Pantaleimon had taken her fair time after she had told Reek she would go here to actually go here. Redhawk Caldera... It had taken Pantaleimon some time to reach it, and it showed. Her ribs were ever present, and though Pantaleimon was an excellent hunter, she felt the weight, the pressure, of having to pull off a good hunt. If she were to get wounded, it would be the end of her, out there alone. One day, Pantaleimon had picked up Peregrine's scent and from there on she had followed it to the borders; whether it was actually Peregrine's or one of his followers who smelled alike she did not know, for once at Redhawk Caldera's borders, Pantaleimon realised that everywhere smelled like Peregrine. It made sense, since it was his pack.
After nervously shifting from paw to paw -- Pan had never done this before, after all, living a life of servitude as a Consort of the Sirens' thus far -- Pantaleimon lifted her nose into the air and called for
@Peregrine , after which she lowered her body to the ground, making herself as small as she could. Pantaleimon was a large wolf, like her mother, which caused Pan to only display even more submission than she was already trained to do.
Silently Pantaleimon waited at the borders of Redhawk Caldera during the daytime, hoping that someone would come quick; moreover, hoping Peregrine would come quick, for Pan felt nervous enough standing upon Redhawk Caldera's borders, let alone if anyone but Peregrine were to come, for it was he who had offered her a home... She hoped, anyway, that she had interpreted his words correctly.
This morning, the Alpha entertained the thought of taking one of his pups along with him to the borders while he patrolled—Nightjar, perhaps. Yet as he watched them eat breakfast and then move outside to play, he decided they were still a bit too small for that. The borders could be a dangerous place; he would be exposing his young offspring to the danger and unpredictability of the wilderness beyond the caldera's heart. It could wait.
So he kissed his family goodbye and traipsed alone to the outskirts. He had barely gone six feet before something drew his attention. Peregrine froze, then began galloping quickly toward a pale speck in the distance. As he ran, it took on shape and detail. By the time he drew near, he had recognized Pantaleimon... though as the Alpha came to a stop just a few feet from the familiar male, he saw that he was in bad shape.
Normally, he might have turned away a wolf that looked so poorly, yet all Peregrine could think aloud was, "You left them, didn't you?" There was wild curiosity and even a hint of smug pride in his inquiry as his jade eyes bored holes in the top of Pantaleimon's bowed head.
It did not take long for a dark figure to approach Pantaleimon, and her heart skipped a beat as she focussed her cold metallic eyes on the ground and waited patiently for the wolf to approach. Pantaleimon was glad when a quick upward glance confirmed that it was Peregrine that approached her. Thoughts raced through Pan's mind -- what if she had misinterpreted what Peregrine had said, had mistaken an offer to stay a day or two for something more permanent? Well, it was too late for second guessing herself, now.
Peregrine asked if Pantaleimon had left them -- assumed so, even -- and it was a little painful that the answer was negative. Not exactly... "Th-they left me," Pantaleimon murmured meekly, trying to hide the pain in her voice but failing miserably. Even though Reek seemed to think that this was the doorway to a better life, leaving behind Mother Sea and Mother Moon, in a way, was still painful for Pantaleimon, who had been a Consort all her life and knew no other way to live. Perhaps it was also partially the disappointment, the realisation, that Pantaleimon would really, truthfully, never be a Siren.
He met Pantaleimon's reply with a soft blink. Well, he supposed the details didn't really matter. The other male looked absolutely downtrodden but, in time, he would realize that this departure was for the best. Now he could assume a normal life, where he would be able to realize he had real worth and value beyond sexual servitude.
"What will you do now?" the swarthy Alpha wondered. Venturing a guess that Pantaleimon might have come here for a reason, he continued, "We have space here, though I will tell you that I don't do charity cases. You will have to prove your worth and carry your weight." Peregrine paused, then added, "On that note, you will be able to earn rank and respect here. The more you contribute, the higher you can climb. There are no glass ceilings here."
As Peregrine asked what he would do, Pantaleimon swallowed dryly. While Pan was trying to pick up her courage and ask for a place to stay, Peregrine met her halfway, and though he might not realise, Pantaleimon appreciated the gesture greatly, for she really needed it. Pantaleimon, though meek, did not doubt that she would be able to carry her weight; although socially she had never been too strong, Pan had excelled at many things since she was young, one of them hunting. In a pack, she knew she could provide.
"I can hunt," Pantaleimon said. Although they had tried to teach her to fight, it had never been something she was very good at, although Pan had on occasion warded strangers from the borders. Her large, bulky size was great for fooling violent strangers into thinking she was good in a fight. "I... I'd like to j-join, if..." Pantaleimon trailed off, starting a sentence she didn't know the answer of, and she looked away, at the sand, staying low and close to the ground as to not break the unspoken rules of respect.
Hunt was one of Peregrine's magic words. Sometimes, he liked making potential recruits prove it. But Pantaleimon looked awful right now. Perhaps he would accept him on probationary terms, giving the male time to recuperate and then prove himself, on pain of eviction. As much as he took pity on Pantaleimon, he wouldn't have a problem chasing him away if he proved useless.
"If what?" he asked when Pantaleimon's voice trailed away. "Do you care if I call you Pan, by the way? Or do you have a preferred nickname? Pantaleimon is a bit of a mouthful."
Pantaleimon wasn't used to anyone finishing her sentences. She wasn't actually used to anyone paying that much attention to what she said at all, except to find faults in her words, or to tell her to stop having an opinion or start doing useful Consort things. Most Sirens she'd known, though, they didn't care that much for what Pantaleimon had to say, especially her trailing-off-because-I-forgot-what-I-wanted-to-say sentences.
"Oh! Uhm..." Pantaleimon smiled uncomfortably as she said, "I-if you'll have me..." That was a sentence she could finish, even if it made her feel nervous to do so.
As Peregrine asked if he could call her Pan, Pantaleimon nodded. It's what Reek had called her, and what most did. Pantaleimon quietly reminisced the early death of her own preferred nickname as a child -- Leia -- as she nodded. "Yes, uhm... P-Pan is fine." Pan looked up to meet Peregrine's gaze very briefly, before respectfully averting her gaze again. She hoped that her current appearance would not throw him off; Pantaleimon should've come here straight away when the Sirens had left, but instead she had dawdled around for several weeks, hoping for the Sirens to return, and she had allowed herself to grow afraid of hunting, afraid to get hurt in a hunt, and therefore hungrier by the day.
Peregrine couldn't explain it to anyone, least of all himself, why something inside his stomach simultaneously tightened and caught on fire when Pantaleimon said, "If you'll have me..." and then glanced up at him from beneath hooded eyelids before quickly averting his gaze again. He felt an unfamiliar urge to protect this outcast... and the simmering in the pit of his belly spoke of something else. There was something about Pan that appealed to Peregrine in ways Lasher or Luke never had. Those two were both supremely confident in their respective ways, while Pan was so... vulnerable.
It was this sudden, inexplicable magnetism that prompted the Alpha to say, "I'll have you." Quickly, though, he amended, "We'll have you. But keep in mind what I said: you have to do your part and earn your keep. Start by resting up, feeding yourself and getting to feeling better. You're more useful that way. Make a point to meet your new pack mates, namely Fox, the Alpha female, and Finely and Elwood, the Betas. And as soon as you're feeling up to it, call on me so we can talk about the Gamekeeper trade."
If Pan had been any old recruit, Peregrine might have left him to his own devices then. Instead, he said, "Come on, let's fetch you something to eat. How long has it been? Since you've eaten, I mean?" He motioned for his newest subordinate to follow, then began to lead the way within the pack's borders, to one of their many well-stocked caches.
Pantaleimon waited silently. Even though it was terrifying, she had no choice but to put her fate in the paws of this wolf she had met once. Pan was not entirely sure what it was that had drawn her back here, but it was something; and not just the thought of a roof above her head. If that was what she was going for, perhaps she would have gone with Reek and Wynter, so that she would have at least been able to hunt more safely. It was something else, but not something Pantaleimon could quite place.
When the words came through, when Peregrine said he'd have Pan, Pantaleimon let out a breath of relief; only then did she realise she had been holding her breath all this time.
Peregrine started to throw names at Pantaleimon, and at each name she nodded while she tried to remember - Fox, Alpha Female, Finley and Elwood, Betas. It was all a bit difficult for Pan, for she was used to much different structures of command, but she would cope; she would learn. Pantaleimon idly wondered if Fox was Peregrine's mate; she vaguely remembered he had a family, she thought he had said so anyway, but was not beginning to doubt this since he did not mark any of the wolves he mentioned explicitely as his mate. Pan kept quiet about it, deciding time would teach her. She just nodded each time something was asked of her and each time a name was mentioned. The Gamekeeper trade -- that sounded like something Pantaleimon could do.
As Peregrine said they would get something to eat and motioned to follow, Pantaleimon swiftly followed. She kept her body low, feeling awkward and not sure how to behave, but decided to try and behave as she would have around Spyridon, another male who had been above her in rank, sort of like an Alpha male, but yet different in so many ways. "Uhm," Pan said with a raspy voice while she tried to remember, "A couple of d-days." Pantaleimon had hunted with another wolf a week or maybe a bit longer ago, and that's when her fear had begun to grow because she had been kicked by a deer, even if it hadn't been a mortal injury. But it had made her fear for such. After that day, she had returned to the carcass to eat the remains and she'd caught a rabbit since then, but not much more than that.
A few days wouldn't kill an otherwise healthy individual, though Peregrine knew Pan must be pretty ravenous by now. He bobbed his head, lapsing into silence for a few steps before flicking an ear and demanding (albeit amiably), "So... tell me about yourself, Pan. Were you born into the clan of sea witches?" He couldn't imagine any wolf in his right mind would choose that lifestyle, so it only made sense that Pantaleimon had been born and raised in the culture. "What are your interests, aside from hunting? I'm not talking about just skills, either, but your passions and hobbies."
As the word hobbies left his lips, the Master Gamekeeper arrived at the foot of the caldera. Among the rocks were hidden many small stashes. He dipped into one now, pulling loose a stiff squirrel carcass. He spun, dropping it a bit unceremoniously at Pan's feet. When he lifted his head, his dark snout brushed the subordinate's shoulder. Even Peregrine himself couldn't have said whether or not it was an accident, though he felt a slight rush of heat. He withdrew, wondering at the effect this strange individual was having upon him.
While he silently awaited Pan's answers, he also mused about it. It occurred to him rather suddenly that there was something effeminate about his newest recruit. Perhaps that was what was striking him? He couldn't help continuing to compare Pan to his former and current interests, who were both quite masculine. Really, Pan couldn't have been more different from Lasher or Luke. But, then, did Peregrine have a type, when it came to men or women? Looking back over his handful of lovers, they were quite varied, though they all shared one thing in common: a certain fire, a burning self-confidence.
Where did Pan fit into that? He was docile and pliant, like a cold splash of water in contrast, a simile which caused Peregrine's lips to twitch. That was fitting, considering his origins.
Pantaleimon visible flinched a little when Peregrine mentioned the word 'witches'; Pantaleimon still thought herself a Siren, albeit one born into the wrong body so that she could never stand beside them, proud and strong, as she should. To have them called a word so disrespectful pained her, although she did not speak against her new Alpha. "I... Yes, I - I was, in a p-place far away, uhm... Sirensong Cove." Pantaleimon did not miss her home, for it was better ot be where she was now, she supposed... But her heart still ached for Mother Sea and Mother Moon, for the glorious position she could have had. For years she had held onto this thought, but as she stood here, she now realised she would never have the position she so coveted, not even had she devoted a whole lifetime to Mother Sea and Mother Moon.
The words passion and hobbies were strange to Pantaleimon, for she had devoted her entire life to the Goddesses and to the Sirens. Pan took the time to think while she hungrily tore into the squirrel that was dropped at her feet. It felt good to eat again; it had been a while.
After chewing a couple of bites, Pantaleimon said, "Uhm... I - I suppose I like, uhm... pretty t-things." Pantaleimon sounded as awkward as she felt -- what wolf liked 'pretty things'? But it was true; Pantaleimon liked to collect seashells and seaweed to drape herself in, even if she could not any longer, now that she lived here. But maybe there would be similar things, or she could simply keep a cache of beautiful items of the forests, of the plains, and those she dragged all the way here from the ocean. She was, after all, allowed to have pretty things now.
"And uhm, pups, I... I always liked to t-teach the pups." Pan had not gotten to do that much in Sirensong Cove or other places; only what few male pups they had she had helped raise, and they were often traded with other packs or they would leave, or get taken by other packs, so it was never long or bonding. Maybe Redhawk Caldera would bring opportunities.
The name meant nothing to Peregrine, so he didn't reply. He hoped Pantaleimon would share a bit more, yet he stopped there. Well, the Alpha would have plenty of time to get to know Pan's history if he so desired. For now, he didn't press the matter, especially because his brand new pack mate was tucking into his meal. It wouldn't make sense to make Pan talk too much while he was trying to stuff his face.
He snorted aloud at Pan's unexpected and honest remark. "Pretty things, huh? Well, that's the first time I've gotten that answer," Peregrine said in an amused tone of voice. "I suppose most of us do, though—like pretty things, I mean. There are many of those around here, from the members to the scenery," he quipped. He wondered if Pan was interested in pretty women in particular, though the androgyny suddenly made him wonder if Pan was into women at all.
Now that news that Pantaleimon was interested in teaching pups definitely struck favor with the dark Alpha. "Oh? What do you like to teach them?" The Firebirds had plenty of caretakers, though no official Caretaker in the wake of Somnia's absence. They were already aging beyond the need for something like that, though they still needed a lot of education and guidance. Peregrine would be happy for another teacher in the mix, though he wanted to be sure Pan would focus on things like hunting, guarding and the like, and not try to teach the sea witches' religions to the impressionable pups.
Pantaleimon felt awkward when Peregrine shared his honesty. Pan had known plenty of wolves who were into collecting pretty things, but they had usually been Sirens; more signs that things worked differently for other packs and other wolves. Peregrine kept things light-hearted though, mentioning there was pretty scenery as well as wolves (that's what Pan assumed the Alpha meant by members, at least). Pan, who was just swallowing a piece of squirrel meat, nearly choked on her food when Peregrine mentioned the pretty members, mostly because she had not expected the comment and felt embarrassed, but also because she was not used to talking so openly about favouring others; the Sirens took what they wanted rather than talking of fancy and love -- or tried to, at least...
"S-sorry," Pan awkwardly muttered when she finished coughing and the pieces of squirrel were no longer stuck in her throat. There were a million things to say, explanations to give, but instead of doing so, Pan decided to over-eagerly dig into the squirrel meat to avoid having to explain herself and looking like a weirdo prude who knew nothing of how normal wolves acted. Especially not in front of her new Alpha.
When Peregrine enthusiastically asked about what Pantaleimon would teach pups, Pan was caught off-guard again, although she did not show it as vividly this time. After all, taking care of pups was a hobby of Pan's, and not particularly a skill, per say. "Oh, uhm... I've t-taken some to hunt, uhm, sometimes, and I guess I..." Pantaleimon's ear twitched while she considered how to explain, "... Like b-being with them and just uhm, t-talking and playing? They're so..." Pantaleimon trailed off there, though there was a soft expression on her face; Pan loved to spend time with puppies because they were so unmoulded and honest. She supposed they reminded her of a time when she was still a brash and brave little Siren trying to prove the world that she was not a Consort.
Pan seemed a bit thrown by the question, yet he answered promptly all the same, mentioning hunting but emphasizing that he just liked their company in general. Peregrine could find no fault with this. The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. Pan was a nervous, soft-spoken creature who would be a gentle influence in the pups' lives if the Alpha allowed it. So far, Peregrine saw no reason to bar the newest recruit from his litter, though he did want to make a few points first.
"There are three pups here: Nightjar, Wildfire and Raven. You're welcome to come meet them and get to know them. First, you'll want to introduce yourself to Fox, their mother. I'm sure in time you could become one of their sitters. Just... do me a favor?" Before just plunging ahead and describing it, he waited a moment to be sure of Pan's attention before continuing, "Please keep religion out of it, at least for now. That's a conversation I'd like to save for when they're older. Not just your religion, all religion."
Pantaleimon was excited to hear that there were actually pups in Redhawk Caldera. Pan mentally noted their names - Nightjar, Wildfire, and Raven - and nodded as Peregrine spoke, a soft, excited expression on her face. Pan also noted the name of the mother - Fox - and understood it would be wise to meet her first. No mother liked to find strangers with her pups, after all.
As Peregrine asked Pantaleimon to keep religion out of the matter, she nodded quickly in understanding. It had not even occurred to Pantaleimon that she might tell the pups of the Nereides but, thinking of it, it would have been logical that she would because it was such a large part of Pan's world. Now, Pan could keep it in mind and keep it out of the equation. "Of course," Pantaleimon said with a nod. "I'll make sure to see, uhm, meet Fox soon. Is she..." Pantaleimon paused briefly before continuing, "Are they, uhm, yours?" Fox was the Alpha Female, after all, and Peregrine the Alpha Male. However, Pan was not sure if that was how it worked in conventional packs all the time; if a pair of wolves leading meant a pair of wolves were partners in love, too.
Unaware that he'd worded it all very strangely, Peregrine burst out with a laugh at Pan's question. "Yes, sorry, Fox is my mate and the Alpha female. NJ, Wifi and Raven are our children together," he clarified, waving his tail as he often did when speaking of his family. "We actually founded this pack for them. They're our first litter together and the caldera's first—and currently only—litter," he added to provide Pantaleimon with some context.
Pan was making quick work of the squirrel, the Alpha noticed, and he said, "Feel free to take more food if you need it. I need to head back to the borders to finish my patrol. Like I mentioned, focus on getting yourself in better shape, introducing yourself and getting familiar with the territory. I'm sure I'll see you around, Pan." Peregrine dipped his head to the pale newcomer, then turned to resume his rounds.
Peregrine light-hearted smoothed over Pantaleimon's awkwardness, which made Pan sigh a breath of relief. Pantaleimon was not certain if she was disappointed or elated that Peregrine was a wolf with mate and pups, and she did not fully understand why. At the moment, however, she could not distinguish many of her feelings for they were all overshadowed by the knot in her stomach from being in the presence of her new Alpha; that's what she figured the knot was from, anyway.
"Oh, ah, okay," Pantaleimon said with a swift nod. Then Peregrine offered she could take more food and mentioned he'd go to the borders. Pantaleimon nodded again. "Uh, thanks," Pan said, and only after Peregrine had disappeared from view did Pantaleimon realise that she probably should have said something along the lines of 'bye' or 'see you around', because 'uh, thanks' was hardly a substitute for 'bye'.
Mentally kicking herself, Pantaleimon finished the squirrel carcass before setting off to groom herself and get herself in better shape, drink some, and maybe hunt something to replace what she had taken, if she would manage. Pan wasn't sure what would be in store for her, but at least she had a home now. Pan wondered idly if Reek would visit any time soon -- or at all -- or if it was the last she had ever seen of him, but she soon put the thoughts from her mind, for it was time for focus on the future rather than the past. On Redhawk Caldera.