Wolf RPG

Since Nochtli's cold shoulder treatment when they had found the pool, the abrupt change in mood in — having left Tezcacoatl with the feeling that he had spoken the wrong thing to her, or had offended or upset her but even now, days (weeks?) later he could not draw any sort of conclusion between the things he'd spoken to her of and her sudden shift in behavior towards him. The answer still eluded him and he still found himself irritated at her for not bothering to explain why she reacted that way, or what he'd done wrong. No, she simply walked off —well swam off was more accurate — as if he was supposed to know. The serpent king had given the ebony amazon plenty of time to cool off and now he sought to excavate it. If she would not explain to him what he did wrong then he could never amend what he'd did, could never learn from it and furthermore couldn't fix it. Perhaps she simply enjoyed having a reason to be angry at him, to prove that he was a shit leader. Perhaps she was as determined to sabotage him as her sisters were; though he did not know if this assumption held truth to it or not. 

The morning held a cool edge to it as he paced the lands, half attempting to just howl for her but he resisted. He did not want to draw attention to it, and if he called there was always the chance that she could simply ignore his summons. The latter struck him as a likely possibility and so Tezcacoatl decided, instead, to follow her trail, where ever it took him. If they were standing face to face it would be harder for her to ignore him if she desired to do such a thing, and easier for him to demand some sort of explanation from her.

The sun was warm, on the edge of too warm, but actually just enough to keep her comfortable. She was sunbathing today and was enjoying it, though the idea of wandering down to the marsh danced on the edges of her mind. It was not warm enough to make her want to move though, since the taiga's air still held a bit of chill to it. Her thoughts had been blissfully quiet this morning, waking up when Citali had left to tend to her garden. Maybe the inky Amazon would go help her sister watch them grow, even if that did sound boring. The mocha wolf's company was enjoyable enough to allay that particular kind of boredom.

Bright eyes half-closed, Nochtli lay there, soaking up the sunbeams, unaware that the newly crowned King was so near by. It could have been any wolf and being that the sounds came from behind her, she did not rise to her feet but simply laid there, legs ending in white toes stretched out lazily, comfortably.

It had not taken Tezcacoatl long to find the adviser, her trail fresh and her body sprawled out lazily, appearing to soak up the morning sun's rays as it shown down upon the Ridge, glittering off he massive Glacier in the far off distance — visible as it was from Frostfire. She did not startle at his approach, which Tezcacoatl did not necessarily take to be a good nor bad sign. At the very least, she was aware that it was he from his scent and the heavier footfalls accompanying his large build. “Nochli,” He addressed her, not currently caring if he interrupted her peaceful time. He wanted some kind of answer for her tendencies, and to perhaps play the bit of counselor himself: after all keeping things bottled up wasn't healthy. Tezcacoatl knew from experience that it could lead to regret, and on the opposite side of that spectrum it often left the metaphorical wound fester. “If I've said things that have upset you, I'm sorry,” He began taking a deep breath and exhaling. “but you can't keep walking away from me when I do. You can tell me what I said wrong, you know.” In all actuality, he preferred it, but that was something to add in at a later time, if she even bothered to pay him any mind, that was.

Unfortunately for her, the one that approach was downwind, so their identity was a half-mystery. Half, because if she'd lift her head and look, she'd know who it was. As it turned out, the King was not one to beat around the bush, speaking her name and at the same time, letting her know who had found her. Not that she wanted his company, but whatever.

It wasn't until after he'd started his spiel that the girl visibly paid him attention, lifting her head up off the ground to look at him, her front half twisting so that she was laying rather like a lion. His apology was heard, acknowledged with the simple flick of an ear, though the line of her mouth drew rather straight when he told her she couldn't walk away. A lifted eyebrow the response to his offered moment of critique, considering it.

"Okay," She replied, and nothing more. There was no used to speaking her mind and telling him the error of his ways. Nochtli knew how little good talking to a figurative brick wall would bring her and she wasn't going to waste the effort. He already had it set in his broken little head that all Amazons were the same and though she could attempt to tell him differently, few took such truths easily when it only meant that they were wrong.

Nochtli's response was simple, and at the same time highly frustrating to the serpent king. It had became rapidly apparent that the ebony woman had no actual deigns to tell him what he'd said wrong, or why she became so offended every time he opened his mouth (lest this is what it felt like to Tezcacoal). They might have thought of him as a brick wall, but he saw them as much the same. “Nochtli,” Tezcacoatl repeated her name, his tone holding his impatience though the verbal confirmation was not needed. His posture was tense, his tail flicking behind him, irritated. He did not often lose his patience but it was currently being tested. It was bad enough having to watch his back to make sure Xiuhcoatl wasn't sneaking upon him with the intentions of severing his spine from his body, and now he had to worry about the one Amazon he had begun to trust the easiest? It had been too easy and perhaps he had allowed her natural charisma to blind him. Knowing who he could and could not trust was a hard line to walk for any leader, but harder for him as he struggled to place the forgotten past with the present. Tuwawi was the only one he could trust, he supposed, for he counted upon the Wildfire to not betray him by stabbing him in the back. That was something, at least.

“I can't read your mind,” Tezcacoatl informed her, a bit petulantly as he moved so that he was staring at her face, with the simple intention of commanding her attention. He had no qualms of reminding her who was in charge here and though he might not have followed her traditions — unknowingly the ironic source of her irritation with him — he was her superior. Quetzalcoatl might have been more understanding, but he wasn't his mother and he'd been patient enough. He wanted some sort of explanation. “What did I say that irritated you enough to turn your back to me? Was it Tuwawi?” For a second, a rare consideration flitted into his mind: that she might have been jealous of Tuwawi, of what the wildfire meant to Tezcacoatl, but the idea seemed so preposterous to him that he almost laughed at it. Luckily, he held it back for he wasn't truly in a laughing mood. “Tell me so that I can fix whatever it was.” Assuming that it was fixable, that is.

The repetition of her name did not gain him any more attention from her. She was already looking, already listening. What more did he want? For her to frolic and shit rainbows and sunshine when she was miserable? Yeah, like that was going to happen. That he was irritated with her response only caused the same emotion in her, fiery eyes narrowing as her ears lay back against her skull for a moment. Though the Amazon could be quite child like, she could be the embodiment of her own name. He just didn't know what he was getting into. Even his memories, had they returned, wouldn't help. She could be a right spitfire when the opportunity came.

She stood, her muzzle crinkling with the anger in her eyes. "Yes, it's Tuwawi. Of course it's Tuwawi." Only a heartbeat spanned before she spoke again. "Are you that much of a fucking idiot?" Oh, she knew who she was talking to and it was about damn time he got this tongue lashing. "You just waltz over here expecting a conversation to fix the shit you've done? How about you turn back time and go back to when you abandoned us, you asshole. Yeah, go right ahead." Her breath came faster, anger alighting her features in a way rarely seen.

And yet she didn't give him a chance to speak. He wanted this. He was gonna get it. "You think were all cold, heartless bitches right? Because we got saddled with you on this stupid mission and you freaking walked off for whatever stupid reason and then you have the audacity to just assume that we're upset over some stupid silly shit. How about the fact that I lose my life if I go home to your mother without you? How about the fact that I don't fit in back in the Rise already and even if she's merciful and doesn't kill me, I will be even more of an outcast, because of how I don't agree with the inequality that they all flaunt and uphold, and I failed the mission I was given? HOW ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU'RE JUST BEING AN ASSHOLE WHO ONLY THINKS ABOUT HIMSELF?!" Which was proven by the fact that he'd thought she was upset about their conversation over his feelings for the reddened female that had joined his ranks.

Her voice echoed, her chest rising and falling as she glared at him. There was no thought to how he'd receive her words but they'd been laid out there all the same. Her brand of anger was a seething, volatile one and yet he'd wanted to open this particular can of worms. He'd literally asked for it. Literally!

Tezcacoatl watched as Nochtli stood, though he made no moves to ...move. Instead, he stood there, bearing down at her like the immovable mountain (of stubbornness) that he'd probably been portrayed as. “Again you're angry at me for making general assumptions based off the information that you refuse to give me, and yet that makes me the idiot.” It was almost too much. It was like the tea pot calling the kettle black. He felt like a scapegoat, and in a bitter irony he supposed that for them that was all he was good for: being their scapegoat. It was all his fault, this further proved by her following words. It was his fault that he left them (maybe, it wasn't like he could remember why he'd left them behind). “How do you even know I abandoned you? Maybe I went out to hunt and something happened! Why is automatically 'oh you abandoned us'? I don't remember what kind of wolf I was back then but if my loyalty is anything to go by now I have proof that I wouldn't have just abandoned you.” He didn't abandon Tuwawi: he lingered in the hopes that she would return and happened to get lucky that she did. Hell, he couldn't even abandon Duskfire Glacier; it was why he claimed the Ridge, because the territories interlinked. He could see the Glacier at all times and it gave him a sense of home, of belonging.

Tezcacoatl listened as Nochtli barreled on, tanking through what she'd obviously been holding back for a long time. He did not listen gracefully, but he listened. She seemed to return to blaming him (the theme he gathered was that everything was his fault, and idly he couldn't help but wonder if he was a woman if everything would have been different); but his ears, previously slicked back perked when she continued on to say about how she didn't believe in the gender inequality that the Amazon's had literally built their pack and traditions on. It was their way of life, and he understood that while he was some of it, he was not all of what was wrong with her. “Because it was how I was raised, Nochtli. I held the title of Prince but I was still looked down upon, perceived as a threat. I remember Quetzalcoatl and her mother nearly fighting because the Old Queen wanted to kill me.” It was a fuzzy memory, and Tezcacoatl had been very young, but he remembered it if only because he'd been afraid. Afraid of his “grandmother” and afraid of his mother, at least for a while. "I remember feeling inferior just as the Gladiators did, why do you think I don't want to return? Where I will never be seen as the King I was born to be?" There were other reasons too, of course, but that was one of the important ones.

“You know how I was raised, how I was taught to think, Nochtli. I didn't know that you...or any other Amazon that might share the sentiments felt that way about the superior, inferior gender hierarchy. We men are good for sport, entertainment, and making strong daughters and that was how it was.” It was hard not to make the generalization, and knowing what he did not (which would have been helpful to know a while ago) he did feel like a jerk. “I never meant to offend you. I know only what I remember, and I'm glad that you are different from them, and there's no shame in that. Not here in Frostfire Ridge.” He was harbinger of the new era for the Amazon's, after all. Quetzalcoatl had set things in motion with her defiance and love for him that simply...couldn't be undone, and those that could not learn to accept the change would die with the fading culture. Perhaps it would live on in the Rise, but in the Ridge he would take it in the direction he'd always been meant to: where each gender is valued the same, and all were strong. “And I'm sorry for assuming it was about Tuwawi, I ...you didn't leave me with much else to think.” He hadn't meant to be selfish. Simply, he was clueless to the inner workings of the complex female mind because it eluded him, he who thought of simple motives and went with primeval instincts alone.

She scowled at him. Of course it made him the idiot, if only because he was only paying attention to the things that concerned him. But then he struck back with his words, interrupting her for what would not be the last time during this conversation. Her stare was one of incredulity. "Are you serious right now? How do I know? I was there, for one. And for two, you don't even remember! It's 'oh, you abandoned us' because golly gee, you abandoned us. What the hell, Tezcacoatl? I'm not gonna sit here and make stuff up!" Another mark to his ability to rule, accusing her of being completely wrong when her memory was running at one hundred percent. He didn't want to think he'd abandoned them because what kind of ruler would that make him now?

She didn't need him to tell him how he had lived. She'd been there and had seen how every male had been treated and that was exactly what she hadn't liked. "Every fuck up there gets looked down upon almost as, if not just as much, Tezcacoatl, and you and I both know it. If I returned home now, without you, I would never be seen as useful again and would be little better than a slave. But you couldn't even agree to just come back to tell her you've found your place so that we do not lose ours." She wasn't sure how else to put this to him. Sure, he'd offered them a place here, or the chance to return home, but she might as well throw herself off a cliff in either situation for all the good both choices would do. 

Ignoring the comment about Tuwawi, the diplomat spoke on, not in the mood to deal with much more shit right now. "You say you're some great King, well then you need to start acting like it instead of parading around like a brat. Those in power should never lump their followers under the same beliefs or ideals because you will almost always get bit for it. I do not appreciate basically being called heartless because you assumed that I was like most of my sisters. I respect either gender if they've earned it." Her words were snapped in a defensive manner and he could be sure that if he did it again, the spitfire warrior would make sure he'd remember every time he looked down at his muzzle. 

Tail lashing behind her, she glared at the so-called King and almost dared him to rebuke her claims. 

Though the desire to tell her that the memory might be manipulated by her solid belief that he'd actually abandoned them (he, however, was quite skeptical) that she was twisting it to fit her belief, though through some small (or perhaps large) miracle the serpent king stilled his tongue. Arguing with her would do no good. It had taken a small and unfortunate measure of time for him to realize that but now that he understood it, he hoped that it might make his life a little bit more smoother. “I didn't say you made anything up,” He interjected softly, giving his head a shake. “I only said that it's hard for me to believe given how loyal I was and still am, to Tuwawi. To Duskfire Glacier.” His absolute refusal to leave the Wilds was evidence enough that he didn't just “abandon”. This stubborn thought kept rooted inside Tezcacoatl's skull, refusing to budge even when she rebuked him with her memories, even when she told him he just abandoned them. Manauia hadn't said that he'd abandoned them, though she hadn't been overly detailed in the rare times in which he'd inquired. “Do you really think that is the kind of heart that Quetzalcoalt has?” He frowned, raising his brow at her. Indeed, Tezcacoatl had a very hard time picturing the mother that had literally risked everything to give him a position better than slave in a supremacist pack would truly dispel those who took the brunt of another's mistake. “I know I do not remember her, but if she fought so hard for me, when I am nothing to the Amazon women — or supposed to be nothing,” He corrected himself, in case she take offense to that, too. “I can't fathom that she would let all of you take the brunt of the consequences around my choice.”

But, what did he know? Nothing.

“Go back? I tried before I returned to these Wilds and I couldn't do it. I may not remember her but I couldn't waltz up to her, look her in the eyes and tell her that not only did I no longer remember her, or the love I must have felt for her at one point, but that I was never going to return.” Somethings were better left untouched, and it wasn't as if what he had to tell her would give Quetzalcoatl any closure. It was better this way. Better that she just ...forgot about him. His life had not worked out how it had been planned for him, in any scenario, but it was working out for him in the unexpected ways; and there was no way to change the past even if he'd have wanted to. The only thing they could do was put their demons to rest and turn their eyes to the horizon and what the future held in store for them.

A low snarl left the serpent king's lips, parted and lifted to reveal his sharp canines at her words, a warning. Nochtli's words were sharp, painting him as he'd feared he'd be: a terrible leader. Whether they (or she) thought he was ill fit to lead or not didn't matter. He still wasn't leaving. “I never presumed myself to be a great king. Only a King,” He was not so arrogant like Ragnar. “It is all I remember, and you haven't told me that you felt any different than any of the others. I can't read your mind Nochtli, you have to communicate with me.” Until proven otherwise they were snakes just like Xiuhcoatl. “It is how you, and I, were raised. It was what the Vikings thought of Coatl's Rise. I am sorry for grouping you with them and for offending you, but I don't remember you, Nochtli. Any of you, and when I have nothing but assumptions to go off of, even if it isn't right, it's what I go off of.” 

“I was wrong, and I'm glad that you don't feel the same as they do.” Aside from that, he wasn't what sure what else he could do. He'd said sorry, several times in fact. If she accepted it, or continued to be angry at him, well that choice was her's to make.

It was hard for him to believe. He refused to believe her because of the wolf he was now; not back then, which she had a clear memory of, but now. Her eyes narrowed, tail lashing behind her. And slowly, it rose during their conversation as Nochtli lost more and more respect for him. In truth, he was losing ground with her by the minute, for he was so blind, so closed minded, that he couldn't truly hear anything she was saying. And just like that, her resolve solidified. Her voice was no longer unsteady and loud, but calm and quiet, with the steadiness of a serpent before its strike.

"You are a greater fool than I thought, Tezcacoatl, if you are of a mind that any ruler controls the thoughts of the masses." The Queen may have forgiven them, or even pardoned them, but she had been a more pleasant creature than her predecessors. The Amazons that made up their society, the great majority of them at least, would have never forgiven them for their failure, especially to lose a male.

He went on, on about how he could not look her in the eyes, could not tell her the truth. Why? She knew why, even if he remained willfully ignorant. Where she had thought him alright before, he was now only a fool and a coward in her eyes; Nochtli Tlachinolli would follow no fool, nor any coward. "It would get me no farther than our words today have, Týrr." She spat the name. Tezcacoatl was officially dead to her.

"Consider this my resignation. I am done here." Her eyes burned ever bright as she regarded him, though her posture did not challenge his. She was simply done, and no words could convince her to stay. With that thought in mind, she backed away from him, keeping the now foreign male in her sights. She was an Amazon, and she gave her back to no stranger until there was a great distance between them.

Nochtli exits?!

Perhaps, Quetzalcoatl couldn't control how her Amazon's felt in regards to the Gladiators she had kept; even the Queen herself had disagreed with the elitist hierarchy she'd ruled, but to speak out against it was treason. It meant death; but none of the women had been held there against their will, except for Quetzalcoatl. A memory pierced through the barrier that kept the full of Tezcacoatl's memories at bay, causing a sharp ache to resound at the base of his skull as it broke through. It was an early childhood memory: cold if because snow had blanketed the ground as they — he and Quetzalcoatl — had walked across the borders of Coatl's Rise, speaking in hushed tones. He remembered asking his mother why, if she didn't agree, she hadn't left. Surely there were other places for her, for them, that they could see her dream: of a unified Amazon culture where the men were equal to their women counterparts come to reality; and Quetzalcoatl responding that she couldn't. She was a Coatl and to bear the name was to bear a great burden and an awful responsibility, which was why she had nicknamed him 'Tezca'. Quetzalcoatl could never leave the Rise (aside from temporarily) until the day she died, or was killed in battle. 

Nochtli hadn't been chained there like Quetzalcoatl had been (was?) and this begged the question, “If you didn't like it then why didn't you leave?” As she was so ready to do to him. It was the same thing: abandoning her mission, betraying him. Perhaps it wasn't a betrayal, but it sure felt like a knife had been shoved into his back. It hurt more than Tezcacoatl cared to admit, that he had once thought of her as family, he remembered, had once counted upon the entire garrison as his right hand's only to have Nochtli throw his blind trust in her back in his face. “That is not my name.” He growled lowly, bearing his teeth at the ebony amazon. Again, there she was throwing things that were wildly out of his control back into his face. Everything was spiraling out of his control and he was helpless to stop it. He'd apologized, endlessly, but she had seemed to hear what she had wanted to hear and nothing else. He'd only been trying to explain himself, but she had taken it all wrong.

“Then you understand what this means,” It held heavy ramifications all around. She might not be allowed to return to Frostfire Ridge, but furthermore she could never return to Coatl's Rise. Quetzalcoatl would never accept an Amazon back that had abandoned their mission: him. “It marks you as a traitor, in the eyes of your queen,” And in my eyes, too. “When you leave these borders, you know that if you ever come near them again I will kill you.” Or at least try, though it had been a lot easier than he'd thought it'd been: taking someone's life you'd once cared about (and that thought scared him). “I trusted you the most, Nochtli,” He whispered, knowing she could hear him even as she backed away from him, feeling like she was ripping a chunk of his heart out. Tezcacoatl had loved her, in a way, as a sister for he'd never had siblings of his own. The Garrison had been his family and to watch them walk away was hard, to pass the judgment was harder still. He bore the burden heavily, not something that he took lightly; but it could be no other way. He wouldn't beg her to stay because if she was truly happy walking away from him and her sisters then he had no right to bother to try. “May you find happiness where your path takes you.” Their parting was not on good terms in the least but his words were sincere. “I am truly sorry that it has come to this.” But, it was how it had to be and so long as she didn't force his paw by coming near the Ridge then he would let her alone. The same couldn't be said for whom he assumed to be the true culprit to this change (her male friend) for the suspicion was there in the back of his mind, awoken with her constant will to battle his words with every twist and turn, but he wished Nochtli, herself, no ill will.

The question he threw at her only drew a bitter smile from the girl. The ground between them had, proverbially, crack and the fissure continued to grow. He would never understand, and he hadn't bothered to try. Nochtli had never belonged in the society she'd been born into; despite that, she clung to it, and clung hard because in the end, it had been the only thing stable in her life, whether she had agreed or disagreed with their views, whether or not she'd liked it all. 

Now, he had stolen even that from her. Now, she had nothing, and no one. 

And it hurt like a bitch. 

Thread fade.