Getting Octavia back to the Keep was a goal of his - though he'd told himself, and others, that his priority was the children of the Ostregas. He had focused on getting them home and his trips had been less about Octavia and more about just getting away and it had blurred into a mess. Stark had to stop several times either because of exhaustion or emotion but the Alpha had made slow progress as he carried Octavia home. 

This wasn't what he'd intended when he had wanted to bring her back to her pack. Back to her son. Stark swallowed back a sound before it happened again and he started to lose it. It had taken him two days of slow progress to bring her back to the packlands where they'd first met. He wanted to bury her by the stream where they'd first met - and maybe she would have found some peace with that.

He hoped firstly that he didn't find Tambourine - he needed to consider what to do. With everything that had happened he wasn't sure what he needed to do or what he had to do. Just beyond the pack's borders the Alpha collapsed for a moment, falling to the ground as awkwardly as he could while trying to maintain some sort of dignity for Octavia. 

He was quaking as he looked at her, emotions so overrun he did the only thing that made any sense to him and lifted his head, calling for @Banner. 

Stark kept looking over at Octavia, and every since time a fresh wave of emotion welled up in him. If not for how long it took him to bring her home he might have been there and been further into the grieving process but there was a special sort of hell carrying a loved one home to bury. Stark didn't have to wait very long for Banner to come to his aide, his eyes wide as he looked up at his sister before he looked back to Octavia's corpse and his mouth opened and snapped close dumbly. 

He wasn't sure what to do - what to say, and finally he pushed himself up on trembling legs. "Banner," Stark pushed himself against her, burying his face into her plush coat. "I... She.. Fuck, she died r-right next to me,"  Stark stammered out, his entire body trembling as he admitted it. It was the first time he had said it, no matter how much he had thought it or been faced with the facts. 

Everything stood still. Except for right then, Stark, of course, and he was quaking and quivering like a puppy who'd fallen into a river. Maybe one time it might have been York holding him instead of Banner, soothing out his fears and his worries and his aches. He wasn't going to be so easy to coddle but Banner was still there and she was still supporting him and at that moment Stark couldn't consider anything more in the world that he could want. 

"I've...Tambourine needs to know." Stark said weakly, finally pulling back from Banner's pelt to look into her green eyes. "Will you stay with m-me?" He asked softly. He was hopeful that maybe with Banner at his side he could call Tambourine and maybe they'd be able to face this all together. Still Octavia lay on her side where he'd fallen, where she'd slid from his back, and Stark wanted to correct where she was lying, he wanted to make her look more peaceful, more dignified.

He was too weak to move though, other than burying his face in Banner's pelt again. 

Banner's voice was soothing and Stark didn't feel nearly as weak leaning on her now. This was Banner. His sister would take care of him, she would help him, and he knew that he was safe in her embrace. She wouldn't judge him or the situation, she would somehow know just what he needed to help him survive. And right then, all that seemed was possible was survival. He couldn't overcome this or thrive in that environment. Stark would crumble, but, Banner would be there to help him step it up and get through everything. When Banner asked what they needed to do Stark pulled away, looking fretfully towards Octavia's still form. "Make...make her presentable." He said softly. 

He moved over to Octavia's body, slow and quiet and as respectfully as he could be of her body. He eased her from her limp position at her side and to her stomach, nuzzling her head until it was resting between her paws. She was still a mess, but, he had cleaned her face up already. She wasn't the vibrant one that she was once and Stark couldn't help that. He looked over at Banner, trying to see approval in her face - wondering if this was enough before finally the grieving Alpha lifted his head and called for @Tambourine. 

"This is going to be so hard.." He murmured softly, weakly. 

This was the only time he'd ever been unhappy to call Tambourine. The boy was always enthusiastic, eager for life and he had a spark that Stark envied. This however, was not going to be a happy call, and the male felt his blood chill. He looked to Banner for some sort of guidance, watching as she was just as delicate with Octavia as Stark had been. It was a kind gesture, one certainly done for his benefit as Banner never really had the chance to know Octavia. 

He took a seat but quickly stood again as he spotted the growing boy approaching. He came forward, nuzzling against him for a moment before he took an unsteady step out of the way to watch how Tambourine regarded the body of his mother. "Tam," He murmured softly, his blue eyes meeting Banner's green for a moment before flickering back uneasily to the young boy. "I'm sorry.....I didn't find your mom fast enough." He said weakly. 

"She...she didn't hurt, Tambourine." Stark promised earnestly, trying to blink back the emotions and be strong for the boy's sake. "She was peaceful when she passed away."

Stark might have offered a sad smile if he could have mustered any other level of emotion but it was hard for him to process things right then. Watching Tambourine investigate his mother's body; to be unable to tell her apart from anyone he might have drug to the pack, was hard. He looked to Banner and was grateful for her presence as ever, the dark Beta offering a response that saved Stark from an immediate need to supply an answer to a question like why. 

Why was subjective. It could have been why did she die, or why did she die, or just why when to a child who had already faced so much could there not be a happy ending? The Alpha reached over to gently nudge his sister, sighing quietly before he stepped closer to Tambourine. He didn't sit down, wanting to be available if the boy wanted to be held - understandably - or if he wanted to get away. Nothing would surprise him in that either. He would have gone after Tambourine if that was the case, but for then, he just waited with both the wolves he cared the most for. "We're here for you." He said softly, "We love you." He reminded him quietly. 

Stark nervously looked at Banner, unsure if now was really the time or the place but it might have done the young boy some good to know he wasn't the first - he wouldn't be the last either - to lose their mother. "It was...it was really hard, when my mom died. If it wasn't for Banner I might have never made it." He admitted. 

The boy was taking it in stride, something that Stark found himself eternally grateful for. It saved him trying to hold off his own emotions for handling Tambourine's and reassuring the child of life and love and death and all the wonderfully terrible things that made up the world. They were in the same club, now. The motherless - ones who might someday try and achieve greatness just for the sake of a worn out memory. 

"She won't wake up," He agreed quietly, meeting Banner's gaze for a moment before it shifted back to Tambourine. "I think death is like staying asleep - but there aren't nightmares, and it's just peaceful. Like Banner said." There was no way to tell anyways, though Stark was more inclined to think that death was just that. Dead. Nothing. It wasn't like he'd tell that to the boy though right then. "I think what might be nice is if we bury her near the river." Stark said, gaze flickering between both wolves as he looked for approval. He couldn't ask Octavia, after all, but it was a spot that seemed the most appropriate where it was near the aspects of the pack's grounds she had loved. 

"Do you want to help me pick a spot?" He asked the boy - they could choose one together for her.

They made the grave, they brought her to it, Stark laid her down as delicately as he could and tried to make her seem at peace. It was what he kept saying - what he kept promising himself in his head. She's at peace. How did peace work when the darkness was all there was? What could he give her now, that she was decaying muscle and cold flesh? Stark washed his tongue across her forehead, nuzzling against her for a moment as a soft sound - a whine left him. 

It was hard to consider leaving her behind and even harder to consider covering her up. The earth would swallow her, it would consume her, it would become one with her. Stark took a moment to nuzzle against Tambourine and then Banner. This was something he couldn't expect such a young child to shoulder so easily, but then, Tambourine was a different sort of child entirely. 

Leaving Octavia beneath the tree for the river to rush by her and the songs of crows above. Their schemes would wait, the dreams would visit - it would all be there with her.