave, because she still had so many questions to ask. For example, who had created the god then... what had come before him? But then she also had no idea, where Atka and Sos had come from and she decided to ask Ash Paw as soon as the opportunity would arise. Surely, she would know.
"Goodbye," she told the man and watched him go, regretting that they had not had more time to talk, but it had not occurred to her that she might ask to meet him again to continue their discussions. On the way back to the Riverclan, she went through everything she had learned today and concluded that no matter, how likeable John had been and how highly he had spoken about his father, he had not managed to sell his religion to Esma. He had left her with more questions than answers and the realization that not only the world was much bigger place outside Riverclan's borders, but also the spiritual plane had many more inhabitants than just two hungry bears.