Redhawk Caldera But I can't fight anymore for you

Redhawk Caldera But I can't fight anymore for you - Printable Version

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But I can't fight anymore for you - Fennec - August 29, 2021

whenever you have time! Sorry for the double tag, I may RO the other one. I have all the muse for her tonight lolol

She had some of the worst timing, let's be honest. But by now she figured that @Bronco knew her pretty well, and part of knowing her was knowing exactly how fucked up she really was. She was a liar, a bitch, and absolutely selfish. All of her role models were women who took those qualities and owned them to their fullest; she intended to do them proud.

One thing she wasn't was a coward. And as soon as she had recognized her fear for what it was, she knew what she had to do.

All of her "signs" had pointed her towards this and she walked with absolute confidence towards where she suspected he might be. It was getting late, and as she walked, a veritable armada of screaming cicadas accompanied her. Lately their endless chirping had been grating on her nerves but today it felt a appropriate. She felt better than she had in a long time, but nothing about how she felt was quiet.

Bronco. We need to talk. She called it out, knowing how it sounded and yet using the phrase anyway. Maybe the outcome would be exactly what the phrase implied. Who really knew, with them?

The bramblewitch she'd always pictured had only ever run solo. Fate was a bigger bitch than she was, and Bronco really did deserve better. Even she knew that.

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - RIP Bronco - August 29, 2021

*hogs all the tags*

Time passed slowly. He avoided the borders and the other, as well as he could, and spent the majority of his time resting up after having been on the run and constantly fearful for so long. But even in his dreams he was chased- and he was restless even as he slept. Occasionally he woke himself up with the furious scrabbling of his own claws against the ground, so he'd move out into the darkness on his own to make sure he wouldn't accidentally harm Fennec or Killdeer if they were near.

The buzzing of the cicadas was like a white noise machine and for the first time in a while, as he napped in the early evening, he slept well. Until, of course, he heard his name. And while he had never given it to the hunters, it still caused him to yelp and scramble to his feet in a panic, baring his teeth in a silent grimace as though to fend off whoever it was that had found him.

Even though he recognized it immediately as Fennec, he'd stood up so quickly that the blood drained from his head and he teetered before flopping to the ground. He fought off the darkness that threatened to make him pass out, and panted softly as he rested his head on his paws. "Don't scare me like that," He wheezed.

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - Fennec - August 29, 2021

He was here, but as usual, the response was... unexpected. Only Bronco could make her second guess such a set decision with a single sentence. Even despite her better mood, she prickled defensively.

Right, silly me. Suppose I should have just looked first. I'll remember that next time. She couldn't help it. She'd come here for.... god. Did she really want to do this?

Did she even really know who he was anymore? She wasn't sure. She thought she had, but ever since he'd come back, it felt like there was some huge impassible wall between the two of them. This was the only way she knew of trying to get through. It was worth it on the off chance that maybe what they used to have was still in there, somewhere.

Fennec took a breath, then let it out, trying to find that lightness from a moment ago. It really did feel good to finally be at the point where she knew. Asking was never the hard part, but that didn't mean she wasn't nervous. I want you to be my mate, Bronco.

She delivered it about as romantically as if she'd made a comment about the weather, but there was definitely an undercurrent of nervous energy to her. I can take care of myself. I can take care of Killdeer too - I have so far. It isn't about that and it never was. I just want to be there, wherever you are. And I want to know that you trust me enough to let me choose for myself, because I can. I don't need you to protect me.

There, she'd said it. A little of a combative ending note there, but what the hell did she ever know about romance? She stood there silently after, waiting for a response. Fennec was uncomfortably aware that this was completely out of the blue - she wondered what the worst way he could shut her down was. Drowning himself again was probably top of the list.

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - RIP Bronco - August 29, 2021

Yet again, he was made to feel as though his trauma response was an inconvenience to her, and that she was the victim. He knew she could smell him out. Sure, she might not have been able to see that he had been sleeping but...Perhaps she simply didn't understand the extent to which he had been damaged, as she hadn't thought twice about barking at him.

She hadn't been through what he'd been through- he just had to keep reminding himself of that. He drew in a breath to quiet his restless spirits. "Sorry...I'm just...Yeah." He didn't want to apologize for being so gunshy- but he also knew it'd be best if he just did so, regardless.

He remembered what she'd said though, and began to worry. This was where she kicked him out, right? Or where she told him to stay and look after Killdeer so she could go off looking for the hunters? He'd assumed that that was coming- but what she asked next caught him wildly by surprise.

Why would she want that? Why would she want him, after yelling at him and walking off on him? It just didn't make sense. And she explained afterwards that she wasn't asking him to be her mate because she needed him- she just summarized the fact that he wasn't really needed at all.

"So...You know you're stronger, and braver than me...And you're basically saying you can raise Killdeer on your own- all of which is- I mean, yeah, it's all true- but...You still want to be my mate despite that?" He asked. It didn't make sense to him. He wasn't sure that was the sort of spiel one should give another when proposing mateship. "Generally...You tell someone...What you like about them, and like...How they make your life better...And then you propose. What....What do you even like about me, Fennec? Because it's....Really hard to tell right now."

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - Fennec - August 29, 2021

Well, it wasn't a no, but it wasn't a yes either. She felt a slow creep of icy dread as he proceeded to pick apart her proposal. So she wasn't some kind of expert like he was, for some fucking reason. She had no clue what she was doing. This wasn't normally something she did.

I don't know. She exclaimed, a little exasperated. Fuck. Damn it. That wasn't a pointed curse, and it was more directed at herself than him. She didn't know. That was the entire frustrating part of it.

I never said I was stronger than you. God, Bronco, do you even hear yourself? What do you like about yourself? Is there anything anymore? Do you know.... No, this wasn't going to help. It was easier to do this shit when he had enough self respect to argue back. Maybe that was the problem; she was kicking someone who seemed they had no fight left.

I miss you. I miss us. I miss how much you cared, and how you used to give me shit. I miss talking to you, and knowing you were listening. You made me want to be better. And you know what Bronco? I tried. I really tried. For you. Fuck, she was getting upset. And not in the mad way, more the embarrassing "hey voice what's happening" way.

You made my life better. Need you or not, that's why. That was all she had. She shut her mouth, but she could feel herself trembling with it. She braced herself for what he might say next because her case was... pretty dogshit. And if he shot her down, she was going to have to make a pretty quick exit.

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - RIP Bronco - August 29, 2021

What was there to like?

He was the cowardly son of a narcissist, who had abused him on more than one occasion. He'd been groomed for a career that didn't suit him. He'd moved from place to place for the sake of his family members. He had lived a life that he hadn't lived for himself, of by his own choices. And now Fennec was asking him to be her mate because he made her feel better. Because he listened to her, and cared for her, and forgave her when she ran off or yelled at him.

If there had been any part of him that had been a bit more aware of how others had treated him and used him throughout his life, he might've realized at some point that he needed to stop doing things purely for the sake of others. But he was too tired to make that argument. Too tired to point out that while he might have satisfied her needs, it often came at his expense.

He could tell that she was upset. He wasn't sure why she came to ask him this so soon after he'd come back. He knew at one point in his life, he would have been overjoyed to have been asked by Fennec to be her mate but...He'd have to find that wolf again, if he even existed.

"Can we...Take a bit of time?" He asked. "To be together...Raise Killdeer together, just....Make sure things...I'm...I need a bit more time, I'm....Not really feeling like myself. And I know at one point, I wanted you to be my mate, for sure, I just....I'm so tired right now, Fennec. I feel sick, all the time, I'm scared, and it hurts, I'm just...I need some time. But...I need your help, to get through it. I just wanna make sure..." If he could shrug off the foul darkness that gripped him and simply embrace the life he'd once been desoerate to have, things would be so much simpler but as it was, the pain he felt was too great to simply ignore.

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - Fennec - August 29, 2021

She'd thought she had been prepared, but she was wrong. She had been so, so, so so wrong.

She had her answer. That was what she'd needed. If it wasn't a yes, then it was a no, and she couldn't see it as anything less. She'd been waiting, so long, for him to ask. And now she knew why he hadn't. Now she knew why he'd left. He really was too good for her, in the end, and if he didn't need her as much then... maybe she should give him the chance to find someone who he could love. Someone who could deal with whatever this was, between them. Because she knew she couldn't live like this, waiting any longer, just anticipating the moment he'd finally realize she wasn't worth the trouble.

I can't. Her voice broke, and traitorously, the tears started to prick at her eyes faster than she could stop them. I get that you're scared, but if being scared means you don't want me, I feel like.... I think that's about the clearest answer I'll ever get. The crying started about halfway through that sentence. She hadn't wanted to make this another thing for him to feel guilty about, she really hadn't. You're going to be okay.

She wanted to be there for him, but she didn't know how. She didn't have any concept of what he was feeling or what he was going through, but at least, if they were mates, they both could have known they were in this together. He could have known that she wasn't going anywhere.

I'll still help, I just.... sorry...

She turned and began to walk away, shell shocked. She needed a moment.

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - RIP Bronco - August 29, 2021

She didn't often show a tonne of emotion, but he got the sense she was a bit shellshocked. She wasn't satisfied with his answer and for a moment, he felt relieved. Maybe he'd dodged a bullet. If she'd intended to be his mate, and love him, she would have to be willing to be patient and give a little. As it was, she wanted things her way, without being willing to compromise.

She began crying though, and he was not immune to the effect it had on him. "Fenn," He croaked softly, his voice catching lightly. He coughed. She took his compromise very poorly and in typical Fennec fashion, turned and began to walk away without bothering to try and find some sort of middle ground.

He sighed. This was always the way with her. She wanted what she wanted, and if she didn't get it the way she wanted it, she put up a fuss and left. It was time she learned that it wouldn't fix her problems- and that not everyone would chase after her whenever she decided to run off on them.

"Fennec." he barked stiffly. "If you walk away from me one more time..." He was done with it. He needed that selfish behaviour to stop- he was willing to walk through fire with her, but only if she allowed him to walk by her side.

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - Fennec - August 29, 2021

Oh... oh no.

I'M NOT WALKING AWAY FROM YOU!! She rounded, and the words came out half shriek, half sob. She hadn't wanted him to see this. She never wanted anyone to see this. But she was done with that bullshit. He didn't get to play that card.

I'M STILL HERE. I'VE BEEN HERE. I could've left a million times but I waited here, like an idiot, FOR YOU. Because I thought, maybe... FUCK! She dropped her head, trying to catch her breath. At this point there was no stopping the sobs that were absolutely crashing over her. I've tried so hard to be there and it didn't matter. You don't trust me. You never will. She couldn't. Let him blame her. She could take that if it made him feel better. Fuck it.

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - RIP Bronco - August 29, 2021

He grimaced when she launched into the inevitable next phase of her response. She technically had begun to walk away from him- and whenever she was called out for it, she'd yell at him. Hysterically. He wasn't sure he'd seen her this upset before, and it was an ugly trait to have.

He didn't like hearing that she'd waited here for him, not for Killdeer's sake. Then again, that might've been the case too but she was so wound up he wasn't sure that was a good point to make. Again, she was blaming him for leaving, and that she'd hated waiting for him. She seemed to resent him for her own choice to stay and wait for him to come back.

It was all very exhausting for him. He couldn't raise his voice to meet her outburst.

"Fenn. This isn't about trust. I just wanna be happy, and feel good the day we become mates. Not exhausted, not sick, not...Like this. Call me sentimental, but...I dunno. I want...A nice day. Maybe I take you to the seashore, and we let Killdeer play in the waves. And once we're all full of sunshine and salt and sand, we take him to a river, and have a splashing contest...And when he's all tired out, you an' I watch the sunset and then...I just...I want us to begin like that. I wanna look back years from now and remember that as the way we started our lives together, not...The way I feel right now." He said. "I'm not saying no. I'm just saying...When I have the energy to feel as happy as we're both owed."

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - Fennec - August 29, 2021

He was level as always. She stood there, a sobbing mess, and listened as he calmly explained why he had said no. It was a beautiful sentiment. Any wolf would be crazy to turn it down, to insist that he cave now or she wouldn't give him another shot. But as selfish as Fennec was, she never asked for anything she didn't need.

She'd pulled her heart out of her chest and dropped it out at his feet. Now she had a gaping wound where it used to be and a pain response that was never rational. She'd tried to leave but he'd pinned her here with that accusation. Now she was hemorrhaging on the ground in front of him and didn't know what else to do.

Then it's never going to happen. Because when do we ever get to be happy. I can't wait forever. It's already been... and it's too much. Let me go. Her tone started jaded but ended with a note of a plea on the end. She wasn't going anywhere. But she couldn't be here right now.

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - RIP Bronco - August 29, 2021

Like a hailstorm tempering to rainfall, she switched from seeming volatile, to actually confessing a bit of what he believed to be a fear of hers. The dread that things would never get better and hell- they sure had been through a lot together thus far. But he wasn't willing to submit to the belief that life would always be like that. There would be peace for them, a place for them to be happy.

"No," He said softly, assuming she was asking him to let her go for good. "There will be a place, and a time, where we'll be happy. It won't take forever. There'll be shit, too, but things...We'll make them get better. Together. If...If you need that promise from me now, to be your mate, then I'll do it, just...I dunno. Can we maybe postpone the sort of....honeymooning stuff just a bit? I just...I wanna celebrate Fenn I'm just honestly too exhausted to do....Stuff." he answered somewhat lamely.

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - Fennec - August 29, 2021

What was he talking about? What the hell was honeymoon stuff? They had a kid. She wasn't asking.... holy shit. Fennec's expression shifted to dumbfounded through the tears.

I'm not asking for perfection. I don't care how we do it, or even who knows. She took a breath, trying to stop shuddering. This was so pathetic. I don't care about any of that. I just want to know if you're all in. Fuck the pack, fuck Killdeer, fuck everything else. I love him, but... you know what I mean. If all that was left was me.... would you still want me around?

She sounded like an insecure pup now. She closed her eyes, internally screaming at herself. She'd worried for so long that he was only thrilled about Killdeer because he wanted to be a dad, and now, she worried that he was the only reason Bronco wanted her at all. She couldn't let herself go deeper until she knew. It was tearing her apart, not knowing, and the insecurity had been wrecking more than her relationship with him. She felt like a part of her was being eaten from the inside out.

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - RIP Bronco - August 29, 2021

Woah. What exactly did she want, and what was she asking for? And how could she ever say 'Fuck Killdeer'? What kind of mother would say that about their-

Niamh would. Niamh would've said that about him. Probably about Nellie, too. He felt icy dread, and wondered if his father had had the same trepidation about marrying someone so fiery.

He balked.

He had to tread carefully now. With her confessing her insecurities and becoming vulnerable, he knew that every nerve would be raw. One misstep, and he knew he'd get yelled at, chased off, or worse. But it didn't sit right with him to hear her more or less confess that she wanted him more than their son.

He remembered how she'd been when she'd told him she was pregnant. She hadn't been excited, she hadn't been giddy and proud, not the way he had been. If he was what she wanted most and yet she still treated him this way....

...Killdeer would never have a good life. He'd grow up raised by the same monster that had raised him.

So for the sake of his son, he had to be for Killdeer what Colt, Phox, and Towhee had been for him. Despite whatever it might cost him someday.

So he lifted himself to his feet shakily, and drew toward her. Though his throat was still sore and dry, he uttered a soft rumble of a growl- the first show of affection he'd been able to manage thus far. "Of course, Fennec."

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - Fennec - August 29, 2021

She had no way of knowing what he was thinking. So to her, those words were a big part of the affirmation she needed. She wasn't just a means to an end, or a convenient lay that had accidentally turned into something more. He wasn't here out of obligation, but because he actually did care about her. Suddenly the ground they stood on felt a little more firm.

She'd come to love Killdeer deeper than even she could explain over the past few months. But she hadn't realized how little of her feelings about Bronco, and the rest of the situation, had been eating at her until he came back. His disappearance, it seemed, had only made that worse.

Okay. It came out a little weak, and she cleared her own throat. So that was... it, then. Except... Is that a yes, then? She asked it hesitantly. It felt like he understood better what she meant by it. She wouldn't tell anyone - hell, she'd even keep her mom in the dark. It only mattered that they knew.

Maybe, one day, he'd get his wish. But Fennec couldn't help but doubt it with their luck. She didn't remember the last time they'd all just been happy and, if he was being chased by something, they were at the mercy of that too.

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - RIP Bronco - August 30, 2021

She seemed to settle when she came closer to getting what she wanted. At least he had found a way to potentially temper her, but he couldn't help but wonder if he was entering into the sort of matrimony that might waste him away as waves did the rocks along the shore.

Maybe he should have stuck to his instincts, and waited for her to come around- but some deserts waited ages for any rain, and their beds crackles and plants withered because of it.

"Yes, He affirmed quietly. He wondered how Killdeer mught take it- having this stranger sweep into his life, claiming to be his father, and now taking his mother as his mate. He might not know it yet, but Bronco had Killdeer's best interests at heart.

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - Fennec - August 30, 2021

It was a little terrifying how much gratitude that one word elicited from her. She hadn't thought he would say it. This entire conversation had been a roller coaster of mostly her own making, but in the end, he'd... agreed.

She hadn't forced him to, not enough to discredit the meaning of it within her own perceptions. He could have said no and they could have gone their separate ways. This didn't need to change anything for them, but it did change everything for her. They'd never put any words to whatever this thing was that they had. They'd never made any promises, or even really spoken about what they meant to each other. Bronco had shown he cared... but so had Fig. So had her father, and her mother, and a dozen others who'd walked in and out of her life.

So had Penn.

Fennec walked towards him wordlessly and moved to rest her head against him, whatever part she found. If he didn't pull away, she'd stay there for a long moment, just trying to let the emotions of this conversation fade into something more reasonable.

I won't say anything. No one has to know until you want them to. She said, finally. But.... thank you.

She probably should apologize for freaking the fuck out over this, but she couldn't. Instead, thanks was about as close as she could come right now, but she meant it. She wouldn't have blamed or hated him for writing her off. But he didn't. He never did.

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - RIP Bronco - August 30, 2021

He wondered, now, how she might have felt if he'd asked her on one of the numerous other occasions when he'd felt the impulse to ask her to be his mate. He might've wanted to ask her as far back as the day when he'd brought her the coconut shell, had that day not ended so poorly. He might've asked her in the early spring, or when she realized she was pregnant but...Things had never panned out. It seemed time and time again that just when they were within reach of something good, it was wrenched from their grasp.

He'd wanted to ask her when she'd become pregnant, but she'd shown so little enthusiasm about conceiving, with his child, that he'd decided not to. He didn't want her to think, either, that he was asking only because he'd knocked her up.

And maybe things would have worked out if he'd asked her then. Maybe he wouldn't have gone looking for his mother if he'd felt more tied to the Caldera. Maybe they would have sorted out their many communication issues by now. Maybe they would have figured out how to give and receive according to one another's love languages- but there was no way to tell. All he could hope for now was that he could provide a stable environment for Killdeer, and perhaps give him the opportunity to live a gentler life than the one he'd had.

His doubts grew when she offered to keep their mateship a secret- though it seemed like she was simpy offering to keep it quiet for his sake, not because she was wanting to keep it quiet herself. Unless, of course, this was her way of saying she wanted to keep their relationship a secret. He, however, wasn't going to have that. If she'd pitched such a fit to get him to be her mate, then why would she want to keep it a secret?

Whatever her idea and definition of mateship was, and how it should be approached and celebrated, was very different from his. And if he couldn't have his romantic proposal and little getaway, he at least wanted some sort of acknowledgement of their relationship.

"I'd have everyone know," He croaked bluntly. Perhaps he might've sounded slightly offended by the proposal that they keep it a secret, but he wasn't without the ability to compromise. "But if you wanna tell some first, like Killdeer an' Towhee an' whoever before making it public, that makes sense to me. I haven't even seen anyone else since getting back yet, but I dunno. I don't think anyone would hate to hear that I'm back and that we're mates." He said. He paused, and chuffed to clear his throat, in light amusement. "It'll be our pack one day anyway so we may as well start making our own rules now." He joked.

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - Fennec - August 31, 2021

She was surprised when he turned down what she had assumed to be a compromise on her own part, and sounded a little upset by it. She didn't move from where she was though. She'd assumed that his hesitance would mean he'd rather make some sort of deal out of it, but for her, sooner was even better. She didn't care how they did it so long as it was done.

I thought... she started to try to find an explanation, but then decided it didn't matter. Nevermind. I'm totally fine telling everyone. And.... well. Honestly, she wasn't sure how they'd take it, but she didn't give a shit about their reactions either.

Bronco didn't know about any of that, and she hadn't wanted to bring up her baggage with everything going on with him. But the second thing he said struck a little close to it and she realized, suddenly, that he might have the wrong idea about the state of things here.

She sat down, resting her side against his lightly, but lifting her head towards where the rest of the pack likely was. He was joking but he probably... should know this. Might be a little longer than you think, for that. I stepped down. Mom and I haven't really talked since.

Add to that Ruenna's promotion, and how the other woman obviously felt about Fennec... her chances, she assumed, were pretty well sunk in that department. Their loss, of course. She only really regretted it now because she may have ruined his shot as well.

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - RIP Bronco - August 31, 2021

Had she assumed that he'd wanted to keep their relationship a secret? Of course, if the hunters showed up, he'd deny any connection with her- any wolf would, to protect their loved one, he thought. But that didn't mean they shouldn't be together in the meantime.

Regardless, she seemed to relax once they'd come to an agreement, and moved toward him to sit at his side and lean against him. His skin prickled, and his ears flicked back. He didn't want to be touched. It was just Fennec, he told himself. Don't project. He'd have to be fine with this; it'd be easier if he acted as though this was fine. It would've been hard to feel any tension in his muscles anyway, as scant as they were. With his shoulders so bony, he doubted she would've felt how stiff he was anyway. A blessing in disguise.

He tried to stay tuned in to what she was talking about despite the alarms going off in his brain. "Oh?" An argument with Towhee, likely- just like the way Niamh had argued with her before. He was aware that his mother had been demoted, or asked to step down, before. The parallels were unnerving. Then again, he shouldn't simply assume. "I'm sure she'll understand, whatever reasons you had for doing so. Do you think she's disappointed or something?" Something was keeping Fennec and Towhee from having a conversation and while he didn't really have the bandwidth to try and help them sort it out, it was sort of his duty, now, to listen to his new mate and help her get through tough things like this.

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - Fennec - August 31, 2021

She didn't notice his discomfort, but because he didn't move closer, she didn't either. She wasn't the type to dwell on things but she knew she'd made things... difficult here. Completely unaware of his aversion to touch, she put the lack on that. It was another reminder of how much things had changed, albeit a small one, and she felt a small pang for it.

No. I don't think my style suited them, and besides.... she seems to think I can't do it and be there for Killdeer. She's wrong, but I'd rather not hear it. It was about the worst-faith interpretation of what her mom had said but Fennec had been seriously bothered by the implication she read in it.

Witches don't need that sort of thing anyway. We're the ones those types come to when they have real problems. Fennec added with a small smirk. She didn't want to weigh down the conversation with things that really were settled, and it seemed like so much less of a big deal now that they were here. Maybe Bronco could work his way up if he wanted to.

Or, maybe... when Killdeer was old enough, they could do their own thing.

She loved her family, but it was a neat thought, building something that was theirs. It surprised her, just then, that she actually wanted that. She'd always been fond of roaming but she'd never, in her memory, actually considered founding a pack. It seemed the past few months had changed her in a few ways as well.

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - RIP Bronco - September 15, 2021

Her style. For some reason, Bronco couldn't help but wonder if Fennec's style of leadership was anything like Niamh's, and maybe that was why there'd been some friction. Still, Towhee might've been reasonable thinking that Fennec should spend some time taking care of Killdeer rather than taking on leadership as well, with Bronco being absent- but he wasn't about to say it. He had to be amenable. So he nodded along and hummed thoughtfully in agreement.

He'd never really been too worried or concerned about Fennec's obsession with being a witch, though. It seemed fairly harmless to him- helpful, in fsct, considering she knew plants well enough to also be a medic. "What was it I called you one time? Briarwitch?" He asked. He'd liked the sound of it. It made his lips twinge, almost as though he'd thought of smiling. But then they settled back to the dark, thin line that trailed down faintly at his jaw.

"Mom never showed back up, did she," He stated. There might've been a hint of spite in his voice too; if Niamh hadn't lost her mind, he'd have his younger siblings to play with, and wouldn't have had to go looking for her, and never would have wound up this way.

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - Fennec - September 26, 2021

It was good to see him almost smile, though he immediately turned the conversation to darker subjects. She'd completely forgotten that he didn't know.

Shit. she cursed, quietly. She needed to tell him. Alyx she'd left to someone else, but Bronco deserved to hear it now and from her.

No. Dad found where she went, but by the time he got there, she'd already had her kids. They survived but she didn't. Fennec didn't want to mince the words, and after she waited. 'I'm sorry' didn't seem right - it wasn't any of their fault and saying it wouldn't fix anything. In fact, it didn't feel like there was much she could say, or do, aside from being there if he needed or wanted her to be.

She still felt a very complicated mix of things anytime she thought of Niamh. Doubtless that was nothing compared to how Bronco would feel, though.

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - RIP Bronco - September 26, 2021

He sighed. Well, this wasn't promising. He knew immediately something bad was coming. Fennec would've just shaken her head or said 'no' if Niamh hadn't been found. But the way she swore told him immediately that there was more to the story.

His ears pricked for a moment- the pups had been born! He had more younger siblings! That, to him, was good news- he loved being a brother but too quickly on the tail of that little bit of happiness came news he hadn't been expecting. The pups survived- but Niamh hadn't.

He choked on his words for a second. "What do you mean, she didn't survive?" He asked incredulously. This was preposterous. Fennec couldn't be saying this...Fennec couldn't be trying to tell him that his mother was-

RE: But I can't fight anymore for you - Fennec - September 26, 2021

She died. She answered, strangely patient despite essentially repeating what she'd said moments before. It was clear that Bronco was struggling to absorb this and Fennec didn't blame him. She hated being the bearer of bad news but she'd been sitting with it long enough to say it outright. She'd have told him earlier if she'd remembered, but with everything else happening, she'd completely forgotten that he didn't know.

While her voice was gentle, her nerves and muscles were slightly tended, waiting to see how he'd react. She wanted to move in and comfort him, like she would have before... everything. But something about that felt wrong now, and instead she remained as she was.