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+--- Thread: Stavanger Bay all this time (/showthread.php?tid=11157)
all this time - Charon - September 28, 2015
Charon had been out exploring a lot lately, but there was one thing that he needed to do that had been weighing him down throughout his travels. Atreyu had been by his side and seemed to come around a bit, and Flóki was his most supportive pack member presently. He hadn't seen Saskia, and Charon wondered with a bit of worry if he was going to lose his thrall. He hated to admit that he had really enjoyed spending time with Saskia, and that she had grown to be part of their small pack that he liked. He was angry that she would dare leave him after swearing on her life that she would always stay and never desert. If she had really left, then she had better be committing ritual suicide for failing him someplace, Charon grumpily thought.
However, today he knew he needed to find his adoptive mother. She was still his mother, after all (well, not his biological mother, but more of a mother than Julooke had been for him due to her early death). Charon hadn't expected her to spice up through his announcement; perhaps because she had been so heartbroken and down lately that he hadn't expected anything from her anymore. In hindsight, maybe he could've handled things a bit more delicately. However, Flóki's resolve and belief in how right he was fueled the yearling's self-righteousness. And anyway, if he was gonna be an Alpha, he couldn't just back down because someone wasn't believing in his plans, or got their feelings hurt or whatever.
".. mom?" Charon awkwardly called out when he arrived at @Thistle Cloud 's herb den, figuring that was most odds he had of finding her. He didn't actually call her 'mother' usually, even though she pretty much was. There was some sort of awkward lingering respect for Julooke there, even though he barely knew her. As though calling Thistle 'mom' would somehow make Julooke disappear. Charon neutrally waited, hoping that she was around here. He wasn't sure what to say just yet, but he figured he'd improvise, like always. He didn't really want to say sorry, because he wasn't sorry, but he wanted to say something to make things alright between them.
RE: all this time - Thistle Cloud - September 29, 2015
Thistle did not worry after Floki or Charon while Atreyu was around and the latter around Floki. She knew they would care for her children. She briefly thought on her other three with a twinge of discomfort and sadness. Not sure where to go with those thoughts so she turned them off quickly. Thistle had heard the rumor of the female thrall and she wondered at it. She did not condemn Charon for that though, for Ragnar himself kept thralls and the like.
Thistle Cloud heard the soft call of Mom and turned towards it. She frowned, unsure what to say to Charon or how this would go. She was a bit worried about it, to be honest. However, much like him she knew time was of the essence and they did need to speak about it. She was hurt, and anxious. He had no right to make decisions for her, and she would just have to firmly explain that to him. She honestly wasn't sure if she could follow him as a leader if he didn't weigh on others council, especially those who were older than him.
She stepped from the den, and gave him a soft smile. Hello Charon
RE: all this time - Charon - September 29, 2015
Charon was both glad and a little anxious when he found out that Thistle Cloud was about. He still wasn't sure what he was going to say to her, exactly, and he hated the feeling of anxiety. Charon hadn't been scared of many things in his life, and the last time he'd felt like this had been on the day he had turned nine months of age, when he had waited for Thistle to appoint him Beta. He didn't feel like he needed her approval now, being all grown up... Or that's what his conscious mind tried to tell himself, anyway. He'd never admit out loud how much Thistle's opinion mattered to him.
Thistle didn't seem mad, smiling when she saw him, and Charon licked the bottom of her chin to show that he still respected her. Words usually came easy for the yearling, but now he found them faltering. "Look..." he began, his brow knitting together into a frown. "I didn't mean to hurt you, or whatever. I just didn't expect you to get mad about this, because to me it felt like the big solution to all our problems. And you'd been so..." Charon squinted his lips, not sure what words to pick, as he wanted to pick them carefully. "I guess I got kind of used to making the decisions because you were in so much pain. I thought you'd be happier this way." When he said this, his ears folded back, and it was written on his face that he wasn't sure Thistle would appreciate his choice of words, even if he meant no harm by them. He didn't want to take them back or apologise for them, however, because no matter how painful they might be, he thought them true. I guess I was wrong, he thought bitterly to himself, but he couldn't bring himself to say those words — that would be a little more painful to Charon than he could handle.
RE: all this time - Thistle Cloud - October 08, 2015
Thistle was momentarily surprised that Charon had sought her out. The discomfort was still there, but she was doing her best to absolve it. Thistle was fearful of how Charon was acting lately. He was an adult in body yes, but not quite yet in mind. He had a long way to go to get there, even she herself had trouble with adult thoughts.
Thistle listened without comment at first. Let him get what he needed out. A frown burrowing between her brows. She frowned, and settled to her haunches, curling her tail around her paws. No charon I am not happy this way. You took away my freedom of choice. You took away my voice, and completely disregarded my position. I have been grief stricken yes. And you have made small decisions about dens, and patrols and other such things. You however did not ever until now make such a big decision that affected everyone. No one gets to make a decision for another it's not fair, and it's frankly disrespectful. You did hurt me, but more than that you made me feel as if my worth is nothing. By choosing to make my decision, it shows me that you don't really have any thought for me, but in a way for yourself. And I think you were trying to make a decision based on what is best for the pack, but also what is best for you. You want leadership so badly Charon you are willing to walk on those you loved to get it, and that my son isn't fair.
Thistle grew quiet for a minute allowing her words to sink in and then she spoke again. I am not saying you are wrong Charon. And in this case we do need to do something. However, what I am trying to say is that you had no right to make the decision for everyone. What you should have done was carry the news back to us, and have a meeting. Weigh the council of everyone. It would have avoided all the hurt feelings.
RE: all this time - Charon - October 09, 2015
Charon watched the frown grow on Thistle Cloud's face. He just really didn't understand where she was coming from, lacking both the empathy and the life experience to walk a mile in her shoes. Even as she told him what she thought he'd done wrong Charon did not feel guilty; he just felt misunderstood, and in his mind he placed himself as the victim of the situation, being told off for trying to do what was best for the pack (even if it was also what was best for him — well, maybe not best, but what he wanted).
He didn't share this with Thistle however, just listening as she spoke and trying not to look upset, sad or angry. Thistle was one of few wolves who could make him suck up his most honest and brutal thoughts. Charon wanted her to come with him and Ame, so he wanted to keep her on his good side, even if he felt misunderstood and unrightfully called out by his adoptive mother.
There was a silence after Thistle Cloud finished speaking the second time in which Charon looked thoughtful for a moment. Eventually he spoke. "I'll keep it in mind for the future," he ended up saying, and he smiled uncomfortably, as though he really was sorry (even though he felt that at least part of the blame lay elsewhere). He did genuinely wish Thistle hadn't been hurt, though, as that was never his intent. "I never meant to hurt you. You know that, right..? If I could take it back and do it differently I would take it back and change it, and just talk to you first and ask it differently. But it already happened and now all we can do is go forward." It was a bit of a white lie to say that he'd do things differently if he could, because he wasn't really sure if he would. But if not only for Thistle's sake, maybe he did mean part of that — if he would've known how upsetting this would've been for her, he would definitely have done things differently. If not only to avoid this situation.
RE: all this time - Thistle Cloud - October 10, 2015
Thistle sighed softly. She wasn't sure if Charon even understood half of what it took to be a leader. Or even if he understood her. He was selfish, there was no getting around it. As much as she loved the young man, he was selfish. She realized as this dawned on her, that he would never understand where she was coming from, at least not until he gained some maturity under his fur. He was going to have to fall, and fall hard to understand she was thinking.
Thistle stared at him as he spoke. His smile was fixed and strange. She knew then that he really didn't mean what he said, he was just saying it to appease her. At least not all of it anyway. She huffed quietly, but gave a quick nod of affirmation. Charon it would do you well to think of others as a leader. That's all I'm saying on the subject. You are right moving forward is the only thing to do. Thistle grew quiet and stirred her paw across the ground. Thinking hard about what to say and how to say it.
She wanted to lay this argument to rest, it was ridiculous. Neither one of them were willing to give where they were concerned. Thistle was actually a little disgusted in general not just at Charon. She was tired of giving, and giving and getting nothing in return. Honestly sometimes it felt as if that was all she did.
Did you find a territory you like?
RE: all this time - Charon - October 13, 2015
Charon nodded at Thistle's words. "You're right," he said, though not specifying which bit, exactly, she was right about. It didn't matter; all that mattered to him was that they were moving forward now. Charon reached out his nose to nuzzle Thistle's cheek, a soft smile on his face. He did love her, didn't want to hurt her even though he had. That he might lose her didn't even occur to Charon, or he might've told her that he wanted her by his side, that he didn't want to lose her.
When Thistle asked about territories, Charon smiled fondly. He was glad that she was moving forward, too, and even wanted to think along about where to settle. "I like Moonspear. It's in the mountain ridge to our south. It's a giant mountain that seems to reach almost so tall you could reach the moon and stars themselves. There's forested areas at the base for when winters are cold and for herbs and prey. I think it might be a good place." He wanted to wait what Ame said — she was the mountain expert, after all — before making any decisions, but Charon had a really good feeling about Moonspear. And Flóki seemed to like it, too.
RE: all this time - Thistle Cloud - October 24, 2015
Thistle studied him, unsure how to take what he said. She always wasn't entirely certain what he was agreeing she was right about. She had mentioned a number of things she could have been right about. Was he encompassing all of them when he said she was right? OR just one or two of them. She really wasn't certain. She licked the side of his cheek at his nuzzle, and sweeped her tail side to side once or twice. She however, stopped speaking of hurt and pain. She knew it would get her no where. Instead she focused on his words of the territory he wanted.
Thistle listened, though she didn't want to leave the sea, and the thought of it not being so near, bothered her. She could not deny that the place had merit. And that he had thought of her herbal remedies, made her heart swell a bit. She did not think that there would be any other healers. She was one of the few at least in the bay and surrounding areas. Her husband had spoken of another, further down towards the plateau and another up towards the mountains, but she could not remember names. I'm glad it has a forest for herbal remedies. It sounds pleasing. Though mountains are cold.
RE: all this time - Charon - October 26, 2015
Charon was glad that the tension was slowly thawing and that Thistle seemed pleased that he'd consider her herbs. He wondered what sort of herbs grew on mountains: perhaps there would be herbs that were beneficial to a healer, too. He'd never thought much about mountains being colder — his stay at the Sunspire was his first real stay at a mountain — but he was sure they'd get through it, and that the forested areas at Moonspear's base would protect them on the coldest of days.
"Maybe you could teach me some things about herbs when we get there," Charon said with a careful smile. As a naturalist, herbs were of his interest, even though it wasn't at the top of his priority list — but even though he was no healer, it might be good to learn what herbs healers needed.
RE: all this time - Thistle Cloud - November 14, 2015
Sorry for the delay. My kids have literally been sick for two weeks. It started with tummy bugs, turned into more, then it turned into sinus infections and lastly ear infections. The weather needs to figure out what it is doing it's making everybody sick. Warm one day freezing the next.
Thistle listened and settled herself easily. She was slowly allowing the tension to melt away. Granted yes she was still hurt and a little irritated, but what good would it do to speak on it. She could talk an talk until she was blue in the face, he would still leave and so would the others. So the lesser of two evils was to just follow along. She wouldn't deny it might be nice to not have such responsibilities as well.
Thistle Cloud nodded her head, I would love too. It can be boring, but it is nice to have a working knowledge if you should ever find yourself alone and hurt. I used my knowledge many times on my way here from my former home. She smiled, her thoughts veering towards her mother and father, and how they were faring. She hoped they were well.
RE: all this time - Charon - November 18, 2015
Charon was glad that the tension between him and Thistle was fading so they could get on with things. The only way to go was forward now. He smiled when she said she'd like to teach him about herbs. It would be a good addition to his naturalism skillset.
She spoke of her former home, and the way she said it it sounded like it'd been quite a journey to get here. "Was your former home far from here?" he asked, finding himself curious about Thistle's past.
RE: all this time - Thistle Cloud - November 28, 2015
Thistle heard his question adn she was quiet for a moment trying to remember. She had walked quite a few miles and it had taken a long time, but she honestly couldn't remember how long it had taken her. Yes it is. It was also along the coast much like here, though we had a forest behind us. I lived there with just our small family, we were not a pack exactly, just a familial unit. My brothers left before me, and then I followed a year later. Found myself here, well at the ridge first.
RE: all this time - Charon - December 01, 2015
Charon imagined when he heard that Thistle'd lived in a familial unit sort of pack that it must be hard for her to go to living in a bigger pack. Maybe that was part of why she didn't feel like the Bay needed change (or maybe just because it ward hard to admit). "So kind of like here," Charon said and he smiled lightly.
"Hey, I should be off. I'm glad we're okay." Charon smiled at Thistle, nuzzled her face briefly and then turned away, intending to prepare more for the move.