Yes, he'd allowed a pregnant female into the pack and she'd given birth to three puppies. Stark had no thoughts to children of his own without Octavia, and now, with the ground still freshly tilled over her body, Stark didn't care. If Banner had something to say he expected her sister to wait and discuss it later with him. For now all that Stark had become was a senseless zombie. He hadn't slept yet, still unsure of how he could handle his emotions when he was trying to be supportive for Tambourine too. 

Stark wasn't aware that Pepper was anywhere nearby, and mostly, his movements were just stiff and uneasy. He didn't know how much of the pack had heard it yet and he hadn't had the sense to make any announcement yet. He was still trying to process things and ultimately, he was failing fantastically. Or maybe, it was just the same as anyone could expect. He'd never been in that position before. 

Stark was so lost to his thoughts that he hadn't realized Pepper was approaching. Maybe he should have taken that as a hint to stay in the packs borders - if he was so easy to sneak up on clearly he shouldn't have been milling about. The dark Alpha jumped when Pepper nosed against him, turning to face her with eyes that were bloodshot. "Pepper, I -"  but he couldn't even try and produce any joke or quip or hum of anything happy, because he felt greatly like he'd forgotten the entire world and what it meant to be anything at all. Stark was gone right then, swept away to some other place in some other time and the emotions choked him. 

"Octavia died,"  Stark admitted - and maybe it was the first time he'd said such a thing out loud, maybe he was just weaker than he thought, but the moment the words left his louth his law clicked shut and he bit down on his own cheek to stop the rise of anything else. An irrational thought came to him, wondering why it was her, why it wasn't himself, but he couldn't have taken her illness from her. In reality he was fortunate to have shared as long with her as he had and now he had to face the days without her - facing the reality there would be no happily ever after. 

Fairy tales didn't come true, afterall. 

What could he even say? Any attempt to sort his mood out was just falling to the wayside. He felt her presence, she tucked herself against his side and for a moment he melted into the touch. There was a little tremble in him, this fear in him of falling apart was put aside for the support that she was offering to him. She didn't speak, and maybe that was for the best, and that was a good thing right then. He just soaked it up until she questioned him again, and Stark nodded weakly. "Yesterday," Stark said softly. "I... I had to have Banner help me. I couldn't... Not alone." 

And still if he tried to think and remember the past forty-eight hours he couldn't. Everything had stopped the moment that Octavia's eyes had dimmed and she had ceased to breathe. He closed his eyes for a moment and then tipped his head back, trying to squash the rise of emotions before he finally looked at her again. "I found her near the pack, maybe she was trying to get home again - but.... But she was so far gone. She died in my arms." Stark explained, the words clipped and thick with emotion. 

The last real loss that had shaken Stark was his mother's death. In many ways he blamed Curran even if it wasn't fair and he had taken a long time to accept that his mother was gone. He had been a mama's boy, and in many ways, he always would be. He had taken her loss to heart and had turned away from many - even Banner, for a time. Losing Octavia would probably have drastic impressions on the male as well but it was still hard to tell just how he would behave. Maybe he would take things more gracefully than in the past or perhaps, and far more likely, he would fall off the deep end. 

In what was it was still left to be seen and the male looked to Pepper as she offered her thoughts. "I don't think she knew anything at the end." Stark admitted. There had been a flicker of light in her eyes but it had been gone so quickly and Stark swallowed back the idea that she had been there at all - maybe it was easier to think of as her as just gone and the last true memory being their fight would be better. She'd been herself, then, at least mostly. She had spark and she had her fire, and Stark preferred that to the waif that had clung to him in those last moments, soothed by his presence enough to let go. Maybe it was inevitable and she would have been fine alone, but Stark was glad that he had been with her even if it hurt him so.

"I...I don't even know." He admitted softly. "I don't know what to do." He said with a tiny voice, finally meeting her eyes. "I...I keep thinking about the last time we saw each other. How we screamed at each other. That's the last memory she has of me." The swarthy male finally voiced some of his biggest concerns and felt a chill run down his spine. 

Pepper asked her questions as gently as she could have and Stark wasn't sure if Pepper was using the oven mitts on him or if she was trying to be gentle out of respect for the deceased. Pepper, to his knowledge, hadn't encountered a situation like this and neither had he. Losing a spouse was utterly different than a parent, even if he couldn't call Octavia his mate. It had been close enough in his mind to ward off any advances and to squash down any attraction after all and Stark had stepped in as parent to Octavia's only child. 

"Yeah..I..I talked. And it seemed to settle her, mostly." He'd made a mistake of mentioning Tambourine and she had become riled - maybe it was a hint that the woman was more there than Stark was giving her credit for but the dark Alpha would never truly know. It wasn't like he could ask Octavia, even though they had shared a poignant moment where he had admitted allowed his feelings for the first and only time when it came to the grayscale woman. 

"She isn't hurting anymore," Stark echoed the sentiment, held it like it was some small consolation although it was still hard to consider and it left him a bad taste in his mouth. "It's...it's so final - there's no going back and fixing things, no chance to come back around and make it all right." Stark said weakly. "I wish....maybe...we were so close to the pack, I could have called Tambourine..."

Tambourine wasn't old enough to face death. He didn't deserve that to happen to him, but, at least his last memories of his mother would be pleasant. Their time together had always been good as far as Stark knew, and Octavia had never had faltered near her son. Stark swallowed back a sound, like so many lately, that he deemed unmanly and weak. "Thanks, Pep." Stark said gently, for the reminder that maybe he'd made the right call in not calling Tambourine and maybe things had been handled as well as he could have. 

"I wasn't ready to face it." Stark said softly, his eyes closing for a moment. "I was hoping...maybe to fix things with her." Make their family something respectable, something whole. Now he could only build things with Tambourine and to help the boy through it - and hopefully he'd still want Stark involved in his life even without Octavia there too. 

The Alpha let his eyes close as the woman fussed over him for a moment, considering what she was saying by not directly saying it. Already she knew he was going to run himself down a bit and he gave a soft sigh. "Since then." He admitted quietly; he'd stayed with Tambourine after burying Octavia and the brief attempt at sleeping had been met with a nightmare he cared not to relive. 

When she nudged him gently Stark let her, blinking back the little rise of emotion. "Okay, Pepper." He murmured softly and allowed the woman to guide him as she pleased.