Wolf RPG

Dante had intended to keep to himself for a while, but he knew this was not the way to handle it.  Sensibly, he had a role to fulfill, and taking time for himself to get his shit together could throw the plateau more out of balance than it already was.  Koda and Kesuk were both gone, but aside from that, he knew nothing of what had transpired these past few days.  After Harlyn had helped him he'd returned to his den, unwilling to approach any for company as he wished to be alone with his thoughts.

He couldn't be, though.  And he knew it.

Limping heavily, he emerged from the dark quiet of the cavern, his expression and manner subdued.  Gathering himself, he set out to the place he knew he had to go first... Blue Willow and Lasher's new residence.  The light was fading, but still he went, hoping that they would still be up despite having pups who'd surely be sleeping.  They needed to know what had transpired, he likely (much as he did not want to) needed to know some as well, and perhaps they could help him in taking the next step.

Because he had no idea how to proceed from this point.

dante's appearance at the rendezvous site heartened lasher's dampened spirits, though concern besieged his face at the sight of dante's torn visage. shaking free of the pups, who clambered around him (though eilidh lay quietly between his forelegs), the beta went to greet his leader, whining lowly in his throat. the scent of koda still lay upon the silver withers, and his hackles rose. 


taltos did not think of what had transpired, nor the attitude between the pair of them. he acted swiftly and without forethought; moving closer to sidle along dante, he reached out and began to carefully clean the dried blood and grit from the edges of the alpha's wound. he did not speak, for soon willow would arrive, and would mend dante, but lent instead his silent support and the cleansing nature of his gestures to the alpha's obvious discomfort. 

It took Lasher only a moment to discern Dante's status, and as he approached, Dante wasn't quite sure what to expect.  Of course Lasher did not press him, instead wordlessly setting in to cleaning his side.  He winced at the initial sensation, but nosed the Beta's own side in wordless thanks.  Harlyn had done a good job in the initial caring for the torn skin, but it was a difficult place for him to reach himself.

Unsure if Blue Willow was available, and knowing that surely Lasher would inform her of his words, he chose to begin now rather than wait.  "I confronted Koda about his issues with Saena, and how he spoke with Blue Willow.  He refused to acknowledge that his actions were wrong... so I bid him to leave.  He would not."  There he stopped, unsure of how to put the encounter into words. And what of his own state of mind he wished to reveal at this time.  Instead he looked for Lasher's reaction to this news, and the news that Koda was now no longer of the Plateau.  Would he be upset that the Alpha had not spoken with Blue and he of his intentions?  It had been a spur of the moment decision, and he wondered now if perhaps he shouldn't have.

he knew it had been koda, but to know that the other wolf had bested the silver alpha perturbed him. yet the feeling was fleeting; it departed as soon as it had occurred, and he nodded. "he was unwelcome to me the moment he spoke so sorely to saena," came the beta's soft reply. 

he would support dante in the role that he chose, but concern for the other's mental state swam to the fore. "how do you feel about what has transpired?" lasher inquired vaguely, eyes trained upon the gunmetal wolf.

He was glad that Lasher showed no anger at not being consulted, for although he was the Alpha, he never wished to go over the heads of any of the wolves of the Plateau in his dealings.  He would have thought the Beta right in his irritation, had he shown it, but apparently Lasher was in agreement with what had transpired.  Just... likely not the result.

"Not great," he responded, a wry edge to the tone.  He knew what was meant in the query, but not that he wished to talk it through at length yet.  His own thoughts were still reeling, and he needed to gather himself before he could properly approach it with another.  Still, Lasher was a friend and fellow confidant.  If he could trust anyone to give wisdom, it was he.  So instead of leaving it at that, as he might have were it anyone else, he continued.

"I've failed in my duty to defend myself and the pack.  And I don't feel as though pretending that isn't true is right, even if Koda did leave regardless."  He looked at Lasher, wondering if he was in agreement.

taltos understood that dante struggled within himself over what had happened, for it exemplified his weakness and offended his masculinity. thus, when the gunmetal wolf glanced upon him, lasher met his eyes with a level gaze. "perhaps, dante. but would you step down, when so many of us are prepared to follow you unto the end? and where would you go?" 

for, while he had not wanted to be alpha, and had only been thrust into the role by peregrine's abandonment of the pack, he had done well by them. no catastrophe had befallen the blacktail wolves. and so lasher did not see dante as he saw himself; did not see him as a failure, nor as a weak creature. 

he was silent then, but his words held fast the space between them.

"I won't make any decisions now. And you will know. I would never keep you and Blue in the dark on something like that."  Too much had happened, and even if he felt it best, he would not so thoroughly throw them into chaos.  But to his mind at this moment, if he could not uphold his rank, then he had no right to wield it. He would talk to Lasher again, if the time came that he chose to follow through.

"Blue Willow called to you, before... did something happen?" He had heard and assumed, but it could as easily be nothing. He hoped the latter, though it was so rarely the case. Lasher might have thought he had done a good job since rising, but to him it sometimes felt as though nothing but turmoil had followed his ascension. An overdramatic view that came only in times such as these, when his insecurities were laid bare.

lolol i dont know what dante is talking about D:

he was not sure of what the grey alpha spoke, and cocked his head to one side briefly. "for what do you mean?" the beta inquired rather sheepishly. blue willow had called for him a hundred times a hundred; he did not know the specifics of dante's question. 

feeling as though he had rather failed his friend, the ecru beta moved somewhat closer, tail thumping roughly against the ground as he sought to preserve himself in the other's eyes. he did not know why it was that he wished to save face, only that he did; in light of dante's shame, perhaps the alpha would lash out to assuage his own feelings upon the matter.

Dante flicked an ear, surprised and honestly relieved.  He had assumed that something had happened, but there hardly seemed concern in the Beta's statement. "I thought... but never mind."  He shook his head, smiling.  "The days have been long for me, I apologize."  He had not slept well since his battle with Koda, both due to unease and the impossibility of finding a comfortable position to lie in.  

He hoped to disarm Lasher's own anxiousness on the matter, for he was well past the point of allowing his aggression to flow out upon others.  Instead it focused within, with a laser precision that cut and burned without discrimination.  They were scars that had been opened many times, but that he had thought closed for good.  It seems fate would have him tested once more, perhaps for his arrogance in settling so comfortably into life here.

though perturbed at what he did not recall, lasher gave an encouraging nudge to dante's shoulder. "do not apologize for what you cannot control, my friend," he murmured. "we are here to support you in this time." he did not know what blue willow would make of what had transpired, once she had buzzed about the alpha like a gentle bee, and patched his wounds with her impeccable skills at healing.

"do you hurt badly?" the beta asked softly, shifting somewhat closer to his friend with worry flickering in his eyes.

Lasher was kind, far kinder than he felt he deserved, though he wasn't sure why he felt that way.  He wasn't sure if anything he felt right now, and the effort of sorting through this was enough to make him shirk the act for the foreseeable future.  Usually so introspective, it was rare that he avoid his own thoughts, and it lent a sort of melancholy isolation.  

The physical he could remark on, for it was impossible to hide anyway.  He had had worse, but he had been better too. "Some.  Not enough to seek relief, but enough to make me wish for it at times."  His lips twitched in a small smile. He was alright when it came to dealing with pain, a childhood of ferocious fights ensuring he knew what a good wound felt like.  But his mind could be weak as any other, and it lamented the pain as any would.  Sometimes he grew angry when he could not get comfortable in the night, and a part of him would be tempted to find Blue or Harlyn for relief.  Yet he always quashed it, his distaste for what he saw as unnecessary medicinal consumption outweighing the irritation.

He accepted Lasher's proximity without comment, but shifted himself as well, so his haunch met Lasher's own.  Also a rarity, that he should seek the comfort of physical contact, but the part of him that sought the warmth of companionship it would bring won out over reason.  He silenced the voice that wondered if this was best, if Lasher still felt as he had previously. That guilt, as with the rest, could await another day.

lasher nodded. "blue willow would be happy to tend you. there is no need to suffer," he murmured, but let it at that. likewise, his mind was wary of how dante had not reciprocated his affections, and what role that played in his decision to offer physical comfort to the leader, but decided that it comforted the alpha in some way. and so he remained. "my children grow larger every day. i had entertained the naive notion that perhaps they would be small for some time, but i see that is not the case."

he knew dante was fond of the pups, and so it was an easy subject to ponder for the man. he was quiet for a moment, and then smiled warmly at his companion. "perhaps you will have the same one day. you are too kind to be alone, my friend."

He let his words go at that as well, but engaged in the next statement, a wide grin finally reaching him at the mention of his children. He had held dealings with them, and delighted in their company greatly. "They are wonderful, and becoming rather amazing individuals." He thumped his tail lightly. "I'm sure it goes without saying, but you have reason to be proud."

His instinct when Lasher mentioned children of his own was to shake his head, but Lasher was not wrong. He held a great deal of affection for young ones, though when he saw his own future, pups were not within it. Not because he did not want them, but because the idea was far-fetched at best. "Perhaps," he said, though his tone held skepticism. He had become so accustomed to life alone that it was hard to imagine one any other way. For the forseeable future, just to have good friends and a beautiful home was more than enough.

he thanked dante with a low dip of his muzzle, but was surprised that the silver-eyed male did not share his interest in the future. the alpha seemed resistant indeed to the very idea of progressing with his life, taking a mate, and furthering his lineage. neither of them were growing younger as the days wore on, and yet it seemed dante was content to let the sands of his life run from the time-hourglass.

yet he did not press this, but fell silent, lending his quietude and support to dante's thought processes.

Dante was quiet as well, contemplative now.  Over the next few days he would go through a transformation of sorts, once this conversation and his words with Osprey settled upon him and sunk into his heavy thoughts.  This would center upon his leadership, however, not the latter discussion.  In this he would remain unsure of anything except for, well, his own indecision.  It was quite possible the right moment would never appear to change the status of his personal life, and even more likely that if it did, he would have neither courage nor confidence to take it.  It was a rut he was content to remain in, and so long as he was content, there was no hope of rising out.

It was likely that someday, however far in the future, he may look back and regret the ignorance that made him leave things as they were.  But for now, he had no thoughts towards such things, and his mind had never dwelt on them cept for perhaps the odd fancy.