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+--- Thread: Sleeping Dragon better creatures could love you, i know (/showthread.php?tid=15796)
better creatures could love you, i know - Antumbra - June 11, 2016
A frown settles into her features as she shifts once she's out of view of the other two wolves and it doesn't take long to catch the scent trails the girl leaves behind. Still out of view, however, she finds herself relaxing before she catches the glimpse of fiery red she anticipates. If @Wildfire doesn't want to be found, she can't blame her, but there's a tinge of pain that comes with it. A constant question lingers over her head that she wishes to address but her absence since her return leaves her worried.
"Wildfire?" she calls out when she sees a waving tip of her tail but makes no extra effort to close their distance, ample time for the girl to escape her approach.
RE: better creatures could love you, i know - Wildfire - June 11, 2016
The sound of her name on the commander's tongue sent a bolt of... something through Wildfire. She set her jaw, took a few steadying breaths, then turned. She could not refuse the Alpha's attention when addressed so directly, no matter how much she wished to sink through the earth beneath her feet and disappear. And there was a part of her that was intrigued and wanted to know why Thuringwethil followed her, called out to her.
"Yes, Heda?" she answered quietly, keeping her head bowed and her eyes averted, tone unintentionally impersonal in its politeness. She was a picture of submissive respect, with none of her former familiarity.
RE: better creatures could love you, i know - Antumbra - June 18, 2016
Thuringwethil wants to expect a smile when Wildfire turns around, excitement in her eyes, but when she turns around she feels a frown settle into her features. Even if she hasn't noticed an overall picture of their relationship, the subtle change in her presentation of it has disappeared. Thuringwethil has only been gone a few days and since her return, she hasn't picked up anything necessarily out of order. Her brows burrow a little but she tries to straighten her expression and ease the knot in her stomach.
"Is something wrong?"
RE: better creatures could love you, i know - Wildfire - June 18, 2016
She could not see Thuringwethil, what with her eyes lowered this way, though she could hear the slight shift in her weight and the uncertainty in her voice. The question gave Wildfire pause. Nothing was wrong, per se, except that she didn't know what to do with her unrequited and otherwise unsettling feelings other than avoid the commander at all costs, making this forced interaction quite discombobulating for the lithe Delta.
"No," she answered eventually. "I just..." Her lips pressed together as she searched for what to say and how to say it. "I need space." Wildfire drew in a sharp breath, then rolled her shoulders, trying to coax some of the tension out of them. "To work through my feelings." She sort of mumbled that last bit, feeling the sting of embarrassment as her cheeks flushed beneath her fur and the skin on the back of her neck prickled with heat.
RE: better creatures could love you, i know - Antumbra - June 20, 2016
She isn’t given time to feel relief when answered. Space? Brows knit together in concern and she has to lean in, ears cupped forward again, even when the tension repels her. The weight of all the questions building up nearly cause them all to spill out of her mouth but she reels back anyway to give her space. Thuringwethil hadn’t considered the comfort she shared with the girl until now, when it’s gone, when Wildfire very clearly lost that comfort in her presence. Her ears lay flat against her head, recollecting the last time she’d really seen her, and her teeth grind in worry.
“I’m… I’m sorry if I scared you last time,” she says, muscles tense and her own relaxation is sucked out of her that she’s done something wrong. “I just—” she sucks in a shaky breath—“I missed you.” A lump lingers in the back of her throat, too large to swallow, at the thought of hurting her friend. Slate eyes close and she takes another step back, weighing the notion of her own hurt and how she might be able to fix it. “Take all the time you need,” she finds herself murmuring as she turns to leave.
RE: better creatures could love you, i know - Wildfire - June 20, 2016
The commander's first few words caught Wildfire off guard. Scared was not the word she would have used for any of this. She thought back on that nocturnal encounter. Perhaps Thuringwethil was referring to her nightmares. But they hadn't frightened the Delta. She had just wanted to comfort the ailing Alpha, which had prompted her to confess her feelings. She could still vividly remember the string of rejection as the Heda fell asleep right in the middle of the most important speech Wildfire had ever made.
Before she could formulate a response, the other woman took her by surprise again. I missed you. She bit her lip, aching suddenly at the literal and figurative distance that had opened up between them. "But you don't—" she began to refute when Thuringwethil closed her eyes, took a step back and made to leave. "Thur, hang on," the Delta said, genuinely confused. "What do you mean, scared? I wasn't... I mean, I was scared of my feelings? I guess? And of admitting them? If that's what you mean? But you didn't...?" Why was everything coming out as a question?
RE: better creatures could love you, i know - Antumbra - June 20, 2016
When Wildfire speaks again, Thuringwethil stops, but it takes a moment for her to turn and face the girl again as a series of questions are babbled off. Confusion remains constant on her face at this rate as she tries to piece together what’s going on. Her memory from the night is hazy, a fog from the nightmare, from being exhausted, followed by her trip. But, she realizes, there is a piece missing she hasn’t been carried around with her this entire time and no amount of scratching at the inner workings of her mind is going to bring it back.
“What are you talking about?” she says, her voice straining to keep even and calm. When she realizes they aren’t on the same page anymore, she knows the missing pieces have to be what she needs filled in and they just so happen to be Wildfire’s feelings that she’s scared of? “I didn’t what?” she adds, straightening up her shoulders a little but she can’t disguise how lost she feels.
RE: better creatures could love you, i know - Wildfire - June 20, 2016
Now that question stopped her in her (figurative) tracks. "I'm talking about—" she began, mouth clapping shut again at the second question. I didn't what? And suddenly it dawned on her and Wildfire felt such a painful mix of emotions that she suddenly found it hard to breathe. She was such a moron. The Heda hadn't fallen asleep to spite or avoid her. If she'd heard Wildfire's words at all, they clearly hadn't absorbed in any way. That meant Thuringwethil hadn't rejected her, a thought which promptly made the Delta's heart leap into her throat.
She had two options here: brush off the entire thing and pretend like it had never happened or make sure her feelings were crystal clear and understood. And, like a total dolt, the yearling just stood there, wildly deliberating, gasping in audible little breaths as her wide amber eyes stared at the commander.
RE: better creatures could love you, i know - Antumbra - June 20, 2016
Wildfire began to explain but cuts herself short, her expression changing enough that… still doesn’t clarify anything and Thuringwethil worries about the perpetual state of confusion of the last several minutes. Waiting for the other to open her mouth once more and explain, it continues on into an awkward silence of the flame of a wolf staring in her direction. Slate eyes move back and forth between her face to search her face but the longer she stands there, there’s no more information given to her. With a great deal a force, Thuringwethil finally swallows the lump in her throat and she steps a step forward.
“Wildfire?”
RE: better creatures could love you, i know - Wildfire - June 20, 2016
Thuringwethil looked right back, confusion and concern etched into her dark, chiseled features. When she said Wildfire's name, it broke the spell and the yearling looked down at her feet. Every romance ends in breakup or death, a disconsolate voice muttered in the back of her mind. And do you even like women? Really? Maybe she was just confused and this whole misunderstanding was fate's way of trying to detour around an inevitable car crash. Perhaps Wildfire should take the hint and bail.
"Nothing." The word gusted out of her in a powerful sigh. "It's nothing, Thur—Heda. I'm just in a weird place." Her face scrunched, brow furrowed, eyes suddenly distant. "I'm sorry," she continued quietly, "I just think I need some space. I'm not going anywhere or anything, I just—" Wildfire lifted her gaze, though she only stared off at a point just past Thuringwethil's right shoulder and remained silent for an awkwardly long moment.
"I have a bad habit of falling for the wrong person," she said eventually, unable to resist the urge to put it out there one last time, however subtly. Still avoiding eye contact, the Delta bowed her head and spun, dashing away.
RE: better creatures could love you, i know - Antumbra - June 20, 2016
She isn’t given a chance to answer. Wildfire’s doesn’t really explain, corrects her usage, and ultimately flees without waiting. Thuringwethil bounces a few steps forward but she doesn’t chase after her, watching her disappear within the pack’s territory. Her ears lift and she glances back, making sure the two she’d left at the borders hadn’t been near enough to hear them. She sighs a heavy breath but she’s given little relief from it, turning an opposite direction from all of them to replay the scene over and over.