Wolf RPG

Full Version: everything comes down to poo
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Naturalist thread. :) May lead to scouting thread!

Each of the Caldera wolves had jobs - or were working towards one. It gave them a sense of purpose that Grimm currently lacked; after her brief stint as a wandering nomad, the days had a tendency to get a little bit long. There was plenty of food (comparatively speaking), and no need to be on constant lookout for danger; two things that had kept her busy when she wasn't moving forward.

For that reason, she had decided to live up to the grand promises she had made Peregrine, and put her limited knowledge of the natural world to good use. She had no interesting healing the sick, but knew her way well enough around trees and plants to start gathering together a cache of resources.

That morning, she rose early to begin the hunt for birch - willow trees were unlikely to grow in the vicinity, and would require scouting further afield. It was still dark when Grimm began to stalk quietly among the trees, nosing at the tree trunks as she passed them.
He had already tasked a few of his wolves to go look for tomatoes, which would be hard if not impossible to find this time of year. When he spotted Grimm moving through the trees, he recollected that she'd mentioned potions and poisons. Perhaps she might be something of a Naturalist then, so he could employ her help. Besides, he needed to get to know her better, though that might be difficult considering she literally might not be able to stand his company very long.

Figuring his stench preceded him, Peregrine nonetheless barked to announce his presence nearby as he caught up to the Lambda. "I know," he said loudly before she could remark on the smell, "I smell like hot garbage. I won't hang around long. I just wanted to ask you something about it. Do you know anything about toe-ma-toes?" There he was, pronouncing it all weirdly still.
Keeping timeline vague since I'm not sure if Fox will boot Grimm for insulting her!

A familiar voice followed a sharp bark, but there was a short gap between Peregrine announcing himself and the full force of his new cologne smacking Grimm's olfactory senses like a reinforced mallet brandished by a troll. "Oh my god.." she grimaced, taking a big and very obvious step back. Warning of the smell did not make it any less pungent. It wilted her like a stick of cucumber in extreme heat, flattening her ears as though they too were able to detect the waves of skunk odour coming off the Alpha and needed to close up shop until he left.

"Toe-ma-toes?" she echoed, keeping her mouth slightly open so that she might breathe through it. "No.. is it the same as.. dude, go shower. I know I saw some hot spring somewhere up north that you could use to speed up the process, that shit is not going to fade fast." She made an exaggerated 'blaergh' face. "Is that what you need a toe-ma-toots for?"
I had to go look up the thread. I laughed. She'd better not, because the timeline will make no sense... plus, I want to keep Grimm! :P

"Stop," he said, trying to inject patience he didn't feel in his voice when Grimm began poking fun at him and otherwise behaving dramatically. He really couldn't blame her or any of them but it was getting old and his patience with the situation was thinning very much. "Evidently, it's an oil and water won't do a damn thing. Someone told me that toe-ma-toes will somehow magically eliminate the scent. You're a Healer or a Naturalist or whatever, right? Or you hope to become one? Can you help me? If you promise to help me, I'll leave," he added.
Clearly she was not the first to comment on Peregrine's new eau de toilette, and his patience with the taunts was evidently wearing thin. "OK, OK, uhhh.. I don't have any tomatoes, so.." Grimm squeezed her eyes shut as she thought, feeling the scent settle upon her with each passing second. Whatever 'to-mah-toots' were, she had never heard of them - and if they were things that grew out of the ground, they were unlikely to find anything at this time of year.

"ASH!" she exclaimed, sending a burst of energy into her tail. It rustled in the undergrowth. "Ash will do it! But um..." Grimm's expression fell at the realization that ash was not at her disposal. "Has there been a fire lately?" she asked lamely, doing her best to keep any signs of her unwavering disgust from appearing on her face.
"But—" he began to say when she burst out with, "Ash!" Misunderstanding her, he replied, "He's already on it, as are Theseus and possibly others. It's just that they're sort of hard to find in winter; they're a vegetable, after all, and nothing's growing this time of year... but they are looking and I guess I hoped you'd think of joining the effort." Peregrine stopped rambling, paused and echoed, "Fire...?"
Grimm stared at him blankly for a moment before realization dawned. "Oh. No, not Somnia's guy," she clarified, "Ash like what you get when lightning strikes and there's this big moving light - fire. It's hot, and it kinda looks like.. I d'no, a giant flower? You get ash afterwards. It gets rid of smells, so I thought.." she trailed off, sighed, and gave her head a brisk shake. It was unlikely that they would find ash or tomahawk-a-toots. The skunk smell would fade on its own eventually - until then, Fox would just have to put up with her husband's mishap. "I'll help look," she agreed, grinning at him in the darkness. "I still think you should go swim in the springs! The water's kinda hot, and it smells. Not bad, but you know.. maybe it'll mask what's going on."
"I know what fire is," he interrupted her, his expression simultaneously annoyed and amused. "Ash, really? I'd try it but... it hasn't stormed since summer and I can't tell you the last time I saw fire." His lips pursed thoughtfully, though the ash seemed as unlikely and out of reach as tomatoes.

In any event, Grimm said she'd join the effort and he smiled in relief. "Thanks. I know where you're talking about. I've been there before. The last time I went, I ran into some dazed chick who turned out to be a massively loony bitch. I tried to catch her and kill her," he admitted frankly, "but she escaped. I also took..." He paused, then went in a different direction. "I'll have to take Fox there when she's pregnant. It'll help with the soreness and everything when she's further along."

The Alpha's tail twitched and he supposed it was time for him to leave Grimm to some fresh air. "I really wanna spend some time with you, get to know you better, once this smell goes away," he said, giving her the hairy eyeball. "Capeesh?"
"I know what fire is," he interrupted. Grimm's ears went red beneath her dark fur, but she shed her embarrassment quickly. She stared at him whilst he talked. Even with the scent of death hanging around him, Peregrine was a handsome wolf - and so charming. Grimm withheld a scowl when talk turned to Fox, nodding with faked interest at the plight of the Alpha female's tits. What was so great about her, anyway? She was about to spend several weeks being hugely fat and unattractive, and her belly would forever sag.

"Capeesh!" she barked enthusiastically, disappointed to see him go but looking forward to breathable air.
Her enthusiastic response surprised him but elicited a smile. "All right then, I'll vacate the premises now," Peregrine replied. He offered Grimm a wink, unaware of the effect it may have on her, then turned and trotted away to further research ways to rid himself of this dankness.