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+--- Thread: Horizon Ridge Mexican highway (/showthread.php?tid=1038)
Mexican highway - Pied - January 27, 2014
The best word to describe Pied lately would be restless. She couldn't stop fretting about the situation with Akhlut. It reminded her of the cold, lonely, hungry weeks after Jinx's disappearance from Bon Dye, which triggered a bad anxiety within her. Why wasn't the Alpha male more present and involved in pack matters? His leadership wasn't very strong, whatever the reason, and Pied didn't know what to do if Jinx either stepped up to help him or—knowing the Gamma perhaps better than anyone else—stole the Alpha's crown entirely. Pied didn't want the crown for herself, nor did she want to fight Jinx, but nor could she swear fealty to her.
To make matters worse, Pied's mothering instincts were reaching a fevered pitch. She wanted to be a mother. She would would do anything to safely bear a litter. Yet she didn't have Akhlut's blessing, nor would she have Jinx's in the event that it mattered. As her body came ever closer to sexual maturity, she found her thoughts straying to the plateau. She knew Hawkeye was a good leader and that she'd welcome Pied's pups. It would be so easy to just run there, yet Pied was not the type to simply flee without a word to serve her own selfish needs, leaving behind a pack that needed her... even if the drive was strong and getting stronger, threatening to overrule her better nature.
Whining under her breath, Pied paced in front of the lair she shared with Kisu, stopping every now and then to stare at it. Would she raise her family in there... or would she be forced to go somewhere else? Back and forth she walked, mulling over everything. She hoped all this worrying would come to nothing, that Akhlut would reach his full potential as an Alpha, give his only mated pair his blessing to breed and keep Jinx in her place.
Yet she simply couldn't bet on that, not with her chance motherhood at stake. Stopping and sitting abruptly, Pied threw back her head and called for her mate. She'd reached the point where she needed to bring up the situation with Kisu and discuss their options. Besides, she couldn't and didn't want to make any decisions without him; it would take both of them to create and rear the litter of her dreams.
And she could feel that moment—the window of opportunity to start their family—drawing very near now. Once Pied went into heat, she knew that all bets were off and Mother Nature's most compelling desire would rule her.
RE: Mexican highway - Kisu - January 27, 2014
Kisu's ears perked and a smile shone on his face. Finally, he thought. She finally called for him. When he and Red Heart were mates, they were never a part. Ever. It made Kisu feel odd to have Pied go off all of the time, coming back with scents of different wolves and new adventures under her belt. Possessive was not a word that came to mind for him, but lonely was.
Trotting up to Pied, Kisu buried his multi-colored head into her neck. He could sense the tension. "What troubles you, my little Pied? Is there anything I can do to help? He licked the area between her hetero-chromatic eye and her blue-grey ear in an attempt to comfort his mate.
RE: Mexican highway - Pied - January 27, 2014
Kisu's arrival eased some of her tension and she rose halfway to meet him, then sank back down as he nuzzled into her neck. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?" she murmured, lapping at the side of his muzzle. "You mean everything to me, Kisu."
Before he could begin to think there must be something terribly wrong, Pied addressed her worries and fears aloud. "Kisu, I'm freaking out because... I've barely seen Akhlut since joining and definitely haven't gotten to know him better. I'm going to go into heat before I ever get the chance to get his blessing." She bit her lower lip, her gaze seeking his.
"On top of that, I'm afraid Jinx is going to become a leader and I... I don't know if I can follow her. I'm also sure she wouldn't give us her blessing either, because of our history." She paused, then surmised, "Basically, I feel like my chance at motherhood here in Horizon Ridge is incredibly compromised."
She knew Kisu had said they'd found their own pack in the event that they couldn't safely raise a family here, yet Pied didn't know if she'd make a good Alpha. She'd proved she could be dominant and certainly she'd grown and changed these past few months especially. She just didn't know if she was prepared for that yoke.
Besides, there was the aforementioned option: "I know for a fact Hawkeye would welcome both us and our litter, should it come down to that." Pied threw it out there, then finally pressed her lips together and gave Kisu a chance to get a word in edgewise.
RE: Mexican highway - Kisu - January 27, 2014
Kisu listened to Pied's words, concern spreading across his face and knitting itself into his brow. He hadn't been worried about any of this until the female before him spoke her piece.
"Akhlut is young, and not a strong leader like I had hoped. I have been a young Alpha before, and figured he just needed time, but I fear that our children could pose a threat. We will have strong pups, no matter the number, and that could be concern since he must know that we will put our babes before him even if we protest differently.
"Do you fear the White One and our children being alone together? I will admit that she is an odd one." Kisu deep a deep breath in and considered switching his loyalties. "I understand your concern, but it sounds like you would wish to rejoin Hawkeye no matter what happened. Maybe then, eventually, we could start our own pack, Pied." Kisu didn't feel as if he was pushing too hard for his own pack, but the desire to be in control of what happened was almost driving him crazy.
RE: Mexican highway - Pied - January 27, 2014
"Jinx wouldn't let it get that far," Pied said. "If it were up to her in any capacity, she wouldn't let me breed. There's just too much bad blood between us. She will never forgive myself and the others for giving up on Bon Dye, even though it was the difference between life and death for us," she explained with a deep frown carving into her young, pale face.
"It's not that I want to move back there," she said thoughtfully. "It's just that Hawkeye's made it clear I'd be welcome there along with you and our pups. I find comfort in that, even if it's not ideal. You know?" Her eyes sought his, hoping he understood.
Just as before, Kisu seemed ready and willing to take the risk of founding their own pack rather than worrying about others ruling their lives. Pied's stomach clenched anxiously but she didn't dismiss it. Instead, she clarified, "Are you saying we should go to the plateau, then start our own pack one day... or are you proposing we just do it now?"
RE: Mexican highway - Kisu - January 27, 2014
Kisu's head tilted. "Our family comes first. If we will find protection at the plateau under Hawkeye's rule, then I am unopposed. Maybe after our second litter we can start our own pack, so at least we will have some numbers with the pups following us. Are you sure Hawkeye finds absolutely no threat of us breeding on the plateau? I am sure that us breaking our bonds and going under new leadership will break whatever truce Akhlut and Hawkeye have."
He imagined the two leaving to a new home, and wondered what it would be like in the forest. Would he find more peace there? He always felt restless on these lands, no matter how beautiful the beach was. He would rather have a strong ruler than a weak one, in any situation.
RE: Mexican highway - Pied - January 27, 2014
Kisu's measured voice gently braided Pied's frayed nerves back together as he mused aloud about the pros and cons of this weighty decision. She listened, trusting him to know what was best for them and their family, and to inspect the situation from every angle. He had both maturity and experience on his side, whereas Pied had only instincts and desires that threatened to skew her judgment.
"We'd have to speak to Hawkeye first, to make sure the offer still stands," the young Delta replied. "And, honestly, I'm not too worried about anything to do with Akhlut right now. He's all but invisible. I mean, have you spent any time with him lately?" she questioned. She still wanted Akhlut to come through for them—it would certainly make life easier—but, especially after everything that had happened in Bon Dye, she simply couldn't bring herself to put her stock in new, young, unproven leaders anymore.
"It's all stuff we need to think over carefully before we make any decisions. I guess I just wanted to hash it all out with you and see how you felt," the pale yearling said. "I have no control over when it happens—when I go into heat, I mean," Pied continued. "I just want to be prepared to do whatever we have to do to make sure we can start our family when the time comes."
RE: Mexican highway - Kisu - January 27, 2014
He let a slow breath out, weighing everything, though there wasn't much to consider in the way of Akhlut. "Then we will speak to Hawkeye and ask for protection and a place in her pack. I just worry that she will change her mind after the fact, but you know her better than I do."
Worry, he did indeed. It seemed as if odds were stacked against them, but were they stacking the odds themselves? Akhlut seemed to have said it was okay to breed, but official word had not been given. Were they just to assume, then? No, Kisu told himself. What if he changed his mind and went after them? Kisu would fight to the death, but in his heart he was not a fighter; he was always good at it, but the truth was that the desire to fight never arrived.
RE: Mexican highway - Pied - January 27, 2014
Her heart squeezed at the finality in his voice and Pied realized she was not prepared to take such decisive action just yet, despite her frantic need for clarity. "I'll head out to see her tomorrow. Would you like to come or do you want to leave it to me?" she asked. By the sound of it, he wanted to accompany her and she certainly wouldn't mind him there, though she wasn't sure. "Maybe we can kill two birds with one stone: we can talk to Robur while we're there." After all, if they were going to consider relocating to the plateau, they needed to mend that rift, didn't they? Pied didn't want Kisu and Rob to have the strained relationship that she herself shared with Jinx.
Another worry wriggled its way to the forefront of her mind. "What if it happens sooner, though? I mean, I could wake up tomorrow and that could be it; it could be time. We need to decide if we'd still go through with it and what we'd do if we did. I'm not taking any chances. We don't know where Akhlut stands on our breeding right now and I am not going to risk him hurting one of us or our pups," Pied said emphatically, a sharp growl suddenly bursting through her teeth at the thought of him harming their young.
RE: Mexican highway - Kisu - January 27, 2014
Kisu sighed and knocked his head against Pied's. "You worry too much. We will speak to Hawkeye, but you do the talking. She knows you better." He paused a moment, wondering how the conversation might go.
"If it happens tomorrow, then it happens tomorrow. There is nothing we can do about it, and fretting only makes things worse, my Pied. No matter what things turn out to be, we will have a family." Gruffness touched his voice when he said "will", partially in frustration toward Akhlut, and partially to help Pied to stop her concern.
RE: Mexican highway - Pied - January 27, 2014
Although Pied knew Kisu wanted her to stop worrying as much—and he certainly had helped—she simply couldn't stop fretting entirely. There were still some loose ends which agitated her. Although she took Kisu's statement to mean they would conceive no matter what, she still felt worried and restless. She wondered if these feelings marked the onset of her heat.
"If it does happen tomorrow, we'll be running to the plateau, not walking there," she mused aloud, her joke coming across rather dryly. "I mean, if we just went for it, I'm sure we wouldn't be welcome here and we wouldn't want to risk it anyway. Hawkeye would give us refuge, though I'm sure she'd prefer we not arrive already pregnant, begging to join rather than asking just in case..." Realizing she was babbling, Pied closed her mouth.
Meeting her mate's eyes, Pied drew in a long, slow breath, held it a moment, then released it. She hoped that she could let go some of her anxiety as well. "This isn't how I wanted it to be... but that's just how life is sometimes, isn't it?" She found herself looking sideways, her face growing wistful as she gazed at the sea. "I'll miss living here, if we do have to go," she murmured, trying but failing to fully stifle a soft sigh.
RE: Mexican highway - Kisu - January 27, 2014
Kisu simply nodded in agreement "I prefer the woods to the beach, though I know you enjoy the smell of the sea. Should we go home now for the night, Pied?" As he said this, thoughts rolled through his head.
Thoughts of whether or not Akhlut could make it as a leader. Worry over Jinx, but solely stemming from Pied's worry. He thought of being close to his son, but knew that if they did not get along, it would cause trouble within the ranks. He sighed. It was for the best. A smile appeared on his face as he daydreamed of their new home.
RE: Mexican highway - Pied - January 27, 2014
When Kisu stated his preference, Pied wondered why they hadn't considered the plateau in the beginning. She suspected there had been good reasons, yet she couldn't recall them. She supposed it didn't matter now; there was no use getting hung up on things long past.
"I guess we do have a big day tomorrow," she agreed, though Pied knew she wouldn't be sleeping any time soon, not with everything on her mind. "Love you," she added quietly as she rubbed her head against the side of his neck and led him into their den.