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+--- Thread: Porcupine Ridge things my heart used to know (/showthread.php?tid=12995)
things my heart used to know - Diane - February 04, 2016
Several days had now passed since Tagg had led her into the mountain depths and into the wintry Arcadia she now called her home. Everything was much colder and harder than she was used to, but it was a change she accepted willingly—and her troubles made it easy to forget her irrevocable fear. Though, at nearly every turn Diane was reminded of how much this wasn't the life she had been raised attuned to.
There was no sea song. No waves or their symphonies. The ground did not yield to her paws, and everything smelt new and unfamiliar. But even though active comparisons of her birthplace were being made in the back of her thoughts, there was nothing more distracting than being thrown headfirst into the unknown. She had been graciously fed and watered, with little expectation for anything of use during her introductory grace-period, and it made Diane uneasy being stagnant. She wanted desperately to prove her worth.
Nothing about the mountainous topography was easily accustomed to. She slipped quite a lot, and her paws felt rawer than they ever had. She had just attempted to make her first kill on the Ridge, which ended in a spectacular tumble down a rough, icy hill. Shaking, and finding herself generally unharmed, the young wolf limped away from the embarrassing crash-site, and stopped several yards away to lie and tend to her suffering feet.
She licked them, grimacing as she relieved herself of embedded grit and pebbles, trying to ignore the stinging taste of disappointing failure left on her tongue.
RE: things my heart used to know - Jhala - February 07, 2016
To someone who adapts quickly, it's strange to think that someone else couldn't get a handle on something new. For instance, Jhala had already figured out being a Beta. Sure, there were plenty of things she'd have to work on in the future, but her new duties were mostly borders. She was in charge of chasing people out usually, but now she had authority with it. That's it! It was that simple!... in theory, anyway. Regardless of her maturity there were thousands of things she was overlooking; it was a huge responsibility and she needed to take a lot into account. But she didn't know how, so she didn't.
For now, she just patrolled the territory. When she got a bit antsy, she looked for something to do. Originally she was hoping to find Anwyl. He had run out on her recently and she didn't understand why; embarrassment, she guessed. It was not Anwyl who she had found though, no... it was some female. Probably part of the pack but no one that Jhala had seen before. She was about to call out a hello before she watched as she tumbled down the side of a cliff. The black and white girl scrambled quickly to her feet before making her way down the mountain to meet up with her (taking a more stable path herself).
When she reached the bottom, the other wolf seemed fine- a bit butthurt but fine all the same. "Hi, uhm.. I'm Jhala, we haven't met," she began as she approached her, remembering last second to position herself above this wolf. "Are you alright?" she asked, keeping her shoulders straightened and head high.
RE: things my heart used to know - Farstep - February 07, 2016
Farstep watched from a nearby ridge as an unfamiliar female lost her footing and crashed down the side of their squat mountain. The Beta male's limbs swept him into a flowing gait and he traversed the distance between himself and Diane with practice grace. Their joint time on the ridge was not yet substantial, but the wolves of the pack were already accustomed to their rocky home. It would take time for the newcomer to adjust, herself.
Before he reached Diane, Jhala was on the scene. The new Beta held her head high and squared her shoulders, and Farstep paused to eye her a moment before moving forward. The tension between the Alpha pair, coupled with the abrupt shift of power among the females, had put Farstep on edge and though he had respect for Jhala, it was not so high as his respect for himself. He had won his rank and they were equals in name, and so he approached without hesitation or deference of his own, but instead of insisting on dominance over the newcomer, he lowered his head to sniff gingerly at the hairs splayed across Diane's shoulders.
When he caught Taggarik's scent, he whined softly, wagging his tail, and nosed at her cheek as though to silently ask the question he didn't know Jhala had verbally posed.
RE: things my heart used to know - Diane - February 07, 2016
Approaching footsteps drew her gaze upwards, and she watched sheepishly as a female came to stand before her, having apparently seen her clumsy dismount down the Ridge. As the larger, unfamiliar she-wolf speculated at her, Diane noticed her posture shift into visible dominance—not that this seemed necessary for the newest follower of Tagg. Her ears pulled back, more out of embarrassment than anything, but the respect for the other was clear on her face. "Yes, I'm.. I'm okay. Thank you," the wolf said in a small voice; "Jhala." The name was spoken as an afterthought, testing it lightly on her tongue.
"I'm Dia—" A male was there suddenly, and she gazed up at him with wide, melting eyes. "Diane," she finished breathlessly, having had it stolen by the swift appearance of the Beta male, all earth tones and blue eyes. He glided to her side, his nose at her ruff as she inclined her head, nearly burying her nose between her splayed forepaws.
His nearness made her uneasy, and when he touched her—a kind graze against her cheek—a flashback occurred to the very last time she had been touched unexpectedly. She was being dragged out of the water, and remembering all the water sent her into immediate panic-mode. The traumatized wolf flinched harshly and cried out as if she had been touched by fire. Her yelp echoed off the cold rocks above them.
The scent of fear exploded from her glands, and she scuttled backwards, her forehalf bowed and her tail tucked tightly between her legs, plying itself against her belly. She whined, the strength of her fear ebbing as she mentally returned to her body, but by now the feeling was being replaced by a massive surge of uncertainty. Her reaction had been automatic and wholly unexpected by all parties, herself included. She looked to them both, eyes darting, avoiding eye contact, and entirely unsure if she should bolt or not. An apologetic whine crawled from her lips.
As a start, her tail began to wag from beneath her, so that even though her ears were pulled back in shame for her reaction, there was an effort to reassure them.
RE: things my heart used to know - Jhala - February 08, 2016
The tawny beta seemed far more concerned with Diane's well being when he arrived- Jhala was shocked when he came too as she hadn't sensed him. No matter, she assumed that Diane had only taken a tumble and was only tending to her pride. She tilted her head slightly at the male as he began to prod her cheek softly. Right away the girl was taken by surprise and bolted back, leaving the dark beta to inhale her fear and watch with confusion.
Was it also disapproval? Hard to tell. The closeness probably spooked her, and Jhala could understand that, but she grew so timid at the touch it was almost uncalled for. She gave a gentle smile, however, when the girl regained herself, and asked for silent forgiveness for her strangeness. "You alright?" she repeated, but this time referring to a number of different things.
RE: things my heart used to know - Farstep - February 08, 2016
Diane's swift and unexpected reaction brought alarm to the forefront of his mind and he pulled back his lips, revealing his teeth in a brief admonishing flash, as if her reaction was offensive to him and his position. It was fleeting, however, and within moments his muzzle had smoothed back out and his expression returned to one of neutrality, though his eyes were a little wider and a little more wary as she looked over the newest member of the pack.
He didn't approach to touch her again. Even Farstep could tell that touch was unwelcome, and he was also bothered by how quickly she had pulled away, as if zapped by lightning. Having done nothing to harm her, the agouti male was perplexed and a little hurt, as well, and contented himself with standing some short distance away, refusing to move toward Diane a second time. He flicked his ears to hear her whine, but there was uncertainty and mistrust edging him now as a result of her sudden, explosive reaction; where normally he would have approached with a reassuring lick, Farstep stood still as stone.
RE: things my heart used to know - Diane - February 09, 2016
With measured pants, Diane got her heart to decelerate, which in turn caused the rest of her body to soften muscle by sinewy muscle. She eased out of her bowed crouch, trying to keep the absolute horror out of her expression, and equally to study their expressions which certainly reflected disgust. Jhala spoke, but the unnamed male did not, and she belatedly realized that this dominant colt must be the Tagg's second. The range of embarrassment continued to grow.
"Yes, I mean, I think.. well, I didn't, I just didn't expect it. I've never—" How does one explain a sudden face shyness? How does she say that the last touch her face had received had been done to shove a paw down her throat and make her vomit a bellyful of seawater? The Beta male stood by in acute stoicism, and Diane could feel the judgement set in his stance, passed on her in a moment of drowning recollection. She had hoped to keep this affliction at bay, and it seemed she had been outed first-step by two of the most powerful wolves here.
But even though she felt too small and too visible, Diane did not stop wagging her tail in small, quick sweeps against her hocks. Shaking off the anxiety. "I've never been afflicted like this before," she sought redemption, understanding; though she was unwilling to say that the reason was because everyone she had ever known was presumed dead, and she was running from something that was purely in her head—that popped up at will. Most inappropriately.
"I just.. I just need to get used to it," she said, feeling hyper aware of herself, but stronger than that was a desire to subdue the self-consciousness. She took a tentative step towards Jhala, dipping her head and stepping once more, swallowing as she asked to be touched. "Please," she quietly beckoned the starkly colored female, afraid that she would be treated like the plague. And a cruel part of her felt like she deserved it for all the running. "I don't want to be afraid here. I won't—I can't be afraid here."
To the silent male (who she expected to leave soon instead), she pulled back her ears and realigned the positioned vibe of her body so that everything about her read as an apologetic invitation with no obvious expectation for his acceptance.
When Tagg had described this one, she had imagined her mute, dim cousin Bastille—a distracted boy, sweet but unconscious of his wrongdoings. But he was not like that. No, this was an uncivilized swain, but highly competent by comparison. He was dominant in his own right, and a fine match for the kind and powerful Jhala (because Diane assumed again that their respective ranks implied a mateship).
RE: things my heart used to know - Jhala - February 09, 2016
*attempts to match length*
In a brief moment of misunderstanding, her co-rank made a move that held dominance. It mostly held offense, rather than anger, and when he came to a realization that it was not meant to offend; his expression turned mostly to normal. It still seemed that there was hurt, and the girl gave him a gentle nudge to the shoulder, issuing a whine in hopes to reassure him. It was hard for him to understand the situation, as her body language kind of mismatched her words, but Jhala did her best to help him at least understand that everything was okay. Drawing her muzzle away from his shoulder, she turned back to Diane. Jhala sat where she stood and gave a yip to the reddish male, her tail thumping behind her as she silently requested he sit with them.
"Didn't expect it?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. It wasn't condescending, just a bit shocked. "I'm assuming you've been told- he doesn't understand speech," she said, giving the male a kind smile as she glanced towards him. "He communicates with touch and stuff," she informed, the 'and stuff' referring mostly to the noises that wolves made to communicate. But that was a bit rude to infer, as for the most part she was new and probably had never met him face to face- how was she to really know how he communicated?
"Afflicted?" she then questioned, but the girl seemed to move past it quickly, claiming that she just needed to get used to it. Jhala asked no more, and instead just shrugged.
"It's no prob," the girl replied shaking her head. "Just do what you're supposed to, you shouldn't have any problems," she shrugged, which wasn't really the best advice to someone who may have just had a panic attack. "I mean everyone's real nice here... I can introduce you to my friend Anwyl later," she then offered, her tail wagging.
The girl then gazed to the other beta curiously, her amber eyes finding his expression to see how he was reacting. They were equals now- couldn't really challenge one another- could she find his eyes directly? The girl wasn't sure, and instead avoided it as she usually would. She gave him another friendly whine, her tail still thumping. Was he okay? He obviously didn't understand what they were saying, and he might've been a little confused- it was kind of cruel of them really. But Jhala fought to keep him at least involved, trying to stretch her focus and attention to them both.
The two definitely were not romantically involved, Jhala was honestly far more interested in her pale friend Anwyl. Porcupine Ridge did work in 'power couples' though, and the black and white yearling hadn't really thought that part of it through- still hadn't.
RE: things my heart used to know - Farstep - February 10, 2016
The man gripped the ground with his paws, seeking steadiness where he found only reeling. His advances were his sole form of communication and, having been rejected in that, the beta dog was unsure of how to proceed. Jhala explained the situation, but of course, Farstep didn't hear it. He was beginning to be able to tell the difference between a normal vocalization, the sort he was used to, and the sort these wolves used in abundance, but to him they were still all growls and grunts. The "other" sort was a little different, a little less like pebbles skittering down cliffs, but just as nonsensical to his ears.
Diane's posture was apologetic. Ordinarily the male would've taken the invitation to sweep forward and reassure her, and he almost did—he faltered forward a step before halting. His touch was unwelcome, her reaction had said, and he wouldn't presume that that had changed in the last few beats. Jhala herself was doing nothing much aside from their back-and-forth "other" form of vocalization, so Farstep, understanding that this was not a situation with which he could work, woofed lightly, swayed his tail back and forth a few times to dispel any tension, then turned and loped away.
RE: things my heart used to know - Diane - February 11, 2016
Neither of them touched her, which was a large relief to the girl who was putting on a boldfaced front. She didn't know what would've happened if she was touched again in that moment—and though she imagined herself tolerating it, the flashback she'd experienced had been so real that she wasn't sure she even knew herself anymore. Or could trust her own body that seemed to be betraying her now at every turn here. She let out the breath she'd unwittingly been holding, and watched sadly as Tagg's second bid them a soft, curt goodbye.
All the reassurances Jhala had previously instilled upon her vanished briefly, and ancient coin eyes kept after him until the Ridge swallowed him up. Apologetically, she looked towards the superior female, but decided not to speak on his departure. It was hard enough as it was to consider that she had made a poor first impression to both Betas at the same time, without further concerning herself with the fact that one had been disturbed enough to leave. Jhala's polite, though slightly intimidating presence, kept her from dwelling on the down too much.
She remembered instead the fondness with which she had spoke on her friend. "Tell me about Anwyl," she bade softly.
Oh please don't feel obligated to match my weird, ranging post lengths! I'm still trying to get a feel for Diane, so sometimes I end up writing too much xD
RE: things my heart used to know - Jhala - February 15, 2016
She is wonderful so far!! (:
The other Beta left, and although disappointed he did so- Jhala knew that he really wasn't contributing anything to the situation. She let out a friendly bark of goodbye and watched him go, looking upon his features with curiosity before turning back to Diane.
Talk about Anwyl? Now that was something she could do. Although the young Beta didn't know much about the boy, she really liked to think about him. She wanted to get to know him, and she really hoped he wanted to get to know her. Her tail wagged a little, thumping against the ground. "Oh he's great!" she exclaimed, ears perking as she spoke to the older fae. "He's a lil' bit younger than me but real' nice. He's teaching me how to hunt porcupines!" she told her, probably sharing information that wasn't really useful to Diane- but it made her heart swell. Jhala shrugged a bit, watching her curiously.
RE: things my heart used to know - Diane - February 17, 2016
Diane found herself more and more distracted from the previous bane on their conversation as Jhala's posturing turning enthusiastic. There was a gleam in her molten eyes, and an inadvertent tug on her lips that she probably didn't even notice. Diane couldn't help but notice how smitten she seemed, but nor could she help the small twinge of jealousy she felt towards the friendly beta. Everyone she had ever known, loved, or merely been smitten with was gone—Jhala didn't know how lucky she was.
"Maybe, you know... once he's helped you master it, you can teach me?" she asked hopefully; wanting a friend. Needing a friend. "I mean, I should learn how to hunt them, right? Do we Ridge wolves specialize in porcupine hunting? Or is it not required? Do they even taste good?" she began firing off questions, obviously trying to bury her past flub with conversation. With the wordless male gone, it was easier to find her stride, and being around the accepting two-toned wolf before her made her all the more comfortable opening up. Diane didn't want to be the frightened and weak girl, adjusting too slowly to a new lifestyle.
Idly, as she and Jhala continued talking, her thoughts would sometimes wander back on how she'd reacted to Farstep's touch. What was that?
Fade here?
RE: things my heart used to know - Jhala - February 17, 2016
sounds good! thanks for the thread <3
Diane dove immediately into questions about porcupine hunting- questions that the poor beta really didn't have answers to. But Jhala tried her best to answer, her tail wagging happily at the girl who she was slowly considering a friend... her first friend! There was Anwyl sure but- that was maybe something more. She chuckled a bit at the questions. "Uh, hells yeah!" she yipped, tail thumping against the ground. "I don't think we're like 'posed to be good at it but there's so many of them... like it's hard not to wanna try! I still haven't caught one yet- but maybe I will next time! I'll let ya know how they taste," she told her, winking playfully.
She continued answering questions and chatting with her new friend for a while longer, enjoying her afternoon and making nice with the other wolves in the pack... if she was ever challenged, she hoped Diane would back her up... even further she hoped Diane wouldn't ever challenge her- but that was a worry for another day.